Years In, Year Out:
Tell-tale Signs
by KNS

As it turned out, Helen had more time than she would have liked to read the journals – it was three days before Angel called to ask if they'd like to come to dinner. During those three days Helen read entry after entry in the Watchers' Diaries about young Slayers – the ones concerning pregnancy were few and far between, but reading about previous Slayers gave her an odd feeling of security, as if knowing about her predecessors somehow gave her a place among their ranks.

Giles and Mari were the perfect hosts, although Giles remained a bit formal towards her and refused to let her leave the house.

"I can take care of myself," she told him time after time, but the council head refused to let her go, and she was hesitant to insist while still in trouble on the other account.

Giles also refused to let her read the journals kept on Buffy. "That's none of your affair," he said calmly when she questioned him.

His denial of the books sent her imagination spinning. The last night she spent at their apartment she snuck into Giles' library and took all of the diaries concerning Buffy she read all through the night until she feared discovery. Only then did she return the journals and return to her room to digest what she'd learned.

When the trio showed up at the beach house that evening, Willow and Xander and their two boys were already there.

"Helen, let's go build a sandcastle," the boys cried the instant they saw her. They caught her by the hands and began to pull her along, but she planted her feet in the sand and resisted their pleas.

"I have to go inside first," she told them. "Then we'll go."

"We'll go with you," Oz offered, but she ruffled his hair and said just to wait, she'd be right back.

Giles and Mari had already gone inside. Helen walked alone into the house, feeling more nervous than she had in her entire life.

Angel was sitting with Xander and Giles in the livingroom. He looked up at her and smiled when he saw her standing in the doorway. "Hi," he greeted her easily. "I'm surprised the boys didn't drag you down to the surf."

"It's all they've been talking about all afternoon," Xander said. Although his words were friendly, his voice sounded slightly strained. "You must be one incredible sancastle builder."

Helen forced herself to laugh. "I try." Her eyes kept darting back to Angel. What was he going to do, pretend like nothing had happened? She wished things could be like that. "Well, I'm gonna go say hi to Buffy." She ducked out the door as she said that, headed down the hall before she heard their answers. Later, when (if) things settled back down to normal, she'd have to ask Angel how it felt to be close to three hundred years old.

The three women were in the kitchen, laughing and talking – until Helen came in. Then an abrupt silence fell.

"Hi," she said awkwardly.

"Hi," Buffy said, trying her best to sound normal. "How are you feeling?"

"What? Oh, fine," Helen said, catching on to her meaning. For a moment dark eyes met light, then quickly shifted away. "Buffy, I'm sorry – "

"I know," Buffy said calmly. "Mari explained everything to me."

Hesitantly Helen looked at her again. "I feel real bad about what I did."

Buffy nodded. "You should – for not trusting us. You should have known better, Helen. We would never make you leave. We're family."

Helen felt tears well up in her eyes. "I'm real sorry," she said again.

"It's alright," Buffy said, reaching out a hand to pat her shoulder. She was a little surprised when the young woman threw herself into her arms and began to sob. Buffy held her for a moment, then drew back. "No crying," she said lightly, "it'll give me a headache."

Helen giggled a little and wiped at her eyes. "Okay, okay. Do you want help with dinner or somethin'?"

"I think the boys are waiting for you," Willow said, speaking for the first time. "They've been talking about building sandcastles all day."

Over dinner Angel and Buffy explained how they'd spent the past three days tracking the creature that destroyed their car.

"So you friend's information payed off," Mari said as she sliced her steak.

"Like a charm," Buffy answered. "We found him in an abandoned building downtown. Would you please pass the salt?"

Xander handed her the shaker. "How did she find him?"

Angel answered for Buffy because her mouth was full. "She cross checked the internet server with names of people who'd bought supplies necessary for making that kind of a bomb."

Willow frowned. "Really? I would have though he'd be more careful than that. Who was he anyway?"

"Some half-demon assassin," Buffy shrugged. "I should have known Riley wouldn't have shown up for sentimental reasons."

"He came to warn you, but to see you, too," Angel said. "He could have used the phone just to talk to you."

Helen could feel the tension thickening. "So was he hard to kill?"

"Nah," Buffy said, stabbing a pea with her fork. "Angel had him pretty much down before I even got there."

Angel grinned lopsidedly. "That's one way to put it."

As she scooped the last of her baked potato out of its jacket, Willow asked doubtfully, "It just seems like that assassin was smart – I can't believe he just let himself be caught like that."

"It did take three days," Buffy pointed out.

"May I be excused?" OZ asked, looking to his mother.

"Can we go outside with Helen and play on the sand?" little Angel added.

"No," Buffy and Giles said simultaneously, earning them the others' immediate attention.

Buffy glanced at Angel. "It's dark outside. Helen can't go out alone."

"What?" Helen demanded. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"Yes, you're excused," Xander told his sons, "but go play upstairs or in the livingroom."

Mari pushed back her chair, set her napkin beside her plate. "I'll go outside with you, guys."

"No. I'll take them out," Helen said, also standing up.

"Helen, sit down," Giles said in a tone that brooked no argument. At the same time he nodded encouragement to Mari.

Helen looked at him, furious, but sat down.

"Come on, boys," Mari said.

The two children looked nervously from the woman waiting for them to the one seated at the table looking furious.

"Go on," Willow encouraged.

The moment the door shut on the trio Helen turned on Giles. "What the hell do you think you're doin'? You can't tell me what to do."

"Take it easy, Helen," Angel advised. "Let us explain."

"Have you thought about what you want to do with this pregnancy?" Buffy asked the young Slayer.

"What does that have to do with anythin'?" Helen demanded. "I can take care of this by myself. I don't need a babysitter all the time."

"Which really doesn't fit with the story you gave us about being afraid of being forced to leave," Xander pointed out, a bit sarcastically.

"Did she blab that to everyone?" Helen asked angrily.

"I know you think that you can do this alone, Helen, but you can't," Buffy told her evenly.

"And it's not all the time," Angel added. "During the day you're fine, but in the early morning, late afternoon, and especially at night, you need Buffy or me to go with you if you go out."

"No way," Helen said flatly. "There's no way I'm doing that twenty four - seven for the next nine months."

"Yes, you are," Buffy said, anger creeping into her voice. "If you go out alone you'll be a moving target for every creature that hates the light."

"Which is pretty convenient should I decide at the last minute I don't want this child, huh? You know all about that," she flung back.

Willow dropped the glass she had been bringing to her lips. It hit the table and shattered into a hundred pieces.

That was the only sound in the room.

"I'm sorry," Helen said quickly. "Oh god, Buffy, I'm sorry – "

"Leave," Angel said between gritted teeth. "Right now. Before I do something I'll regret later."

No one else said a word.

Helen went.

The full moon and the bright lights from the house cast enough luminance that the boys saw Helen walking towards them. Mari turned at their cries of pleasure, and a slight frown appeared on her face. "Is Angel or Buffy coming out?"

Helen knelt down beside the boys and the castle they were building. It was fairly impressive as far as sandcastles went – there were turrets and windows and parapets, and a wall around the entire construction. "Wow, you two *have* been paying attention to me," she told the boys, who were pleased to have her praise. More quietly she said to Mari, "If they are, it'll only be to, like, kick my ass. I just accused Buffy of miscarryin' on purpose."

"Tell me you didn't," Mari said in a low voice. It was as close to anger as Helen had ever heard her come.

"It was an accident," Helen offered, adding a handful of sand to the castle wall. "And that's what it said in the diaries. . . ."

"You weren't suppose to read the diaries on her," Mari said softly, so softly.

Helen wisely remained silent.

Mari took a deep breath, slowly let it out. "Those diaries are filled with untruths about her. The Watchers who wrote them had to gather their facts second hand or at a distance they also didn't care for her very much because she refused to work for the Council. Some of what they put down was pure speculation."

"And I thought I felt bad before," Helen groaned. "How am I gonna make this up to her?"

The sound of voices raised in anger floated to them from the house.

Mari stood up. "I'm going to see what's going on. Stay here, and scream bloody murder if anything happens. I'll leave the door open."

Helen nodded quickly. "Okay. Please, please tell her how sorry I am?"

It felt like hours before Helen heard the door close again. The boys had fallen asleep, their heads on her legs, and now she gently roused them. They sat up slowly, rubbing their eyes.

"Time to go, guys," she told them. "Mari's back, so I think it's safe for you to go inside."

"I don't see Aunt Mari anywhere," Oz said, climbing to his feet and looking around.

Helen helped little Angel to his feet, then turned towards the house. Odd, the outdoor lights had been shut off. "She was right here," she said, confused. "I heard her come out. Mari?" she called.

Something shifted in the corner of her eye. She whirled to face it, dropping into a fighting stance, putting the boys behind her.

"What's – " Oz began, and she motioned him to be quiet.

Again something moved, but this time it was behind her. Again she turned to face it, putting herself between whatever it was and the children. She thought she could just make out the shadow of – something. It stood upright and had arms, but other than that she wasn't sure.

"Hey Oz," she said calmly, "I want you to do somethin' for me."

Xander heard the front door slam shut. "Not now, boys," he

called."Let them come inside if they want to," Buffy said. "Send them upstairs with Helen."

"Helen's outside with them," Mari said. "She's probably bringing them in."

Xander turned to Angel. "See? She doesn't listen to you for five minutes," he said, grimly triumphant.

"Why have the outer lights been shut off?" Giles asked, looking out the window.

The group looked at each other.

"I – " Buffy began.

The lights abruptly went out, along with every other thing that worked on electricity.

"You've got to be kidding," Xander said into the darkness. "Now?"

"I don't think you got your assassin yet, Buffy," Willow said calmly.

Buffy nodded even though no one could see her. "I'm getting that."

"I'll get Helen and the boys," Angel said.

Suddenly the front door was flung open and something small came running in. "Mommy?" it asked, sounding scared.

"Oz? I'm here," Willow answered, walking towards where his voice had come.

Buffy saw something flash towards her out of the darkness. Angel moved almost as fast as she did, shoving Xander down an instant after she hit Willow.

"Get down!" Giles shouted to Mari, who was across the room from him.

Again something came out of the darkness Buffy rolled with Willow to the left, looked back and saw a smoking spot on the carpet where her head had been only a moment before.

"Laser rifle," Angel said, and Buffy could hear him and Xander scrambling around to avoid blasts.

"So much for your friend," Xander said sarcastically.

"We thought we got him!" Buffy returned, then yelped when she hit her foot on the couch. "No one's right all the time!"

"Willow, light!" Giles called.

Willow knew a half-dozen spells for light she cast the first one that came to mind, and a blue light enveloped the room. "Oz?" she called.

"I've got him," Mari returned.

Slowly Buffy peaked around the sofa. The only thing she saw were Xander's shoes. "Angel?" she asked softly.

"I don't see anything," he returned. "Giles?"

"Nothing," the ex-librarian answered.

Xander made a quick dash between two chairs, and nothing happened.

With extreme care Angel stood up. "No one's here."

Buffy slowly got to her feet. "Someone was a minute ago. The carpet proves it."

Willow went to Mari and picked up Oz. "Why would the assassin not finish the job?" she asked. "We were easy targets."

"Mommy, Helen needs Aunt Buffy and Uncle Angel," Oz said.

Helen was almost at the end of her rope. There were three creatures – not human, as best she could tell – surrounding her and little Angel on three sides. The ocean waited at their backs, and already the child was up to his knees in cool water. So far the creatures had made only half hearted attacks on her, had settled for driving them back to the water's edge. Even now they continued to press forward, but Helen was reluctant to go back much further for Angel's sake – he said he could swim, but for how long? And yet she hesitated to attack the creatures full on because –

Because she wanted the child she carried to live.

She understood why Angel had tried to tell her that she couldn't go out alone. She understood why Buffy had said she wouldn't be able to take care of herself. Now she wanted nothing more than to run to them and swear she'd do whatever they said, and now she didn't have the chance.

"How you doin' back there?" she asked quietly. A creature stepped forward, and she raised her fists warningly.

"O-o-okay," the boy said, his teeth chattering from the water or fear.

"Helen, where are you?"

That was Angel's voice. "Here, we're here!" Helen tried to keep her voice calm, but the fear crept in anyway. "There are three creatures blocking me in!"

"Hang on." Buffy's voice brought her more reassurance than Angel's had. Buffy could do anything Buffy would help her.

Buffy, Angel, and Willow came towards her cautiously, each carrying both a light torch and a laser pistol. They stood a bit apart from each other, but close enough that they could bunch up should anything happen.

"Where are they?" Angel called softly.

Helen looked at the three creatures blocking her path, and the three people coming up almost directly behind them. "They're right in front of you!"

"I don't see them," Buffy muttered, moving her torch to better see the area around Helen.

Willow mumbled a few words. A bright flash of green light burst in front of them. "That's because nothing's there," she said.

Helen relaxed her stance. The creatures were suddenly gone. "What'd you do?"

"An illusion," Angel guessed.

"But why –" Buffy said, then abruptly fell silent.

Willow and Helen turned in amazement as Angel trained his pistol on Buffy.

"Angel, what are you doing?" Willow demanded.

"Let her go," Angel said roughly.

"My apologies, Angelus," a man's voice said in a silky tone. "This was never about you."

Willow put her torchlight on Buffy, illuminated both the Slayer and tall man standing behind her. His eyes were an odd orange color that blazed in the darkness he held Buffy pinned to his chest, some kind of modern weapon pressed to her temple.

Buffy's arms were trapped at her sides, the torch and pistol on the sand at her feet. She stood very, very still, and her eyes were fixed on Angel.

"And it's nothing personal, Slayer," the strange eyed man told Buffy. "It's just business."

And then he pulled the trigger of his weapon.

He was an instant too slow. Buffy let her muscles relax all at once, completely sagging against his weight, and precisely on que Angel fired at the assassin holding her. The man dropped like a stone.

Willow stepped forward to see the fallen man. His hair was brown and his features were human, but she knew if she lifted his eyelids she would see orange, unhuman eyes. "Now I think you've got your assassin,' she said, then turned to catch up her son in a giant hug.

Helen continued to stand at the water's edge, her eyes fixed on the dead assassin.

Buffy handed her pistol and torch to Angel, then went for her. "Come on, Helen, let's go inside."

Helen's glassy eyes fixed on her for a moment, unseeing, before she abruptly flung herself into Buffy's arms, mumbling and sobbing.

"Oh god, Buffy, I'm so sorry – I didn't mean it – please help me – please don't be mad, I'm sorry – I'll do whatever you want – I was so scared, I was afraid they'd hurt Angel and I couldn't stop them – and I was afraid for me – please god, don't let them take my baby –"

Buffy held her tightly, and over the young woman's shoulder her eyes locked with Angel's in silent agreement.

"We're going to work this out, Helen," she said firmly. "It's going to be fine, I swear."

The End

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