You were my strength when I was weak,
You were my voice when I couldn't speak,
You were my eyes when I couldn't see,
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed...
	--Celine Dion



CHAPTER 7:  FAITH

	For the first time in her recollection, Ace was awake while the Doctor slept.  She'd been 
restless and unable to sleep, and now she found herself sitting in a chair next to the bed, 
thinking.  The room was dim and her thoughts seemed very loud.
	She suspected that she was having what was referred to as a "moment of clarity."  She 
didn't know if it was the peace inside the TARDIS, Banner's borrowed mental strength or something
 inside herself, but she felt like she could examine her life with some degree of objectivity...and 
she was disturbed to find that it didn't make much more sense than it ever had.  She viewed her
 own actions through the wrong end of the telescope of maturity and hindsight, and some of them
 seemed reasonable while some of them seemed like the ravings of a madwoman.  Had she ever
really been that young?  Had she ever really been that unsure of herself that her only way of 
defining her own existence was through other people's actions towards her?  Apparently she had. 
	She'd been thinking that the Doctor had changed a lot since she'd known him.  He must have
...how else could she have run such a gamut of emotions about him?  She wasn't sure anymore 
if he'd actually changed, but she *was* sure that she had, and a great deal.  He no longer had the
 kind of power over her that he'd had once upon a time, the power to confuse and manipulate her, 
because she knew who she was and she chose her own path.  She'd made herself his equal, if not 
in experience or knowledge then at least in character...and it had freed them both.
	She felt a hand on her ankle, which was propped against the side of the bed, and looked down
 to see him looking back up at her.  "What are you doing up at this hour?  Couldn't you sleep?" he 
asked, sounding fully awake.  That was one thing about the Doctor that took getting used to...his 
ability to snap instantly in and out of consciousness.
	"Just...thinking my thoughts."  She slipped her robe off and crawled under the covers to be 
drawn gently back into his arms.  It was still amazing to her how natural it felt to be held and 
touched by him.  "I was...well, I guess you could say that I was reflecting on my life."
	"Tell me about it."
	She was silent for a moment, considering her words carefully.  "I think that the thing I fear
 most in the universe is uncertainty.  I've spent most of my life fighting it.  Our relationship was
 fine until uncertainty entered it...and I hated you for making me doubt you.  I found a home in 
Spacefleet, where there was no ambiguity.  Someone told me what to do, and when to do it, and
 I knew exactly who I was fighting and why."
	"And when you left Spacefleet to rejoin Benny and I..."
	"Right.  I had trouble, because nothing was so clear-cut anymore.  Man, now that I think 
about it, it explains so much of my life!  I hated my mother because I was never sure how she 
felt about me.  I hated bigotry because you could never tell behind whose face it might be lurking.
  And I hated myself, because I had no idea who I was."
	"And what was the conclusion you drew from all of this?" he asked softly.
	She propped herself up on one elbow to look down at him.  "I only found any kind of peace
 with myself once I realized that life *is* uncertainty.  There's no way around it, and it's 
everywhere.  If everything was certain, there'd be no point in living.  Eventually, I discovered
 that it's okay to be confused.  It doesn't mean you're weak, or you're any less of a person.  It 
took me a long time to learn that lesson."  She smiled ruefully.  "And it's the ultimate irony, 
in a way."
	"What is?"
	"When I was able to really digest that lesson, it cleared up a lot of things for me...including
 us.  Theo gave me a push, but I think I would have figured it out eventually.  So...I had to accept 
uncertainty to allow myself to see what I'm now most certain of."  She reached down and laid a 
hand on his face.
	He looked as if he might cry.  He reached up and traced one finger down her cheek.  "In a 
way you're far more of an adult than I am, Ace," he said.  "It only took you a few years to open
 yourself up to life's possibilities.  Look how long it took me."
	She lay back down.  "It's not your fault...well, not entirely anyway.  And I'd say it was 
worth it in the end," she said, smiling.  He hugged her so tightly she thought her ribs might crack.
	"I don't think I deserve you," he said with a sigh.
	"Oh, I wouldn't put it like that.  But...okay."
	He chuckled and rolled out of bed, reaching for his clothes.
	"Time to get up already?"
	"For me.  You've haven't slept a wink yet."
	"Are you ever going to tell me where we're going?"
	He leaned over her, knotting his tie, a twinkle in his eyes.  "You leave that to me," he said.
  He kissed her forehead and left the room.  In a few minutes she was soundly asleep.


	The planet Odelphus was little more than a huge uninhabited floating piece of rock, scarcely
 more interesting than an asteroid, and few travelers paid it any mind.  However, to those in 
the know, there was secreted beneath the barren surface one of the true wonders of the 
universe...the Odelphan Harmonic Caverns.
	The Caverns were a natural formation...miles and miles of underground caves and passages
 all lined with enormous and intricate outcroppings of natural crystal lattice.  The crystals, 
some small as gems and some large as Roman columns, were intrinsically phosphorescent 
over a wide range of colors, and they produced harmonic resonances that spun together to 
create a symphony of crystalline music with a hundred thousand voices.   Built into the largest
 of the caverns was a very exclusive resort.  It blended into the surroundings seamlessly and 
sprawled across the rock face almost as if it had grown there.  The operators did not advertise,
 nor was the place listed on any galactic directory...they got all the business they could handle 
just by word of mouth.  The TARDIS materialized in the round reception area, half of which 
was a huge domed sheet of glass looking out into the mammoth cavern outside, and Ace was 
scarcely surprised when the Doctor was welcomed warmly and immediately handed a key.
	They spent the day hiking in the Caverns, surrounded by the gentle light exuded by the
 crystal formations and bathed in their music.
	"What do you think?" the Doctor called to her from atop a large boulder-shaped outcropping,
as she turned slowly in a circle, trying to look everywhere at once.
	"Do places like this really exist?" she asked in wonder.  He jumped down and moved to stand
 beside her.
	"They're everywhere...when you know where to look.  If you're in search of miracles, open
 up your eyes.  There's one every morning at sunrise."


	After a tiring but amazing day in the caverns they returned to the lodge and were ushered
 into the dining room, which was built right up against the crystalline rock face, so that the 
natural hills and valleys of the surface formed one whole side of the chamber.  Although the 
room was large enough to accommodate the 50 guests present at the fully booked lodge, it was
 cleverly laid out so that each table felt private.  At once a waiter appeared and before Ace, 
who was famished, could utter a word, he had laid before them an impressive spread consisting
 of just about exactly what she would have ordered.  The waiter vanished with a broad smile.
	Ace shook her head in puzzlement.  "Do they hire telepathic waiters here?" she asked.
	The Doctor grinned.  "Not to my knowledge.  They're just very very good at their jobs, 
and they're careful observers of behavior such that they almost appear to anticipate your
every desire.  For this and lots of other reasons this place has a two year waiting list."
	"How is it that we just walked in?"
	He tapped his nose.  "It pays to have connections."
	"You know, there are times when traveling with you has definite advantages," she said 
airily, attacking something delicious and not really caring that she hadn't a clue what it was.
	"Remember that the next time we end up someplace where I'm on the Ten Most Wanted list."
	They fell silent for some moments.  Ace ate hugely of everything while the Doctor just 
tasted things, as usual.  "How long can we stay here?" she asked.
	"As long as you like," he said.  "Although this place really should be taken in small doses. 
 The Caverns are scarcely to be believed, but even the most beautiful things can get old with 
overexposure."
	"Agreed.  Let's just stay the night and leave in the morning.  Where to next?"
	"Well, I picked this place so it's only fair you pick the next one."
	She grinned.  "I've got an idea...but I don't know if you'll go for it."
	"Has that ever stopped you before?"
	She stuck her tongue out at him.  "Okay, you asked for it.  It's something I've always 
wanted to do."
	"What?"
	"Let's go whitewater rafting!" she said, her face daring him to make what he could of *that.*
	To her surprise he looked excited.  "That sounds like a smashing idea!"
	"Seriously?  You're not just saying that?"
	"Not in the slightest.  It's not often that I do something death-defying when I'm not actually
 defying death...and I think I know the perfect spot for it."
	"Somehow I thought you might," she said.  He watched her as she dug into a big fluffy 
concoction of...something.  Whatever it was, by the look on her face it was sending her someplace
 beyond the realm of human experience.
	"You know, I think I know the exact moment when I began to love you," he said thoughtfully.
	She looked up at him, a bemused expression on her face.  "That night at the dinner table 
when I sat on that ridiculous pinecone?" she said.
	He stared at her blankly until she burst into laughter.  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I guess you 
didn't see that movie.  No, no, go ahead and tell me."
	"No.  I'm not telling you now," he said with a sniff.  He felt silly and insulted and euphoric 
all at the same time.
	"Oh, don't get all pouty with me, it won't wash."
	"I try to have a meaningful conversation and you make fun of me?" he teased.
	"You know, it's amazing.  For all your posturing you, Doctor, are a romantic sap," she
 said, punctuating key words with jabs of her drippy spoon.
	"Humor me, I'm new at this and I want to make sure I'm filling the full sappiness quota."
	She laughed over a mouthful of whatever she was eating.  "So tell me."
	His face went serious.  "It was at Maiden's Point, when you dove off the rocks into the 
lagoon.  You were too strong for your own hate, and you decided not to let it rule you anymore. 
 I was watching, I was there...and you remade yourself," he said, reaching across the table to 
take her hand.  She gripped his fingers and their eyes met over the candles.  "And it's odd that 
I should choose that moment, isn't it?  That's the same moment that you began to lose faith in me."
	"It'd probably be more accurate to say that's the moment when I first began to *see* you."
  She paused.  "And unfortunately, the truth hurts.  I didn't want to see it, because it didn't fit 
with this image of you I had.  But reality gets you in the end, doesn't it?"
	"Every time."  He sighed.  "What about you?"
	"You mean, do I have a moment?"  She thought for a second.  "I think I do.  It was on Heaven."
	"Heaven?  That surprises me."
	"For a long time all I could remember about Heaven was Jan and the way he died, but
 before that happened it was a very good place."  She shifted in her chair.  "I've never told 
you this before, but on Heaven I had a dream about you.  You were bargaining with Death for
 my life, because you knew that many would soon die.  You offered one of your lives for mine,
 but Death refused and asked if you had another to offer instead.  Then I woke up."
	"That must have made Jan's death seem all the more significant."
	"Yes, that's exactly what I thought.  But at the time, when I woke up, all I felt was this 
incredible affection for you, that you'd do that for me.  I think that may have been the moment,
 although other things that happened later sort of blotted it out for a long time."
	"And you really wanted Jan and I to like each other after that, didn't you?  Because you 
loved us both and wanted him to come with us."
	She squeezed his hand and smiled.  "It's quite something to have someone who just 
understands you without having to be told, you know?"
	"I understand how my actions must have seemed to you...I can scarcely comprehend t
hem myself," he said flatly.
	Ace frowned slightly.  "I know you're sick of hearing this and of saying it, but you had 
no choice...and I forgave you long ago for that and for a hundred other things."
	"I don't want to be forgiven," he said, frowning.  This conversation was taking a very 
serious turn, perhaps prematurely.
	"I know.  The only punishment you ever received for your actions was the anger and 
hatred of those you cared for, me in particular, and if that's taken away by forgiveness...well,
 then there are no consequences to you, and you can't play the long-suffering Time Lord.  If 
you didn't suffer, then you couldn't justify your meddling, and if you can't justify it, then 
you can't continue doing it.  Do you get it?  My retribution freed you to keep on with your 
schemes!"  Anger was creeping into her voice as she realized the truth of her own words.  
"You were able to keep on doing terrible things only because I hated you for it!  Mayrters 
make the best crusaders, you know...I've seen it a thousand times."  She released his hand and
 sat back, crossing her arms over her chest.  "I never understood how it was so easy for you
 to manhandle other people's very existences.  I still don't understand it, but I'm pretty sure 
I've managed to accept it.  The thing is, I still wonder if you'd do that to me again, if you had to."
	"If I had to," he murmured.  "This is what keeps me awake at night, to use a human 
expression.  I live in fear of that very situation.  I wish with all my hearts that I could look 
you in the eye and say that I'll never again risk you, or manipulate you, or cause you pain.  But
 I can't make that promise, because I couldn't be sure it wasn't a lie...and the best I can do is 
never lie to you again."  He looked up at her wearily.  She stared back, her face calm but equally
 resigned.
	"Doctor, none of this is any news to me.  I knew all too well what I was getting into when
 I let myself love you.  I knew it could come down to another terrible choice, another betrayal,
 another pivot point in time.  So the question is, is it worth it?  Is keeping what we have worth 
what it might be like later?"  They looked at each other, the gravity of these issues weighing 
heavily on their shoulders.
	He stared down at his plate, suddenly unable to meet her eyes.  "Maybe..."  He paused and
 rubbed one eye briefly, sickened by what he was about to say.  "Maybe it would be better in 
the long run if we...if we just let it go."
	"Is that what you want?" she whispered, a slow tear tracking down her cheek.
	"No," he said immediately.  
	"What *do* you want?"
	"What I want isn't the issue."
	"Yes it is!" she said vehemently, leaning across the table.  "This relationship is a risk, a 
big one, but it's not just my risk.  If you say you can't promise never to hurt or manipulate me,
 then it's equally true that I can't promise never to hurt or manipulate you!  No one can ever 
promise that, much as they might wish to.  This is something Theo told me, and I'm just now
 understanding what she meant.  In *all* trust there's the possibility of betrayal.  You and I 
have been down that road before, many times.  But you have be willing to take the risk, because
 without trust there is nothing.  You say that what you want isn't the issue, but I say it's the 
only issue, Doctor!  Do you want this enough to risk it failing?  You have to be willing to roll 
the dice and take your chances, because nothing's a sure thing.  There's no planet safe enough,
 there's no relationship secure enough, there's no plan foolproof enough.  So we're back to:  is 
it worth it?  Would you rather choose the risk and live a full life, or would you rather hide in
a corner and be safe and alone?"
	He gazed across at her.  "What about you?"
	"This isn't about me, it's about us.  I've made my choice, and it wasn't hard, because 
I've never been one to play it safe.  Maybe it's foolhardy, and maybe I should know better, but
 I've always been willing to back a long shot if I had strong enough feelings about it.  I don't 
know what lies ahead for us but I do know that I love you so much that it hurts and that's 
worth some risk.  I'm going into this with my eyes open and I'll chance facing whatever 
obstacles the future holds.  That's called faith, and it's not something I'm used to having."  
She stood up and walked around the table to stand looking intently down at him.  "What about it,
 Professor?  Do you have any faith?  I know that your whole life you've chosen safety.  You've
 never risked this kind of suffering, because you've never let yourself get near enough to it.  
If you choose safety again, I won't hold it against you.  We're both adults.  I will go back to 
my life and you'll go back to yours.  So there's no fear of retribution, no guilt over ruined 
lives or other nonsense.  Just a simple choice.  Is it worth it?  Are you willing to face the 
risk?  How much faith do you have?"
	She stood waiting for his answer, her face merely expectant.  He marveled that she 
ould be so calm about this, the future of their relationship.  It's because she knows what *she*
 wants, a voice said to him.  It's out of her hands now, and she's made her peace with herself.  
It's up to you.
	He looked up at her, his face set.  "I don't know if I've ever had any faith," he began.  "Time
 Lords aren't brought up to have faith, nor are they sanguine about risks.  They're only taught 
that taking chances brings inevitable consequences, never that it can also bring unforeseen 
rewards.  They're carefully molded to shield themselves from the universe, to shut themselves
 away on an isolated planet and keep all outcomes to a preset minimum.  They're taught safety,
 and they're taught prudence, and they're taught that the quickest way to betrayal and anarchy
 is through trust."  He stood then and faced her eye to eye.  "But I've never kept much to 
anything Time Lords are taught," he said.  "I've never had anything worth risking before.  
I've never had to take such a personal leap of faith, and it scares me."  He reached out then 
and cupped her face decisively in his hands.  "But I can deal with fear, and I can accept the 
uncertainty, because nothing that could ever happen to us is worth losing you.  I'll risk it, and
 the one thing I have faith in now is that I love you."
	She smiled and let out a half-sob, half-laugh as she threw her arms about him and they 
held each other tightly.  "Well, that's out of the way," she said shakily.  "I'm glad we got that
 cleared up."
	"Agreed," he said into her shoulder. 
	"Best to get it over with," she said, drawing back.  "So does this constitute a commitment?"
	"Yes, it does."
	"So we're stuck with each other then."
	"Looks that way."  They gazed at each other for a moment and then embraced again, and 
she leaned in to whisper in his ear.
	"So take me to bed or lose me forever," she said, grinning.  She'd always wanted to say that.
	"I beg your pardon?" he said, chuckling.
	"Oh, I guess you didn't see that movie either," she said.
	"No, it seems I didn't.  But I certainly don't want to lose you forever."  He grasped her
 hand and they headed out of the dining room, walking casually at first, then she walked a 
little faster, then he did, then she walked faster still, and so on until by the time they reached 
their suite they were practically running.  The Doctor unlocked their door and they all but fell
 through it into the spacious suite overlooking the main cavern.  They kissed and touched each 
other with the easy passion of two people still enjoying the novelty of their relationship.  "Are
 we going to try for the bedroom?" he managed, making as if to move in that direction.
	"Who needs it?" she said, grabbing his arms and knocking his legs out from underneath 
him with an expertly placed leg sweep.  They both thumped to the plushly carpeted floor.
	"Certainly not I," he said, after which all conversation became irrelevant.


	The shuttle van pulled up into the Departures dropoff area of Los Angeles International 
Airport.  A man in a bus company uniform went to the rear doors and pulled out a leather 
satchel which he handed to the woman getting out of the van.  She blended smoothly into the
 hipster L.A. traveling set wearing all black; opaque hose, flare-heeled pumps, and a short 
vinyl coat belted about the waist which covered her other garments.  Tortoiseshell sunglasses
 hid her eyes beneath a short-cropped brush of brown hair, barely long enough to show its 
wave.  She looked about briefly, then leaned into the van once more, ostensibly to pick up her
 purse.
	"Where do you want us?" a low voice asked her.
	"Round back by the luggage pickup," she said just as low, her painted lips barely moving.
  "Keep a low profile.  If you see them, don't make a move until I give the word," she said, her
 voice one accustomed to giving orders.  She feigned searching for her airline tickets as she 
gave final instructions to the other occupants of the van:  two men, one middle aged and one 
college aged, and neither of them apparently paying any attention to her.  "Do you have the tracker?"
	"Yes sir," the college guy answered.  
	"Seargeant, you don't have to call me sir, I'm not an officer."
	"Whatever you say, sir.  Will the tracker work with all the radio interference around here?"
	The woman's lips twitched ever so slightly.  "Seargeant, a device like that once helped a 
friend of mine track a time traveler to within ten feet from two hundred light years.  It worked 
for him, it shouldn't give us too much trouble."  With that, she turned and strode confidentally
into the terminal, her satchel swung casually over her shoulder.
	Seargeant Howe blew air through his teeth.  Their team leader sure did say weird stuff at
 times but she knew what she was talking about.


	Theo was lounging in a chaise in the corner staring at the ceiling when Space, her usual 
agitated overexerted self, scurried up to her.  "How much longer is this going to take?  It's 
been two days and you said it wouldn't take very long so what I want to know is when we can 
expect some results!" she demanded, the words tumbling out of her mouth like a slot-machine 
jackpot.
	Theo examined her fingernails casually.  "Patience."
	"I don't know why you don't just force the situation.  Make him land there, you could do 
that.  You could just sort of persuade the TARDIS to land in the right spot and that would speed 
things up a bit, why can't you just do that?"
	"He'd get suspicious."
	"How can you possibly be sure he'll find them?  I mean it's a big universe and they're just
 a measly little team and not even your guardians can keep track of them all the time and who
 knows what they're planning?  Can you even be sure at all?"
	"I'm sure."
	"This is insane.  Have you any idea what'll happen if he gets too close to them?  It's not 
going to take them too long to figure out who he is and with all of them there together it could 
be too much for him!"
	"I hope so."
	Space paused a second, her mile-a-minute thoughts spinning.  "Oh, I get it.  But what 
about Banner, I mean she said that she'd taken care of it and that could be enough to hold it off
 and that really screws things up, geez why'd you let her do that I mean couldn't you have 
stopped her?"
	Theo's head slowly swiveled over to look at the fidgety Eternal.  "Space, I'd advise you
 not to ask me any more questions."
	"Okay, okay, no need to get all snippy about it, geez you're such a beast to everyone I 
mean just because...okay, I'm going."  She scurried back the way she'd come.  Theo sighed and
 resumed her study of the ceiling.


	Afterwards, the two travelers lay in bed (having made it there eventually) back to front,
 not talking much.  His arms encircled her from behind and she felt safe, a feeling that was 
foreign to her but very welcome.  Ace couldn't believe she wasn't falling right to sleep.  After
 all the walking and that huge dinner, not to mention the after-dinner exertion, she should be 
exhausted.
	She smiled to herself as a question she'd wondered about from time to time occurred to 
her again.  "Do Time Lords normally do this?"
	"Do what?"
	She slapped at his arm playfully.  "You know.  This."
	"Oh, that.  Not often, I shouldn't think.  When the mood strikes them.  You know that Time 
Lord children come off the Loom."
	"Yeah.  But humans, at least, don't just do it to have children."
	"Quite so.  Somehow I can't envision most of the Time Lords with whom I am acquainted 
ever being in the mood, so to speak.  Then again Time Lords do marry and such.  I don't suppose
 such unions are platonic.  What I should really say is that I'm not entirely sure.  I'm not the 
foremost authority on Time Lord social habits, having been away from the entire dog-and-pony
 show for most of my life."
	"What about you?" she asked, rolling over to face him.  "Who was Ms. Two Hundred and
 Fifty years ago?"
	"Can't you guess?"
	"Romana," she said.  It was not a question.
	"Yes."
	"Well, she was a Time Lord.  There you go."
	"True, but she'd been subject to my scandalous influence for far too long to be any kind 
of indicator as to what Time Lords normally do."
	"Did you love her?" Ace asked.  She'd always been terribly curious about this entire 
topic and now finally she was in a position where she had a right to ask.
	He sighed.  "You're not jealous, are you?"
	"No, just curious.  Why should I be jealous?"
	"I don't know, but all observations indicate that human women can be irrational when it 
comes to things like this."
	"Yeah, well, I'm hardly a typical human woman."
	"That's one way to put it."
	"You're trying to change the subject."
	"No I'm not, *you* asked why you should be jealous."
	"You were saying about Romana?"
	"Right.  We were very close, we were good friends.  As to why it went farther, I can't
 really say.  We were both Time Lords, I suppose we found each other attractive, and you might
 say that one thing led to another."
	"Lemme guess...you loved her but you weren't *in* love with her."
	"Very succinct."
	"What a cliche."
	"Well, things don't become cliches unless they get a lot of use, and they get a lot of use 
because they're true."
	She smiled and nestled her head down on his shoulder.  "Okay, what about before her?"
	"Oh crumbs, I suppose now you want the entire history."
	"When people get together on Earth they must have this conversation at some point, it's 
like one of those Laws of Relationships, and you're not going to weasel your way out of it."
	"There's not much else to tell."
	"You must have been married or something.  Where did Susan come from, the sky?"
	He laughed.  "No, the Loom.  I was never married, but Susan was a member of my family, 
that much is certain, and she was one generation removed from me, that much is also certain.  
When she was a child, she really took a liking to me and I to her.  We spent so much time together
 that she began to call me Father.  I told her that wasn't terribly accurate, and I suggested she 
think of me as her grandfather.  She liked that a lot."  He sighed again.
	"You really miss her, don't you?"
	"Yes, I do.  When I first met you, you reminded me a lot of her."
	Ace pushed back.  "Uh oh...that's a little too much kinkiness for me!"
	"Well you don't anymore, for heaven's sake!  She was never in Spacefleet, nor did she 
ever wear battle armor, nor could she break me in half if the mood struck her!  Besides, it was
 just your spirit that reminded me of Susan, nothing else."
	She relaxed.  "Well, I guess it's all right then.  I wonder what she'd think about this."
	"I'd love for you to meet her.  I'd love for you to meet all my old friends and companions."
	"Well, let's visit them!  We do have a time and space machine, remember?"
	He considered for a moment, then reached out and gently smoothed her hair.  "Yes, I think
 I'd like that.  I think I would like them to know."  Then his face went serious and he appeared to
 be thinking.  "And while we're on the subject, I've been thinking that there's something I want 
you to know...about me."
	Ace swallowed hard.  "What is it?" she said, getting that cold feeling in her stomach.
	He shook his head.  "I don't quite know how to say it.  I've never told anyone this before." 
 Ace twined her fingers in his and nodded for him to continue.  "Susan may have come off the
Loom...but I did not."
	"Can Time Lords bear children if they choose to?"
	"Ace, my mother was not a Time Lord.  She..."  He paused.  "She was human."
	Ace stared at him.  "Is that it?  That you're half-human?"
	"Yes."
	She exhaled sharply and hugged him, planting kisses all over his face.  "Oi, I thought it 
was going to be something really earth-shattering and terrible!"
	"Well...but I...isn't that earth-shattering enough?"
	"Doctor, I could give a git if you're half-human or half-guacamole or half-bloody-Dalek, 
as long as you're you.  What did you think, that this would somehow shock and scandalize me?"
	"Apparently it was scandalous enough on Gallifrey way back when I was born."
	"We're not *on* Gallifrey, and that was a long time ago.  Did they hold it against you?" 
 Her blood boiled at the thought that he could have been subject to that kind of bigotry as a 
defenseless child...but it sure would explain a few things.
	"In subtle ways.  Gallifreyans are a very ancient species and their genes are quite dominant,
 ergo I'm no different than any other Time Lord physically.  I was brought up as a Time Lord, 
I went to the Academy, I went through all the ceremonies and meaningless pomp and circumstance,
 but I always felt as though less was expected of me because my blood was somehow thinner."
	"And how many times have you saved their skinny little holier-than-thou butts?"
	He grinned at her, more grateful than he could have expressed that she was so unfazed by 
this revelation.  "Once or twice."  They laughed together at that gross understatement.  "So this
 really doesn't bother you?  It doesn't change anything?"
	"Would you like me to prove it?" she said, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
	"I'm sure there's a proper response to that, provocative yet enthusiastic but at the same
 time gentlemanly, but I'm dashed if I can think of it."
	"That's all right, I'll take that as a 'yes.'"


	She sat in one of the noncomfortable LAX airport chairs at a gate belonging to an airline 
she had no intention of flying with.  She appeared to be reading a magazine but what she was 
really doing was watching the readout of her well-hidden tracker on the LED display mounted 
inside her sunglasses.  So far the signal hadn't so much as twitched.
	Damn it, she thought, this has *got* to be the right place.  The trouble with terrorists 
was that they didn't publish their schedules in Bradshaw, especially *these* terrorists who 
could show up not only wherever but also whenever they chose.  Not for the first time, she 
wished for a police box so she could follow them around in time and not just in space.


	The TARDIS doors opened and two thoroughly soaked, barely recognizable people stumbled
 through to collapse on the floor, exhausted.
	"Whitewater rafting, indeed," the Doctor managed, coughing.
	"Hey, you thought it was a good idea at the time too," Ace said, hauling herself to her feet.
	"Famous last words," he moaned.  "I think I've lost all feeling on the right side of my body."
	"Admit it, you had fun," she said, peeling off her plaid flannel shirt and dropping it on the 
floor with a wet squelch.
	"Fun?  Roller coasters are fun.  Poker is fun.  Siegfried and Roy are fun.  This was like...
like being tumble dried in a dryer full of freezing water."
	"Let's not forget whose brilliant idea it was to do this on the Racktze River's Gorge of 
Death...and then managed to land during a cold snap!"
	"Now the weather is my fault?!?"
	"Come on, you," she said, grasping his ankle and dragging him across the floor towards 
the corridor like a wet sack of potatoes.  "Let's draw a hot bath and just crawl in and lie there
 until our fingers get all pruny."
	"I can't make it.  Just leave me here to shrivel.  Save yourself, don't worry about me,
 I've had a full life."
	"Listen to this crap!  He can face Cybermen and vampires and God knows what else but 
when it comes to a little rushing water he folds!  So we capsized a few times..."
	"A few!  Try seven!"
	"Yeah, good thing for those tethers, wot?  Come on, get up, I can't drag you the whole 
way."  He lay there for a moment and then with a burst of energy got to his feet.  The two 
bedraggled would-be adventurers stood in the hallway supporting each other for a moment a
nd then trudged on down the hall.
	They made it to the spa room, where Ace filled the big tub with steaming water and they
 both collapsed into it, fully clothed.  
	After a few blissful moments submerged in warmth, Ace spoke.
	"Well, that was an experience.  But come on, it was pretty fun."
	"All right, it was fun.  Are you happy now?"
	"Yes.  So...do you want to start visiting people now?"
	"Um...no, I don't think so.  There's one more place I want to take you first.  But...it 
requires that I ask you something frankly."
	"Okaaaay..."
	"Do you think people on Earth in, say, the 1990's would find it strange to see us together?"
	Her brow creased.  "Why would they find it strange?"
	"Well, there's a wee bit of difference in our ages."
	She laughed.  "Just a smidge!  But no, really.  In human terms you appear at the most 45, 
and I'm 34...and I've been taken for older, sorry to say.  No one will think anything of it, and 
I'm too old and not blonde enough let alone not busty enough to qualify as a trophy wife.  And 
since when have you cared one whit what anyone else thinks?"
	"I haven't in the past, but this is different."
	"How different?"
	"It just is.  I can't explain it."
	Shrugging, she lazily turned over and threw one arm across him, laying her head tiredly
 on his shoulder.  "So I can guess we're going to 1990's Earth?" she said, sleepy.
	"Yes."
	"Mm...okay."
	"You'd better get out before you fall asleep in here."  He managed to stand and help her up
.  She sat down on the edge of the tub decking to undo her braid as he stepped out and went to
 put on dry clothes.
	When he returned, feeling much more himself, she was sitting slumped in one of the wing
 chairs, wrapped in a robe with a towel around her hair, fast asleep.  Smiling, he went over 
and picked her up as gently as he could so as not to wake her.  His hearts swelled a little at 
the trusting way her arms immediately went around his neck.  He laid her on the bed, removing
 the towel and tucking the covers around her sleeping form.  He sat on the edge for a moment, 
just looking down at her peaceful face, wondering why he'd resisted this for so long when it 
brought him so much joy.  *That's* probably why you resisted it, said his little inner voice. 
 Rassilon forbid you should be happy or content or in any way fulfilled.  Well, Rassilon be 
damned, he thought to himself.  I can love her and still be myself.


	Some time later Ace came into the console room, her hair an impressive tangled mess 
and still wrapped in her robe, but smiling and appearing rested.  She kissed him softly.
	"Good morning," she said.
	"Is it?"
	"I just got up, therefore it's morning."
	"I can't argue with that logic."  She sat down in the club chair in the corner.
	"Did you see that?"
	"See what?" he asked, looking around. 
	"That very casual, perfectly normal kiss good morning."
	"What about it?" he said, bemused.
	"I think we're getting used to this."
	"Is that a good thing?"
	She nodded, yawning.  "Yes.  It means we're comfortable."
	"You certainly look comfortable.  Have a good sleep?"
	"Yes, but I'm terrifically sore.  It'll pass."
	"I'll give you a shot of nannites, that'll help."
	"That's okay, it's really nothing."  She curled her legs up underneath her and began 
attacking her hair with a brush she produced from the pocket of her robe.  "Where are we off to?"
	He regarded the rising time rotor.  "We're on our way to New York City."
	"Oh, I've never been there!"
	"It's quite something.  As Americans often say, nice place to visit but I wouldn't want 
to live there.  But we're just visiting.  And it can be very romantic."
	"You really are just a big pile of mush at heart, aren't you?"
	He leaned up against the console, grinning shamefacedly.  "It certainly seems so."
	"What are we going to do there?"
	"You'll see.  We're landing in 1992, in September.  After the over-the-top 80's but 
before the downsized 90's had really gotten rolling."
	"The old stomping grounds, at least temporally."
	"Ah, yes.  The timestorm was 1988, wasn't it?  Good.  Um...what I have in mind calls 
for fancier clothes than either of us are used to."
	"So?  We'll dig something up."
	He was a little taken aback.  "All right, then.  It's just that there was a time when you 
would have rather died than dress for the occasion."
	"Doctor, you seem to keep forgetting that I'm not 19 anymore.  I don't need to traipse 
around in Doc Martens all the time to prove how tough I am.  I can be tough on the inside and 
look smashing on the outside, after all.  Not to mention that I got rather used to frocks in France."
	He nodded.  "You're right of course, I'm sorry."
	"Then I'll go see what I can find in the wardrobe room.  How fancy are we talking about 
here?"
	"Well, I'll finally get to wear a tuxedo that's been gathering dust for about ten years."
	Ace grinned.  "Wicked," she said, winking as she swished out the door.


	The TARDIS materialized in a remote corner of the closed Metropolitan Museum of Art.  
The Doctor checked the coordinates and the date, then turned away from the viewscreen, 
adjusting his tie in the mirror.  He felt a tickle of uncharacteristic nervousness, hoping the 
evening would go off without a hitch.  He was constantly surprising himself with strange 
emotions which kept cropping up.  Now, for instance, he felt like a teenager coming round to
 pick up his date for the senior prom.  The image made him smile...hardly a fitting way for a 
1000 year old Time Lord to be behaving.  If Romana could see me now she'd laugh until she 
split, he thought.  He didn't seem to be able to stop fidgeting.  He straightened his waistcoat.
 Lucky for him one didn't have to be built like Adonis to carry off a tuxedo.  The perfect
 cut of the suit even complemented his scrawny frame.
	"Look at you," said Ace from behind him.  "I never would have believed it."
	He turned and for the first time in his memory, his jaw dropped in surprise.  "Oh my," 
he managed to say.  
	She grinned.  "I guess that says it all."  She'd been a little unsure about the dress but
 the look on his face erased all doubts.  It was a simple silver floor-length gown with a 
straight skirt and spaghetti straps.  She'd dug up a white wrap to go with it and a diamond 
choker she'd found in a big tangle with a bunch of other necklaces.  Feeling more than a little 
silly, she'd put her hair up and was even wearing makeup.  Oh well, she'd thought, it would 
be worth it for a really posh evening of conspicuous consumption, which would be a new 
experience for her.
	The Doctor finally got his mouth closed and pulled himself together.  "I would say that 
you look beautiful, but it wouldn't do you justice."
	She smiled back.  "And you look very handsome in that tuxedo.  Armani?"
	"Hugo Boss.  He gave it to me in '98.  Never thought I'd have a reason to wear it."
	She laughed.  "Silly me.  So where are we going that we need to be dressed like a 
couple of debutantes?"
	He opened the TARDIS doors and offered her his arm.  "We're going to a place known as 
the Rainbow Room."


	The maitre d' treated them with the reserved courtesy he'd use for anyone, until the
 Doctor discreetly showed him a small business card, after which his attitude changed 
dramatically.
	"Oh, Doctor, of course...I'm so sorry.  Right this way, please follow me," he said, almost
 falling over himself to show them to a table.  They followed him, both of them biting their 
lips to keep from laughing.  It was a marvelous table, right by the windows with a spectacular view.
	And so the evening passed.  They didn't argue, they didn't get into a heavy discussion, 
they didn't worry about Theo or Seth, and they didn't talk about the future or the past.  They
 enjoyed the view, they enjoyed champagne on the house, which surprised Ace but apparently
 did not surprise the Doctor, they enjoyed the fact that others in the room kept looking over 
at them and wondering who they were to get the best table and gratis Dom Perignon.  Most of 
all they enjoyed each other.  They held hands across the table, they made meaningless 
conversation that was somehow very meaningful, and they said a lot...although much of it 
was said without the help of words.  The mellow jazz ensemble played in the background, 
people came and went, and the maitre d' often looked over at them and seemed pleased with
 himself.  It was like a bubble of time outside the rest of their lives where no one or nothing
 could touch them, and neither of them wanted it to end...although they both knew that the 
bubble would burst and they'd have to reenter the uncertain universe where things weren't 
always so magical.
	When the Doctor stood and asked her to dance, Ace was surprised.
	"I thought you didn't dance!"
	"On special occasions."
	"Well, I'm not very good at it."
	"Of course you are," he said, pulling her to her feet.  She was even more surprised to
 find that he was right, and more surprised still to find that he was also good at it.  They 
danced for a long time, holding each other, as the band played and other people swirled 
around them like currents and eddies in the ocean.  Finally the band took a break, and they
 started to head back to their table, but suddenly Ace stopped.
	"Doctor...let's go to the Empire State Building!"
	He smiled.  "Why?"
	"I want to ride the elevator all the way to the top and stand on the balcony and see 
everything....and well, it has this kind of romantic mystique, mostly because of..."
	"I understand completely, Ace...that's one movie that I *did* see."  He made a small 
signal to the maitre d', who immediately brought their coats.


	Twenty minutes later they stood on the observation deck of the Empire State Building, 
which was almost deserted, it being close to closing time.  The Doctor stood a little way 
back and watched her, standing at the edge, her arms flung wide.
	"Look at that view!  The city may have its problems, but it sure is beautiful at night." 
 She walked slowly along the railing, trailing her fingers across the metal guardrails.  She
 turned and held out a hand to him.  He walked up to her and draped her wrap around her 
shoulders...the night air was chilly.  She slipped her arms around his waist and he did the
 same.  "This has been an amazing evening.  I didn't realize Lifestyles of the Rich and
Famous could be so much fun."
	"I'm glad.  I wanted it to be perfect."  He ran his hands along her upper arms.  "Dorothy
...there's something I'd like to talk to you about but I scarcely dare."
	She cocked her head to one side.  "Why not?"
	"I'm afraid to spoil the mood."
	She looked in his eyes and then away.  She disengaged herself and went to look out over
the Hudson River.  "I told you not to ask me to marry you, Doctor."
	"But why?"
	"I told you why!"
	He walked up to stand beside her.  "I know you did.  Now tell me the real reason."
	She stared at him for a moment and then shook her head, smiling ruefully.  "Damn you, 
you know me too well."  She turned away, but not in a dismissive way.  "I promised myself 
a very long time ago that I'd never be anyone's wife.  Being someone's wife means you're 
their property, their personal slave, the one to do all the work and get none of the credit.  
It means you're the one to get left home alone while your husband goes out and battles the 
world, you're the one to get dumped for some chippie when you hit 40, you're the one that
 loses your identity as a person and just becomes so-and-so's wife.  Not me, thank you."
	"Do you really think that's how it would be for us?"
	She turned.  "No!  Of course not!  But that's not the only thing.  What's the point?  I mean,
 what is a marriage?  It's an agreement to share yourself with someone, to stay with them and
 love them and become part of them...but don't we already have that?  Haven't we been over 
this already?"
	"Yes, we already have that, so I don't see why you're so dead set against it!"
	"Why are you so all-fired *for* it, then, if we already have it?"
	They both fell silent, realizing they'd reached an impasse.  She sighed and walked up to him,
 grasped one of his hands in both of hers, and pressed it to her heart.  "Doctor...aren't we 
already married in our hearts?  Haven't we already made those promises to each other?  We've
 spent twenty years working out the snags, and now we've finally got a relationship we can 
live with and that makes us happy.  Will declaring that before some official make it any more 
real?  Will signing a piece of paper make it any more lasting?"
	He felt the sting of tears.  "No, it won't.  Maybe you're right.  It's not the piece of paper 
or the proclamations of some minister I want, you know I don't hold much to those formalities. 
 I just...I feel like I want to, I don't know...you've got me confused now."
	She smiled and blinked away tears of her own.  "I do understand.  You want the comfort 
of vows, and someone's blessing."
	He looked up at her, amazed.  "That's it, that's it exactly."
	She led him to the railing and grasped both his hands, and looking directly into his eyes 
spoke with calm conviction.  "Then listen closely.  My name is Dorothy McShane, and upon 
my honor I promise to respect you, and be true to you, and protect you with my life.  I love 
you with everything I am, and I wish to join my life with yours.  Do you promise those things 
as well, and do you have the same wish?"  He nodded, unable to speak and totally in awe of 
her strength.  "Good.  Then look up," she said, pointing straight to the sky.  "What do you see?"
	"I see the universe," he said hoarsely.  "I see the stars and the planets."	
	"Then they will be our witnesses, and they will bless our union...for it is them that 
brought us together, and they who will see our future."  She looked at him, still looking 
upwards.  "There."  He met her eyes again, his face a mask of childlike wonder...then it 
creased into a smile and he squeezed her hands.  "Now we're married, Doctor.  We can make 
our own future...as we've made our own past."  He pulled her close and they kissed passionately
 to seal their promises.


*****************
No earthly church has ever blessed our union
No state has ever granted us permission
No family bond has ever made us two
No company has ever earned commission
No debt was paid no dowry to be gained
No treaty over border land or power
No semblance of the world outside remained
To stain the beauty of this nuptial hour
No flowers on the altar, no white veil in your hair
No maiden dress to alter, no bible oath to swear
The secret marriage vow is never spoken,
The secret marriage never can be broken.		--Sting
*****************


	The Eternal called Universe observed this tender scene with approval, a smile on his 
beatific face.
	"The universe does bless your union, my friends, and is glad for it.  Peace to you 
both."  He held up a hand and the Glass went dark, and he returned to his seat at Theo's desk.


	They walked back to the museum hand in hand, quiet.  
	"You know," he said pensively, "what we've just done would be considered legal by 
thousands of civilizations, including many here on Earth."
	"Of course.  There's no reason it shouldn't be.  The notion that the state or other official
 body must approve a marriage has always struck me as more than a little silly."
	"And we bow to no authorities, right?" he said grandly.
	"Right!" she exclaimed, raising a fist.
	"I wish I'd *said* something," he said sheepishly.  "I just stood there like an idiot and you
 did all the work."
	"A nice switch from how your companions usually feel," she chided him.  "I was speaking 
for both of us, I think."
	He paused then and looked up at the sky, a strange look on his face...as if he were hearing
 distant voices.  He turned back to her.  "Let's take a trip to celebrate."
	She laughed.  "Isn't that what we're doing?"
	"Yes, but before it was only similar to a honeymoon.  Now it can really be one."
	"Where do you want to go?"
	"Do you have any requests?"
	She smiled and shook her head.  "Anywhere, I'm out of ideas."
	"How about...Los Angeles?"  Why did that city pop into mind, he wondered to himself.
	"Great!  They always said I oughta be in pictures."


	The team leader's jaw ground as the minutes ticked by.  No sign of the men she was sure 
were here somewhere, and yet the signal from her tracker was still flat.  The clock was 
running out on this operation, and she was no closer to a solution than she'd been months ago. 
 She'd be damned if she'd let the sun go down on her investigation without making the collar.
	She stood and moved to the bank of pay phones to contact her team.  It was just a formality,
 she was sure that the targets hadn't somehow slipped past her, and if Seargeant Howe had them
 he would have notified her immediately.  She dialed the number, frustration running its sharp 
fingernails around the inside of her skull.


	The TARDIS materialized in a dark corner of the luggage handling area under LAX Terminal
 C.  Ace and the Doctor emerged from the dark bowels of the airport to the welcome California 
sunshine and darted up the stairs into the terminal, carrying bags and looking for all the world
like normal travelers.
	"Why did we land here?" she asked.
	"You've never been here, have you?"
	"No, why?"
	"There's not a square inch of this city where I could leave the TARDIS unnoticed.  I figured
 the best procedure would be to start from where most travelers start.  We'll stay in a hotel 
and leave the TARDIS here."
	They made their way down the moderately busy concourse.  Ace's attention was drawn by
 a striking woman wearing all black talking intently into a pay phone.  She seemed really familiar.
  The woman hung up and began rummaging in her purse.  Ace put out a hand and stopped the Doctor. 
 "Doctor...that woman in black at the phones there."
	"What about her?" he said, not looking.  
	"Does she look familiar to you?"
	He looked up and his eyes widened.  "My God...it's Tegan!"