Title: The Dying Embers
Author: Veronica Jane Williams
Contact: xkhoi@iafrica.com
Series: Voyager
Rating: NC-17
Codes: J/Mark, J, C.
Part: 1/1 NEW
 
SUMMARY: In this, an episode coda to "Hunters", Janeway reflects
after receiving Mark's letter.

My thanks to JanK who kindly sent me the tape so I could finally
watch the episode "Hunters".


THE DYING EMBERS

Prologue

It was still dark. Too dark and too early to be awake. But Kathryn
Janeway stirred lazily on the wide bed. The covers had long since 
crept to the edge of the bed, where, with just a slight shift of her
foot, blanket and sheet slid off to the floor with a soft swish.

She was lying right on the edge. If she turned, she would look 
inelegantly at the floor where her discarded satin nightie lay. She 
groaned, and felt the envervation of a nights saitsfying lovemaking.   
An arm rested around her waist. A heavy arm that somehow managed to keep 
her on the bed, preventing her from falling off.

“Mark...”

“Hmmmm...?” It was a muffled sound that came from behind her. The warm 
breath tickled her neck. It sent delicious shivers through her. She felt 
a nuzzling of his lips against her neck after his sleepy mumble.

“I’m going to fall off...” she complained as she tried to turn round to 
face him. 

“You won’t, love. See? I’ve got you tied to me...” he said as he finally
lifted his face to look at her, at the same time pulling her closer to
him towards the middle of the bed.

She rolled over and straddled him. “How do you do it?” she asked as she
cupped his head and leaned in to brush her lips against his.

“Do what?” he asked the moment she broke off the kiss to breathe.

“Occupy the entire bed...”

“Better to melt with you, my love,” he answered, then murmured: "I go 
where you go..." 

Her breath was hot as she caressed his chest, completely preoccupied 
with licking and nipping his nipples that, in spite of the warmth of the 
room, stood hard and erect.

“Kathryn...” he groaned, arching his neck as he felt his arousal
press into her, “I have to get up...”

She looked up from her task, and with her eyes smoudering, she slid 
forward over him to kiss him. His mouth opened under hers, and he moaned 
as she rubbed her centre against his arousal.

“Kathryn...” he groaned again, but she continued her exploration, 
kissing and nipping his skin, rubbing her cheeks against his chest
hair. 

“I want you, Mark...” she whispered huskily agaisnt his ear.

“As if I didn’t know,” he muttered as he tried to gain some semblance
of control. He gave a cry as she moved and bit hard into his nipple. It 
was all he needed as his arousal strained rock-hard against her stomach. 

Kathryn sat up, her legs straddling him, and her palms pressed flat 
against his chest. Her breathing was low, and every gasp became even 
shallower and huskier as she looked at him. Her long reddish brown hair
fanned out in glorious abandon over her shoulders. Her breasts were 
firm, with her nipples hard and pink against the darker aureoles. 
Kathryn’s lips were parted. They were red and full, and he could sense, 
rather than feel, the softness of it. He arched his neck and groaned 
again at the way she sat on him, at the way she looked at him. Blue eyes 
glowed hotly from under long lashes, her nostrils flared as he felt the 
heat just bouncing off her. He had the distinct impression of a huntress 
ready to kill.

“Kathryn, my God...”

Her knees dug into the mattress as she raised her hips. His hands 
clutched at her hips as he held her up, and his thumbs grazed lazily the 
hair at her centre. He panted, and geared himself for her next move. She 
was ready for him. How ready, he realised as she took his stiff penis in 
both hands and positioned her centre against the tip. Mark felt her 
folds parting as she first rubbed his shaft in her opening. He moaned 
his pleasure as she sank down slowly on him. He gave a long drawn out 
sigh of satisfaction as her sheath closed on him. He filled her so 
completely that he thought he could never uncouple from her, so tight he 
fitted in her. She started squeezing gently against him, the pressure 
mounting as she felt herself swamped with desire. She threw her head 
back, her hair hanging long over her back, and brushing gently against 
his thighs.

She did not move yet as she sat, impaled on him, but her sheath muscles 
contracted and relaxed, contracted and relaxed around him. It was the 
most deliciously erotic feeling. Kathryn had never been so abandoned 
with him, he had never felt so totally out of control as he gave himself 
up to the pleasure of being so sweetly tortured by her. 

He felt his body stiffening and arching as his muscles protested, 
wanting to give in and crash over the edge. Kathryn stopped suddenly and 
he looked at her, feeling a little bereft. She smiled at him, and he 
thought in those moments he would die. This was a Kathryn who was wild, 
wanton, a tigress waiting to turn on him, and he relished every moment 
of it. 

He had his hands on her hips again, and when she started moving slowly,
he helped her by lifting her hips. He pushed her down hard on him, his 
own hips rising a little to meet hers, trying to bury himsellf even 
deeper into her slick softness. Each time he grunted as he brought her 
down on him, each time she cried his name as she plunged down. Her eyes 
were closed; she appeared in another world. The feeling of him so deep 
in her, so hot and wonderful, made her plunge down again and again and 
again, not wanting to stop. His grunts became louder and protracted as 
their movements became more frienzied. Kathryn was hot, wet and she was 
pumping into him like she has never done before. Her nails dug painfully 
into his flesh as her fingers clamped convulsively over his hands.

“Oh, God, Mark, I can’t stop. I want more...more...” she gasped as her 
body ravaged him. He could only hold on to her as she moved and plunged,
her body covered with a slick sheen as she strained after each thrust 
into him. 

“Go on...I want it too, love...” he coaxed her as his body bucked. Their 
movements started flowing, synchronised to become one; In the next few 
moments, as they crashed to their blinding climax, they exploded into
a shower of light and feeling and touch, where sound was lost, and only 
the rushing of ocean waves roared on an on in their ears. Then they 
floated...floated until they could hear each other’s breathing again. 
Kathryn collapsed against Mark, and she buried her face in his clammy 
neck.  His hands came up and he held her very close to him, pressing his 
lips against her forehead. 

At last, when her beathing became even, she looked into his face and 
with a crooked smile said: 

“You were saying?”

“I love you, Kathryn Janeway,” he said hoarsely as he pulled her to him 
again. 

“I love you,” he repeated as few minutes later as she lay next to him, 
on her side, bracing herself on her elbow. She bent down to kiss him,
a warm and tender aspect in her eyes.

“Kathryn,” he said softly as he smoothed her hair away from her face, 
“what was that all about?” He looked at her a little speculatively, a 
smile hovering in his face.

“I wanted you, Mark...”

“Karhryn, my love, we’ve made love how many times during the night 
and - “

“I don’t want to lose you, Mark,” she said softly, then sighed as she 
lay in his arms again.

“You’ve never been so intense, sweetheart,” he said again softly, then 
thought that she had also made love to him with some desperation, as if 
she...

“I’m leaving tomorrow, Mark,” she murmured into his neck.

“I know, honey. But it’s only for two weeks, you said that yourself.”

“Yes...”

“What are you afraid of?” he asked as he sat up and drew her into his 
arms.

“I’ll miss you...”

“Naturally. We’re getting married shortly and I love you,” he assured 
her. "Just don’t come back with some handsome hunk hanging on your arm, 
will you?”

Kathryn laughed for the first time. 

“You’ve never been the jealous type, Mark,” she said lightly.

“Hey, you’re tracking down Maquis. You’ll be back in no time. Besides, 
I’ll look after the dog for you...”

“Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse,” she retored as she got up and went 
to the bathroom.

“I love you!” he managed to shout as her heard her enter the bathroom.

Mark watched the door after she left, then frowned. Kathryn had been 
uncommonly and deeply expressive in their lovemaking just now. She was 
like a wild tigress just wanting to eat him up. Perhaps, he thought... 
Perhaps it’s some sign...

He lay back, his arm over his face, and he sighed again. 

**************

Four years later.

Kanthryn Janeway had excused herself quietly to go into her ready room. 
Never before had the distance from the point she was standing on the 
bridge as she faced Tom, to the door of the ready room seemed so far. 
Never had the time she took walking as dignified as possible down the 
two steps to her door, appear so long. Never before, she could swear it 
on her grandmother’s grave, was the air so charged with tension, with 
expectancy.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply as the door closed behind 
her. Settling herself on her couch, she sat back and started reading 
from the PADD. Her own message from home.

Mark. 

Two minutes could seem like an eternity, an eternity in which Kathryn’s 
facial expression changed from expectancy, a glow in her eyes, to 
tenderly smiling, eyes warm and caring, to a starkness in her features.
The smile changed and her lips pursed a little, it dissolved gradually 
until it was no longer there. 

Only a quiet resignation rested on her face. 

A deep sadness.

Her eyes stared out and saw nothing in particular. It was fixed on a 
point but the point had no interest. 

Mark...Mark...Mark... it pulsed in her. A little vein at her temple 
throbbed, beating out his name in unending pain. The first few minutes 
her mind was devoid of everything; there was only a blur, quickly 
superceded by a mist that drowned all conversation, all thought. Kathryn 
could not think, and she stared blindly at the far point in the room her 
eyes had fixed in the first place. Only Mark's name throbbed in her, 
like her  lifeblood it pulsed, pulsed, pulsed until it slowly receded. 

Only then could see discern objects in the room. Her vid-com, the 
replicator, her ornaments she had collected and brought along on the 
journey - a sextant, a tiny shelf with her favourite novels. She noticed 
absently the title of one: Wuthering Heights.

She gave a deep sigh.

Somehow, sometime over the last four years, she had thoughts of this 
happening. She was objective enough to know that Voyager and her crew  
would by now have been presumed dead. She had known  over the years that 
families, friends and lovers would eventually stop waiting. She had 
known that at some point, when the waiting was over, families and 
friends and lovers would move on with their lives. 

Find resolution, Chakotay said. 

 

How final the words sounded.

It is over. 

“I married four months ago. To someone who works with me,” the words 
screamed out at her from the PADD that still rested limply in her hands. 

Resolution. Mark found it. He is happy. 

Kathryn looked at the photo on her desk, the one showing Mark with her 
dog. “She has puppies now...”

They are dogs, now.

 she said silently as she 
went to sit in her chair and touched the photo. .

 she asked 
wordlessly as she took the photo from the desk and slid it in her 
drawer.

Why?

.

I used you, I used your memory, and I used my memory of you. 

*

The ready room door opened, and Chakotay stepped inside. He wavered a 
second at the door. Kathryn looked up at her first officer, whose face 
held concern. He stepped closer, and asked:

“Your letter?”

“Yes...”

“Well?”

“He married four months ago, the man I was engaged to...”

“I’m sorry.”

Chakotay wanted to touch her, put his fingers against her cheek and 
offer comfort. She looked so...unhappy.

“There was such a finality about it...” she said softly, and he thought 
for one wild moment that she was going to throw herself in his arms and 
burst into tears. But, she was summoned to the bridge again, and the 
moment ws lost.

***********

“I used him, I think, keeping him alive here,” and she placed her hand 
against her heart, “as a way of preventing me from getting involved
with someone else.”

Chakotay sat facing her, his face inscrutible. He listened, she talked.

“A safety net...”

“The net is gone now, Kathryn...”

“Yes... it’s not as if I didn’t have time to get involved with someone 
else,” she said softly. "Besides, my life has been far from uneventful
here in the Delta Quadrant. It's not as if I had plenty of time to 
persue a relationhip - "

"You're not alone, Kathryn. There's still plenty of time..."

She looked at him and smiled wanly. A sudden flash of Chakotay as he 
showed her the tub he made with such pride, flashed before her. It was 
so fleeting that she shook her head slightly, trying to capture that 
image again. 

“Kathryn?”

“Just something I thought of,” she said quickly. Chakotay wondered what 
it was. 

“What...”

“They were embers that were dying, Chakotay. Embers I tried to keep 
glowing, but they were slowly dying...”

Chakotay remained pensive, just stared at her. 

“There's still plenty of time...,” she said finally, looking into his 
eyes.

Chakotay’s insides burned suddenly.  he 
thought. He sighed softly, then said:

“One day Kathryn, there will be a new fire in you. One that will burn 
brightly, one that will rage forever.”

She smiled when he said that. He smiled back and his dimples showed 
ridiculously deep. His hand came up to touch her cheek with great 
tenderness.

“But, there’s plenty of time...” he said softly.

**************
end

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