The Day the Soda Ran Dry

The day in the harem began like any other. The scribes had finished with
breakfast and were breaking up to do their own thing. Moonie was going over
her latest orders that Haggar had put in, Sarah was doing inventory in the med
office, Michelle was watching reruns of Xena in the living room and Dom was
looking for a book she had misplaced. All was running smoothly until about
one pm when lunch was served. The scribes all gathered around the table
talking until a yell from the kitchenette cut them off.
Tamy: OH MY GOD! HOW CAN THIS BE!
the scribes made a dash for the kitchen. They were met by a distraught looking
Tamy standing in front of the fridge.
Dom: Tamy what is it?!! Is there something in there?
Michelle: yeah did Zarkon hang up more nude pictures of himself in there
again?
Tamy: No! No! No! (gulp) take a look for yourselves.
With intense curiousity the scribes looked into the fridge. Everything looked
the same, but something wasn't quite right.
Samara: by the gods! I know what it is! All of the soda in the fridge is
gone!!!! AAAAAKKKKKKKKK!
Christa pats Samara on the arm in an attempt to calm her down.
Christa: It's ok Sammie, it'll be alright! Who in the world would do this to
us?
Moonsilk: Well i know one person who'll do anything to try to get us in the
sack!
Dom: ooooohhhhh yuck! This is the worst thing Zarkon has done to us! how can
he take away our lifeblood?!!! I say we go and confront him!
Tamy: Hells yeah! Nobody messes with my Big Red!
So the scribes went to the throne room where Zarkon was keeping the throne
warm. He looked down on the scribes with some amusement.
Zarkon: Gee ladies? what seems to be the problem? You all look flush. Maybe
you should drink some nice cold WATER ! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHA!
Samara: Can it Zarkon! what have you done with our soda supply?
Zarkon: I'm afraid its cut off. You see the distributor is a good friend of
mine. When I told him of all the insolent things you scribes have done to me,
he decided that this was the best way to get my vengeance. Get used to it
girls! Its tap for you!
Dom falls on her knees and screams NNNOOOOOOOO!
Tamy picks Dom up off the floor and in a calm voice says:
Tamy: Ok Zarkon, if thats the way you want it, thats cool.
All the scribes turn and look at Tamy liked she totally lost it.
Dom(whispering to Tamy) Are you insane? We have to fight him!
Tamy(whispers to Dom) play along! I've got an idea. Come on girls, lets go
drink some nice healthy water.
With confused faces the scribes follow Tamy back to the harem with Zarkon
laughing his head off behind them.
Michelle: what's this all about Tamy?
Tamy: My plan is so simple! check it out....
DD

The Day the Soda Ran Dry 2

Dom: So lemme get this straight. We invite the head of the soda company, Solar
Sal, to come to the harem in hopes of seducing him, which in turn will give us
our soda back?
Tamy: you got it.
Jenn: well, what does this Solar Sal guy look like?
Tamy: I don't know. When i contacted him to invite him, i couldn't get a clear
picture. He should be ok.
A few moments later a guard comes into the room.
Guard: Ladies there is a Solar Sal here to see you. Shall i invite him in?
Tamy: Put on your smiles girls! yes send him in.
The gurard bowed and turned toward the door. When Solar Sal came through the
door all the smiles on the scribes faces were wiped clean off! Solar Sal
weighed 300pounds easy. He was very short and had no hair on his head. His
face was red, sweaty and full of pock marks. To top it off there was a smell
that seemed to settle in the harem as soon as Sal walked in.
Dom:(whispering) oh gross! I think i'll start drinking coffee....
Christa: water is starting to look good now...
Sal: Oh my! (he talked like he was gasping for air and his breath smelled like
something died in his throat) You ladies are boo-tiful! Yummy! So which one of
you do i get first?
At that moment all the scribes turn and glare hatefully at Tamy! They were
supposed to seduce this!!! No one wanted to be in the same room let alone
touch him! Dom who was closest to Tamy pinched her hard on her arm. Tamy gave
a yelp and was prepared to yell at Dom when Sal spoke up.
Sal: whooo-hooo! (looks at Dom)That one gots spirit! I wanna break her first!
He advances toward Dom...
Dom(holds up her first 2 fingers on each hand) Come near me tubby and i'm
gonna cut off the flow of blood to your brain!
Sal: i gots to have you baby! you can be my queen of Solar Sal's Soda.
Sarah: Ummm...Mr. Sal, i got a better idea! why don't you wait in the lounge
and give Dom a moment to prepare herself.
Sal: okie dokie hunny. Be prepared to receive Salvation! get it! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Dom: shoo-shoo! go away!
Sal: GA-FAW! (with that Sal waddles away)
Dom: what the hell did you say that for Sarah!!!!! there is NO WAY I'm going
near that thing!
Sarah: Don't worry your not going to! but i know someone who is!.....

The Day The Soda Ran Dry 3

Ten minutes after Sarah's conversation with Dom, Sarah left the harem with
promises of being right back.
Dom: Do you think this(holding up a metal candelstick) will do the job?
Samara: he's kinda of big, I think you need something heavier.
Tamy: Stop talking about killing him! If he goes then so does our soda!
Seconds later Sarah comes into the harem with Haggar and Romelle of all
people!
Haggar(whispers to Dom)well, it looks like you have a BIG problem!
Dom: No kidding! are you gonna help me?
Haggar: yeah i am! consider ourselves even for helping me find Mum-ra.
Moonsilk: hey! whats blondie over there doing here?
Romelle: I'm too happy to let the likes of you bring me down, moron! I'm
finally getting what's coming to me!
Everyone looks at Haggar for an explination but Haggar just says:
Haggar: He's in the other room Romelle! Enjoy!
Romelle charges into the other room where Sal is waiting for Dom. Within a few
minutes the distinct sounds of a horizontal mambo can be heard.
Dom(mouth agape)What the hell just happened?
Haggar: Romelle believes that Sven was waiting for her in that room, asking
for her forgiveness in choosing Devana over her. I guess there making
up!hehehehehehe!
Michelle: But that's not Sven, that's the tub of guts with her! ewwww yuck!
Haggar: Thanks to my magic, Romelle sees him as Sven and Sal sees her as Dom.
What interesting men take interests in you Dom!
Dom: Aw shut up! why did you do it?
Haggar: a little thank you for helping me find Mum-ra.
Sarah: I figured she owed us!
A couple of hours later, a very satisfied Romelle and Sal emerged. Sal was
happy with "Dom's performance" and returned the wonderful nectar of life
(soda) to the harem. The girls got their caffeine high and they drank til they couldn't belch no more!
The end