With all this tracy/screed stuff floating around, how could I resist?

	Clean Up in Aisle Seven (01/02)
			by carly

	Tracy took the canned peaches of the shelf and compared prices.  She'd
done this with just about every item she'd picked up so far and  it was
driving him crazy.
	"Just -pick- one would ya?"
	Ignoring him for the umpteenth time.  She was going to  take her time,
having only one day a week to actaully run her errands, he wasn't going to
stop her. "Screed, if it's such a bother for you, go look at the magazines
or something."
	Screed resisted the urge to stomp his feet like a spoiled child to
emphasize her tone. "They don't 'ave any un tha' Oi read."
	"What do you mean? I know I saw the new issue of  "The Hockey News"(tm) on
that rack."
	"Thems ain't mine . . . they're Vachons."
	"Mmmhmm, Mr. "I thought he got that touchdown" himself. Sure."
	"Just hurry up already!"
	"What am I hurrying for? Do you have a date?"
	Screed gave her a stern look.  "Maybe Oi do."
	"Then you'd better get going, the sun will come up in a few hours."
	"It's midnight!!"
	"Oh good!" She taunted him.  Tracy grinned at the peaches, having never
looked up at him.  "Then I've got more time than I thought."
	Screed let out an exasperated  sigh and crossed his arms.  He leanded
against the rack of canned veggies and waited.  She put down the peaches
all together then and pushed the cart away from them.  "Yer not even going
to take 'em now!"
	"Nope." Tracy said turning the corner.  "I hate peaches."
	Screed stomped after her, forgetting to contain himself. 
	Next up,  junk food.
	The tall shelves were stocked full of various kinds of cheese poofs,
pretzels, chips and of course pop.  Tracy didn't even really look at the
labels now, she just loaded her cart up with cases of Coke(tm) and
Pepsi(tm) for the thristy caffiene addicted DP's at home.
	Screed bent down to stare at a bag of BBQ flavored potato chips. "Did ye
see 'ow much cholest-frickin-al there's livin' this stuff?"
	"That's why we're buying them for Javier."
	"Ah, Oi see."  He smiled, padding after her a little more happily now.
"Do yer thug types need tha' much creamy soda?"
	"Mary started spreading around this stuff a few days ago, now we've got
thugs  sprawled on the floor going through withdrawl. It looks like a
massacre in there."
	"Oh." A thought struck him. " 'Ey does tha' mean theys be needin some
med-i-cation?"
	"Hmm?"
	"A Nightie-gale type to fix 'em up. Oi's could do that proper. And roight
glad to ob-leige."
	Tracy looked at him over her shoulder. "I know what you're thinking and I
'm telling you now to stay out of the mansion."
	" 'Ey that lil fire headed bird told  me Oi's could go there anytime Oi
wished."
	"I know she did."  Tracy frowned. "I"m going to have to have a talk with
her."  Tracy leaned all her weight against the cart now -- so weighed down
with cans of pop she couldn't move it.  "Screed, push this for me. Please?"
She added after seeing his expression. "Is there anything you wanted while
we're here?"
	"Oi hafta think about it, Oi do.  My dom-i-cile is needin' a good spit an
polish. Can we git some of tha'  smellin' sweet stuff? Tha stuff on the
telly tha says it can eat up stink?"
	Tracy nodded. "Sure."  She turned down another aisle and smiled as Screed
stopped dead in his tracks.  "What's the problem now?"
	"Oi'm not goin down there. Oi'm not."
	"Oh you're such a man.  Come on. It's harmless, I promise.  Besides, this
is  blood we're talking about. Should interest you."  She enjoyed teasing
him because he never got mad.  He actually seemed to never get the joke
when it was on him.  
	In reality, he was the only  one who would go shopping with her.
Apparently, Vachon had sworn off grocery stores since that unfortunate
lobster incident.  Nick  always made up some excuse and Lacroix jsut
laughed when she asked.  And none of the DP would come with her.  They all
wanted Mrs. Hitchcock to do it -- however she too had sworn off grocery
stores because of  that smae damn lobster.  
	Screed  walked down the exact center of  the aisle, trying not to look
directly at the pink puffed packages or the blue boxes.  Winged, or
overnight.  He shuddered.  "Can we git out o' here now?"
	Tracy laughed.  "Sorry, we need some extra absorb--"
	"Oi don't wan to 'ear it!"  He suddenly took off running down the aisle,
knocking people out of the way. 
	Tracy looked up in time to see him hit the brakes and  skid into a display
of   Macaroni and Cheese. Dropping her head into her hands, she tried not
to laugh as  several stock boys came running over to help the old sailor
out from underneath the pile. 

	end part one



	You'll have to forgive me.  I'm a little hyped up on coke(tm) and just had
a -interesting- trip throught th super market. Did another full moon happen
or is my hometown just full of weirdos?


From: Lore8132 


	Back by popular demand.


	Clean Up in Aisle Seven (02/02)
		by carly


	"Mary, I'm telling you, the Coke(tm) baterial thing only happened in
Europe. We're -not- going to die."
	"And how do you know, missy?"  Mary said putting the six pack of Coke(tm)
back down yet again. She turned and walked away then, as Carly snuck it
back into the cart.   "Put it down, Carly." Mary called from the next asile. 
	"Uh-huh."  Carly answered, ignoring her and  examining a box of Fiddle
Faddle(tm). "Oh! They've got the almond kind!"
	"The almond kind?  Get the peanut one." Ren said, bringing up the rear of
the trio of DP.  "Or just buy those gold fish things."
	"Goldfish? When there's this whole display of Fiddle Faddle(tm) calling
us?" Carly leaned her face against one of the boxes on the shelf. "Take us
home, Ren. We -need- to be eaten. Take us home! Consume us in front of the
billionth screening of  "Clue". Throw us in the hair of the DP who sit on
the floor and won't get out of the way. Ta-"
	"That'll do, you little loony." Ren said, pinching the shorter thug's arms
playfully. 
	"Hey watch it! I just got tattooed! It's sore there."
	" Wha' are you gettin' more inkin' done fer?"
	Carly and Ren turned around to see  Screed leaning against the shelves of
Crunch n' Munch (tm). "Screed, what are you doing in a -grocery- store.
They don't seel humans here, you know."
	"Nah, but they do 'ave the best selec-it-ion of squeakers roun' back ways."
	Ren and Carly were visibly not happy about that. Ren put the  wrapped
steak back down on the counter soundly.  " I -told- you not to eat that crap."
	Screed followed them down the next aisle where they found Tracy and Mary
doubled over, laughing hysterically.   Screed actually blushed, staying
back a few paces trying to avoid  the inevitable taunting.
	"Oh, I -wish- I could have seen that!" Mary said, finally dropping to here
rear on the floor.  "Oh . . god!"
	Tracy straightened when she saw Screed, trying to bite back more laughter.
Mary, having no such tact, just leaned against the wall of canned peaches
and gasped for air.  "Did they clean up all the powdered cheese?"
	"No! It looked like the aftermath of a BareNaked Ladies Concert!" Tracy
said, moving to throw and arm around Screed's shoulders.  "And all because
little words like "Kotex"  and "Super Absorbent" make Screed here scream
and run like a school girl."
	Ren and Carly were laughing now too, although they had only the slightest
inkling what was going on.  Carly moved to put another arm around Screed.
She got really close to his ear and said., "Always with Wings (tm)"
	Tracy, Mary and  Ren screamed with laughter as they whole group started
moving down the aisle.  it was suddenly becoming a war chant.
	"Super maxi!"
	"Without applicator!"
	"For light days!"
	"Moisture locking core!"
	"Summer's Eve!(tm)"
	"Midol(tm)!"
	
	Screed just marched down the aisle, female arms still around him,  as he
started humming to drown out their yelling.  It wasn't until they got to
the check out counter when the night manager of the store came stalking up
to them.  
	"Please, ladies! If you don't keep quiet, I'll have to ask you to leave."
	Screed's smile was wolfish.  " 'Ey now birdie.  Who's the blushing
red-like 'un now, eh?"
	Tracy turned her frightening smile back on the night manager, who was
already stomping away.  Carly, Mary and Ren were laughing again, this time
running away with the cart.  "Tracy got burned! Tracy got burned!"  They
sang as they tried running faster using all three of their body weight's to
push the immoveable cart.  
	They weren't succeeding.  
	Tracy was gaining on them.
	Carly let out a yelp as Tracy got ahead of her.  "Run! Run you guys!"  She
stopped, laughing so hard it took her breath away.  Screed was suddenly
behind her, lifting her over his shoulder and carrying her back to the car.
	Mary and Ren, with the far longer legs made it back to the car, but were
laughing to hard to handle the keys properly.  After dropping them a fifth
time,  both blonds hit the ground and tried to stop laughing as Tracy
decended on them.  "Oh it's -funny- is it?" Tracy joked, waving her hands
in their faces.
	Screed had brought Carly  down off his shoulder, but still held her inches
from the ground, making her swing her legs in vain.  They were both
laughing too, as Tracy turned to them.  "And what to -you- think is so funny?"
	Carly bit her lip, suddenly finding herself next to Mary and Ren in a
'about-to-be-grounded' row.  They bit back their laughter as Tracy turned
back to Screed who was grinning like the cat who got the cream. Or in this
case,  the carouche who got the cat.   She punched him on the arm, knowing
that it wouldn't affect him any. In fact, he just stared at  her until she
turned around and got in the car.  
	As Tracy started the engine, and popped open the power locks, Screed
leaned in close to the three trapped DP. His smile was huge.  
	" Jock itch."

the end


*snickers* well, diet coke(tm) will do that too you!!

carly



Lore/ Lilandre 	       
IM :   Lore8132				     
The Dark Perk Mansion : http://www.welcome.to/dpmansion   
Send you fic to : Lilandre@WitchsBrew.zzn.com	                           
"Shop smart. Shop S-mart!"			     
"Hail to the King, Baby!"			     	



  

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