Disclaimer: The Voyager universe, and all therein, belongs to Paramount and a lot of Very Rich People -- definitely not to me.

REFLECTION

I saw myself in him.

His willingness to do whatever he had to - that same dedication to duty I’m so proud of. The ability to breathe as we kissed, acting on an attraction that was as much an act as it was real. His patronising nature, his cruelty, and his falsehood.

I can isolate each trait and identify it, or else the potential for it, within myself.

So similar. So similar in our betrayal of each other.

But he was blind to it. He thought I was more trusting, more innocent than him. How fortunate he was wrong.

STARLIGHT I

I look down at her body, partially covered by the sheet. She’s so pale in the starlight shining through the viewport.

The shape of her back fascinates me. I skim my hand along her spine, watching the way her muscles move as she shifts slightly. Though whether it is towards the contact or away from it, I couldn’t say.

I can’t see her face - her head is turned the other way. I realise I don’t have any idea what she’s thinking. That disturbs me, and so I ask. Her answer surprises me.

"I don’t know what I’m doing here."

STARLIGHT II

"I don’t know what I’m doing here," I say. And *what* am I doing here, in bed - my bed - with him? I don‘t even like him. He is attractive... in an overly self-confident, arrogant sort of way. That hardly justifies sleeping with him, though.

I can’t see him, but his hand rests between my shoulders. It feels warm, and I don’t want to like it, but I do.

There’s no official reason why I shouldn’t be here. Under the circumstances, it’s ill-advised, yes. Against the regs, no.

But a guilty conscious is a difficult thing to live with.

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