Uhh, hmm, read this at your own will. i didn't tell you to go here or anything of the sort
Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys his age
rather curious.
He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older
boys, and he
wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his
question to his
mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things
to Johnny,
she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his
older sister
and her boyfriend.
This he did. The following morning, Johnny described
everything to his mother. 'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked
for a while,
then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing
and hugging
her. I figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started
looking
funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand
inside her blouse to
feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as
smart as
the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
'I guess
he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started
panting
and gettin all out of breath. His other hand must of been cold
because he
put it under her skirt. About this time Sis got worse and began
to moan and
sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the
couch. This was when
her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him
she felt
really hot. 'Finally, I found out what was making them so sick--
a big eel had
gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants
and
stood there, about 10 inches long, honest anyway, he grabbed it
in one hand to
keep it from getting away. 'When Sis saw it, she got really
scared -- her
eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling
out to God and
stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen;
I should
tell her about the ones down at the lake. 'Anyway, Sis got brave
and tried to
kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed
it with both
hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket
and slipped
it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. 'Sis lay
back and
spread her legs so she could get a scissor -- lock on it and he
helped by lying
on top of the eel. 'The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started
groaning
and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess
they wanted
to kill the eel by squashing it between them. 'After a while they
both quit
moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure
enough, they
killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some
of its
insides were hanging out. 'Sis and her boyfriend were a little
tired from the
battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging
and
kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped
straight up and
started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have
nine lives or
something. 'This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by
sitting on it. After
a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was
dead, because
I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the
toilet.'