The Dark Pink Ninja's mind has been hard at work and has spewed forth, A
Story!
Hey, don't all run away, it's not that bad! I promise, no 12,000 year old
taking Siamese cats, no Three Stooges and no near vampire attacks on cows in
this one, okay?
I do not own any of the Forever Knight characters who appear in the following
tale. My permission to archive it is granted to whomsoever shall deem it
archiveable!
Now submitted for the approval of the Dark Perks, on the occasion of their
first anniversary, I humbly present,
Tell it to the Judge
Part 1/1
Ren Miller
2/99
"That's her Officers, right there, the blond."
Mary Jenkins Godmother of the Dark Perks looked up from her PC toward her open
bedroom door with glazed eyes. She blinked twice to clear them and was able
to make out the pink beehive hairdo of Dark Perk mansion's housekeeper Mrs.
Hitchcock who's skinny crooked finger was frantically wagging in her direction
as she babbled on to the two enormous men dressed entirely in black who
flanked her.
"I knew she'd come to no good. Always drinking too much coffee and sitting in
front of that contraption typing away and giggling like a hyena. I said it
would all end this way, yes I did, oh yes I did!"
"Excuse us Miss, are you Mary Jenkins?" One of the MIB's asked.
"Ummm, yes." Mary batted her eyelashes and offered a smile.
"*Cousin* Mary?"
"Yes."
"You'll have to come with us Miss."
"But . . ."
"Please don't give us a hard time Ma'am, we don't like to use force but if we
have to we will."
"But, who are you?"
"We're the FANFIC police." In perfect unison both men pulled out badges that
identified them.
"No, no all my stories have disclaimers, always! I haven't done anything!
Have I?" Mary glanced around desperately looking for her thugs or even the
demons, anyone who might be of assistance. She dug through pages of
unfinished stories that lay strewn haphazardly around her desk, "See, here"
she pointed, "here see, disclaimer!"
Shaking his head the MIB who had so far been silent replied, "Your disclaimers
aren't the problem Ma'am, now if you'll please come with us."
"But, I haven't done anything!" Mary looked wildly around for a possible
escape.
"Tell it to the Judge, blondie!" With that the FANFIC officers each grabbed
an arm of Mary's chair and carried her out with Mrs. Hitchcock leading the
way.
******************************************************************************
********************
"All rise! The court of the honorable Judge Trudy is now in session"
Mary watched with wide blue eyes as Judge Trudy made her way to the bench.
She sat down and straightened the lace collar she wore above her black robe
then sharply slammed her gavel down on the desk, "I know you've been sworn in
and I have read the complaints. First witness."
"Excuse me, your Honor?" Mary politely raised her hand.
"Shut up." The Judge snapped.
"I'm sorry, excuse me?" Mary stammered in confusion.
"I said shut up young lady, you'll have your chance to talk. I want to hear
the Complainants first!"
"Complainants?" Mary was flabbergasted then her jaw dropped in shock when she
saw the witness. "Screed?"
The bald Carouche stopped briefly in front of Mary and sneered then he turned
and stepped behind the table that was to Mary's left. "I's 'ere yer 'oner's"
Judge Trudy frowned and checked her notes, "Yes, Mr. *Screed* is it?"
With a shrug and a lopsided grin Screed confirmed this information.
"Very well Mr. Screed explain your complaint against the defendant."
"It's li is yer onor's. Is one ere," he pointed a dirty finger in Mary's
general direction, "star's ta writin' a bit of a tale she does. Ad me all
fired up she did. Ad me a bird, an a ri fine one at tha. Wus ri on the verge
o gettin' somethin' goin' I wuz. Why I tell's ya yer honor's the things wha I
wuz gonna do wi tha pretty bird...."
"Please Mr. Screed, just get on to your complaint."
"Oh, yah, ri then. Well, one day, there ain no more ta be foun! She lef me
anging she did! So wha's ol Screed ta do I asks? Jus sit in me sewer an wai?
Fer ow long? I wants ta know the bleedin end o the tale!"
"So, Ms. Jenkins started a story that featured you and never finished it, is
that correct?"
"Tha's ri! Lef me 'anging she did. Can't be ri, I say's!"
"Thank you Mr. Screed, you may be seated. Next witness."
Still muttering about how close he had come to 'gettin' somethin' goin'',
Screed stepped aside to allow a woman dressed in green hospital scrubs to take
his place. Her long wavy hair which was pulled back from her face and held in
place with a matching green scrunchie gave her identity away.
"You are Natalie Lambert?" The judge squinted out over her glasses.
"Yes, Dr. Natalie Lambert."
"And you also have a complaint against this defendant, Mary Jenkins."
Natalie turned and sent a scathing glare in Mary's direction, "I certainly do
your honor. She started a story that had me trudging out to that horrible
monstrosity they call Dark Perk Mansion to check one of her new recruits to
make sure that the girl didn't have a concussion. I did and then she had me
try to find my way out all alone!"
"And . . ." Judge Trudy encouraged.
"She left me wandering around that place! I'm still wandering! The last I
remember I was climbing down some sort of ladder in the dark. I've been
trying to find my way out of that horrible place ever since but she has never
finished the story! She left me there to ROT! She should be punished, she
should be locked up and never allowed to start another story until she gets me
OUT OF THAT HOUSE!" Natalie's face was red her eyes flashing with anger.
"Thank you Dr. Lambert, you may be seated."
"No, you don't understand, it's horrible there. You've got to make her finish
the story, get me out of there! I ... I can't take it any more! I've been
there for months now, my cat . . . he hasn't been fed since I left! The
litter box I . . . I've got to get out of there!"
Judge Trudy shot the Bailiff a look and he hurried over to the still babbling
Natalie and gently escorted her away.
Crossing her arms over her chest Mary snorted and mumbled, "Dark Perk Mansion
is *not* a monstrosity!"
The Judge looked up from the notes she was scribbling down, frowned at Mary
then barked out, "Next witness!"
The double doors to the court room swung open and a tall man dressed entirely
in black strode proudly in. The cape he wore billowed out behind him like a
black specter. The spurs on the heels of his thigh high black leather boots
jingled as he made his way to the front of the court room. The ornately
carved handle of the silver saber that hung sheathed at his hip glittered as
though it had a life of it's own. He glanced neither right nor left as he
went, his dark masked gaze directly and only on the flabbergasted Judge.
Completely ignoring the witness stand he stopped directly in front of the
Judge's desk, then elegantly bowed deeply to the now panting Judge Trudy.
When he straightened he presented her with a blood red rose that he had
apparently pulled from the air. With shaking fingers she took it from his
gloved hand, smiled, and got lost in the depths of the dark eyes that stared
out at her from behind that black mask.
After a moment the Bailiff politely, but loudly, cleared his throat shaking
the normally stoic Judge from her reverie.
Shaking her head and blushing as she checked her notes Trudy managed to
sputter, "Ahh, yes, ummm you are Mr. . . "
"I am Zorro," His voice was deep and tinged with a slight Spanish accent. "and
I come here today to bear witness against the atrocities committed by this
woman!" He whirled, cape flaring out around him, and pointed a black gloved
finger directly at Mary, "She is cruel I tell you, cruel! She must be
punished!"
"Me? What did I do?" Mary was genuinely confused.
"She started a story," Zorro turned and addressed the Judge, "and introduced
me to my true love. The woman I have searched the world for, my soul mate."
"Go on." Whispered the smitten Judge.
Looking down, the brim of his black hat hiding the pain in his eyes Zorro
finished, "We were together, she was . . . fondling my bullwhip . . . and
then," those black eyes flashed back up, "and then there was no more story!
Nothing, she discarded me like so many others she has started with and simply
tossed aside. So I wait, I wait for the end of the story."
The Judge sniffled into a tissue and took a long drink of water, "Thank you
Zorro, thank you for that beautiful story!"
With a flourish Zorro bowed again and using a movement too quick for the human
eye to catch slashed a Z into the front of the Judge's desk then he was gone.
"Oh please!" Mary exclaimed rolling her eyes, "He just met her! They hardly
knew each other, soul mate my . . ."
She was interrupted by a loud slam of the gavel, "You will mind your manners
missy or I will hold you in contempt!"
With a "Hurrumph!" Mary crossed her long legs and swung one back and forth in
irritation.
A soft 'whoosh' sound and Nicholas Knight appeared behind the witness stand.
After Zorro's presentation, the Judge was not easily impressed. She raised an
eyebrow and said, "And you might be?"
"I am Nick Knight."
"And you too have a complaint against Ms. Jenkins?"
"I do, your honor. She and her twin sister . . ."
"She has a twin?" The Judge was confused.
"It's a long story." Mary offered.
"Back in July they showed up at my loft and told me that they needed my help.
That they were in trouble."
"And then?"
"Nothing! Not another word! I've been wondering ever since what was going to
happen after I let two young blondes up into my loft all alone with just me.
I was going to play them some music, light a little fire, put on my black silk
jammies. . ."
"That will be quite enough Mr. Knight."
"AS IF!" Mary snorted.
"So Mr. Knight the point of your complaint is that Ms. Jenkins started yet
another story that she never finished, is that correct?"
"Well, yes though I'm sure that in some way it was my fault. My . . . my evil
nature you see. I have tried so very hard to overcome my . . . "
Another quick look from the Judge at the Bailiff and Nick, still angsting, was
escorted out.
The tired Judge removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. Replacing them she
addressed the defendant, "Miss Jenkins, do you have *anything* to say in your
defense?"
Mary brightened visibly.
"Anything that I'll *believe* Miss Jenkins."
Mary looked down.
"I thought not. Judgment for the Plaintiffs. Miss Jenkins I can think of
only one punishment severe enough to teach you a lesson have you ever seen the
film 'A Clockwork Orange'?"
Mary hid a smile and answered seriously, "Yes, your honor. It's a horrible
film, please don't force me to watch it!"
"Don't even go there missy, I know it's one of your favorite films, I have
your DP bio right here! No, no I not going to force you to watch *that* film.
You see, we have an endless loop copy of "DANCES WITH WOLVES!"
Mary shrieked, "NO, NO not that! Please I'll finish my stories I swear! No
more starting new stories until I finish all of the ones I left hanging! I
promise!"
Strong hands closed around her and she struggled valiantly. Suddenly they
began to shake her and say her name over and over, "Mary, Mary?"
"Mary, it's me Ren. Come on wake up!"
"Wha?" Mary blinked and rubbed her eyes.
"You were having a dream Twinner! I heard you in my room and came over and
found you slumped over the keyboard moaning and screaming something about
"Dances With Wolves." Don't you hate that movie?"
"Wow, what a dream! It was horrible and it was so real! I was being punished
for not finishing my stories, they were going to force me to watch an endless
loop of "Dances With Wolves"!" Mary started to shake just thinking about it.
Ren stifled a giggle, now was probably not the time.
"Ya know, I think I'll finish your birthday story Twinner!" Mary announced
suddenly, "As a matter of fact I think I'll finish up "Tracy Bird" too!"
Ren yawned, "Well, okay but I'm going back to bed. Have fun." She hugged
Mary and headed off.
As the door shut Mary turned back to her computer and started to open Ren's
Birthday Story then paused, "Hmmm, that dream sure would be a kewl story."
With a wicked grin and a maniacal laugh she started to type.
-End-
Happy anniversary Dark Perks, long may we reign!
Hugs,
Auntie Ren
The Dark Pink Ninja
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