Who would have thought....(fic) 1

Life was going on as usual in the harem. Nothing special had been happening.
We had the occasional problems with Zarkon but what's life without a little
excitement! Moonies business was flourishing, Tamy had her whip cream, and
Michelle and Dom watched Xena faithfully every week. Sarah and Cossack were
getting along just fine, Gina had added to her paddle collection and on the
eh.."other" side Mumra was still pruning his twig of delight! The only
really unusual thing was that occasionally things began dissapearing in the
harem. Finally a meeting was called in the living room.

Jenn:(throwing her hands up) This is unreal!! My leather thong is missing
from my room! I can't find it anywhere!!!!
Tamy: Yeah, I can't find my lipstick collection! Oh! I'm so sick of wearing
pink!
Michelle: Your make up is missing too? I thought i just misplaced my
eyeshadow case.
Samara: So i'm not losing it! I thought i just couldn't remember where I put
my favorite tank top.
Dom: Is everyone seeing a pattern here?
Tamy: Yeah Dom, stuff missing!
Dom: Well..yeah..but I mean its personal women's stuff. Who would want that
but another woman?
Michelle: You mean someone is stealing from us? It couldn't be one of us.
Lotor gives us everything we want! Why would we steal from each other?
Jenn: Maybe its someone from the other lower harem. You know the one that
always gives us dirty looks when we pass by.
Michelle: Good Idea Jenn! Let's go over right there now and smak them around
for awhile!!
Samara: No silly! We will just politely ask them if their missing stuff too.
Moonie: Yeah! Its fess up or else! (holds up her fist)
Dom: Alrighty! To the other harem we go!!!

Part 2 following!
Who would have thought 2


Boy what an interesting day it has been!!
What was gonna be a peaceful trip to the other harem, turned out to be an out
and out brawl that Jerry Springer would have been proud of!

All of the Scribes were getting ready to go to the other harem. Then a
scream was heard from Dom in her room.
Dom: OH MY GOD!!! WHERE THE HELL IS IT!!
(Tamy and Michelle rush in)
Tamy: What's the matter Dom?! Where's what?
Dom: My Duran Duran's Greatest Hits CD is missing! I LOVE THAT CD! Do you
realize how long it took to get that CD?!!!!
Michelle: Did you check everywhere? Maybe you just forgot where
....you...put....
(The insane look in Dom's eyes cut off Michelle)
Dom: It must have been one of those bimbo's from the other harem!! I know
THEY like Duran!!! Let's go!!
So Dom and the other's marched to Lotor's other harem. Samara knocked on the
door and the Scribes were let in. They were brought to the living area, where
the majority of the girls were just lazily brushing their hair.
Jenn: Umm.. we'd like to ask you girls if ..um..you'd seen any of our stuff.
We've been having problems with things dissappearing.

A very scantily dressed harem slave named Andra walked up to Jenn and looked
her dead in the eye.
Andra: So what? Do you think we took them?
Jenn: I didn't say that...
Andra: yeah , yeah whatever! Seems like your harem is a bunch of theives!
Dom(steps up to Andra) OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!! (grabs Andra by the throat) Where
is my CD slut?! Start talking or I'm gonna kick your ass six ways from
Sunday!

Well as you can imagine this little incident turned into an all out war.
Girls were flying everywhere! It took 6 palace guards to break up the brawl.
Later when the Scribes were back in their own harem, Sarah began to nurse all
of the wounded.
Sarah: Unbelievable you people are! Just for this, I'm using the Iodine!
Tamy: Oh come on Sarah, we didn't mean to...OWWWWWW!!!
Samara:(holding a piece of meat to her black eye) Girls, after we are all
settled, lets all take a walk to the indoor gardens and clear our heads.
Maybe this mystery can be solved.
Dom:(who was in the worst shape because Andra on her home world had been a
champion kick boxer), your right Sammie. Let's do it.
Part 3 next!

Who would have thought 3?

The garden inside the castle was beautiful. Lotor had imported various
plants from all over the galaxy to make an absolutely breath taking view.
The scribes had made their way to the garden after being nursed back to
health by Sarah. They were all still a little sore, but it did help to relax
in the garden. Eventually a conversation began on the missing items.

Tamy: Who could want those things other than women? It had to be someone from
that harem! Maybe it was a servant?
Jenn: Nah. A servant knows the punishment for stealing. Besides our servants
don't seem like the stealing type.
Dom: I have no clue. I miss my DuranDuran CD!!! I'll never hear Hungry Like
the Wolf ever again!!!!
Michelle: But I hear it right now....
(Everyone turned to look at Michelle)
Michelle: You mean you guys don't hear it? Someone is playing it real loudly!
Listen,
A scent and a sound...I'm on the hunt down after you...
Tamy: Wait...She's right I hear it too! Let's follow the music!
Dom: When I get my hands on who ever took my cd......!
Samara: And my tank top...
Jenn: And my leather thong..
Tamy: And my lipsticks...
Michelle: And my eyeshadow kit....
Jenn: Come on girls! Not a moment to lose.
So all the scribes tried to follow the sound of the music. The music led them
into an old, rarely used part of the castle. Finally, they approached a door
where a light was on and the music was playing the loudest. Taking a deep
breath, Tamy threw open the door.
The site that met them was too horrific to comprehend. The scribes were all
in a state of pure shock, with their mouths open and eyes wide.

There in the room was Zarkon, wearing a black tank top, a black leather
thong, a blond wig, and plenty of makeup on his face. To top it all off, he
was crawling on the floor, pretending to be an animal of some kind, blasting
Hungry Like the Wolf. When he saw the girls in the doorway, he started
laughing and smiling.

Zarkon: So you girls know my little secret! I do this on occasion to help me
relieve the pressures of running a kingdom. I had my servants secretly steal
your stuff for me. I get such a rush knowing you lovelies used them!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Well, that sealed it for the scribes. One by one they ran screaming out the
door, all the way back to the harem. It took months of professional therapy,
from specialists from all over the galaxy to help them deal with this kind of
trauma! Eventually they returned to their normal state of mental health(
whatever that is!).

Dom