A Harem Tales Christmas Carol - Part 1
(Thanks to Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol" which I took dreadful liberty
with!)
It was that time of year again - Christmas - and the Scribes were preparing
for it with their usual zest. It had become a bit of a tradition since the
Teran Scribes had come and Lotor and the the otherworldly Scribes took to it
as well. It was a wonderful time for them all because of the merrymaking,
giftgiving and the solemnity of the occassion. Yes it was a wonderful time -
except for one thing -

King Zarkon.

Now everyone in the Galaxy knew Zarkon to be a mean, vindictive tyrant who
wanted nothing more than to conquer the galaxy. In the last few years
however, he had set his yellow and jaded gaze upon his son's Harem, the
Scribes. Time and time again he tried to get them all with no success. As a
result of this he hated to see them have any sort of fun unless he was the
receipient of the aforementioned 'fun' - ie: sex!

And so it was that on that day the Scribes were putting up the mistletoe and
the trappings of Christmas cheer that Zarkon slammed open the doors of the
Harem with a scowl on his face.
He saw most of the Scribes up on chairs putting up decorations and the
thought crossed his mind that they were in just the right position for
pinching and groping. However, they knew better and upon seeing his odious
person, immediately jumped down and glared at him.

"Well ladies, I see that you are all decorating for Christmas!" Zarkon leered
at the Scribes.

"Yeah, that's right. What's it to you?" Dom glared back. Christmas was not
going to be spoiled by Mr. Hornytoad this year!

"Why, it is my business, my dears.." He looked up at some of the mistletoe
that had been strung up on the entryways and then looked to see what
delectable Scribes just HAPPENED to be under them. Too late, Tamy and
Michelle looked up and then looked at each other and nimbly leaped away with
a squeak. Zarkon, however was too quick and grabbed them both.

"Ah, ah, my dear wives.." he chuckled.

"We're NOT your wives!" Michelle hit at him.

"Yeah, just because you've thrown every lawyer we brought over here to the
roebeasts!" Tamy kept trying to wriggle out of his grasp.

"Now that's NOT the Christmas spirit!" Zarkon grinned. "If I DO recall,
standing under a mistletoe means you have to have sex with whoever is under
it. That happens to be you two and myself, so let's get to it, my dears!" his
hands eagerly grasped the two.

"That's KISS, you fished faced idiot!" Michelle yelled.

"And we WOULDN'T kiss you for ANYTHING!" Tamy hissed.

"Ah, but you HAVE, my dears!" Zarkon puckered up."Now, let's go, Mr. Happy is
anxious to play!"

Tamy promptly aimed a fist at his mouth and Zarkon recoiled, his lip bleeding.

He let them go and snarled, "All right, if that's the way you want it then
there'll be no Christmas!"

"You can't cancel Christmas!" Gina said.

"Watch me, wench!" Zarkon grinned evily. "I'll make it an official decree. No
Christmas unless.."

"Unless what?" Rosemary dared to ask.

"Unless you all have sex with me! An easy choice!" Zarkon leered.

"A horrible choice!" Gina said. "And if you THINK we're going to put up with
this, you're mistaken, fish-man!"

"Oh but you WILL!" Zarkon snarled again and stomped off. A few moments
later, a legion of Zarkon's guards came in and took all the decorations,
leaving the Harem in a shambles.

"Geez, Lotor will be PISSED when he gets back.." Dom frowned as she kicked
the remains of an broken ornament on the floor.

"Zarkon always pulls this crap when Lotor's away.." Gina scowled angrily.

"Tell me about it!" Michelle tried to straighten up some of the mess.

"Well we just can't let him get away with it!" Tamy said.

"We CAN'T sleep with him! Besides he never keeps his word." Sammie-Ma said as
she started to sweep the remains ot the broken ornaments on the floor.

"Hm, how about the Scrooge treatment?" Tamy said thoughtfully.

"Scrooge treatment?" Gina furrowed her brow.

"Yeah!" Michelle said happily, "A Christmas Carol!"

Gina shook her head. "I say we just go in there and paddle the crap out of
him."

"Nah! This will be more in line with the season!" Tamy said.

"He'd probably enjoy the paddling anyway." Michelle said

"Not when I give them!" Gina said, feeling a bit insulted.

"No offense, Gina!" Michelle said. "You know we CAN do this.. I mean with a
little magic.."

"Magic? What's this about magic?" Hagar suddenly appeared and then looked
around. "What did you do? Have an orgy and didn't invite ME?"

"Y'know.." Tamy said thoughtfully. "She'd be perfect.."

"Hm, yeah..the third spirit!" Michelle grinned.

Hagar stomped her foot inpatiently. "What are you trollops TALKING about?"

"Zarkon cancelled Christmas.." Dom said.

"And we're going to change his mind.." Moonie said.

"WITHOUT having sex!" Rosemary shuddered.

Hagar scowled. "So? Why should I care?"

"Well, see if we don't have Christmas then you won't get that leather
dominatix outfit you wanted - complete with male victim..for FREE.." Tamy
said craftily.

"Free, huh?" Hagar rocked on her heels thinking.

"All you gotta do is some SIMPLE things, nothing hard for such a magnificent
witch such as yourself.." Michelle said.

"Humph. I smell a rat, but.." Hagar scowled.

"Think of it, Hagar! FREE!" Tamy said.

"Hm, throw in two cases of Rasberry joy juice and you got it.." Hagar said.

"You got it!" Michelle said.

And so they plotted..

Subj: A Harem Tales Christmas Carol - Part 2
It was the dead of night on Doom and Zarkon was in his chambers, eating some
supper. He was not in a very good mood this night, for there had been no word
of surrender from the Scribes. Perhaps he should have just simply laid the
law down and took them all. It was his right after all.

Suddenly he heard a howling through the dark walls of his chamber.

"Humph. Probably Hagar having sex again.." he muttered and continued to eat.

"Zarkon...." A deep voice said.

"Huh?" Zarkon put down his plate.

"ZARKON! YOU IDIOT!!" A figure popped in through the walls.

Shit! It was his FATHER! But he was DEAD!

"F - father.." Zarkon stammered.

"That's RIGHT boy!!" The huge spectre boomed. "I'm here to warn you!"

"Warn me? You NEVER warned me of anything, you old fart!" Zarkon bellowed.

The ghost of his father clonked him on the head with his scepter.

"Insolent whelp! Always were a smart mouth! Anyway, boy, I'm here to warn you
of three spirits that will come to visit your sorry ass, so you BETTER BE
ready!"

"Bah! Spirits! I have Hagar, I don't NEED to fear spirits!" Zarkon said
bravely.

The ghost loomed in front of Zarkon's face, causing him to shrink back.

"YOU BETTER FEAR THESE, BOY! Else you'll face the same future I HAVE now! An
eternity without - "

"Without what?" Zarkon asked.

"Never mind, trout for brains. Expect the first spirit at the stroke of
twelve, the second at one and the last at two. I'm leaving now. Gotta go
terrorize some lowly village in Transylvania! Heed my warning, BOY!"

And the spirit of Zarkon's father disappeard. Zarkon sighed in relief.

"Bah, humbug! That wasn't MY father but some apparition brought about by
eating this crappy food! Spirits indeed!"

And so Zarkon settled in to sleep..

Meanwhile unseen, the Scribe whispered amongst themselves and to Hagar.

"Geez, Hagar, that was Zarkon's DAD? No wonder he's such a creep!" Michelle
whispered.

Hagar shrugged. "He's what I plucked from his memories."

Tamy said, "Hey, Michelle, you better get the costume on. You're the first
spirit.."

"Yeah.." Michelle whispered. "I never thought I'd WANT to get into Zarkon's
bedroom willingly - in my right mind!"

"Ssshh!" Moonie said. "Let's hurry!"

Soon it was the stroke of midnight..

"Zarkon.." a female voice said softly.

Zarkon responded with a resounding snore.

"ZARKON!" The voice yelled, startling Zarkon out of his sound sleep.

"Huh, what?" He sat up. "This BETTER be good!" he scowled and then he saw
Michelle.

"Well, well!" he grinned. "I see at least one of the Scribes have sense! Come
here, my dear, and we'll have some Christmas cheer!"

Michelle was floating slightly above and away from Zarkon and she was in a
whilte costume. She glowed with an eerie light.

"I am the Spirit of Christmas Past!" she said.

"Whatever.." Zarkon shrugged. "Now come here!"

Michelle whipped out her scepter and clonked Zarkon in the head.

"DON'T triffle with the spirits!" Michelle said angrily.

"All right, all right!" Zarkon growled. Maybe his dad WAS right.

"Take my hand, Zarkon, and I will take you to - "

She was cut off by Zarkon who said with a leer, "Paradise?"

CLONK! Michelle clonked him with the scepter again.

"NO! Now take my hand or my scepter is going right up your caboose!"

Zarkon knew a valid threat when he heard one and so he took it. Suddenly the
room whirled around and Zarkon soon found himself in a mist and then he saw
himself as a young teenager about fifteen or so.

"Hey, that's ME as a boy!" Zarkon grinned. "I had a great head of hair then.."

Michelle said, "This is your father's castle.."

"Yeah." Zarkon scowled. "The old tyrant.."

They watched the young Zarkon sit glumly at a desk supposedly studying. A
young girl came in and the young Zarkon stood up. Suddenly he started to
chase the girl, who screamed. The young Zarkon leered and started grabbing at
the girl
The unseen Scribes above shook their heads.

"Geez! He was horny even as a kid!" Tamy said.

"Yeah! That's pretty bad!" Moonie said.

"Hm, he's not bad at all.." Hagar mused. "Maybe I should do some time
travel.."

"NO, Hagar!" Moonie glared.

Hagar merely cackled.

Down below, Zarkon yelled, "Hey, you gotta PIN her, you twit! I'll help ya!"

Michelle said, "This is but reflections of the past, Zarkon. They cannot see
us or hear us."

A booming voice suddenly yelled, "ZARKON, YOU IDIOT! LET THAT GIRL GO!"

"Aw geez, if's my ol' man!" the young Zarkon growled. He let the girl go.

"That's BETTER, BOY! Just for that you WON'T be invited to the orgy I had
planned this evening."

"Ahhh, no! I've been looking forward to that for - "

He was cut off by his father. "Uh uh! That is MY command, boy! That girl is
mine and NOT yours, whelp! You do as I say, now you will stay in here and
study!"

The young Zarkon gave his father a glare as he left the room.

"Someday I'm going to defeat YOU, father and then I will conquer the entire
galaxy and then I will have anything I want - including any woman!
Hahahahaha!!"

"Damn old man.." the present Zarkon growled.

"It was just about Christmastime when this happened.." Michelle said.

"Yeah, father thought it was an interesting custom. Got it from a human slave
of his so he'd hold an orgy every year. That would have been my first year.."

Michelle shuddered but said, "Now we go.." she grabbed Zarkon's hand, trying
not to shudder. Suddenly they were in the midst of a big party.

"Wow! I remember THIS place!" Zarkon grinned. "This was at the Academy! The
graduation party! Damn! What a time!"

All Michelle could see were writhing bodies. Perhaps this WASN'T a good idea
after all! She decided to whisk him back to his bedroom.

"Aw! Why did you have to go and do that for?" Zarkon sat up in his bed.
"Could've gave you some ideas.." he raised a brow suggestively.

"Silence!" Michelle clonked him on the head with her scepter. "The next
spirit will arrive soon! Perhaps then you shall see the error of your ways!"

Michelle disappeared in a glow of light and Zarkon shrugged and laid back
down again.

Michelle appeared back above with all the other unseen Scribes and Hagar.

"THAT didn't work!" Michelle said. "Geez, I thought that Zarkon had SOME
semblance of a NORMAL childhood!"

"With Zarkon NOTHING is normal.." Tamy grimaced.

"My! He WAS an interesting young man!" Hagar grinned.

"Yick. Well, Tamy, you're up." Sammie-Ma said.

"Oy, why me.." she groaned.

"Because you're the one who suggested it!" Moonie said.

"Oh yeah!" Tamy said. "Well here goes nothing!"

And so they prepared for the coming of the second spirit..

A Harem Tales Christmas Carol - Part Three
The clock chimed one and an eerie light bathed Zarkon's gloomy room, waking
Zarkon up. He heard noises coming from the outer room and he got up angrily.
He didn't know who dared to be making a ruckus in HIS chambers, but by golly
he was going to put a quick end to it!
He opened the door and his eyes widened. There in front of him was a large
table laden with every delacacy one could imagine. There was a Christmas
tree, all lit up beside that and in front of the table stood a tall Drule
woman wearing a red leather outfit with a white cowboy hat and red stilleto
heels. He couldn't see her face until she propped up the hat on her head.

"Hiya, Zarkon..I'm the Spirit of Christmas Present.." Tamy smirked at Zarkon.

"And WHAT a PRESENT!! Food, drink and a Scribe! What MORE could I ask for?"
Zarkon was practically drooling. He came forward quickly, intent upon
claiming his prize.

CLONK! Tamy clonked Zarkon over the head with HER scepter.

"Hey, now. NO foolin' around with a spirit. You do and I got an electric
cattle prod that'll change your mind REAL quick."

Zarkon rubbed his head. Geez, you try to score and you get clonked. He had
NEEDS too!

"All right..all right.." he looked wistfully at the scantily clad form. "You
don't NEED to hit a man - unless it's foreplay.."

"Don't think I DON'T know what you're thinking, Zarkon.." Now let's go. I
have things to show you.."

"Oh yeah?" he grinned wickedly.

CLONK!

"Not THAT, you horny fool.." Tamy took his hand and they disappeared into the
mists.

Zarkon found himself in the Scribes Harem. He saw them cleaning up the mess
that his guards had made.

"You ordered the guards to destroy their decorations.." Tamy said.

"That's right! They did a good job, too." Zarkon mused.

"They certainly did. All they wanted was to add a bit of joy to their
surrondings.."

"Ha! Well they COULD add a bit of joy in MY direction!" he growled and then
stared at Dom's upturned bottom as she bent to sweep up something.

CLONK!

"OW!" Zarkon rubbed his head. "Quit DOING that!"

"Because of your selfishness, you have ruined their attempts at decorating.."
Tamy said. "You know they will never sleep with you. Besides you really
haven't quelled their Christmas spirit."

"Bah, humbug!" Zarkon growled and Tamy sighed. Geez, this was hard!

"Come!"

Zarkon leered. "I WOULD if you'd just get on your back and - "

CLONK!

Tamy grabbed his hand and suddenly they were somewhere else and Zarkon saw
his son Lotor, flying in a ship, a frown on his face.

"Good! Lotor's doing what I said for once.." Zarkon said.

"You sent him away knowing that he'd be away Christmas." Tamy said.

"So? I'd be around to comfort the Scribes.." Zarkon shrugged.

Tamy said, "Have you no heart? That's your son - alone!"

"I have a heart!" Zarkon said, "Of course if you LET me show you, MY dear.."

CLONK!

"Augh! I give up!" Tamy said and grabbed his hand again.

Zarkon found himself back in his bed - alone.

"Damn!" he muttered. "This is one hellva dream.." He settled down and went
back to sleep.

Above him, unseen, Tamy said to the other Scribes, "He's impossible! I mean
he's WORSE than Scrooge EVER could be!"

"Yeah, he's something, all right.." Michelle shook her head.

"All right Hagar. You're next. Do what we instructed and that dominatix stuff
is yours!" Moonie said.

"AND the joy-juice.." Hagar added.

"Yes, that too!" Tamy said exasperated.

Hagar cackled. "This ought to be FUN!"

"Fun, shsmum! Let's hope this works!" Michelle said.

And soon it was time for the third spirit..

A Harem Tales Christmas Carol
It's was two am when the clock stuck. For some reason, Zarkon woke up for the
room was chilly. He was startled when he saw the apparition before him.

"Hagar! What ARE you doing in here!" he roared.

The apparition did not answer and this spooked Zarkon a bit. The apparition
held out a skeletal hand to Zarkon silently and he actually shuddered and
said, "You're the Spirit of Christmas future.."
However he took the hand as if he could not disobey.
They disappeared in a swirl of mist and they were in his throne room. Zarkon
looked around.
"Huh. So it's my throne room.." he shrugged. "Looks about the same.."
Suddenly he saw a stooped over man come into the room. He was very ancient
and he stomped over to the throne. Zarkon's eyes widened when he saw that it
was HIM!

"Damn! I know I'll live forever but to LOOK like THAT?" Zarkon said. "Well at
least I'm still on the throne!" He then asked, "Hey, maybe I have the
Scribes!!"
The apparition shook it's head and pointed silently at two guards who
whispered amongst themselves.
The first guard said, "Yeesh, Zarkon's been on the throne forever! Bastard
won't die that's for sure.."

The other said, "Yeah, but you know, he never DID get those Scribes. They run
off iwth his son AGES ago and now Lotor rules his OWN empire with them."

"Yeah, the old goat didn't get everything!" the guard laughed.

Then Zarkon's attention was focused upon his older self.

"Humph! Well the Scribes might have left, but I still rule Doom!" Zarkon
said.

The apparition pointed towards the double doors and the guards, as if they
knew what was coming, left quickly. There was no one in the room, except for
the old king. The doors opened, admitting a creature so horrible that Zarkon
shuddered visibly.
"Oh no.." Zarkon gasped. "Not that!"
The thing that came through the door LOOKED like Hagar except for the waving
tentacles that issued from her body.
"Sire, I'm heeeeere.."
The old, OLD king looked at her with glazed eyes.
Zarkon said, "Surely I CAN'T get it up with THAT!!"
But to his surprise, his older self DID and seemed to welcome the horrific
Naga-Hagar.
Zarkon looked sick. "Tell me this ISN'T the future! Tell me that it's just
things that MIGHT be!!" He watched the Naga-Hagar work on his older self.
The apparition said nothing only pointed at the now entwined couple. Zarkon
fell on his knees shuddering.

"Please take me back, spirit! I'll uh - do something about that Christmas!
Yes sir! Those Scribes will have a GREAT Christmas, so long as THAT doesn't
HAPPEN to me!!!"

They disappeared and then Zarkon was back in bed. However he didn't go back
to sleep. He ran to the Scribes Harem and flung open the doors, waking
everyone up.

"WHAT TIME IS IT?"

Dom rubbed her eyes. "It's in the middle of the night!"

"I don't care! You can HAVE your Christmas stuff back! Get a TREE! Get
mistletoe! Get ANYTHING you want and I'll PAY for it!"

By this time Tamy, Michelle and the other Scribes who had watched the whole
thing unseen were back in the Harem.

"Oh yeah? We're STILL not having SEX with you!' Michelle said, trying to keep
a small smile off her face.

Zarkon still looked shook up. "I've changed my mind! Go ahead! Order more
decorations! You can have Christmas all you want and I'll even call Lotor
back!"

Tamy raised an eyebrow. "How do we know you'll keep your promise?" She sent
a vision of the Naga-Hagar back into his mind.

"THIS promise I'll keep!" Zarkon stomped off.

Later in the morning, as all the Scribes woke up, they found to their
surprise, boxes and boxes of expensive Christmas decorations everywhere and a
humongous tree in the center of the hall.

"Wow!' Dom said, "What could have changed his mind?"

Michelle said, "Well maybe he just got the Christmas spirit."

"Well whatever it is, let's hope he keeps it!" Dom giggled as she brought
out the new ornaments.

The Scribes redecorated the Harem and later in the evening Lotor came back to
many, many kisses and hugs. Hagar in the meantime was playing with her new
dominatrix set and the howls of her 'victim' were heard throughout the
castle. Hagar was quite happy with that!
As for Zarkon, although he did not and could not keep Christmas in his heart,
he did keep in mind the vision of the Naga-Hagar and himself. This was an
adequate deterent to keep Zarkon from going back on his promise. From then on
there was always Christmas decorations in the Scribes Harem - bought and paid
for by the cheap King Zarkon.
Of course this did NOT mean the old king didn't TRY to take advantage of the
mistletoe tradition..
That is of course another story..

Happy Holidays!!
Tam