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Blonde Goddess Defense League

What the hell am I talking
about? Read on...
In the fall of 1996, the world
met someone who's become one of the most despised and, as a result, most misunderstood
people to come along in a long time. The person to whom I'm refering is none other than
the lovely Miss Marita Covarubbias. She works at the United Nations as the assistant to
the SRSG (Special Representative to the Secretary General), and Agent Fox Mulder was
referred to her in the final living act of his previous informant, known only as X. Since
her first appearance, between the ambiguous manner in which she might have seemed to act
and the way she pronounces certain sounds in the English language, she's become almost
universally hated. However, I've found that I'm in a very small minority in not only my
willingness to give her a chance, but also in my seeing her as a possible ally rather than
an enemy.
By the way, this is all in
regards to The X-Files and its increasingly convoluted mythology. If you don't
watch the show, it's not too late - reruns are now in syndication on the FX cable channel
as well as on local TV stations. If you do watch the show, then I've probably already made
an enemy of you. After all, Marita, A.K.A. "The Uniblonder", "The
Unblonde", "The Peroxided One" ,and a host of other epithets, instantly
dethroned Alex "give him a hand" Krycek to become the most hated occasionally
recurring character on the show.
Why defend this woman, you ask?
The following are a few reasons, although there are plenty more.
 |
You
can count on her to unlock her door in the middle of the night if you need last-minute
information before hastily leaving the country. |
 |
She
can get you a black helicopter at any hour - just the thing for all your commuting needs.
|
 |
If
you find yourself running out, she always has an ample supply of bleach, peroxide, and
many other multi-purpose products on hand. |
 |
She
would be a valuable resource to both sound effects technicians and to aspiring speech
therapists. |
 |
Face
it - she's |
For those of you who refuse to
accept this in spite of all reason, against my better judgment I refer you to the MCMC,
the Marita Covarrubias Murder Consortium. Don't ask me - they're good people otherwise,
although in this one aspect they're obviously a bunch of poor misguided souls, but
hopefully they'll come to their senses and see the error of their ways eventually.
However, if you can see beyond the rumors, the sinister (and most
certainly erroneous) interpretations of her actions, and the "S" sounds, head on
over to the FBI's Most Unwanted
(FMU) board and make a post headed with "In
defenssssse of Marita", and tell us why you're willing to defend her. Be warned -
this is not for the faint of heart. Our headquarters is right next door to that of the
MCMC, and we're sure to be vastly outnumbered. I've heard scattered support for her in the
past, but it's high time we marshalled this support into a coordinated anti-anti-Marita
force.
Feel like living dangerously?

Big news! The lady herself knows about us! Don't believe it? Take a look at this interview with actress Laurie Holden (Marita herself) from Another Universe, in which she mentions us by name.



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