These people are weird. And horny. And fun! Admittably, those were the thoughts going through my head as I read the first few emails from the Denubian Tales mailing list. And a few days later, said first opinions had only been reinforced. And now someone was tapping on my shoulder.

"Bug off-ULP! Prince Lotor?!"

He frowned at me. This did not bode well."You're overweight."

That did it. I was mad. I stood up, and surprise of surprises, I was taller than he was! I grinned evilly at him. "And what does that have to do anything?"

He frowned at me again, giving me the once over again. Ghee, why did I suddenly feel like a hunk of meat he had decided to buy?

"You'll do."

"I'll do what?!"Without answering, he grabbed my shoulder, and the next thing I knew, we weren't in my room anymore.

#################

Columns. Gauzy draperies. Huge, deep, heated pools set into the floor. Lots and lots of large, soft, brightly colored silk cushions. Man-slaves. Manymanymany cans of whipping cream. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY BRINGING ME HERE??!?!" Sometimes I take pride in being a wide-range soprano. When I want loud and high-pitched, I can do it.

Lotor rubbed the side of his head."Only in that most of my harem has come down ill with colds and a rather nasty flu."

"Oh."

"And since you are quite adapt in medical matters. I leave this to you." With that, he stormed out the door, leaving me with all the ill harem members.

"Erk . . . How am I going to deal with all this??"

----------

Well, I hope not too bad for a first attempt, neh? Any and all commentary is welcome.

~Doctor Sarah
(fanfic) My first meeting with Cossack (part 1)

"Ok, now if you stay off that leg for a few days as well as keeping it
propped up, and taking care afterwards, you should have no problem."
Med labs, no matter what planet, all suffer from the same thing. Lack of
supplies, lack of trained medical personnel, lack of volunteers to help
with the grunt work. I was in the main medical compound of the Royal
palace, helping take care of the sudden flood of minor injuriues, colds,
flus and cases of pneumonia common to the first frost of the long Doom
winter. After sending the young idiot warrior on his way, someone tapped
on my shoulder. It was one of the few remaining female nurses in the main
med lab.
"Umm . . . Doctor, I was wondering . . . ummm-"
"If you could transfer to my section?"
She gave me a brilliant smile. Not too bad looking, but not too obviously
pretty. Pleasant. Good. With Lotor's appetite, her lack of dazzling
looks would keep her a nurse and not a harem occupant.
"Yes, Doctor. I do want to transfer to your section."
"Why?"
"Exc-cuse m-me?"
"Why do you want to transfer? I have had almost every female nurse in the
entire compound request a transfer to my section. I've had a lot of males
request, but in most cases, their reason is obvious. I already have a full
crew. Is there a particular reason that lets you stand out, or do you just
want out of here?"
Before she could reply, one of the patients pinched her rear, causing her
to shriek and move to slap the jerk. I grabbed onto her wrist.
"Come now, it's not proper to slap the patients."
Her shoulders slumped.
"I know . . . it's just that they keep doing it! And it's not just the
patients! The doctors act like sex starved maniacs!"
"Hmmm . . . well you can do this."
I pulled out a hypodermic need and injected something into the
rump-pinching patient's arm, easily keeping him pinned to the bed.
"W-what?!"
"Local anesthetic. Strap him down, nurse, until the anesthetic wears off."
However, said patient's commanding officer saw all of this, and stomped
over.
"What the hell are you doing, woman?!"
Great, another Drule male that is shorter than I am. Gee, even fish face
can't stare me in the eyes. On that note, where's this guy's pupils? His
eyes are solid yellow! Seems to see me quite clearly though.
"Making sure the Nurses can do their jobs."
"By filling my men with who knows what evil medications?!!"
"They can't work if they're getting goosed all the time."
"That does not excuse your injecting whatever that was into one of my
soldiers! It is the doctor's responsibility to make sure the nurses are
doing their jobs."
"The doctors in here are just as bad!! And just what do you think I am?"
"A human witch."
That's it. I'd kept a lease on my temper long enough. I went for his neck.

(part 2)
The nurse shook her head at me, much more relaxed now that we were out of
the main med labs and into the harem medic area. Specifically, in my
office. She put the ice bag on my swollen knee, which had bruised up a
lovely shade of purple. I didn't even wanna guess what color the lump on
my head was now.
"I still can't believe you went after him . . . and that they had to pull
you off of him."
"Eh, give the patients a show, who cares. By the way, what's your name?"
"Ellnika. Where did you learn to fight like that?"
"High school."
"I'm sorry?"
"Human society has many levels of education. High school is roughly about
the late teens."
"But what would school have to do with fighting?"
"Actually very little. It's just that I was often the target of bullies
despite my height and I had to learn how to fight quickly or keep coming
home beaten up. After a year or two, they wouldn't dare tangle with me
because I would dish out more abuse than they would. Finally took formal
lessons after I got outta high school and started College. Wouldn't do for
the army or anything, but just fine for a brawl."
I looked at her consideringly. She was a good nurse, and there were more
man-slaves than my regular crew could handle . . .
"Ellnika, I have a possiblity for you. I can't pull you from the main medic
lab, they're too short on hands and I have a full crew already, but I can
arrange for some of my nurses to give you the training I've given them
already. And, I could use your help when it comes to treating the
man-slaves."
I watched her think that over.
"But how would the extra training help me?"
"Heh, soldiers tend to respect those who are as strong, or stronger, than
they are. The training I suggest is partialy combat training, some
subterfudge, and a few other things to help with those rump-pinchers. And
with the excuse of helping with the man-slaves, you can come over here more
often."
She thought that over as well, then smiled at me.
"Okay, I'll do it. Thank you, Doctor!"
"No, thank you . . . . by the way, who was that guy?"
"The patient?"
"No, the one currently sporting two black eyes and split lip, along with
many other bruises, and a wrenched wrist."
"That was Cossack, Doctor. Prince Lotor's second in command."

Repercussions . . . Why are men such bozos?
"SARAH!!"
Sigh. Lotor was screaming for me again. I wondered what he wanted this
time. He already knew I wasn't about to hop into bed with him, attractive
as I find him, so what was going on?
He was almost purple with rage when I finally found him in the harem's
largest hot tub, having limped all over the compound . . . or maybe it was
the heat of the hot tub that was giving him that red-purple hue . . . or
possibly what Dom was playing with. Heh. She gave me a cheerful grin and
returned to her fun, not really listening to Lotor and myself talk.
"What do you want, Prince Lotor?"
His scowl got even darker.
"You shall refer to me as 'Master', wench!"
"Ya know, you're very lucky Dom's fond of you. Listen Lotor, I don't call
anybody 'master'. Now state what you want, or I'm leaving to do my job.
I'm still pissed over that bozo I fought two days ago, so don't push your
luck."
He seemed to be counting to ten. The next time he spoke, it was more of a
malicious snarl that a polite tone, but he was trying.
"What I wanted to talk to you about was that fight you picked . . . with my
second in command. I need Cossack in full health, and now he can barely
move about from that pounding you gave him!"
I frowned.
"The konk to the balls is still hurting him? Shouldn't, it's been two
days. For that matter, none of the damage I inflicted was that severe.
Maybe some bruised ribs, but nothing more."
"According to him, you injected something into him . . . something
responsible for his current condition."
I thought back to the fight.
"Phpt! He landed on the blasted hpyo!"
I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing.
"And just what do you find funny about this?"
A snarl. The prince was getting huffy. He is cute when he's mad. Dom was
beginning to watch both of us with an expression that said we were nuts.
"Wait a minute . . . What are you two talking about?"
"I was helping out in the main medic two days ago, and one of the nurses
requested transference to the harem medic unit. Right in the middle her
request, one of the patients, some sort of officer I guess, pinched her
rump. I was already fed up with that type of behavior, and I enjected a
mild local anesthesia into his arm and had the nurse strap the perv to the
table. Cossack, may fleas nest in his groin, saw all this and began
insulting me."
"You lost your patience."
"I went for his throat with lethal . . .well, maiming, intent. Good
fight."
I gestured towards my knee, which was a lovely shade of black-purple-green
and quite visible below the hems of my shorts.
"He did a number on my knee, I blacked both his eyes, he konked me on the
head, I punched him in the mouth and split his lip. I've got more bruises
elsewhere, but I'm not saying. I might have bruised his ribs, but not
likely. He broke the grip before I could really apply much pressure."
I wasn't quite sure if Dom's expression was admiring, you-are-an-idiot,
revolted, or any combination of the three.
"I had a hypodermic needle in my hand when the fight began, and I dropped
it along the way . . . probably so I could punch him in the eye. I guess
he sat upon the hypo, got injected, and later thought I jabbed him
deliberately. He'll be fine in a few days, it was a vaccination."
"And just what was it a vaccination for?"
Lotor was still snarling.
"The Doom version of the measles."
I still don't know why he burst out laughing . . . I don't think Dom knows
either. Oh well, back to work.
-------

Sarah--hehehe...funny stuff... Dom always has all the fun! ;-)
Megan--I would write you a poem of praise as well, but there's no need for me
to embarrass myself...great fic, love the video format. Another fine job.
:-)
Jenn

Anime, blue-skinned hunks, and an annoyance

It had been a fairly slow day in the harem medic, so I gave most of my crew
the day off after a morning spent inoculating the man-slaves . . . and
making sure they were up on their anti-fertility treatments (all the fun,
no chance of getting someone pregnant). Leaving only a skeleton crew (with
plenty of manga for them to read) in the lab, and a warning to stay within
the harem compound, I let my crew loose.
Elkrys and Jubin, my only two male nurses, promptly took to the hot tub,
where Jenn already was trying to relax. After a few seconds all three of
them were in heated discussion, mostly about makeup and clothes, as far as
I could tell. There is a specific reason why I let those two transfer into
the harem medic, and let's leave it at that.
Ellnika, who was with us today, made a beeline for the single N64 unit and
promptly began playing Zelda. My other two female nurses, Kunika and
Yushu, opted to head back into the medic and play monopoly with Humar and
Tessin, who were the skeleton crew. For myself, I conquered the sofa pit
(there wasn't anyone there) and popped one of my favorite series into the
VCR. Lina Inverse's voice began her opening bit as I snuggled back into
the couch cushions, my trusty bag of rubber bands by my side, along with a
6pack of Josta soda.
-----
I was putting in the second tape when I noticed a small, Slayers-loving
audience had joined me. Notably, Samara, Kakyuu Hime, and Valeta, along
with a few befuddled newcomers, Dom, Karen, Prince Lotor himself, and . . .
Cossack?! Deciding it wasn't worth fighting with him yet, I remained
silent and just reclaimed my seat from a sneaky Valeta.
Glancing around the room, Jenn was getting a massage-in-the-hot-tub from
Elkrys and Jubin, Ellnika was still glued to the N64, and the monopoly
game was still going strong in the medic. No emergencies in sight, I
leaned back and watched the tape, enjoying the antics of my favorite
characters and firing rubberbands at the more pathetic or annoying enemies
(and Amelia).
-----
The credits rolled by on the last tape, and every began stretching, a
little stiff from sitting still for so long. It was well past ten o'clock
at night, and about time for the 'shifting of the watch' for my medic crew,
from the day shift to the night shift. I closed my eyes and indulged in a
full-body stretch, probably taking up most of the space between my position
on the couch and the TV. There are disadvantages to being tall . . . not
counting occaisionally sprouting a tail.
"What . . . the . . .HELL . . is THAT?!"
Oops. I opened my eyes to see an annoyed/startled/wary Cossack staring at
the tail laying across his lap. Wait a minute, when did he end up sitting
next to me on the couch?
"My tail, you moron."
I decided what the heck, and relaxed the rest of the spell that kept my
appearance purely human. I was surrounded by a sudden mass exodus from the
sofa pit, except for my medic crew, who already knew what I normally looked
like. I flipped my wings back, retracted my claws, and glared at Lotor.
"What the heck are you startled about?"
He seemed to be stuttering, so Cossack got a reply out first.
"What the FUCK are you, monster?!"
"M-monster?! Just because I have wings, a tail and retractable claws?!?
That's it! You're DEAD MEAT!!"
Aim: Cossacks's throat.
Intent: Maiming with probability of torture.
I've always been a little touchy about guys calling me a monster. *sigh*
------
Anime, blue-skinned hunks, and an annoyance

I guess I'm lucky that I retracted my wings before hitting into Cossack.
As it is, my tail hurts like crazy, and I nearly lost a claw, ripping into
his tough hide.
"YEE-OUCH!"
I made an instinctive, clumsy swipe at Elkrys, who was bandaging the sore
spot on my tail.
"Calm down, boss!"
He yelped, ducking the blow.
"Sorry, Elkrys. Pain makes me crabby."
"Doesn't it do the same to everyone?"
"No. Some people it just makes them whimper, moan, and sometimes scream."
I shared an evil grin with Elkrys, Dom, and Jubin.
Jenn leaned over the chair Lotor was sulking on, giving him a nice view in
the meantimes. That seemed to take care of some of the sulk.
"Doc, just what are you?"
"Well, broken down, I'm about 56% europe/german/american human, 28% mist
dragon, 6% drow, and 10% pure irishman. The irish is where I get my temper
from. So taken collectively, 62% human of extremely mixed lineage."
"Weird."
"You're telling me."
Cossack murmured something to himself, just on the edge of my hearing.
"That would explain it then . . ."
A nasty little suspicion began nudging at the edge of my mind.
"Explain what, Cossack?"
He grew rather flustered and growled at me, not, I noticed, answering the
question. That clinched it.
"You're a sensitive, aren't you?"
Cossack looked away, and he seemed to be blushing slightly. Hard to tell,
with all the bruises on his face.
"A what?!"
That came from Lotor. I guess he had been listening after all.
"It's a version of Psionic ability . . . or of a latent magical ability.
Person can't do any hojo themselves, but, however, can tell when it's
being used around or nearby them. It also lets them sniff out magic-based
creatures, such as dragons, werewolves, robeasts, so forth and so on. And
it lets them know if someone is a descendent/child of one said magic-based
creature."
I gave Cossack a rather cruel grin.
"Like fire ants crawling all over your skin, isn't it?"
He looked out the door, and seemed to be rather embarressed. Huh?
"With you it's more like a soft fur."
"Oh . . . Elkrys, just what the heck are you grinning about?"
"Your face is bright red."
"Is not!"
That brought everyone's attention to me. This time I could feel my cheeks
getting hotter. Whoo boy.
---

Anime, blue-skinned hunks, and an annoyance

Yes, this one is not over yet!
#####
Oh gods, there they go again . . . . Don't they ever sleep? I got up,
knowing that they would be making noise for at least another hour in there.
With my trusty puppy-pillow, blanket, and wham on Elkrys and Jubin's door,
I stumbled out of the medic crew's bedroom complex and into the main room.
"And that type of noise is why I moved out of the scribes bedroom complex.
Ding-dong frazzin' razzin' blue smurfs. Between them and Tamy's Loggan . .
. sigh."
I sulked my way into the sofa pit and began making myself a nest from all
the sofa cushions, three throw blankets, and my trusty puppy-pillow. It
wasn't that hard to fall asleep.
----
A hand was shaking my shoulder.
"Grraahh, hmmuh phpew."
I don't wake easily sometimes. The hand grew more insistent.
"AAAAAKK!!"
Ok, that got me up. I glowered at Cossack, who chuckled.
"I thought that would get you up."
"You do that again and I'll rip your hand off."
"Now, why is the esteemed doctor sleeping out here?"
"It was too noisy in the complex."
He blinked.
"Too noisy?"
"Tamy was playing with her Loggan again. And Elkrys and Jubin were
celebrating Jubin's birthday. Too noisy."
"They're too noisy when you snore like a chainsaw with indigestion?"
"I only snore when I can fall asleep."
"I see."
Damn, he's finding this amusing. I glared at him, and he didn't shrivel up
and die. Phooey.
"Oh, go away."
"Now, I can't do that, leaving the doctor ungaurded."
"I beat you up twice, I think I can handle any invaders."
"Ah, but what would Lotor think of me? Nah, better I stay here . . . unless
you could go back to your room . . ."
"You're not invited there."
He looked disgruntled and a bit disappointed. Damn, he was expecting . . .
never mind.
"Pity."
"Eat worms and die, Cossack."
"And here I was thinking you were beginning to like me."
"Shaddup. I'm going back to sleep."
With that I curled up in my nest and ignored him, pretending to sleep. I
guess it worked, because he laughed softly and moved off to the other side
of the room. How annoying.
-----------