By A. Price
disclaimer: I don't own them. Joss Whedon, Foxx and lots of others do. But not me.
The blond man leaned against a telephone pole and lit another cigarette. He watched as the pretty young woman parked and got out of her car in front of Mary's Daycare. It was the same five nights a week, at 6:00 she stopped and picked up a pretty little girl with light brown hair, usually done up in curly pigtails. Sometimes they went straight home and sometimes they stopped at the grocery store or ran errands. She smiled when she was with the little girl, first time he had seen her genuinely smile in years.
Spike got into his car and followed Buffy for to the grocery store, he had been doing this for two weeks now. Since his return to Sunnydale he wasn't sure why, maybe because she was familiar. Someone he knew despite their mortal enemy status. Tonight was different though tonight, she was met by Riley Finn, he hadn't changed much, spike noted as they walked into the store together the little girl in Riley's arms. He followed them at a safe distance, as they put the little girl in the buggy and started shopping. Spike noted to himself that they looked like the picture of domestic bliss. One aisle over though he could hear that they were anything but blissful. "No, Riley, I can't go." Buffy said tiredly.
"Why?" He had asked in a pleading voice.
"You know why?" She told him and walked over to the ice cream, he followed leaving the little girl in the buggy.
Spike could not resist, he walkded cautiously towards the little girl, she was very pretty, she had recieved equal parts of her parents good looks. "Hello there, pet" He said softly as he pretended to look at cereal.
The little girl smiled at him, "Hello." He smiled back at her, "Which of these do you recommend?" He asked her pointing at the cereal on the shelf.
"Oh, the Frosted Flakes are good, but Grandma says they have too much sugar." She told him still smiling.
"Well then that's what I'll get. Thank you........I didn't get your name." Spike said with a wink.
"Caitlin Elizabeth Finn, I am four years old. Who are you?" She asked full of curiosity.
"My name is William, Caitlin. Is that your Mommy and Daddy over there? They don't look very happy."
Caitlin nodded as she watched Buffy and Riley talking in muted whispers. "They aren't they are sad, me and Daddy are going back to the farm tomorrow and Daddy wants Mommy to go, but she can't she has to stay her and take care of stuff. Daddy is sad, Mommy is sad."
Spike shook his head, "Well maybe it will get better. See you." He told her as he ducked around the corner, seeing Buffy and Riley head back to the shopping cart. "Buffy, you could just go back to Iowa with Caitlin and I and forget about this, let someone else take care of Sunnydale for a change. Please." He asked softly.
"Riley, I can't, and in your heart you know that. I'll be there in 6 weeks to pick up Caitlin." She paused a moment before she added her voice choked slightly with emotion, "And Riley, sign the papers. You know it's for the best. Find someone who can be all that you want, someone who deserves you."
Riley looked at her his face reflecting his pain, "But, I found that someone, Buffy, it's you."
Buffy sighed as they continued down the aisle. Spike watched them pay for the groceries and go back to her house. He watched Riley unload the groceries, then several hours later, Buffy saw him to the door, handing over Caitlin, kissing her sleeping face, and giving Riley her suitcase. Riley touched her cheek tenderly with one hand then left with thier daughter.
Spike watched him leave and crept closer, spying in the window, he watched as Buffy cried herself to sleep on the couch. He felt a tightness in his chest, a twinge of something, something was wrong here, very wrong. And he felt himself wanting to make it right and it confused him as to why he would care.
He watched her sleeping thorugh the window until almost dawn, then he made his way back to his hotel room. He fell into a troubled sleep, strange dreams of a crying Slayer haunted him. That evening he watched her as she patrolled easily taking out several vamps, but she seemed troubled. He followed her to Giles and spyed through the window again, the watcher was pacing and that was never a good sign. He listened to parts of their conversation.
"Buffy, go to Iowa, be safe." Giles seemed to be pleading with her.
"Giles, you know I can't do that. And besides we've dealt with prohesies before, I'll be fine. You used to support me now you want me to hold back, your're getting as bad as Riley." She sighed as she sharpened a stake.
"You didn't have Caitlin before." He told her softly putting his hand on her arm and looking into her eyes, "She needs you, Buffy."
"Giles, if this big bad is going to get me, it's gonna find me in Iowa, I'm not safe anywhere." She half smiled at him as she stood and patted his back. "It's okay."
"But, Riley loves you, Buffy. You have to allow him to be concerned. I don't understand your pushing him into this ridiculous divorce." Giles snapped at her, then sighed apologetically. "I'm sorry."
"Giles, he knew when he married me what I was. And we didn't plan on children and we ended up with the most precious little girl in the world, and I would not trade her for anything. But the fact that I have a child does not change who I am. Riley doesn't understand that, yes, he loves me but when it gets down to it he can't accept me. It's my fault I should have known better then to expect any kind of normalcy, I should have never married him."
"Buffy that's where you're wrong. You deserve some happiness." Giles smiled warmly at her as she went to the door.
"Not in the cards, Giles. If you find anything else out, call me." She smiled as she left.
Spike waited until she was out of sight, then knocked on the door.
***********
Giles rubbed his neck tiredly as he got up to answer the door. He was surprised to find Spike there, "Spike?"
"It's me." Spike told him as he walked past him into the living room.
"Do come in." Giles told him sarcastically as he followed him in.
"You've never done the keep out spell?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.
"It didn't seem necessary," Giles told him, then added with a half smile, "Until now."
Spike smiled back at him cockily, "So hows the Slayer?" He asked nonchalantly.
"Buffy is fine. Why ae you here Spike?" Giles asked suspiciously.
"I've come to help the Slayer. I don't think she's fine, in fact she cried herself to sleep on her couch last night, if she's that down how can she save anyone?"
Giles gasped at Spike, "You've been watching Buffy?"
"Yes, I came into town and I saw her and I followed her and well anyway, she's got a kid now, and she's obviously in a not so good marriage with that ex commando, and I'm guessing there is a big bad after her again. And I've come to help." Spike ended his monlogue with an uneeded sigh.
"Why?" Giles asked simply.
"Why? Well, because," Spike thought a moment, "Hell, I don't know, I just saw her looking miserable and I've got nothing better to do, so tell me whats going on. Come on Giles, I've helped before."
Giles sighed, "You're right Spike, what the hell? She won't accept help from us, she's pushed away everyone who cares for her. It's like she's accepted that Wishavos will kill her, she just plans on taking him out in the process. Riley wants her to hide in Iowa with him, I had come to the point that I wanted her to do that too."
"Tell me about Wishavos, he's a vampire, right? I know I've heard of him, but I didn't think he was such a threat."
"He's been gathering followers, sending them here ahead of him, they are vamps on a suicide mission, Buffy's been taking them out, but there numbers are increasing. And I've come across a prophecy about such a thing happening, until the Vamp with the power shows up and takes down the Slayer. Wishavos is not mentioned by name, but it fits."
"Do you know how long before he gets here?" Spike asked a hard edge to his voice.
"I think about six weeks, but I'm not certain."
"Well we have six weeks then, don't we?" Spike smiled as he went to the door.
"Where are you going?" Giles asked.
"To see Buffy." Spike smiled as he closed the door.
**********************
Buffy had just run her bath wter when the door bell rang. She sighed loudly threw on her robe and went to the door. Her mouth dropped when she saw Spike standing outside her door.
"Slayer." He said enthustiastically, smiling broadly.
Buffy pulled her robe around her a little tighter and rolled her eyes at him, "Spike, why are you here?"
"Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"I hadn't intended to." She told him a small smile on her face, it had been years since she had seen him, he'd left Sunnydale with a kind of truce between them.
"Is that anyway to treat an old friend?" He asked his eyes twinkling at her.
"Were we ever friends, Spike?"
"Well, let's just say I have info on Wishavos, please let me in."
"Fine, Spike please come into my home, but don't forget that I still have the uninvite spell." She opened the door wider and he followed her into the house. It was pretty house, not extravagant but homey, filled with love. or it had been at one time.
Buffy motioned for him to sit, he chose a chair across from her as she sat on the couch pulling the short robe down to cover her bare legs. He'd never noticed those legs before, that was a lie he'd noticed them a million times, but had never been this close to them bare before. Stop it Spike, that's not why your here.
He looked around the room lots of pictures of Buffy and Riley and several of Caitlin decorated the mantle and tabletops. He smiled at the picture of a tired Buffy holding a squirming bundle in her arms, a mile wide smile on her face, Riley standing beside the hospital bed beaming at his wife and child.
"She's a pretty little thing." He told her pointing at a more recent picture of Caitlin in a frilly dress, hair in ringlets smiling brightly with her Mother's hazel eyes.
"Thanks." Buffy replied softly, "Now what about Wishavos?"
"Wishavos is not going to kill you, Buffy." He stated matter of factly.
"Really, and how do you know this, Spike?" She asked him incredously.
He looked directly in her eyes, "Because I won't let him." He made the simple declaration and watched her reaction.
She gave a small laugh, "Why? Why won't you let him Spike? I mean of all the people that I have offering to rescue me, why you?"
He stood and made the few steps to the couch and sat closely next to her. "Because I know what you need right now. How long have you been separated from Riley?"
"How can you know what I need? I haven't seen you for close to six years. And Riley hasn't lived here for six months, just after Giles discovered this stupid prophecy. Riley wanted me to quit, just leave, let Wishavos come to Sunnydale and do as he pleased." She told him bitterly.
"And you can't, you can't walk away from it. I understand that Slayer, I've known you to long. But you can't just give up on everything you can't just accept this stupid prophecy and you can't do it alone either. So, good news pet, I've come to help." He cautiously took one of her hands in his and grinned, "No need to thank me, luv."
Buffy laughed a little louder now, she smiled at him and she didn't move her hand. "Thank you, Spike."
"Now we have plans to make, we have about six weeks to figure this out. I start patrolling with you tomorrow night." He stood up letting her hand go. "I'm leaving now, I'll meet you here tomorrow at dusk. Here's my hotel number if you need me." He told her as he handed her a slip of paper.
"Spike you are full of surprises." She said softly as she watched him walk to his car.
Buffy added some hot water to her bath and soaked for a long time. Trying not to think about Riley or Caitlin or that goofy vampire who had come to rescue her. She decided that she could accept Spike's help easier then the others because he wasn't as apt to be hurt. She was never going to get involved with another person who could get hurt, it added too much stress to her life.
*********
Dusk came and sure enough Spike knocked on Buffy's door. She looked good albeit a little tired as she locked up and joined him at his car. She had on tight jeans and a lovely sweater and he could have sworn she was still in High School.
They patrolled until right before sunrise, taking 12 vamps out between them. And the vampires were bolder then usual, Giles were right they were on a suicide mission. Buffy insisted Spike stay in her spare room since it was nearly dawn, he tried to argue but she was firm. Thanking him for the help, she left the room and he settled in for the day. Once again his dreams filled of Buffy.
The nights turned into two weeks of patrolling the vamps increasing nightly. Giles had Spike move from the hotel to his apartment, but Spike still spent a lot of days at Buffy's because of the late patrolling.
A month soon passed, Spke spent most of his time with Buffy now. They had to find a way to stop this influx of vamps. He had begun to have real feelings for her. He loved the way she smiled and talked animatedly to Caitlin on the phone, he could feel the love she had for the child whenever she spoke to her, and he noticed the sadness and hushed tones when Riley would obviously get on the phone.
On a particularly heavy night of patrolling, they took out two dozen vamps between them. Buffy had fought very effectively, almost visciously at his side. That morning when they separated and went to their separate rooms he heard crying from her room. He debated going to her as he listened to the muffled sobs. Finally he could take no more, he slipped a tee shirt on over his boxers and crept into her room. He found her huddled in a ball her face buried in the pillow.
"Buffy." He called to her quietly, stroking her hair gently.
She rolled over, her eyes swollen and red rimmed. "Spike." His name was spoken softly.
"What's wrong, luv?"
"There are too many of them coming. By the time he gets here, I can't fight them all, Spike. We can't fight them all. I'm going to leave her, Caitlin will end up without a Mother, and Riley, he'll never forgive me." She sobbed softly.
"You aren't going to die, Buffy. I won't let you, you just need to relax, forget things for awhile. Lay back, just forget everything for tonight, pretend everything in perfectly normal." He lie her back in the bed pulling the covers up around her.
Spike noticed that she was looking at him oddly, he frowned slightly. "Buffy, what is it?"
"Make me forget, Spike. Just for tonight, make me forget it all." She sat up and leaned towards him. Her eyes boring into his as her lips lightly brushed his.
"But...Riley." He said softly as he gently pushed her away from him.
"I love Riley, but I can't have him anymore then I can have Angel. Riley is a wonderful man with a wonderful soul, but what I do hurts him, I won't do that. And Angel is a wonderful vampire with a beautiful soul, that he would lose if we were together. But you Spike, I can't hurt you." She said as she kissed him again.
Spike gently pushed her away again, then looked into those eyes, those damn eyes, how much resistance was expected from one vampire? He took her in his arms then and pulled her close, his lips finding hers in a deep kiss. She eagerly returned the kiss, pausing to help him rmove the tee shirt.
Their lovemaking was gentle and slow, there were no declarations of deep love, just an easy companionship of two people who needed each other. Spike smiled down at Buffy as she slept in his arms, a small smile on her lips.
He kissed the top of her tousled hair, his last thought before he gave into sleep was that she was wrong, of course she didn't know it, but yes, she *could*hurt him.
Buffy woke first, she stretched and her arm hit something, something smooth and muscled, "Riley" she thought with a smile. Then turning over she saw Spike, suddenly the events of the night before came back to her. She sighed deeply then allowed herself to smile at him. He looked very vulnerable as he slept, none of his cockiness showed while he slept, he looked peaceful. She moved to get up, but hesitated and ran a gentle finger across his prominent cheekbone, he stirred slightly and burrowed deeper into the pillow. She smiled at him again as she went to shower.
The hot water felt good as she stood against the shower wall, her eyes closed thinking about her very messed up life. Well there would only be two more weeks of it anyway, she somehow felt that this was it, her time was up. She and Spike had been killing vamps right and left and more kept coming, Wishavos would show up and the Slayer would die in a fire, it was in the prophecy. She was going to miss Caitlin, and Riley. But distancing herself from them was the only way she could get through this. She loved them and she couldn't go on hurting them, her death would hurt yes, but then the pain would be over, they would learn to go on. Yes this was the best way, to do it alone
Only she wasn't really alone now, Spike was here. Spike, she knew she should feel guilty over last night, but she kept thinking that maybe Giles was right, just a little bit of happiness before she died. And Spike was a good friend, he held her and comforted her and he when she died he'd be okay with it because he was really just doing this because he liked a good fight, and maybe the sex was an extra for him. But he didn't care enough to be hurt and thats what she needed right now.
She finished showering and entered the bedroom to get dressed. Spike watched her through slitted eyes, he had worried that he would find her a guilty mass of tears this morning, but she looked okay. She looked *too* okay in fact. "Good morning." He said lazily over the blowdryer.
She turned to smile at him, "Good morning. I'm sorry if the hairdryer woke you."
"It's okay." He got up and walked towards the bathroom not bothering to cover himself, Buffy blushed slightly as he walked by. Then laughed to herself, there really was no reason for modesty now.
She heard the shower turn on as she walked downstairs to the kitchen. She fixed some toast and bacon for herself and sat out a mug for Spike's blood. She busied herself straightening up around the living room.
Spike found her staring at a family picture of herself with Riley and Caitlin. He lay a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned and looked at him and what he saw scared him. He could tell in her eyes she'd given up, she'd accepted her impending death. She was saying goodbye to everyone around her.
"Slayer, maybe when this is over, you can work it all out?" He asked hoping for some kind of positive response.
She shook her head, "Spike you know how it's gonna end this time. We keep staking more and more vamps, they keep coming. I just want to take Wishavos out with me." She stated it simply, no tears, no emotion of any kind.
"Slayer, I told you I'm not going to let you die." He spoke adamantly putting his hands on her shoulders and spinning her around to face him.
She smiled then, a small, sweet smile, lifting one hand to caress his cheek, she spoke softly "Spike, I appreciate all of your help, but this time I feel it. But there are things I need you to do....after. Because Giles won't be able to, I know him and he'll be too upset."
Spike shook his head no repeatedly, "Buffy, this is silly. You'll be fine."
"Please, Spike." She asked softly taking his hand to sit beside her on the couch.
She sighed and began to speak. "I need you to make sure that Riley knows just how much I loved him. Let him know that I never stopped no matter how it seemed. And let Caitlin know how much I loved her, give her this for me." She told him as she removed a beautiful cross necklace from around her neck and handed it to him.
"Buffy....." Spike interjected, but she held her hand up and he was quiet.
"I want Giles to have my Slayer diaries. Maybe it will give him a deeper understanding of me and perhaps let him know how much he meant to me. Please help my Mom through this the best you can and let her know I always thought of her even when it seemed I didn't." She paused took another deep breath and continued, "Tell Willow and Xander that I love them and appreciate everything they've done for me over the years."
"Okay, I'll do it, but it's going to way into the future, Buffy. You have plenty of time to plan this." He told her in a soft voice.
:"One more thing, Spike."
"Yes." He dreaded this part he knew what was coming, she hadn't mentioned the Poof yet so he knew it was coming.
"Angel." She said his name with an almost reverance.
"Yes."
"I need you to give this to him," She pulled the steriling cross that Angel had given her when they met, out of her pocket and handed it to him. "Tell him I loved him always and it's time to stop thinking about what might have been and if he broods when he hears about my death I'll come back to haunt him." She let out a soft laugh.
"Fine, I'll do it." He said with a grin as he took the necklace by the chain and stuck it in his duster pocket with the one for Caitlin.
"Buffy,"
"Hmm."
"I have to tell you that I don't think Angel would mind being haunted by you." He smiled at her eyes twinkling.
"Thank you, Spike." She sighed and leaned to kiss his cheek. "Thank you for everything."
She stood up and walked towards the kitchen, "Come on, you need to eat so we can go kill vamps tonight."
He followed her into the kitchen trying not to show how upset he was at her attitude, how at the same time he was proud she'd chosen him to deliver her last wishes, he would just have to make sure that she lived a long time prophecy or no prophecy.
*****
Early the following morning.............
"That's a record." Buffy told Spike as she flopped down on the couch.
"48 vamps in one night. I'd say so. Just wish one of them would give up something on Wishavos." He told her as she sat down beside her.
Spike brought his hand to her face to examine a nasty looking bruise, and a cut under her eye. "Let me fix that for you." He told her standing up.
"It's okay, just sit with me." She asked taking his hand and pulling him back down on the couch.
He obeyed, putting an arm around her and pulling her closer, placing a kiss in her hair. She turned her face towards him, and smiled softly. he placed a gentle kiss on her lips cautiously. She returned it surprising him, they had not mentioned what had happened the day before, all night. He didn't want to push her.
The kisses became more intimate as he gently kissed her bruises, she ran her hands thorugh his hair anxiously. He picked her up in one swift move and headed towards the bedroom.
After, as she lay sleeping, he cursed himself, how could he have done this? He'd fallen in love with the Slayer.