A few nights ago, Cousin Mary and I came up with a challenge to kill our boredum. Tracy/Screed fic containing a
canary, a tattoo, and goose down feathers. I can't really explain how
something like this occured from requirements like that... but hey, at
least it's not adult fic.
Disclaimers: If I owned any of them, I don't think I'd have this
disclaimer here. I'm just having non-copyright infringing fun!
This can be archived at the fanfic and ftp sites, in addition to any DNP
or DP site. Anyone else, ask me first. =P
=========================
"Whither Canada?"
by Evil Cousin Tiff
December 1999
=========================
"Oh, crap."
"What's the matter?"
"I broke it, again."
"Broke what?"
"You don't want to know."
"No, I do, what did you break?"
"The Infindibulator."
"The Infindibu-wah?"
"The Infindibulator! Don't you watch Pinky and the Brain? It's going to
be my
means of taking over the world!"
Nick began to help Tracy pick up the broken figure that had fallen off
her desk.
"I really doubt you'll be able to take over the world with Legos ,
Tracy."
"Yeah, well, you just simply doubt my power and shall pay dearly for it
in the future," Tracy replied giving her partner an evil glare towards
the end of her sentence. Nick laughed softly at what he thought was
supposed to be funny. How little did he realize that it was the means for
her to take over the world!
---
Later that Evening, below Screed's Underground Layer
"Ya broke tha Infibibbylator, ag'in, Tracy? Did ya fix it?" Screed
asked.
"Yeah, it's okay. Nick still thought it was only made from Legos so
I don't think it was actually damaged. Subliminal messages still being
transmitted without a problem."
"Good, 'cause Natty-lie will kill us both iffen she 'as ta fix tha
thingee-wotsit tha' sends tha sublimey messyges. Ya know 'ow Naughty-lie
is."
The two of them stood in the main room of their world domination
headquarters. The wall in front of them contained a banner with a picture
of the world being held by an iron fist. Next to the picture it read,
"The VetterScreed Revolution: It's Right, Whether You Like It Or Not."
The other walls of the room were covered with TV and computer monitors,
keeping watch over the entire world.
"Okay, so anything occur while I was at work?" Tracy asked.
"Nuthin' much. Urs an' Miklos captured Vachonetti an' er workin' on 'is
reconditionin'. 'E'll be good en ready soon."
"Excellent. All we need now is Nick and LaCroix. When we get them, we
shall control all of the fandom!"
"An' aft'r tha fandom, we'll 'ave tha world!"
The two conspirators threw their heads back and laughed an evil laugh
that came from deep within their bellies.
When they finished, they observed the monitors. It was Reese they were
watching. He was getting a tattoo. A tattoo of the VetterScreed
Revolution symbol, the Earth being clutched by an iron fist. The
Infindibulator worked! The hapless police captain's mind was subject to
the messages being transmitted through the little object that looked like
a simple trinket sitting on Tracy's desk.
On another monitor, they witnessed Urs and Miklos slowly reconditioning
Vachon to the "new order."
Miklos held the small bird cage in Vachon's face. "You like the little
birdie, don't you, Javier!?!" He yelled at the Spaniard. The little
yellow bird inside just sang to its heart's content. "Say you like the
birdie!!!"
Vachon, tired of all the yelling, gave in, "I like the birdie. Okay? The
birdie is cute, and it sings a sweet song. Is that what you wanted to
hear? Huh, Miklos? I LIKE THE CANARY!"
"Very good, Vachon," Miklos replied. He then turned to Urs, who had been
standing there, "Fetch the tortoise!"
"No, not the tortoise, Urs," Vachon begged. "Anything but the tortoise!"
Tracy and Screed were pleased by Vachon's progress. Only one day and he
was already up to the tortoise level.
It wasn't long before both of them realized that Natalie wasn't around.
The doctor turned mad scientist working for the revolution was nowhere to
be found. When, during this time of day, she would be working in her lab,
creating evil devices to be used when the take over occurs.
---
Meanwhile at the Morgue
Natalie entered, very nervous. She never thought she'd actually be doing
this, but there she was in the morgue, standing in front of Grace and an
unknown person sitting in a swivel chair facing away from her.
"Did you bring it?" Grace asked.
"Yeah, here it is," Natalie replied, pulling out a big pillow from her
bag.
"Is it goose down?" The person in the chair said, in a deep French
accent.
"Uh-huh, with a silk cover, just like you asked," Natalie answered,
handing it to Grace.
Grace turned the chair around to reveal Sydney in the chair, moving as
the woman put the pillow down for him to sit on. Sydney quickly made
himself comfortable.
"I brought the plans just like commanded, Sydney," Natalie started,
pulling them out of her bag, also.
"With these, we can stop the take over!" Grace squealed.
"And the devices you created?" Sydney asked.
"Ha! Like they'll work... the Infindibulator is nothing but a bunch of
Legos I put together! I can't really explain Reese's urge to be
tattooed. I think the stress has finally got to him."
"Wonderful! You have done well as a mole for La Resistance, Natalie. We
shall win the day against the VetterScreed Revolution!"
"Viva La Resistance!" Grace exclaimed.
"Viva La Resistance!" Natalie and Sydney repeated.
---
The End?
Forgive me. I have no idea what gawd's name induced that. I've gotten
plenty of sleep. Not too much caffeine (well, not too much for me). I
think I truly am just plain old warped. Please send all comments to
gugenhoffen@chickmail.com or eviltiff@webcity.ca, they'd be greatly
appreciated.
BTW, many thanks to Mary for helping out with the Screedspeak.
(
geocities.com/area51/hollow/1228) (
geocities.com/area51/hollow) (
geocities.com/area51)