The One and Only
Disclaimer: Characters - not mine, strictly Joss et. al. I’m just borrowing until I get a life.
Author’s note: Takes place about two years after "Graduation Day." Doyle never died, and Parker never existed. Ah, the wonders of fiction...
Kate scanned the crowd as she entered the coffeehouse. No crowds of women were grouped around a hidden focal point, so he wasn't here. He hadn't said for sure he would be, and God knows he wasn't the most reliable person even when he did promise something, but telling herself these things didn't help. She wanted him to be here, and he wasn't, so it hurt.
She decided to take a seat at the bar, the better to spot him when, if, he came in the door. Since she knew she was an attractive woman (to everyone but him, dammit!), she wanted a stool away from any unattached men, so she couldn't give him any excuses to leave on the grounds of jealousy (hah!). This did not, however, stop the unattached males from seeking her out.
"I'm sorry, is this seat taken?"
The request was polite, but a little distant. Kate looked up at a pair of anxious blue eyes and decided if this guy was trying to make a pass, he'd hyperventilate before he got to any of the gory
details."No, help yourself," she replied, hitching her stool over just a bit to allow him some room, and to make her disinterest clear. She flagged down a waitress and ordered a cappuccino, allowing herself a little smirk at her new companion's choice of a double espresso. Like this guy needs extra amps, she thought.
"You keep checking your watch," her companion said a few minutes later. "Are you waiting for someone too?"
"Umm, sort of. That is, he may come, he wasn't sure," Kate usually felt uncomfortable admitting her unequal footing in this relationship, but it was easier to explain to a guy. Wasn't it what they all wanted anyway, the upper hand?
"I'm Kate, by the way," she added, as an afterthought.
"Riley," he said, pointing at himself, "and I know how you feel," the anxious young man confessed. "My girlfriend isn't too reliable either. Either she has some strange excuse why she can't go out, or she shows up late, or leaves without a word. She was supposed to be here a half-hour ago, but here I am, alone again. Except for you, of course," he added politely.
"My boyfriend is really a great guy," she hastened to assure her new friend. "Well, except I'm not sure I can call him that. My boyfriend, that is, not a guy. It's how I think of him, but I'm not so sure he feels the same way. He was in a bad relationship, and he's really gun-shy, so he's kind of hard to get close to."
"My girlfriend too. Her last boyfriend dumped her 'because he loved her so much,' if you can buy that as a good reason. And how can any other guy compete with that?" he asked a little angrily. "I mean, this guy walks, 'for her own good,' when things get a little too rough. Doesn't that make any guy who sticks it out a selfish pig?"
"I'm sure she doesn't see you that way," Kate reassured him. "She's probably just not sure if she's ready to trust again."
"Her friends all seem to know everything about this guy, and her life, and what she wants out of it, but they won't let me in, and neither will she," he continued, staring into his espresso. "We came to LA so I could meet her dad, and spend a little time together, to get closer, but she keeps going off without me, and she won't tell me why."
"Oh, I know how that one goes," Kate commiserated. "My boyfriend can disappear for days at a time, and he doesn't have a clue why it would bother me. Even when it finally dawns on him I'm pissed, he still won't tell me. I always wonder if he did that to her too, or is it because I'm not her, and after a while he just can't bear it, so he takes off? It's not like he could tell me that." She glanced quickly at the door again.
"Her friends keep telling me to just give her time," Riley said, drumming his fingers anxiously. "Like it's going to get any better. She can't let go of the past, and I don't think she wants to. They all want her to her mom likes me much better than him, or so I've been told. And her friends all say I'm just what she needs to have a normal life. She even says that, I just don't think it's a compliment when it comes from her."
"Don't even talk about normal lives to me," Kate warned. "My guy is always going on about how he wanted his old girlfriend to have a normal life like he couldn't give her, and he can't get close to anyone else for the same reason. The only ones he'll open up to at all are his partner and secretary, and they won't tell me squat. Wait, no, I take that back. His secretary knows his ex, and she told me to hang it up, I'll never replace her. Beyond that, he's a mystery man. He doesn't have a normal life because he doesn't want one, not without her."
"Why do you keep trying?" the young man asked softly, searching for an answer within himself at the same time.
"I keep thinking I can save him," she replied honestly. "It's funny, he always says his job is saving other people, but he can't save himself from her."
The street lamps were just starting to light up in the gathering dusk. The streets were crowded with tourists and residents alike, so it was no surprise two people not looking where they were going would bump into each other. No surprise, that is, except to them.
"Buffy," he said softly, as if she would vanish, the way she always did in his dreams. His hands went up to catch hold of her, even as his mind was telling him he didn't have the right anymore.
"Angel," she whispered back as her eyes drank him in. Two long, lonely years had left her mark on her, she knew. But somehow they had also touched his supposedly ageless beauty. Not that he was any less handsome in her eyes, but..."You look older. How is that possible?" Her hand gently stroked his cheek before she could stop herself.
"Two very long years without you," he admitted readily. He may have had a hard time getting out "I love you" the first time, but since then he had never masked his love, or need, for her.
Her hand dropped back down to her side and she took a step backward to remove herself from his arms. "Your choice," she said crisply, trying to hide how much it hurt to be standing alone again.
Angel dropped his eyes for a moment, then looked at her again with his heart glowing from their dark depths. "I know, but that doesn't mean I didn't miss you every moment."
Before she could reply, he tried to change the subject. "What are you doing here?"
"LA-here, or here-here?" Buffy asked, pointing to the coffeehouse door. "LA-here because I needed to visit my dad, he was in the hospital. He's okay, " she hastened to add, touched by the instant flare of concern she saw in his eyes. His beautiful dark eyes. "Here-here because I'm meeting someone," she continued, ripping her mind away from the past, and his eyes, with great difficulty.
"Someone as in a boyfriend?" Angel asked quietly. He knew he had no right to ask, and even if the answer was yes, she was just doing what he told her to do. Still, he couldn't suppress the wince of pain when she nodded.
"How about you?" she countered lightly. "Is there some gorgeous brunette in there waiting for you? Just don't tell me it’s Cordelia."
"Her name is Kate, and I don't know if she's gorgeous or not. I never noticed. "
His second sentence gave Buffy back the breath the first had taken away. "You used to be better about the details," she teased him, trying desperately to stay cool and calm despite every fiber of her being telling her to grab him and never let go this time.
"It used to matter." He wasn't in a mood to tease, not now and not with her.
Buffy has a feeling she was standing on the edge of a great chasm and on the other side was everything she ever wanted. The only thing she ever wanted, truthfully, if she just had the courage to take the leap this time. Two years ago he'd told her he was leaving, and her pride kept her from running after him, even though she'd known he wouldn't have let her go twice. If she claimed him now, he would never leave again, but he was too insecure in his own worth to make the first move. Their future was up to her, and the look in his eyes begged her to make the right choice for both of them.
"It could matter again, if you have the courage to let me back in," she said softly, as she closed her eyes and leaped straight out over the chasm, trusting him to catch her on the other side.
"Buffy, nothing's changed." The words would have sounded reasonable on paper, but the anguished tone in her lover's voice told Buffy volumes more.
Her eyes flew open as she glared at him. "Everything has changed, Angel. I'm two years older, and all grown up now. I know what I want, and that's you. I've tried the normal life routine - I hate it. I hate keeping secrets from a guy about where I've been and where I have to go, and I hate always worrying if he's going to get hurt because he can't defend himself. And as for the whole 'creature of the night' thing, well, I don't care. I can't stop the sun from rising, and neither can you, so we'll just have to deal. And it turns out slayers can't have kids anymore than vampires, so there's a dead issue, if you'll pardon the expression. Any objections left?"
"You can't have children?" he whispered. "Buffy, I'm so sorry, I didn't know..."
"It doesn't matter, Angel," she replied impatiently. "I never planned on them anyway since you told me you couldn't. Who else would I want to have them with?"
"But I still can't make love to you," he insisted. "After two years of normal relationships, you can't tell me that doesn't matter."
They both knew what he was trying to, and trying not to, ask. "I never...my relationships have never gotten to that...I haven't, and I won't unless I can with you," she finally stammered. "And we don't know if we can or not because Willow just told me last week that no one ever finished translating that damn curse before she cast it. For all we know, the curse Miss Callendar found didn't have a happiness clause. Even if it does, we can amend it, or recast a better one or something. I was afraid to make these suggestions before, Angel, but I'm not now. We deserve a future, and even if you think you don't, you think I do, and this is the one I want."
He looked at her determined face, with so much love pouring out of her eyes he was almost blinded by the glow. He thought of the two lonely years he struggled to stay away from her, and he thought of the eternity ahead of him if he never took this chance.
"You really want to try again?" he asked softly, clasping the hand, which used to wear his ring.
Words were no longer enough, not after all this time she'd been denied her heart's desire. She used her slayer's strength to pull him to her welcoming arms, from which he would never seek release again.
"You know, I think we're too good for them," Riley concluded, waving his third double espresso dangerously close to Kate's head. "We are both good, nice people, and we deserve people who care about us, and not their old flames."
"You're right," Kate agreed in a flash of independence. "I think when and if they do show, we should torture them by fixing the two of them up. Let them see how they like being stuck with someone obsessed with an old girlfriend or boyfriend. Give them each a taste of their own medicine."
"Damn straight! Then, while they're making each other miserable, we can go get a real drink, or some dinner. You know, like normal people."
"Perfect," Kate agreed enthusiastically.
Silence reigned for a few moments, then they both spoke at the same time.
"Five more minutes?"
The End
I wrote this before they introduced either Kate or Riley, so I'll grant you they'd actually be an odd match. But, since they must leave (and yes, they must, wouldn't it be nicer if they left together? It's either that or die horribly.
Dissenting opinions (or assenting) very welcome.
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