Audra's Quotes, Part. 2

It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a new bomber.

Half of the people in the world are below average.

A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the blackboard.

I am the fifth Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the

wrong answers.

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important

lesson to be learned: Do not have sex with the authorities.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

You "Star Trek" fans will appreciate this one:

If only real life problems could be solved with technobabble.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

When you're swimming in the creek

And an eel bites your cheek,

That's a moray!

ALPO is 99 cents a can. That's over SEVEN dog dollars!!

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I

hate plants.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.

My idea of God is the Voltron Lions. You got 5 different concepts, 5 different colours, each serving a different purpose in society, but when need arose they'd join together to form a giant deity who could beat the snot out of any demon who came in their way.

Cthulhu in 2000--It's time to stop choosing the lesser of two evils.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

I still miss my ex-boyfriend, but my aim is getting better.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's

life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if

there are men on base.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when

you make it again.

When I said "we", officer, I was referring to myself, the four young

ladies, and, of course, the goat.

Donna, is it true that you can pop a kernel of popcorn just by holding it between your thighs and thinking about German soccer players?

...a structure based on the unique needs of the individual rather than the monolithic version of power...

Can you ever do anything to influence someone's level of empathy and compassion?

I've squeezed pimples by the hundred

Ruptured pustules by the score.

I've milked my face until it bled

And still I crave for more.

You both have that insular mentality that says the world began and will end with your arrival & departure.

Hindu Taoist Mormon spill theirs just anywhere but God loves those who treat their semen with more care.

Make all the noise you want to on the toilet. Other people will hear you but it does not matter!

One was like, "Man what Aerosmith song is this?" And the other one was like "I dunno but I've heard it before."

Sir I think I wanted to express the duality of man -- a kind of Jungian thing sir.

I was standing at the sink with the faucet water barely running, making tiny minimalist sculptures.

There has been something bothering me lately. What are those black things under seals eyes -- could they be hairs?

When you see Geoffrey the Toys 'R' Us giraffe do you ever get the urge to stick him with a spear?