Sometimes bad stories happen to good people, this is one of those times
  Last March Ren wrote me a wonderful 'perfect day' birthday story,
and I tried to return the favor   Instead, she's getting this.  This
isn't set in the w*r universe but Ren and I are written in, hopefully
it'll make sense once you start reading :) Happy Birthday my honorary
Twin!  Hope you like it and Happy (extremely belated) Birthday!
Usual disclaimers. Permission to archive granted to Ren, Mary (talking
about myself in the 3rd person is fun!) any DP and www.fkfanfic.com

Twin Karma (1/14)
        By: Twin Mary (aka Cousin Mary)

        Ren and Mary spotted each other across the crowded Toronto airport, with
a shout of, "Twinner!"  They ran through the terminals and hugged.
        "Oh god Ren!"  Mary stepped back, her face glowing, "You sure don't
-look- a year older!"
        This earned her a whack on the arm, "Ow!"
        "That's because I'm not getting older," Ren insisted with a wry grin,
"I'm 19 and I'm staying that way."
        "Uh-huh," Mary grinned at her honorary twin.  Sure they didn't look much
alike, aside from the fact that they were both blondes, but they made up
for that fact with many other eerie similarities and most of all, a close
friendship.  "Come on, let's go grab the luggage."
        As the two blondes made their way to the baggage claim, more than one
passer-by had to take a second look.  Aside from both being
drop-dead-gorgeous,  Ren and Mary were dressed almost identically in
dark pink T-shirts, faded blue jeans, matching running shoes and had
similar purses swinging from their shoulders. They hadn't planned on it,
but sometimes their twin karma just kicked in and things like this
happened.
        "So, how was your flight?" Mary asked as they paused at a cart to buy
some coffee.  (A mocha for Mary, cafi la orange for Ren.)
        Ren rolled her eyes, "Don't ask, I had the flight attendant from the
deepest bowels of Hades, she refilled my coffee, oh, maybe -once- during
the entire flight.  And there was this huge sweaty insurance salesman
sitting next to me, and he just kept trying to get me to buy life
insurance the whole way here!"
        Mary just looked at her twin with wide eyes.
        Ren glanced at Mary, "Sorry, I didn't mean to complain, this is going to
be a wonderful birthday!"
        "No," Mary shook her head, "I wasn't, it's not about complaining, I had
the exact same thing happen on my flight!"
        Ren's jaw dropped, "Really?"  She began to giggle, "Well, considering
this is us I don't know why we're so surprised"
        Mary shook her head in amusement, they'd flown up on different airlines,
from different states, but already it was starting.  "Guess not." She
grinned.  "But I was kinda hoping we'd have good things happen to us
both, not this type of stuff."
        Ren shrugged, "Can't fight karma Twinner, we shouldn't have killed that
mastodon in our past lives."
        Mary stuck her tongue out at her and pulled them the rest of the way to
the baggage claim carousals.  "There's NorthEast Air, mine's over there."
 Mary trotted off in the direction of Air-Idaho.
        Ren grinned and began looking for her dark pink luggage.  This had been
such a good idea, coming to Toronto for her birthday with her Twin.  It
was July 18th, the day before her birthday, the weather was great, the
company was better.  She knew they were just going to have a blast!
They'd go shopping, out to dinner, hit a few clubs, get the Toronto FK
fans to give them the tour.  Her smile widened, imagine she was going to
see the church Vachon lived in on the show!
        Just then Mary returned, sans suitcases.
        "Where are your bags?" Ren asked.
        Mary growled, "They lost 'em.  All I have now is my purse, good thing
I've got ye ol' plastic to sustain me."  She said, fingering her
Philosopher's Express card (Don't leave reality without it.)
        Ren looked down at the rotating luggage before her, and realized that
despite standing here for well over ten minutes, her bags had yet to be
seen.  Her head snapped up and she looked at Mary, "Oh sh*t."

        After a half an hour of arguing with their airlines, Ren and Mary's were
informed that their bags were accidentally on their way to Afghanistan.
        "Both of them?" Mary asked, her jaw somewhere around her knees.
        "Why does Air-Idaho even fly there?"  Ren demanded.
        The clerk behind the counter just looked down his long nose at them,
"Your luggage is actually on an entirely other airline, so sorry for the
inconvenience."  He smiled sadistically.
        "Yeah, just bet you are." Ren grumbled.

        In spite of their luggage hardships, the girls quickly regained their
enthusiasm and skipped towards the rental car place, (motto-'This Hurtz
you more than it Hurtz us.')
        "Hi!"  Mary greeted the woman behind the counter with a cheery grin, "We
reserved a car, a blue Taurus, last name 'Jenkins.'"
        The clerk looked up at them with a bored expression, after a few key
stokes she looked up and said, "I don't see any 'Jenkins.'"
        Ren frowned and pushed her way past Mary, "Try 'Miller.'
        The clerk checked, "No, two Martins, three Myers, no Miller."
        The blondes exchanged a look, this trip wasn't going as they'd planned,
they should be lounging by their hotel's pool by now, harassing the
cabana boys, not arguing about where the hell their car was!
        "Well," Mary sighed, "What -do- you have?"
        The clerk glared at them, obviously upset that Ren and Mary were still
there, "We have," She punched a few more keys, "A green 1972 Gremlin, a
Pink Caddy, and a  well, you don't want that one."
        Mary and Ren looked at each other again, "I don't suppose you can drive
a stick can you?" Mary asked.
        "No," Ren shook her blonde head, "You?"
        "No," Mary sighed, "I guess we'll have to take the Gremlin then, if it's
an automatic."  She told the clerk.
        "Sorry," The clerk had on a look much like the airline luggage
claimer's, "It's just been taken."  She announced with apparent glee.
        Mary and Ren swung around, noticing the tumbleweed rolling down the
terminal, "By who?"
        The clerk ignored them, "Guess you'll need the 'other' car," she hit a
few more keys and handed Ren the keys.
        "What can be worse than a 1972 Gremlin?" Mary whispered.
        "Maybe it's a Pinto?"  Ren shrugged and headed out the automatic doors
before the clerk could tell them that -this- car was taken too.

        As it turned out, the car was a perfectly normal Ford Tempo.
        "What gives?"  Mary asked, wary by now and expecting the worst.  She
peaked under the car to see if the break lines had been cut, she popped
the hood and looked at all the gizmos inside.
        "Look okay?" Ren peeked past her.
        Mary stared down, "Yep, looks like an engine to me." She gave Ren an
embarrassed smile, "I haven't the slightest clue about cars, I don't know
why I even looked."  She confessed.
        Ren smiled, "I know where the oil goes and how to fill up the washer
fluid, other than that " She trailed off.
        "We're going to get stuck on some deserted road next to a haunted
mansion aren't we?" Mary grinned.
        "As long as it's Dark Perk Mansion!" Ren laughed.
        Mary giggled, "Now -that- would be something!"
        Ren unlocked the doors and the girls climbed in.
        It took about three seconds to sink in, but then Ren and Mary discovered
what was wrong with the 'other' car.
        "Oh-my-god!"  Mary gasped, rolling down her window as fast as it'd go.
        "That smell!" Ren quickly opened and closed her door, trying to fan out
the stench.  "It smells like, like the Bog of Eternal Stench!"
        "We -can't- drive around Toronto for three days in this thing!" Mary
yelped, turning a vague shade of blue before deciding that holding her
breath probably wasn't going to work.
        "It .isn't .that bad" Ren said haltingly.  At Mary's glare she
confessed, "Okay, it is, but I don't see much choice, it's this or
hoofing it."
        Mary seemed to consider that for a moment, "Okay," Then she sighed, "Oh
Ren, I'm sorry this trip isn't turning out too well."
        Ren smiled, her twin looked like she was going to cry, "It's okay, the
important thing is that we're together for my birthday," Her smile took
on an evil cast, "And we're in the same city as the shower scene in BB
was shot."
        Mary brightened slightly, "And it can only get better right?"  She said,
noticing happily that the stench wasn't as strong anymore, though she
knew they were probably just getting used to it.
        "Can't get much worse." Ren smiled, turning the key in the ignition.
        The car started right up.
        "See?" Ren grinned, "Things are looking up already!"
>>>>>>>>>>
Hope you're liking it so far, the vamps will show up soon enough :)=  On
to part two!
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com


Usual disclaimer, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy
birthday dear Twinner, happy birthdaaayyy tooo youuuuu!

Twin Karma (2/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        Ren and Mary were beginning to think that some cosmic forces were indeed
aligning against them.  As soon as they'd pulled out of the rental
parking lot, a sudden rain storm broke out.  This is when they learned
that the 'stink-mobile,' as Ren had so colorfully dubbed it, leaked.
        Rivulets of water streamed in from the edges of the doors, the
windshield, even the floor mats seemed to be drawing the moisture inside.
 This coupled with the fact that they'd had to roll up the windows and
were trapped inside with the warming and dampening stench led to two
unhappy campers.
        "I'm not feeling 'perky,' Mary."  Ren announced, pulling on to the
street she was pretty sure led to their hotel.
        "Me neither," Mary agreed, she shifted uncomfortably in her damp seat,
"And I think I'm getting that 'not so fresh feeling' too."
        Ren laughed, "Do you get the feeling that the hotel had probably never
heard of us either?"
        Mary glanced at her, "Don't even joke about that!  They told me when I
made the reservations that there is some sort of podiatrist's convention
in town, if they don't have our names we are sooo screwed!"
        Just as Ren was contemplating the statistical probability of their
reservations being gone, a huge truck pulled out of no where right in
front of them!
        "Ack!!!"  Mary and Ren screamed as the truck, who's side read 'Brothers
Grimm Mirrors,' nearly missed them.
        "Oh god that was close!" Ren gasped, slowing the car down to about 20 in
a 45 zone.
        Mary rolled down her window and shouted, "Lousy Canadian drivers!"
        "Now -that'll- teach 'em," Ren glanced at her friend with a grin.
        Mary blushed, "Well, they made me mad, and I'd rather not get into a car
wreck on your birthday if it's all the same to you."
        "Okay," Ren smiled, "I'll try not to hit anything."

        There were a few more calm minutes as the twins talked out an alternate
ending for Last Knight and came up with some really cheesy rationales for
various other FK inconsistencies.
        Then, a pretzel vendor pushed his cart off a corner and into the street.
        "Ackkkkkk!!"  Ren screamed, swerving to miss the obviously suicidal
vender.  His cart -did- tip over, spilling salt everywhere, but the man
was all right.
        "God!  I think the loonies are out in force tonight!" Mary proclaimed,
grasping at her poor over-worked heart.
        Ren just nodded, her face chalk white.
        The twins continued on their way, praying no more Toronto citizens would
decide to toss themselves into oncoming traffic.
        They were almost there, they could see the hotel up the block, when Mary
suddenly pointed.  "Gee, he looks a lot like Vachon doesn't he?"
         Ren looked around wildly, "Where?!"
        "Look out Ren, a cat!"  Mary shouted.
        Ren looked back at the road, and sure enough, a whole family of black
cats were crossing the street right in front of her.
        Jerking the wheel to the right and slamming on the breaks, Ren managed
to miss the felines.  She did, however, hit a telephone pole.
        Everything went black.
>
>
>
>
This is us unconscious. 
>
>
>
>
        Ren opened her eyes briefly, there was someone standing over her.
"Mary?"  She croaked.
        The was a low chuckle, "Not quite Quiedera."
        Ren smiled despite the pain in her head, "Vachon." She sighed, then went
back to sleep.
>
>
>
>
        When Ren woke up, she was found she was in a hospital room, a vase full
of Sterling silver roses, lilly-of-the-valley, Stargazer Lilly's, irises,
and violets sat by her bedside.  She could smell their gentle fragrance
perfume the air around her.
        Glancing to her left she saw an open hospital door leading to a hall,
she could see busy nurses and doctors walking up and down the way. In
front of her, attached to the wall was a TV set showing what she was
pretty sure was a Nine Inch Nail's video.  Thankfully it was muted.  But,
where there was NIN  looking to her right she saw her twin.  "Mary!"
        Mary looked up from the three-month old copy of Biblical Scholar Weekly
she'd found in the nightstand.  "Oh Ren, you're awake."
        Ren saw that Mary was in an identical bed as her, she also had a piece
of white gauze wrapped around her head.  Touching her own, Ren discovered
they matched in that respect too.  "Twinner, what happened?"
        "Don't you remember?"  Mary asked, "We hit a pole."
        "We didn't hit the kitties did we?" Ren asked fearfully.
        "No," Mary shook her head, then she looked at her own bouquet, lilies,
irises, and daisies.  "Look, someone sent us flowers."
        "Yeah, I saw," Ren sat up and looked for a card, "No name though,
weird."
        "You know what's really weird?" Mary asked, "I could have sworn Vachon
pulled us out of that car before it blew up."
        "It blew up?!" Ren yelped and immediately regretted it as her head began
to pound.
        "Yeah," Mary grinned, threw her arms wide and imitated the explosion,
"Boom!"
        "I thought I saw Vachon too " Ren fell silent as a doctor came into
their room.
        "Hello there," The middle-age man smiled at them, "I'm Dr. Plot-point."
        "What did you say?" Mary's eyes went wide.
        "Dr. Ploddite."  He repeated, frowning slightly as Ren and Mary seemed
to relax a bit.
        "You two were in a nasty accident and I'm going to need some
information." The Doctor continued.
        The twins nodded and accepted the forms they were handed.  They watched
as the doctor turned and left their room again, mumbling something about
concussions and hard American heads.
        Ren looked down, surprised to see the first question was for her
great-aunt's maternal grandmother's maiden name.  She looked up at Mary,
but her twin was staring at the TV.
        Ren looked up, it was the news, and according to the caption, they were
interviewing Det. Nick Knight.  "Talk about a YKYBWTMFK moment." She
mumbled wryly, but then they actually cut to the detective's face at it
was "Nick!"
        Mary and Ren scrambled for the remote to un-mute it.
        "We have no comment at this time," Nick told the reporter, "Only to say
that we've got several strong leads and are confident that the person
responsible will soon be brought to justice."
        As Nick entered what Ren and Mary recognized as the precinct, they
re-muted the TV and looked at each other.
        "That wasn't a FK episode was it?" Ren asked.
        Mary swallowed audibly, "No."
        "We're in big trouble aren't we?"
        "Yeppers."
        Suddenly Mary reached for the phone and began dialing numbers.
        "What are you doing?" Ren asked, giving her health forms one last look
(has anyone in her family ever been to Brussels?)
        "I'm getting a bad feeling about this." Mary held the phone to her ear
for a bit, grumbled and tired another number.
        "Getting?" Ren laughed.  "What say next year we go to Vegas instead?"
        Mary smiled and nodded, then her attention was back on the phone, "Yes,
hello, can you connect me to Internal Systems? .Yes ..No .They aren't?
Oh, okay, bye."
        Ren watched as Mary grimaced and punched in another number.  After about
twenty minutes and countless numbers later, Mary put the phone down.
"We're in trouble."  Mary mumbled.
        "What's wrong?" Ren asked, really sure she didn't want to hear this.
        "Well, I made some phone calls,"
        "I saw that." Ren commented.
        Mary shot her a quick glare, then smiled.  "Um, anyway it seems I don't
exist anymore.  I tried calling just about everyone I know, starting with
my parents and brother.  I even tried work, my brother's work, school,
some of my other friends... Either the phone number doesn't exist, it's
disconnected or someone I don't know answers.  In short, I'm in big
trouble."
        Ren looked down at the phone, "You think it's the same for me too?"
        Mary glanced at the phone like it was a monster about to devour them,
"Try." She said in a small voice.
        An hour later, Ren found out she didn't exist either.
        Ren put down the phone, "Oh sh*t."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
On to part 3! Have some cake and ice cream while you wait!
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com


Usual disclaimers.  Close your eyes and make a wish!

Twin Karma (3/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        "I think we're in the war universe." Mary said suddenly.
        Ren looked up at her, "How hard did you hit your head?"
        "No, really," Mary insisted, "Think about it, we saw Vachon and Nick
already, none of our real friends and family are around, but "
        "Maybe the Dark Perks are!" Ren grinned and grabbed the phone, she
quickly punched in 555-PINK.
        //"Do-do-do, We're sorry, the number you have tried to call does not
exist, please check your number and dial again.  Thank you."//
        "Well, scratch that." Ren grumbled.
        "Hmm," Mary looked at the door, "Maybe we're just in another version of
it, maybe like the show's universe itself?"
        Ren grabbed the phone and dialed the operator, "Hi, can you give me the
number for Buckstars?"
        "You got to be kidding!" The operator answered back.
        "Why?" Ren asked, not sure if she was going to get told there was no
such thing or
        "There's got to be 500 in downtown Toronto alone!  You've got to be more
specific!"  The operator added.
        Ren groaned, mumbled something like, 'never mind,' and hung up.
        Mary looked up, she'd heard.  "The truth is in the coffee."  She
mumbled.
        "We're in a TV show," Ren closed her eyes.
        "And a canceled one at that." Mary added.
        "'Out of production.'" Ren corrected with a small smile.  She opened her
eyes just in time to see Mary glanced at the door again.  "What are you
thinking?"
        Mary started slightly, then she looked at her friend with a determined
expression, "That we should take control of our own destiny."
        "And by that you mean ?"
        "I mean," Mary looked back at the door, "That sooner or later Dr.
Plot-point is going to come back and wonder why we aren't in any records.
 And if we go telling anyone we're from an alternate reality where all
this just a TV show, we're going to be locked up in little padded rooms."
        Ren looked at her, "So, what will we do?  We don't know anyone here, our
credit cards probably won't work, I think I've got $50 dollars cash, and
even that's American!"
        "I have an idea," Mary crawled out of her bed and with one hand holding
her hospital gown closed, she began to dig through the cabinets along the
wall.  "Ah-ha!" She cried in triumph, holding her clothes aloft.
        "Toss me mine," Ren asked.  And soon the pair were fully clothed.
        Next, they walked over to the mirror and carefully unwrapped the
bandages, "Hardly even a bump." Mary commented, letting her bangs fall
over the pink wound.
        Ren nodded and did the same.  "Now to sneak out of here."
        Then, with an ingenious skill bore of many hours of Mission Impossible
reruns, Ren and Mary  walked out of the hospital and hailed a cab.
        Knowing that there were only a few warehouses in the FK Toronto, Mary
asked the driver to drop them in the 'warehouse district.'
        Getting out of the cab in the pre-dawn hours in very deserted street
corner, Ren began to worry that maybe listening to her friend wasn't such
a good idea.  And when Mary demanded her purse Ren was more than a little
reluctant to hand it over, but not having any idea of what else to do
she forked it over.
        Mary quickly went through her own and Ren's wallet, removing any and all
forms of ID.  She used the mini-pocket knife on her key chain to slice
and dice their driver's licenses, credit cards, even their coffee house
frequent customer's card!
        Ren whimpered, "Why'd you do that?"
        " 'Cause the last thing we need is to be found with what he'll think is
fake IDs."  Mary explained as if it was obvious, then tossed the bits of
mutilated plastic into a nearby waste receptacle.
        "He? He who?"  Ren trotted after Mary as she set off down the street.
        "Nick of course." Mary told her.
        "Nick?  Why not Tracy?"  Ren queried.
        Mary glanced at her, "I'd like to say because Tracy is to smart to fall
for this, but actually, she just doesn't have the experience to relate to
the whopper I'm planning on telling."
        Ren looked at her friend wide eyed, suddenly all the 'creativity' she'd
always praised Mary on didn't seem like too good a thing. "What are you
going to say?  This isn't-"  But Mary cut her off.
        "Shh, trust me, it'll work. " Mary paused before a warehouse and pressed
a buzzer, "Just play along."
        Ren glanced about and spotted the unmistakable Caddy parked a ways away,
well they were certainly in the right place, but "Mary-" She began, but
then was cut off again, this time, by Nick's voice.
        //Yes?//
        Mary instantly put on her best 'helpless damsel' face, Ren tried to copy
her, but was pretty sure she was coming off as mostly confused.
        "Are you Nick Knight?" Mary beseeched the camera, "We need your help!"
        Ren just nodded, sincerely wishing she knew what was going on.
        //Who sent you?// Nick asked.
        Mary looked uncertain for a second and Ren worried that she was going to
break down and tell him the truth, but she should have had more faith in
her twinner, because Mary suddenly looked over her shoulder in apparent
desperation.  Ren had to suppress a smile at her friend's acting ability,
who was supposed to be coming after them?  They'd tipped the cab driver
plenty.
        "Please Nick, he said you'd help us," Mary begged, "Please!"
        There was a beat of silence and then a small beep as the door unlatched.
        Ren and Mary exchanged a quick grin as they past through the door and
headed up to the loft.  Score one for the good guys.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
        End part three.  On to part four.
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com


Usual disclaimers, plus some party favors

Twin Karma (4/14)
        By: Twin Mary

Ren and Mary spun around in awe as they entered Nick's loft, it was just
like the show!
        Mary let out a low whistle, "Wow."
        Ren elbowed her friend to remind her that there was a vampire waiting
for an explanation.
        "Oh, right." Mary looked over at Nick, and just stared a moment.
        "Well?"  Nick looked slightly ruffled, apparently they'd woken him up.
        "Um, you're Nicholas Knight?"  Mary asked, Ren wasn't sure if the fear
in her voice was faked or not.  "Nicholas  de Brabant?"
Ren and Nick both gasped at the same time, then looked at each other.
        Mary took this opportunity to heave a great sigh, "So it's true then?"
        Nick quirked an eyebrow, "Who sent you?"
        Much to Ren's amusement, Mary didn't answer him.  She did, however, walk
over to Nick and take his hand in both of hers.
        Ren didn't know why, probably the head wound, but this whole situation
was striking her as rather funny, so instead of trying her best to make
this believable, she walked over to the vampire and took his other hand.
Pseudo-sibling rivalry reared its ugly head then.  Mary looked at Ren and
clutched Nick's hand closer to her chest, Ren did the same.  Nick looked
at the two blondes (who were both coming dangerously close to making him
cop a feel) and cleared his throat.
        "Oh, right," Mary dropped Nick's hand and took a few steps back,
throwing her arm over her eyes, "Oh Mr. Brabant!  It's just all too
terrible!"
        Ren, realizing where she'd put Nick's hand, jumped back as if burned and
pretended to comfort Mary, "There there Mary, it'll be all right, he'll
help us, you know he will!"
        Nick shook his head and paused to pinch himself, this could not be
happening.  Granted his life was odd, but still  "Of course I'll help,
but who are you?"
        Mary dropped her arm, "I'm Mary and this is " She paused, he probably
wasn't going to believe 'twin,'  "My sister Ren."
        "And we need your help!"  Ren added with earnest.
        "I caught that," Nick nodded with amusement.
        Ren looked over at Mary with a 'well, tell him' look on her face.  And
after a beat, Mary let loose the whopper of all whoppers.  Ren couldn't
help but be amazed as her twin spun a tale so twisted and hard to follow,
so filled with thinly veiled references to instances seen only in
flashbacks and some situations and comments so vague they could have been
about anyone.  By the end Mary had established them as two poor,
defenseless maidens on the run from a gang of truly evil vampires.  And
to sweeten the deal, she'd alluded that Nick owed a favor to whoever it
was that had told them to come to him for help.
        "Who sent you?" Nick asked.
        "Um, well, you see,"  Mary hedged, she looked at Ren for help.
        "We can't tell you that!" Ren exclaimed.
        "We can't?"  Mary asked, then her eyes widened, "Right!  We can't say!
He, uh, swore us to secrecy!"
        "Plus we wouldn't want to put him in any further danger," Ren added,
"But he said you would help us.  And you will, won't you?"
        Ren and Mary did there best puppy-dog eyes, "Please?  You're our only
hope!"
        Faced with this onslaught of damsel-in-distressness (is that a word?  I
don't think it matters, let's move on shall we?) Nick, of course,
crumbled.  "I'll help in whatever way I can."  He told them solemnly.
Ren hid a grin behind her hand, while Mary let loose something that
sounded reasonably close to a grateful sob  (though it might have been a
hiccup.)
        Nick smiled to himself, pleased to be able to help two such lovely young
women.  Surely this was the path to his salvation!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        By sundown Nick was beginning to wonder if salvation was really worth
it.  Ren and Mary had proven to be the most bizarre house guests he'd
ever had.  (And he'd once shared an apartment with a guy who thought he
was a French Emperor, and a moose! Of course it'd been the sixties so )
But Ren and Mary were far worse, it wasn't so much that they were slobs,
or loud, or even rude.  No, they cleaned up after themselves, kept their
music and conversations down, and were very polite.  It was their strange
behavior that was getting to him.
        They finished each other's sentences, and if one was hungry, the other
was coming in the door with take-out Mexican.  His freezer was filled
with mint chocolate chip ice cream and a pound of fresh-ground coffee
beans.  They walked alike, talked alike, dressed alike, he'd even caught
them referring to each other as 'twin' a couple times!  But he was damn
sure they weren't really related. Oh they'd fooled him for a while, but
you couldn't hide blood scent.  No, these two blondes were not sisters,
and definitely not twins!
        He'd decided to keep quiet on that though, after all, if they'd been
through something traumatic it was only natural that they would have a
strong bond between them.  Of course, that didn't explain why they kept
throwing 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' and 'Clue' quotes back and forth
between them
        He hadn't been able to get much more out of either of them, he'd tried
to whammy Mary into telling him more, but the girl was a resister.  He
hadn't been alone with Ren yet.  The two women actually stayed pretty
close most of the day, though Ren had gone out once grocery shopping.
(When his attempt to whammy Mary had gone oh so wonderfully  yes she'd
laughed at him, so humiliating.) And they'd both gone running around
noon, they'd gotten back just a bit ago.
        Nick glanced upstairs, he could hear the shower running and someone
using a blow dryer. (Hopefully not the same person  they have the warning
on the box against that!) They were getting cleaned up after their five
mile run.  'They sure don't act like they fear for there lives,' Nick
thought. Where was the cowering?  Where was the clinging to his strong
manly arms?!  'Of course,' A voice told him, 'If they're afraid of
vampires there's no reason they should be wary about going out in the
day.'  Nick frowned, he still thought the blondes weren't doing nearly
enough clinging, especially that pretty Ren.

        "Why ever are you frowning my boy?"  A deep melodious voice resonated
behind him.
        Nick's frown deepened, the last thing he needed was Lacroix finding out
about his house guests!  "What do you want?"  He turned and faced his
father.
        "My my, we are in a mood to-"  The ancient vampire stopped suddenly and
he looked up the stairs, "Who's up there?"
        Just then Ren and Mary stepped out of the bathroom door at the top of
the stairs.  Ren was in Nick's black silk robe, Mary, a towel.  A towel
she very nearly dropped when she looked down and saw Lacroix (the undead
object of her raging affection) standing there looking back at her.  "Oh
my god!"  Mary exclaimed.
        Ren grabbed the back of Mary's towel and hauled her back out of their
line of sight  (good thing too, 'cause Mary had stopped breathing and was
about to pass out, as well as lose her towel!)   "Get a hold of
yourself!"  Ren shook her twin's shoulders a bit, stopping just short of
slapping her slack jawed face.
        Mary nodded, her head suddenly snapping up, "Okay, yeah, I'm awake!  I'm
awake!"  She readjusted her towel and gazed at the railing as she sat on
the edge of Nick's bed.  "But did you see who-?"
        "Of course I saw him!  How could I miss him!"  Ren snapped, then she
realized that 'they' were probably listening.  "Oh sh*t."  She grabbed
her and Mary's clothes and dragged her twin back into the bathroom
(pausing to wave at the top of the stairs.)


        Nick wiped a hand down his face as his master turned astonished eyes on
him.  "I don't suppose there's any chance you didn't see that?"
        Lacroix just shook his head slowly, "All this time I thought you were
living like a monk, chastely pining away for the good doctor " Nick
glared at him.  "And now I discover you're carrying on an affair with not
one, but -two- beautiful blondes!"
        "I'm -not- having and affair with them!  I just met them!"  Nick
snapped.
        Lacroix's eyebrows shot straight up, "A one night stand?  How utterly-"
        "No!" Nick ground out, "They're in some kind of trouble, they're just
staying with me for a while.  That's all, nothing is going on."
        "Oh," He sounded disappointed, "How noble of you."
        "Yeah isn't it though," Nick said sarcastically.  His patience had
already been worn thin by his earlier debate with Ren over the state of
the English Royal Family (did I say debate?  I meant screaming match.
Let's just say both have some strong opinions.  Ren won by the way)
Anyway, he didn't need any of Lacroix's games right now!
        Lacroix opened his mouth and was about to comment, when Ren and Mary
reemerged fully dressed from their steamy hiding place and bounded down
the stairs.  "So," Mary grinned broadly, "You two guys taking us out to a
fabulously over-priced diner or what?"
        Lacroix was instantly charmed.  (It didn't hurt that Mary was gazing at
him with adoring eyes)  "Of course!"  He scooped up Mary's hand and
pressed a kiss into her palm, "What ever you two lovely ladies want."  He
tucked Mary's hand into the crook of his arm and led her towards the loft
elevator, "And Nicholas will pay."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Continued in part five.
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com

Usual disclaimers, and a couple of cake candles

Twin Karma (5/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        At the Azure, Ren shot Nick a sympathetic look as hour two of the great
'Lacroix/Mary' debate raged on.  It had started soon after their salads
(with blue cheese dressing and croutons) had arrived.
        Lacroix had made some flippant comment about saying grace, and Ren had
just closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable.  Her twin was a
philosophy major, and religion, her 'pet.'  She was very good-natured and
cheerful about it, a fact that often surprised people.
        In the beginning Nick and Ren had been somewhat involved, but by the
time the entrie was served, it was all over for them.  Ren munched on her
nice vegetarian meal as Mary's sat congealing on the table.  The men
drank wine.  Well, Nick drank, Lacroix was too busy talking.
        Ren rolled her eyes, she was beginning to wonder if they were ever going
shut up!  From religion they'd moved to politics, but now they were
getting into the abstract meaning of 'dependence,'  it wasn't even worth
listening to them anymore.  With a quick toss of her fork, Ren sent a bit
of manicotti sailing into Mary's lap.
        "Hey!"  Mary jumped up as the pasta stained her.  "Oh geez, that's not
going to come out!"
        "Let's try shall we?"  Ren said sweetly and dragged Mary towards the
ladies' room after shooting Nick a 'let's-end-this-now' look.

        Minutes later Mary whimpered as she scrubbed at the marinara stain on
her pants, "It's not like I have any other clothes you know."
        "Quit whining, I'm sure Nick will buy you more," she said, then looked
instantly guilty, "Oh Twinner I'm sorry!  It's just, well, it's been two
-hours-!  And you two were just going on and on and on and-"
        Mary grinned wryly, "Okay, I get it."
        "And on," Ren added with a smirk.
        "I noticed you had yourself a mini-debate with Nick while Lacroix and I
chatted," Mary raised an eyebrow.
        "Yeah well," Ren blushed as she remembered scolding Nick for drinking
cow blood, "Guess my APCA side was showing."
        "Heheh, it was funny!" Mary grinned hugely.  She looked around the
spacious lounge of the Azure's ladies room, couches and settees were
placed at artistic angles all around the room, the sinks and stall we in
a separate room off to the left, a courtesy phone sat on a nearby stand.
"You know, vampires really miss out, since they don't "  Mary trailed
off, that tangent was kind of unpleasant, especially at dinner.
        Ren smiled and changed the subject, "You do realize neither of us has a
shred of common sense debating vampires don't you?"  Ren asked.
        Mary shrugged, "Common what?" She grinned.

        Just then the bathroom door came crashing open and two very irate
Enforcer-looking vampires barged in.
        "There they are!" One yelled.
        "We will be rewarded greatly for their capture!"

        Ren and Mary exchanged a look, then screamed and ran for the other room.
 There they tried to slam the door, it didn't work very well ('cause it
just swung back and forth  mocking them) but they tried.
        "Get out!  This is the -ladies'- room!"  Mary yelled indignantly, and
then, since this fact in no way seemed to stop the Enforcers, ran with
Ren for the back of the long row of stalls.  Behind them they could hear
Nick and Lacroix rushing to their defense.
        "Will they be able to beat 'em you think?"  Ren asked anxiously.
        "How the hell should I know?  Do I look like Don King?"  Mary's voice
took on a hysteric edge.
        "Well, your hair is starting to kind of stick up "  Ren commented dryly.
        "What?"  Mary, no longer panicking, stuck her tongue out and looked
around for an exit. She spotted a window about ten feet off the floor and
pointed, "Think we can get out that way?"
        "Are you nuts?!"  Ren asked, eyeing the last peach colored stall and
wondering if they could possibly perch on the top and make it to the
small window.  She didn't think so, "We'll break our necks!" Just then
the sound of a fight breaking out behind them filled her ears (let's just
say that phone was getting placed some place that wasn't at -all-
courteous!), she glanced at Mary's expectant face, "Okay fine, give me a
boost."
        And with that the two blondes shimmied out of the bathroom window of the
fanciest eatery in Toronto. (some girls have all the fun!)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        Ren and Mary had no trouble fitting their trim figures out the tiny
window.  The drop to the alley below was less fun
        "Oooff!"  Mary grunted as she crashed into the slick cement below,
landing with all the grace of a drunken hippo.  (Ren managed an undrunken
hippo, but the two landings were remarkably similar  as the marine
mammals aren't well known for their graceful leaps from high restaurant
windows.)
         "Well that was fun," Mary commented as she climbed to her feet beside
Ren.
        "Shall we run away now?"  Ren asked nonchalantly.
          The sound of a body being tossed against the other side of the
wall behind them (some of the bricks visibly cracked!)
        "Um, I think we'd better," Mary nodded, heading off in a fast trot with
Ren.

        After a few blocks the runners glanced around, "Any idea where we are?"
Mary asked.
        "Nope, not a clue," Ren shot back.
        "Corner of Myrtle and 12th," Came a voice from the shadows.
        "Ack!" Mary and Ren yelped and jumped.

        "Easy, calm down!" Vachon stepped in front of them (apparently he didn't
want the girls to continue their late night jog)  He shot them a crooked
grin, "You two are pretty hard to catch."
        Mary eyed the Spaniard suspiciously, "What do you mean?"
        Vachon blinked, "The way you two slipped out of the hospital before I
could visit you.  None of the doctors or nurses had any clue as to where
you'd gotten to."
        Ren grinned, "We busted out of that joint."
        "Are you the one who sent us the flowers?"  Mary asked.
        "Yeah," The vampire looked slightly embarrassed as he looked at Ren,
"That's what you smell like, a bouquet of exotic flowers."
        Ren gazed raptly back into Vachon's chocolate brown eyes, finally
distracted when Mary made a sound half way between a sniff and a chuckle.
        "And I just got the left over flowers right?"  She asked, apparently
amused.
        Vachon didn't quite meet her eyes, "No "  He trailed off, Mary giggled
again, not the least put out that this Latin lover preferred her twin.
(She was still basking in the warming glow of a two hour debate with
Lucien "the voice" Lacroix after all.)
        "So why are you two out all by yourselves in the middle of the night?"
He asked.
        Mary was about to say something clever, but them she noticed Vachon
looking at the red stain on her pants, his nostrils flared, "It's just
spaghetti sauce!"  She insisted, stepping behind Ren and glaring at the
leather-clad creature of the night.
        "We were, uh," Ren wasn't quite sure what to say, she knew she wanted to
get herself and Mary out of the road (lest the vamps were still after
them) but she wasn't really sure what she should say to Vachon to make
that happen.  It didn't help that he was so gorgeous it was hurting her
head to look at him.
        While Ren was still trying to come up with something reasonable, Vachon
piped up, "Hey, do you two have any place to stay?  If not you could,
uh "
        "We'd love to!"  Ren blurted out, ignoring the elbow to the ribs Mary
gave her.  So what if she was complicating matters by getting them
involved with yet another vampire?  This was -Vachon-, what was she
supposed to do?  Say 'No, we'll be staying at the Y?'  Ha!  Not bloody
likely!  Then Ren pause, suddenly realizing blood was very likely.  But
too late now, Vachon was already leading them down the street to his
Church.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
End part 5, continued in part 6
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com


Usual disclaimers, and a piqata filled with little chocolate candies

Twin Karma (6/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        Once they were safely ensconced in Our Lady of Perpetual Motion's
hallowed halls, Ren settled into a worn couch, watching while Vachon
tuned his guitar.  The dark hared vampire hadn't really asked either of
them what was going on, just a few questions that she's answered as
vaguely as possible  (visiting Toronto, car accident, that was about it.)
 As it was, it seemed Vachon was offering them his services as a
protector and/or tour giude, and Ren sure as hell wasn't going to object
to that!
        As Vachon began strumming out a slow Spanish melody, Ren sighed with
pleasure and relaxed into the dusty cushions.  Upstairs she could hear
Mary poking around, not too interested in Vachon, but pleased as punch to
be able to run around a church unsupervised.
        Suddenly there was a loud crash from upstairs, Ren sat up with a start.
        "I'm okay!  Don't worry!"  Mary called down.
        Vachon just raised an eyebrow and smiled at Ren, starting a new, faster
tune on his ax.
        Ren smiled nervously back, wondering just how much damage her twin was
doing.  Then she decided to stop worrying about it, Vachon was playing,
'Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman,' and she decided to just make
goo-goo eyes at him for awhile.

        The next few hours past in sort of a pleasure filled cloud for Ren.
Vachon was serenading her, no doubt about it.  Mary had settled down into
the Church's paper filled office and was happily absorbing some of the
lesser-appreciated nuances of the Catholic hierarchy.  Everything was
going so well in fact, Ren knew something terrible was going to happen.
Nights simply didn't go this well, there was a cosmic rule against it she
was sure.  Fate would give you bliss for a bit, but that was usually just
before the rug was yanked out from under you and the IRS auditors
descended like a plague of locusts on your picnic.  So when a tattered,
slightly smelly Screed came barging in the front door slightly before
dawn screaming like a banshee, Ren wasn't the least surprised.

        "Mate!  Vachonetti!  Ya 'ere?!  I gots ta talk to yas!"  Screed rushed
into the middle of the room and turned around six or seven times before
his eyes landed on his friend.  "Oh thare ya is."
        The carouche rushed to the couch and almost sat on top of Ren before
noticing his friend was not alone.  "'Ey now, 'oo are you?"
        Just then, Mary came out of the office and wandered over towards their
little group, "What's going on?"
        When Screed looked at Mary violins began to play, birds sang, flowers
world-wide began to bloom, at least for Screed it seemed that way.  Mary
was just trying to figure out what that smell was
        "We're just about to find out," Vachon told her, "Screed, what
happened?"
        Screed just continued to stare at Mary.
        "Screed!"  Vachon passed his hand in front of the carouche's face a
couple times, "Amigo, you in there?  Earth to Screed, come in Screed."
        Finally the vermin-slurpin' vamp snapped out of it, then he looked from
Ren to Mary a couple of times and cursed, "Oh roight, figures thay would
be 'ere!  Damsels in detressy an' ya can bet yer last farthin' that
Vachonetti'll 'ave 'em 'old up wit 'isself!"
        Vachon blinked, then drew a slow breath as if to gather his patience,
"What are you talking about?"
        "Tha twins o' course!"  Screed told him with annoyance, "I wuz jus'
comin' ta tell ya that there are some mean characters lookin' fer these
mysterious birds, they wumped ol' Screed a good un lookin' fer info in me
alley, an' 'ere I finds they're wit you all along!  Should a known tho' I
guess,"  He looked at Mary again, "I means, you always gets the good
uns."
        Mary looked slightly alarmed, but whether from Screed's story or his
attention, Ren wasn't sure, "You mean people are looking for us?  And
calling us twins?"
        Screed nodded, then gave the girls a speculative look, "But yas aren't
really twinnies are ya?  But I still thinks they 'ad ta mean youse, all
blonde and purty like."
        Vachon blinked, several times.  "Why are they after you?"
        Mary shook her head, "I don't know!  We should have gone to Vegas!"
        Screed gave a happy sigh.
        Ren ran a hand through her short blonde locks, "What on Earth would a
bunch of vampires want with me and Mary?"
        Vachon and Screed looked down at Ren (paying particular attention to the
graceful curve of her neck) with a 'duh' look on their faces.
        "Besides that!"  Ren yelped, suddenly wishing for a turtle neck.
        "We'll find out!"  Screed told them all nobly, grabbing Vachon's hand
and hauling him to his feet, "Come on!  We'll protect 'em we will!"
        Vachon blinked at his usually cowardly friend's heroic declaration, "We
will?"
        Screed smiled awfully at Mary, "Yeah we will, save tha day, win a kiss
from fair lady, la de da and all tha jazz!"
        Mary blinked, "Wha-?"
        Vachon just smiled, thinking Screed's crush was kind of cute (especially
since he'd set his sights on Ren and it'd be better for him if her friend
was otherwise occupied.)  "That's right!" The Spaniard grinned and bowed
deeply to Ren, "We shall solve this mystery my lady!"
        And with that the dynamic demonic duo left the church in a swirl of
bravado and male ego.
        "Uh, Ren?"  Mary asked, "What just happened?"
        Ren shook her head, "I think we're going to be rescued."
        Mary looked around the abandoned church with its dark, deep shadows and
strange noises and shivered, "Oh goody."
>>>>>>>>>

        Around eight in the morning Ren and Mary resigned themselves to a day
spent alone in the church.
        "They probably just got caught out somewhere," Mary sighed, flopping
over onto her back on Vachon's spacious bed, "The sun came up and they
had to take shelter somewhere."
        "They could have called," Ren buried her face in her Vachon scented
pillow.
        "Does he have a phone?"  Mary asked, curiously looking around the room.
        "Go to sleep," Ren sighed.
        Mary nodded and laid down next to Ren, counting the cracks in the
ceiling.
        Ren got about five minutes of peace and quiet before Mary piped up
again.
        "Ren?"
        "What now?"
        "I'm hungry."
        "What?  Why?  I'm not."
        Mary rolled over and faced her twin, "Remember that fabulous meal at the
Azure last night?"
        "The one you didn't eat 'cause you were too busy talking."  Ren opened
her eyes and sat up.  "You want to go out to breakfast don't you?" She
asked accusingly.
        Mary sat up, "Well  kinda."
        Ren swung her legs over the side of the bed and slipped on her shoes,
"Okay, fine, Buckstars."
        Mary smiled broadly and bounced on her knees on the mattress, a cloud of
dust shot up, "Great!  Soy mochas and baklava!"
        Despite herself a smile tugged at Ren's mouth, "Cafi la Orange and
chocolate chip muffins."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>

        An hour later Ren and Mary were finally in agreement, not about what
kind of coffee they wanted, no, they were in agreement that that were
hopelessly lost.
        "How can we be lost?" Mary asked, fishing her sunglasses out of her
pocket.
        "It's your fault," Ren grumbled, "You're the one who said 'Button Street
looks like a good one.'"
        Mary shrugged, "Seemed like a good idea at the time."  Mary stepped off
the curb to cross yet another street when a large blue minivan almost hit
her, Ren pulled her back just in time.
        "Hey blondie!  Watch it!"  The driver of the minivan stuck his head out
the side window and yelled at her, "What, you have a death wish or
something?"
        Mary and Ren just gawked, it was Schanke!
        "Dear,"  A woman, who could only be Myra put a hand on the irate
Detective's shoulder, "I'm sure they'll be more careful next time, just
calm down." A young girl bounced around in the back, Myra turned and
said, "Sit down right now Jenny!"
        Schanke nodded at his wife and shot one more glare at the girls on the
curb, "Remind me of my partner, not paying attention to what's going on
around them in the least. Blondes."  And with that, Donut Don shifted the
minivan and drove away.

        Ren and Mary exchanged a look, "He isn't dead."  Mary said.
        "I noticed," Ren nodded, walking stiffly over to the row of newspaper
machine along a nearby convience store.  She scanned the dates, "July
19th 1995."
        Mary's eyes opened wide, "You know what this means Twinner?"
        Ren stood up, a small smile on her lips, "I'm a lot younger than I
thought?"
        Mary giggled, "That and this is the second season."
        "Tracy's still a uniform, Janette's at the Raven, Schanke's alive and
well," Ren chewed her bottom lip, "So why are Vachon and Screed in town?"
        Mary thought about that, "Well, they never actually said either one of
them were new to Toronto, they just didn't show up in the plot until they
met Tracy, and Tracy didn't show until she was partnered with Nick."
        "Nick, right," Ren nodded, "Main character, keep forgetting."
        The two grinned evilly, enjoying their Nick-bashing despite the
seriousness of the situation.  Deep down they'd both had a 'plan B' in
mind, as Dark Perks they'd always known that if things got really bad
they could go throw themselves on Tracy's mercy.  Ultimately any vampire
might decide to eat them, but Tracy wasn't a vampire.  (Plus she had a
gun and a duffel bag of holy water, stakes and crosses.)  At least she
did in season 3, now she was just another gal in blue, with no idea that
anything strange went bump in the night.  In other words, their safety
net had just been yanked out from under them.
        "Well, at least you and Vachon aren't going behind Tracy's back," Mary
looked on the bright side, "Can't be considered cheating if he hasn't met
her yet."
        "That's true, so I don't have to feel guilty anymore."  Ren smiled
wryly, "Of course, there's no guarantee now that he won't decide to drain
me, he hasn't gotten a lesson in 'Vetter-morals' yet."
        Mary nodded and started walking again, "We're screwed, seriously now."
She said nonchalantly.
        "Screwed and lost," Ren fell into step beside her.  She looked up, "Oh
look, the Raven."
        Mary got a slightly self-destructive gleam in her eye (same one she got
when she decided to try cliff diving last summer)  "Should we go in?"
        "It's ten in the morning," Ren commented, looking down at her watch,
"I'm sure they're closed."
        Mary paused and looked around, "What should we do then?  Try to find our
way back to the Church?  The loft?  Tell you the truth, I'm not to keen
on either at the moment."
        Ren shrugged, "Oh what the hell," She crossed the street and knocked on
the club's door.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
End part 6, continued in part 7
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com


Usual disclaimers, and a great big cake with Maury Povich inside (maybe I
should have put him in -after- I baked it though )

Twin Karma (7/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        The door swung open immediately, almost as if someone had been waiting
for them on the other side.  As the sunlight flooded the doorway, a man's
voice behind the heavy door urged them to "Come inside, quick!"
        Ren and Mary, after exchanging a glance and a shrug, went in.  The door
was shut behind them.
        Miklos, looking rather rumpled, looked them up and down and just stood
there, as if waiting for an explanation.
        The girls stared back, not sure what to say.  Finally Ren asked, "Is
Janette here?"
        The bartender shook his head, "Monaco for the next week."
        "Oh," Ren looked at Mary, who shrugged.
        The bartender ran a hand through his hair, "She was expecting you
though, left instructions so I'd take care of you."
        Ren and Mary swallowed audibly, the hairs on the back of their necks
rose.
        "Come on, I'll show you to your room," The Eastern European vamp began
leading them towards the stairwell in the back of the club, heedless of
their fear.  He pointed at a pair of doors, "That's Janette's own.  She
has graciously allowed you each permission to help yourselves to her
wardrobe, and anything else you may wish."  He paused to give them a
curious look, the first emotion the vampire had shown.  "What ever did
you do to  never mind, I'm not supposed to ask.  Should you need
anything, you have but to ask."  He gave them a half bow and left them,
going back down stairs to his own bed.  (10 AM was much too early for
him!)

        Left to their own devices, Ren and Mary quickly ran into Janette's room
and snooped around.
        "What do you thinks going on Twinner?"  Mary asked as she held an off
the shoulder red gown up to herself.
        "I have no idea," Ren answered back, riffling through Janette's vast
shoe collection.  (78 pairs of black heels, from sling backs to
stilettos, she had them all!)
        "Ren?"  Mary paused in her looting.
        "Yeah?"
        "I'm still hungry."  Mary told her.
        "I doubt there's much here," Ren said, a rumble in her own stomach
telling her that their early morning hike had left her a bit hungry as
well, "Hmm, maybe we can order a pizza?"
        "Great!" Mary grinned, diving over Janette's immaculately made bed to
get to the elegant rotary phone on the night stand.  She quickly dialed
directory assistance, then the local pizza parlor (Guido's Pizza
Emporium)  "Yeah hi!  I'm in desperate need of a pizza!"
        Ren smiled, wondering if the teenage boy answering the phone was going
to remember anything as mundane as pizza after Mary's breathless order.
        "A large," Mary shot Ren a questioning look, "Yeah a large, tomatoes,
green peppers, onions-"
        "Olives, extra cheese," Ren whispered.
        "Olives, extra cheese, extra sauce, mushrooms," Mary flopped on her back
as she dictated every non-meat topping she could think of.
        "Ack!  No fungi!" Ren whacked her with a pillow, her twin should know
better!
        "Ow! Okay, can you make that mushrooms on half?"  Mary paused to listen,
a smile curved her lips, she looked over to her friend, "Hey Ren, we want
garlic?"
        Ren giggled evilly, "We'd better not."
        Mary sighed martyr's style, "No, no garlic.  Hand tossed, and can you
send over a six pack of A&W Root Beer too?  Great!  Address?"  She
glanced at Ren who just shrugged, she had no idea.
        "Um, you know the club the Raven?  Wonderful, just have it delivered
there."  Mary's eyes were practically gleaming with the thought of food
(even philosophy majors can't survive on debate alone, they require pizza
as well.)  "Twenty minutes?  Great, thanks!"
        Ren watched her hang up, "Think Miklos will be mad?"
        Mary shrugged, though she still looked a bit worried, "Well, he did say
we could have anything we wanted."
        "Technically he told us to ask him if we wanted anything," Ren pointed
out.
        "We saved him a phone call, we wanted pizza!" Mary grinned, and merrily
avenged herself for Ren's earlier pillow assault.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        Minutes later there were feathers everywhere, "Oh sh*t." Ren commented.
        Mary nodded, "Janette's going to drain us, and then probably bring us
across just so she can stake us."
        The blondes took a moment to try and think of a way to convince the
Queen of Vamps that 'Blizzard Chic' was the latest fashion in interior
design.  But then there was a pounding on the Raven's front door.  Ren
and Mary exchanged a look, for the briefest instant scared to death that
it might be Janette returning unexpectantly from Monaco, but then they
remembered, "Pizza!"
        They charged downstairs with all the restraint of a stampede of
psychotic lemmings, they beat Miklos by scant seconds.
        "I'll get it!" Mary shot the vampire a cheery grin, he just glared at
them for waking him up again.
        Ren noticed a feather in Mary's hair and made a grab for it before he
noticed, this appeared to Miklos like she was whacking her friend upside
the head, Mary's cheery smile stayed in place. The vampire shook his head
and wandered away, mumbling under his breath about crazy Americans and
the things he does for his employer.
        Once the bartender was safely back behind his sunproof door, the girls
swung open the club's door and caught the delivery boy just as he was
about to knock again.
        "Hi!"  The blondes chorused.
        The teen blinked, "Y-you ordered a pizza?"
        "Sure did!"  Mary grabbed the box with one hand and the root beer with
the other, "Thanks!"
        "Money, wait," Ren started to dart upstairs to get her purse, then
remembered she'd left it at the loft last night (not like she would have
needed it at the Azure)  "Uh-oh."
        "Tip jar," Mary nudged her with her elbow towards the bar.
        "What?" Ren yelped, she glanced at the delivery boy, well, he needed to
be paid   She jogged over to the bar and snatched up the cup, if they
were going to die they might as well go with pizza filled bellies!
        "Uh, thanks," The teen looked down at the cup and walked back to his car
mumbling about how he always got the wackos, but at least these had been
cute.
        After he was gone, Ren turned to Mary and said, "Now we're -really-
dead."
        Mary shrugged and sat down right on the Raven's small sun-drenched
stoop, "Well, they can only kill us once, just keep repeating that to
yourself."
        Ren shook her head and sat down next to her friend, "This is just
getting too weird."
        "But are you having fun?"  The younger blonde asked with a grin, opening
the pizza box and pulling a can of soda loose.
        Ren smiled, "A blast."

        The girls sat on the front step of the biggest vampire haunt in all
Canada, at 10:30 in the morning, eating pizza. They watched the little
goth punks walk by, a couple tried to get in but Ren and Mary just told
them, "Sorry, we're closed."
        As the pie slowly disappeared, Ren thought she heard a whimper coming
from the alley next to the club.   Curious as always, the pair made sure
the door was propped open (if they woke Miklos up again he'd kill them
for sure!) and went to investigate.
        The two cautiously entered the alley and peeked around the crates,
dumpster and trash bags, all the while hearing the small whimpering
noise.  Finally they found what was making it, Ren crouched down to peer
around the last pile of empty wine crates in the corner of the alley and
saw it.  "A puppy!"
        Ren reached in and grabbed the small dog, it was a little on the thin
side, definitely a stray, but it had the distinctive markings of a
Dalmatian none the less.  "Look!  How cute!"  She held the black-spotted
pup up for her twin's inspection.
        Mary usually wasn't much of a dog person, but when she stuck her face
down to look at the pup and he licked her nose, she didn't have a chance.
 "Oh how adorable!"
        "Can we keep him?"  Ren beamed as she checked something, "It's a boy."
        Mary petted the pup's head, "What should we call him?"  She asked,
taking for granted that they'd be taking the puppy with them (Yeah, get a
Dalmatian puppy away from Ren?  Yeah right!)
        "Um, don't know, any ideas?"
        Mary grinned evilly, "Van Helsing?"
        Ren ignored her, she should know better than to ask
little-miss-death-wish, "We'll call him Sparky."  She announced.
        "Sparky," Mary nodded.  She took a closer look at their new pet,
"Sparkster, I think you need a bath."
        "Oh yeah." Ren took a good whiff of the eau de canine and instantly
agreed, wondering just what Janette would do to them when she found half
a bottle of her $70 dollar a bottle shampoo had been used on a stray dog

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
End part 7, continued in part 8
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com



Usual disclaimers and some melted birthday cake candles molded into a
cute little puppy

Twin Karma (8/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        Ren, Mary and a newly washed and fed Sparky (left over pizza is bad for
dogs, but probably a lot better than bloodwine) were sleeping on the
feather-covered bed that had once belonged to Janette. (But it was now in
such a state that the vampiress would never have admitted it.)
        Miklos stood there, watching the pair sleeping in their underwear, while
a their puppy snored between them. The radio was playing in the
background, (Will Smith was 'gettin' jiggy wit' it')  A couple of half
empty soda cans sat on the dresser and someone had dressed Janette's
$50,000 avant garde 'Nude Descending a Staircase' sculpture in a pair of
pants and a feather boa.  He couldn't help it, he started laughing.
        Slowly, Ren began to stir.  The first thing she became aware of was that
Sparky had really bad doggie breath, the second was that there was a
vampire standing over her bed laughing, the third was that she was
definitely underdressed for this occasion.  With a yelp of feminine
modesty, Ren grabbed the sheet under her and with a mighty yank, wrapped
it around herself.
        The sudden pull of the sheet sent both Sparky and Mary tumbling off the
bed, right at Miklos's feet.
        Mary blinked, "Wha-?"  She looked up at the bartender with a look of
utter confusion  (Mary's not a morning person.)
        Miklos just kept laughing and reached down and pulled her to her feet.
Mary ran a hand through her hair and rubbed her eyes, "Is there coffee?"
        "Mary!" Ren said, "Clothes?"
        Mary looked at her twin, her eyes slightly unfocused, "Huh?"
        "I think she's commenting on yours," Miklos said helpfully.
        Mary still wasn't quite awake, she looked down at her bra and panties,
then past them to the puppy at her feet.  She leaned down and picked up
the dog, then sat on the edge of the bed and looked back at Ren.
"Coffee?"
        Ren began giggling, grabbing another blanket she threw it over Mary and
the dog.  Mary laid back down.  Ren then looked at Miklos, "What time is
it?"
        "Just after sunset," He told her, turning he grabbed a bag he'd set on
the night stand, "French toast and coffee from the deli across the way."
        "Miklos?"  Came Mary's voice from under the blanket, "Will you marry
me?"
        Ren whacked her with what was left of one of the pillows, "Thanks."  She
shot the vampire a grin and shooed him out of the room.
        "You'll come down soon?"  He asked.
        "Yeppers," Ren nodded, clutching Janette's fitted silk sheet to herself,
"But first we'll get dressed."
        The bartender grinned lasciviously and looked up her up and down, "No
need."
        Ren rolled her eyes and shut the door, "Is there such a thing as a
non-flirt vampire?" She asked her twin.
        "Gee, I hope not," Mary had sat up, her cup of coffee already open and
under her nose, "What'd be the fun in that?"
        Ren grinned and walked back to the bed, "You awake?"
        "Almost," Mary closed her eyes and inhaled, "Getting there."
        Ren opened the bag and pulled out her coffee and the boxes of French
toast, she fed Sparky a couple slices, then started adding mass
quantities of sugar and cream to her coffee.  "So, what are we going to
do?"
        "Shower, get dressed, go down stairs and remember to buy real dog food
sometime tonight before Sparky pukes on the Turkish rug."  Mary counted
off as she peered down at the priceless floor covering and shivered.
        Ren nodded, "Short term goals, good.  But what about long term?"
        Mary ran her hand through her hair again, "I have no idea, we should
probably get in touch with Nick and Lacroix and tell them we're okay."
        "And Vachon and Screed,"  Ren added.
        Mary nodded, "Maybe one of them will have figured out what's going on."
        "What about Janette?"  Ren asked.
        Mary shrugged, "In Monaco, we don't have to worry about her right now."
        "I mean," Ren said patiently, "How come she knew we were coming?  And
why are there vampires after us at all?  And what the hell are we going
to do if they find us?"
        Mary laid back down, "I haven't a clue, ask me something easier."
        Ren chewed her lip, "What are we going to wear?"
        Mary grinned, "Something out of that closet over there.  A designer
dress that we couldn't afford in a million years back home  something
that we'll need Wonderbras for, something that'll make Miklos forget to
tell Janette about the feathers."
        Ren grinned back, "And the dog?"
        "I don't think any of Janette's dresses with fit Sparky," Mary dead
panned.
        Ren shoved her off the bed.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        Two hours later, Ren, Mary and Sparky made their grand entrance into the
Raven.
        Ren was wearing a hunters green taffeta ball gown with a crinoline over
dress, it had a very tight bodice that was fitted all the way down to the
waist, an off the shoulder sweetheart neckline, with short sleeves and a
full skirt.  Mary was dressed in a tight silver dress, sleeveless, it had
a high neck and was form fitting all the way to about mid hip, there it
swept out in an elegant A-line all the way to her ankles.  Both girls had
decided to raid Janette's spiked heel collection and had found pumps that
perfectly matched their gowns.
        Sparky had ended up a beneficiary Janette's vast wardrobe as well,
around the pup's neck was one of the studded leather collars meant for
people, but it worked perfectly well for a dog too.  Tied to the back of
the collar was a long black sating ribbon.
        The trio was dressed to kill.  (Figuratively, they still had pulses and
only Sparky had fangs.)  Half the crowd stopped a moment and just stared.
 Ren and Mary froze like deer in headlights, luckily for them, Miklos
swept over and escorted them to the bar, firmly establishing them as
under the Raven's protection.
        "You both look lovely.  Can I get either of you a drink?"  The bartender
asked.
        Ren nodded, "Champagne, please." Miklos nodded and turned to Mary.
        "White Russian," She said, blushing when the Slavic vampire raised an
eyebrow, "The drink, you know?"
        "Of course," The vamp shot them one last devastating smile before moving
off to get their drinks.
        Mary leaned over to Ren and whispered, "I think he might be trying to
seduce us."
        "You just figured that out?"  She snorted, clinking her glass to Mary's
as their drinks were served.
        The pair chatted and people watched for awhile, Miklos had moved back
down the bar and was hopefully out of even vampiric earshot, so they
didn't bother to curb their tongues.
        "Look, is that Alma?"  Mary pointed across the dance floor.
        "Slut," She grinned, lifting her glass and silently toasting the
oblivious vampiress, "Going after a married man!"
        "Wonder if that episode has even happened yet?"  Mary asked
thoughtfully.
        Just then there was a clamor from the front of the club, Ren and Mary
looked up.  The guys from the Azure were pushing their way in, and
judging from the way they were acting, they weren't there just for the
wine!
        "Oh sh*t!" Ren cursed, setting down her Champagne flute, "The baddies!"
        Mary stood, "We'd better get out of here."  She started to make her way
to the Club's back door.
        Ren nodded, gathering up Sparky, she followed.
        "Oh hell," Suddenly Mary stopped and Ren crashed right into her.
        "What?"
        "Back door's not going to work," Mary pointed to where a nasty looking
skin-head looking group of vampires stood.
        "Upstairs!" Ren directed.
        Mary nodded, and trying not to call attention to themselves, snuck to
the stairwell.  The closed and locked the door at the base of the stairs
as well as the one at the top, but were not stupid enough to think that
those would actually hold them if they figured out they were up here.
Suddenly there was a loud crash as the bottom door was ripped off its
hinges.  "What now?" Mary asked.
        "Um," Ren thought quickly, "The roof!  Hopefully we can climb down a
fire escape or rain gutter to the alley!"
        "Good idea!"
        The girls searched the hall and finally found well-camouflaged trapdoor
that would lead to the overhead crawl space and ultimately the roof.  The
pushed over a chair and Ren climbed up first, then Mary passed her Sparky
and climbed up herself.  They closed the hatch behind them and prayed the
vamps would notice the chair wasn't supposed to be there.  It took a
moment to find the roof access in the dark, but they did.  Again Ren
crawled up first, then Sparky, then Mary.
        Once on the roof, they looked around, "See anything?"  Mary asked,
walking around one edge while Ren checked the other.
        "No luck, guess the Raven isn't up to fire codes!"  Ren told her in a
whisper.  The sound of yelling was coming through loud and clear from the
club below them, the baddies were on the second floor.  They hadn't
figured out they were on the roof yet, but it was only a matter of time.
"What are we going to do Twinner?"
        Mary looked around frantically, suddenly she got very still and stared
at the next building over, "How far can you jump Ren?"
        Ren's eyes widened, she looked around, all the other roofs were pretty
far away, the closest had to be too far to jump, "Mary we can't "
        There was a loud crash under them, Mary closed her eyes and pulled off
her pumps, "We can make it, look, if we run and step off that air
conditioning thing or whatever it is, we'll be high enough to make it."
        Ren fidgeted for a minute, Sparky whimpered in her arms, "Okay, let's do
it."
        Mary went first, she made it easily.  "Okay, leave Sparky and come on!"
She called back.
        "No!  I'm not leaving him!" Ren called back, kicking off her shoes,
Sparky licked her chin.
        "Twinner!"  Even from the other roof, Mary could still hear the vampires
tearing apart Janette's apartments looking for them.
        Ren took a deep breath, and with a running start, leapt to the next roof
line.  "I made it!"  She hugged her twin, Sparky yelped when he was
slightly squished.
        "Oops, sorry Sparkster," Mary petted his fuzzy little head.  They walked
to the far side opposite the Raven and looked for a way down.  "Oh
dammit!  Isn't anyone up to code?!"
        "We gonna jump again?"  Ren asked with not nearly enough fear in her
eyes.  (Adrenaline, hormone of champions.)
        "Guess we better," Mary nodded, "But this time I get Sparky."
        After a few more death-defying leaps, Ren and Mary had almost given up
on ever finding an up to code building.
        "One more?"  Ren asked, grabbing Sparky from her twin's arms.
        Mary sighed, "Okay, um, that one looks good."  She pointed.
        Ren nodded, watching as Mary just barely made the jump.
        "Whoa, I think I'm getting tired, maybe you'd better not-" Mary called
back, but as she turned Ren was already in the air with Sparky in her
arms.  Her eyes widened, she wasn't going to make it!  "Ren!"  She
screamed as her friend began to plummet into the alley below.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
End part 8, continued in part 9
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com

Usual disclaimers

Twin Karma (9/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        Ren heard Mary scream before she realized she wasn't going to make it,
then she made the mistake of looking down.  It was so dark she couldn't
see the ground below, but that didn't stop her from screaming.
        "Nooooooooo!"  Ren shut her eyes tightly and waited to feel the impact.

        After a few seconds she was still waiting.
        Slowly she opened one eye, then the other.  She looked down, darkness.
She looked straight ahead and saw Mary staring at her with disbelieving
eyes.  Ren stared back, Sparky licked her face.
        "You all right pretty one?" A mysterious voice asked.
        Ren pulled her dazed eyes away from Mary and looked to find herself
nestled in the Inca's strong arms.  She nodded slowly, "Yeah, just
peachy."
        He floated over and deposited her next to her twin, Mary instantly
hugged her, "Oh god Ren!  I thought it was pancakes-ville for you for
sure!"
        Ren giggled a little hysterically at that thought, "Nope, I'm fine."
        "It is quite fortunate that I was near by," He paused and looked them
over, "Though, I suspect you are the two I was looking for  The goddess
must be with me," The Inca informed them, turning midnight eyes to Ren,
watching carefully as the blonde drew slow even breaths (trying not to
pass out.)
        Mary nodded enthusiatically, "We had to get out of there, the bad guys
were after us again!"
        Ren nodded, setting Sparky down and leaning down a bit.
        Mary looked worried, "Twinner?  You okay?"
        "Uh-huh" Ren nodded, then she passed out.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
        When Ren woke up she was in yet another vampire's bed.  "I think I'm
beginning to notice a trend here "  She mumbled as she sat up, rubbing
her eyes. One bare light bulb swung dimly above her head.  She looked
around and saw she was in a small barren room, there was the bed she was
lying in, a small dresser, an aluminum door and a small boarded up
window, that was it.
        Ren looked around frantically at the off-white walls and then down at
herself, her dress was gone.  She was wearing someone's Leafs jersey; it
had an unmistakable reddish brown stain in on corner. She felt herself
start to panic almost immediately.  "Oh sh*t!  How?  What?  Where?!"
        Suddenly the door off to her left cracked open and Sparky's little wet
nose peeked in, quickly followed by the rest of his spotted self.  He
barked at her and tongue lolling out, leapt onto the bed and proceeded to
shower her face with puppy kisses.
        "Sparky! I don't think I've ever been happier to see anyone in my entire
life!"  Ren cried and hugged the pup.  Nothing like a doggie kiss to
bring everything back into perspective. "Where's Mary, boy?  You know?"
        Sparky cocked his head to one side and Ren could have sworn he was
thinking about the question, suddenly he yipped, jumped off the bed and
trotted to the door.  He paused and looked back at her.
        "You want me to follow you?"  Ren asked, throwing back the covers and
climbing out of the bed.  Sparky didn't answer, he just walked out the
door.  Not having anything better to do, Ren shrugged and followed.
        There was a long hallway outside, a few doors lined the passageway, but
when Ren peeked inside they were all little empty rooms much like the one
she'd just come from. (Well, one was a broom closet and another a
bathroom, but nothing very interesting was in either.)  Eventually Sparky
and Ren came to the end of the windowless hall and Ren could hear a
strange thudding sound coming from the slightly ajar double doors.
        "You want me to go in there?"  Ren asked Sparky incredulously.  The pup
just cocked his head and seemed to smile at her.
        Ren crept closer to the door and listened.  It sounded like a fight on
the other side, a rapid onslaught of grunts and hits to a heavy object
reached her ears.  She looked down at Sparky again, "Not on your life
little fella, I'm not going in there!"
        Suddenly her twin's voice reached her ears, "Of all the stupid, have to
get stuck down here, damn, freakin' ."  Each word was punctuated by the
sound of a violent blow.
        Ren's eyebrows shot up.  Someone was thrashing her twin!  "I'm coming
Twinner!"  She shouted and charged in with Sparky hot on her heels.
        Five feet in, Ren stopped short.  Mary wasn't in any danger, in fact,
she was all alone in the room.  (Well, she -had- been alone, now Ren and
the dog were with her, if you want to be picky)  Mary was standing in
front of a heavy bag, boxing gloves were strapped on her hands.
"Twinner?  What are you doing?"
        Mary tried to wipe her sweat damped bangs off her brow, but with the
gloves on it was kind of difficult, after a couple of tries she gave up.
"Um, nothing much,"  She shrugged, "You were sleeping, and I was bored,
nothing else much to do."
        Ren frowned, realizing that that answer didn't explain much.  Maybe she
should stick to talking to Sparky?  Ren took a second to look around, it
looked like they were in a very big basement.  The walls, floors and
ceiling was all cement, there were windows, but they were at least 20
feet off the ground, and boarded up. A good deal of the floor was covered
with mats and a boxing ring sat in the center of the room. There were
lines of different kinds of punching bags along the walls, weight benches
and dumb bells lined another.  There was a staircase leading up and the
hall she'd come out off was behind her.  "Um, Mary?  Where are we?"
        "The Inca's place," Mary tried to pull off her gloves, but didn't seem
to be able to get them off.  (Getting them on had been easy, off was
another matter entirely.) She walked over to Ren and thrust them at her.
        Ren began untying the laces, "Why?"
        Mary was breathing heavily and didn't seem to understand the question at
first, then nodded, "He thinks we're the twins he's looking for.  He
didn't tell me what he meant though, he just locked us down here and told
me to watch you."
        "And you were doing a great job of it too," Ren smiled wryly as she
remembered waking up panicked just minutes earlier.
        Mary grinned sheepishly, "Well you've been out for hours me Twinner, I
got bored and went exploring."  She pulled her hand out as Ren loosened
the last lace, she quickly undid the other glove.  "I did change us out
of the gowns though."  Mary gestured down at her own t-shirt and shorts
(also stolen from the Inca's wardrobe.)
        "You mean the Inca didn't ?"  Ren blushed.
        Mary giggled, "No, he probably would have if he'd known you'd let him!
I think he likes you, should have seen how careful he was with you.  Me,
he just hauled around like a sack of potatoes and tossed down the stairs,
you, you were his sleeping beauty I think."
        Ren tried to hide her smile and looked past Mary at the stairs behind
her, "So ?"
        "The door up there is locked," Mary griped, "There's a fire exit at the
other end of the hall and it's locked too."
        "Why on Earth did he do that?" Ren blinked.
        Mary took a moment to appreciate Ren's Vachon-esque blinking abilities
before answering, "He didn't really say, he isn't much of a talker that
one," Mary made a face, "But it seems the vamps are looking for these
blonde twins who have something, and before you ask I have no idea what,
but the Inca thinks we're them.  Didn't believe me when I said told him
otherwise."
        Ren snorted, "Wonder why?  You're the very soul of honesty."
        "I usually am, there have been and awful lot of extenuating
circumstances lately, you know!" Mary stuck her tongue out at her.
"Anyway, he went out to find out who it is exactly that is looking for us
and why."
        "So the community put an APB on us?" Ren's eyes widened, "That's why
half of Toronto is out to get us?"
        "Well, they're looking for twins, probably a case of mistaken identity,"
Mary chewed her lip in a thoughtful manner, "Maybe the hospital reported
us missing and somehow the vamps put 2 and 2 together and got 5?"
        "But what do the twins have and why are the baddies after them for it?"
Ren demanded.
        Mary ran a hand through her hair, "And I'd know, how?"
        Ren sighed and sank to her knees and gave Sparky a hug, "I feel like
we're stuck in a really bad fanfic."
        Mary took a moment to glare at Ren's bent head (it's not -that- bad!),
then sighed and sat beside her, "I know, but we'll get out of this, I
know we will!"
        "How?"  Ren asked, then here eyes dipped to Mary's feet, "Hey, where'd
you get the tennies?"
        Mary looked down and her shoes, "Oh, the Inca has kinda small feet, they
fit."
        Ren climbed back up and wandered back towards his bedroom.  After
slipping on a pair of worn high tops, she felt much more ready to face
the world.  She turned to Mary (who followed her back), "Well, let's get
crackin', there has to be a way out of here some how!"
        Mary nodded, and they set about searching the abandoned gym for a
possible way out.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
End part 9, continued in part 10
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com


Usual disclaimers, and one to grow on

Twin Karma (10/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        Two hours later they still had nothing.  They'd checked all the small
rooms, including the one the Inca had taken as a bedroom.  Nothing.  They
had no luck in the main gym and the front door and fire exit were
impossible to get around.  (Maybe a skilled locksmith or burglar could
have picked the locks, but the girls were neither.)
        Mary fiddled with the shower knobs in the bathroom, "Well, looks like
were stuck here until the Inca decides to let us out."
        Ren frowned, she didn't like the sound of that.  She wandered up the
locker bank along one wall and kicked the last one, "It just isn't fair!
It's my birthday!  Don't the fates know they're supposed to be nice to
me?!"
        Ren continued to rant and rave for a few minutes, Sparky gave Mary a
questioning look and the blonde just shrugged, "It's her party and she'll
tirade if she wants to."
        After a couple more minutes, Ren calmed down and sat down on a bench
next to Mary.
        "Feel better?" Mary arched a brow.
        "Much. Thank you."  She answered formally, her lips quirking up
slightly.
        Mary swung her legs beneath the bench, watching Sparky nip at the laces
of her stolen shoes, "I wish there was something to pass the time."
        "You could go beat up the punching bags some more," Ren suggested.
        Mary shrugged, "I'm going to be swore as it is.  Hey look!  A radio!"
She hopped up and walked over to switch it on.

        "Loss," The Nightcrawler's voice oozed out through the room, "Have you
ever lost something my friends?  Something  precious?"
        A silly grin overtook Mary's face, "Think he's talking about me?"
        Ren shook her head as she watched her twin start to melt into a puddle
of goo.
        "There is nothing more fascinating than a possibility," The
Nightcrawler's velvet voice crooned on, "And sometimes, gentle listeners,
you'll suddenly be stuck by the absolute  possibility of another person."

        Mary sighed happily.
        "But," His voice took on a dark quality, "There is nothing crueler than
to have that taken away. Teased by the potential, given no  closure."
His intake of breath and a humorless laugh barely transmitted over the
airwaves.
        Mary's eyes widened and she looked over at Ren.  She swallowed audibly,
"I think he's p*ssed."
        Ren walked over and switched the channel.
        "Hey!"
        "There's no point in listening to him now," Ren told her, "It'll only
scare the beegeuses out of us."
        Mary smiled, "And we need all of our beegeuses, right?"
        Ren grinned back, "Right!"


        //"In other new, two bodies were found behind a record store on 4th and
Montgomery earlier tonight.  Preliminary reports are sketchy, but it
seems the two probable mugging victims are females in their late
twenties, Caucasian, and here's one for the X-Files, identical twins.
What do you think of that Jerry?"//

        Mary switched off the radio as the inane radio DJ chit-chat began.
"Those have to be our dooplegangers.  Oh that's not good."
        Ren bent down and picked up Sparky as the pup began to whimper, he'd
picked up on their change of moods.  "I'm going to have to agree with you
on that Twinner.  Not good at all."
        Ren, Mary and Sparky huddled on the bench for a minute, "We got to get
out of here."
        Mary nodded, "But how?"
        Ren looked around the bathroom.  There were no windows in this room, but
she knew the other were boarded up too tightly to be any use to them
anyway.  The doors were hopeless too.  So how could they get out? Ren's
eyes dipped to the floor, they idly traced along the cracked tile until
they landed on a rusted looking grate.  "Um, Mary?"
        Mary tore herself out of her inner self-pity wallowing to look at her
twin, "Yeah?"
        "Where do you think that goes?"  Ren pointed.
        "Straight to hell?"  Mary commented, but none-the-less got up and
approached the grate.  It was about two feet by one foot, (or the metric
equivalent, this being Canada and all.) "Did I ever tell you I'm kind of
claustrophobic?"
        Ren pulled on the grate and was surprised when it came up, "No, but you
want to wait here for god knows how long instead?"
        Mary peered down into the inky blackness.
"And who knows, maybe this is the night Black Buddha takes place and the
Inca won't even be coming back.  We could die down here." Ren added.
        "You're right," Mary agreed reluctantly.  "Hey, maybe Screed will be
down there."
"Maybe.  So we're going down there, right?"  Ren asked.
        "No." Mary shook her head.
        Ren heaved a sigh, "Mary "
        Mary began grumbling under her breath, but eventually crouched down and
climbed down into the drain.
        Ren was glad Mary was going first, it meant she couldn't see the some
what a superior smirk she had on her face. Ren turned and whispered to
Sparky. "Heheh, I win."  When the pup gave her a disapproving look, Ren
shoved the dog into the drain next, "In ya go Sparkster."  Then, with one
last look around, Ren slipped in after them.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

        "Ya know Twinner," Mary commented lightly, "For an unused drain in an
abandoned building, this is surprisingly slimy."
        Sparky yipped in agreement.
        "Yeah, but are you having fun?"  Ren giggled as she trailed after the
other two.  The grate had led to a large industrial type pipe, it was
about three feet in diameter, not exactly cozy, but not too small.
        Mary laughed, "Well, I have to admit that this a lot more memorable than
that bus ride tour of Toronto would have been."
        Ren's hand sunk into something green and kind of fuzzy, "Yeppers, we see
a lot more scenic sights this way!"
        After several minutes of crawling down the increasingly darkening pipe
(and giggling throughout) the girls made a startling discovery.  Well,
actually Mary made it first.  You see, all of the sudden the nice
straight pipe they had been crawling in decided to take a left, then a
right; so the girls followed it.  No problem.  Only, after the next turn,
the pipe suddenly dropped off and fell some thirty feet into a pool of
water below, but Mary failed to discover this until she was already
falling
        "Oh heeeelllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!" Mary yelled, shortly before
splashing down in the water below.
        "Yipppppppp!"  Sparky barked as he tumbled right after her.
        "Mary?"  Ren paused at the top, feeling along the edge as her twin
cursed and sputtered in the water below.  "You okay?"
        Mary trended water and glared up at Ren (this didn't bother Ren, because
of course it was still dark and she couldn't see.)  "Yeah, I'm fine.
It's a pretty long drop, but there's water down here, it's kinda warm
actually "
        Ren realized she was going to have to jump down too, "Oh sh*t."  She
dove down, barely missing Sparky as he happily doggie paddled around
them.  When Ren resurfaced she looked at Mary (or, to where she was
reasonably sure Mary was, given that the lighting situation had yet to
change.)  "Oh wow, it -is- warm!"
        "Told ya so," Mary agreed, "Must be industrial runoff or something,
we'll probably be seeing spots for the next three months, and our
children will have antlers."
        Ren blinked, "I hope that was a joke."
        "Me too," Mary shrugged (hard to do while treading water.) "Let's see if
we can find a way out of here."  She swam over to her left.
        Eventually the pair (and Sparky) pulled themselves out of the water onto
a rickety wrought iron ladder, and climbed up.  At the top, Ren pushed
aside the heavy manhole cover and climbed blurry-eyed into the street
above.  (a main street, lots of traffic, not fun.)  Mary quickly followed
(with a shirt full of puppy) and the pair ran off the road as the
hundreds of late afternoon commuters honked and threw colorful turns of
phrases at them.
        "Well that was an experience," Mary commented, setting the dog back on
the ground and ringing out her hair.
        Sparky shook, spraying the warm (and slightly gray tinted) water
everywhere.  Ren giggled, "And just think, we could have been snapping
pictures of the FK sound stages about now, instead we got to swim in god
knows what and we're  well, where ever this is."  She threw her arms wide
to encompass their unfamiliar surroundings.
        Mary began humming the theme to 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,'  "So,
where to now?"  She began walking  (in no particular direction, the
commuters we're just starting to get on her nerves.)
        Ren fell into step, her sneakers squishing as she walked, "I think you
know where we have to go." Mary looked a bit confused, so Ren clarified,
"Dead twins remember?"
        "The morgue?"  Mary asked.
        "Right-o!"  Ren grinned, "Always wanted to visit the FK morgue, all that
lovely sea green tile, kinda like the Caddy actually " Ren paused to
ponder that for a moment, coincidence?
        "But how are we going to get in?"  Mary pressed.
        "That my friend," Ren signed happily, "Is for you to figure out, you're
the creative one!"
        Mary didn't look too sure, "Since when?"
        Ren just laughed, then went on to tap a pedestrian on the shoulder to
ask for directions to the street the ME's office was on.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
End part 10, continued in part 11
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com



Usual disclaimers, plus a cake

Twin Karma (11/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        "Ya know Twinner, it's surprisingly difficult to get into a morgue if
you aren't dead," Ren commented as the pair paced the familiar parking
lot out in front of the ME's offices.  Luckily the Caddy was -not- parked
out front, but they still had their work cut out for them getting inside
unobserved.
        Mary paused to tie Sparky out behind a dumpster. "Sit boy, we're going
to have enough trouble getting in without Sir Spot-A-Lot."
        The pup looked at her oddly then, after yawning and turning around three
times, settled down to take a nap.
        "Well, he looks excited," Mary cracked wryly, letting Ren pull her
towards the Morgue's side door.  "So what's the plan?"
        "It's your turn to come up with one!" Ren smiled and shoved her twin
into the olive-tiled hall.
        Mary stumbled inside and was relieved to find the hall empty  (she'd
been expecting armed guards for some reason  maybe killer robots.)  She
motioned Ren to follow her and crept down a hall, they knew there was
probably a night watchmen somewhere, but thankfully he seemed to be
elsewhere.  The pair paused at a sign and read, 'ME Lab A: room 122, B:
124, C: 126, etc.'
        The girls exchanged a look, "So where's the cooler?  And which one is
Nat in?"  Mary asked in a hushed tone.
        "I don't know, they never mentioned that on the show!" Ren whispered
back with a shrug.  "But we have to find out about those twins, I don't
think I can handle any more brushes with death."
        "Besides that," Mary looked at her with a nervous grin, "We're running
out of vampires to annoy."

        Suddenly they heard the sound of someone about to come around the
corner, they were whistling (something by the Bee Gees from the sound of
it.)  "Quick!  The guard! In here!"  Ren grabbed Mary and pulled her
inside the closest door.  Shutting it quickly, the pair crouched down and
waited for the Disco-lovin' guard to make his rounds.
        After several tense moments, Mary took a good whiff and decided they
were in a janitor's supply closet  (You just don't run across that kind
of over powering 'pine fresh scent' any place else  well, maybe in Martha
Stewart's place, but that's beside the point.)  "You think he's gone?"
She whispered.
        All at once the door was yanked open.
        "Ack!"  The girls screamed.
        "Ack!" Nat screamed.
        "Natalie!"  Ren exclaimed, climbing to her feet even as Mary tumbled
over and fell flat on her rear.
        "Who are you?"  Nat, who'd been looking for some extra paper towels, was
more than a little surprised to find two blondes hiding in the supply
closet and was shocked to hear them calling her by name! "And what are
you doing in there?!"
        Ren opened her mouth to answer, then shut it.  She couldn't come up with
anything!  She looked at Mary, who was by now climbing back to her feet.
        "We're Enforcers!"  Mary told her with aplomb.
        "What?!" Nat looked at the pair, not only were they dressed in dingy
hockey jerseys and workout shorts, but they'd been hiding in a closet.
Not exactly her idea of an all-powerful-scarier-than-anything-type
vampires! "You are not!"
        "We are too!"  Ren snapped back at her.
        Mary just rose to her full impressive height and stared down at the
pathologist with a 'you're questioning -me-?!' look on her face. "Have
you ever met an Enforcer?"
        "No," Nat shook her head slowly, as a matter of fact she hadn't, but
Nick had told her about the vampire Gestapo, and these two sure didn't
fit the description!
        "Then how do you know we aren't Enforcers?"  Mary arched a brow, her
tone slightly amused.  "Besides, who else could we be?"
        Nat glared at Ren and Mary, who was reminding her just a tad too much of
Lacroix, and it suddenly occurred to her that those these two might not
be Enforcers, they were probably vampires  ('a whiter shade of pale'
ain't just a song!)  So, she should probably just play along, save her
own neck and call Nick later. "So what do you want?"
        Ren and Mary exchanged a surprised look, she believed them?  Wow!  "Um,"
Ren began, "We need to find out about two supposed mugging/murder victims
brought in today?  Twins?"
        Nat shook her head, "Not my case."
        Mary frowned, "But you can still find out for us can't you?"
        Nat sighed, "Yeah, yeah."  She wandered off mumbling under her breath
about how much work she had and how annoyingly pushy people with fangs
were, "Annoying  bloodsucking  better things to do then cater to bossy "
        "I think she's ticked," Mary whispered.
        "Gee I wonder why," Ren cracked, following after Nat and hauling Mary
along.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        Twenty minutes later, they had the report in hand, Nat had shown them
the bodies and then unceremoniously shoved them back outside.  Sparky sat
up and stretched as he heard the door slam behind them.
        "Wow," Mary rubbed her rear (where the door had hit her on the way out)
"Nat sure doesn't have much self preservation instinct does she?"
        "And we should talk?"  Ren grinned.
        Mary grinned back, "True."

        The pair walked to a nearby BuckStars and sat down outside, minutes
later the cute coffee guy gave them free java (they just had an aura of
caffeine withdrawal around them that their fellow coffee-lover recognized
and felt the need to help them with.)
        "So what do we have?" Ren asked as she sipped her coffee.
        "Well, they were twins, they got shot, they died," Mary looked up from
the file, "It's just a preliminary report, doesn't say much else."
        "But,"  Ren grabbed the file, "It has to tell us something!  We can't
have lied to Nat for nothing!"
        Mary sighed and took a sip of her coffee, "Ow!"
        Ren looked up, "What?"
        "Urned my ongue!"  Mary fanned her singed tongue, "Bad karma I guess."
        "Great, that's all we need," Ren sighed and re-read the report.  "Well,
it says their purses were taken, but their jewelry was still in place
suggesting it was a quick unprofessional hit."
        Mary smacked herself in the forehead, "Oh geez!  We should have made Nat
let us look at their personal effects!  Whatever the vamps want might
have been on them!"
        "And if they really were just mugged by mortal scum bags it might have
still been with them!"  Ren finished for her in a squeal, "But that means
we have to go back doesn't it?"
        Mary nodded, "Nat's gonna kick our asses!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        Twenty minutes later they were sifting through a cardboard box in the
forensic lab as Nat grumbled behind them about stakes and garlic.
        "We're really sorry about this Doctor Lambert," Mary told her as she
carefully unfolded the clothes with latex encased hands.
        "Yeah, we didn't think of this until after we'd left," Ren smiled
apologetically at Nat.
        The coroner just rolled her eyes, "Yeah, just hurry it up will you?  I
have work to do, some of us don't have eternity ya know."
        "Grouchy much?" Mary pulled out a couple of plastic baggies and held
them up to get a better look at what was inside.
        "I don't suppose you two will let me get any samples will you?"  Nat
asked idly as she waited.
        "Uh," Ren looked at Mary you shook her head vigorously, "Sorry, but
they, the Enforcers have rules against that kind of thing."
        Mary laughed nervously.  "Bureaucracy of the undead you know, terrible
mess if we go against the rules."
        Nat narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything else.
        Ren and Mary looked at each other over the box and silently agreed never
to mess with Nat again, she was scary!
        "Hey, look at this!" Ren held up a baggy with an amulet and gold chain
in it.  About the size of a silver dollar, it was an old looking thing,
designed to look a little like a stylized rabbit.  "This has got to be
it!  It's the only weird thing in the box."
        Mary peered at it, "Poor girls, what did they get themselves involved
in?"
        Ren sighed, "Whatever it is, we seem to have inherited their troubles,
and hopefully this thing will get us out of them!"
        "What's going on?"  Nat asked, "What is that thing?  And what do you
know about those twins?"
        "Um," Ren pocketed the amulet, "We have to go now."
        Nat glared at them, "Fine, just get out of here then."
        "Should we whammy her?"  Mary asked, then at Ren's confused look added
theatrically, "We don't want her to be a threat to the -Community- do
we?"
        "Oh right!" Ren nodded, noticing out of the corner of her eye that for
the first time that night Nat actually looked a little worried.  "Guess
we better, the Community and all."
        "Um, what?"  Nat took a step back then stopped and shrugged, "Okay, do
what you must."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        Later, back in the alley Ren turned to Mary and said, "Well that was
interesting."
        Mary nodded, remembering how they'd pretended to whammy Nat, and the
coroner pretend to -be- whammied.  It was all very surreal and she was
quiet proud of them all for not laughing. "Yeah, it was weird."
        Ren nodded and then grinned wickedly, "We should have made her cluck
like a chicken!"
        Mary looked at her, shocked for a moment, but then she started giggling.
 Soon the pair were doubled over laughing in the alley as Sparky hopped
on his hind legs between them.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
End part 11, continued in part 12
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com


Usual disclaimers, and the never-ending saga of Ren's b-day continues J

Twin Karma (12/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        Several moments and six disco chicken jokes later, the girls and Sparky
regained their composure and walked out of the alley, only to be
confronted with the sight of the Caddy pulling up in front of the morgue.
        "Uh-oh!" The blondes gasped as Nick and Schanke stepped out onto the
curb.
        "You're all right!"  Nick shouted in joy and rushed up, hugging first
Ren then Mary.  "We looked for you after the fight at the Azure!  We
didn't know what happened to you, it was like you disappeared!  Are you
okay?  Did they get you?  What happened?!"
        Schanke just stood back and watched, looking utterly confused.
        "Uh, Nick!  We uh," Ren began, then looked at Mary, who just shrugged.
        Just then, Nat walked out and stood next to Schank, she somehow managed
to look annoyed -and- scared. (It was an amazing expression really.)
        Ren looked past the jubilant Nick and saw a scowling Nat.  Ren contorted
her face, trying to look both menacingly vampiric for the coroner and
helplessly damselic (damselic?!  That's not even -close- to a real word!)
for Nick at the same time  it gave her a headache.
        Luckily for the girls, one member of their audience couldn't have cared
less what their story was, he had a job to do.  Schanke cleared his
throat, "Hate to interrupt this little lovefest Nick, but the Fradson
case remember?  Cohen's going to have our heads on a platter if we don't
wrap it up soon!"
        Nick looked over his shoulder at his partner, "Yeah, right."  He looked
back at Ren and Mary, pulling a key off his key chain. "Here, go let
yourselves into the loft, and -wait- there for me, I'll be there as soon
as I can."  And with that he, his partner and Nat all went into the ME's
building, leaving the pseudo-twins standing there on the corner.
        Mary looked down at the key in her hand than looked at Ren, "So, the
loft?"
        Ren shrugged, "Might as well, at least until we can figure out what the
amulet is for."  She looked down at the dog, "What do you think
Sparkster?"
        "Yip!"
        "More coffee you say boy?"  Mary asked the dog in her best 'timmy's down
the well, lassie?' voice.  "Buckstars?"
        Ren laughed, "Okay, Buckstars, then the loft."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        After hitting up the same java jockey for free mochas, Ren and Mary
noticed an internet cafe across the street from their favorite coffee
dispensers.
        "You know, I bet we can find out more about the amulet on the net." Mary
said as she wiped the cappuccino foam from her nose.
        "It's worth a shot anyway," Ren nodded.
        So the girls headed across the way and entered the establishment.  After
twenty minutes of surfing (carefully avoiding any and all Hanson sites)
they hit pay dirt.
        "Look Ren!"  Mary said excitedly, "Here's the piece right here!  Says
here it's an ancient talisman used by the pre-christian Gauls to ward off
and control evil spirits!"
        Ren leaned over from her own computer and took a peek, "That's it all
right.  And if the Enforcers want it you can be that that 'evil' they're
talking about has something to do with ye ol' blood suckers."
        "I wonder how the twins got a hold of it?"  Mary inquired.
        "Got that right here," Ren hit a few keys on her board, "The Medallion
of Malevolence,' its part of the Touring Monaco Exhibit currently at the
Toronto Art Museum!  Monaco, that sounds familiar doesn't it?"  She shot
Mary a knowing look.
        "Janette," Mary whispered, "Mild mannered club owner and vamp double O
seven it seems."
        "So the twins must have been bringing the thing to Janette," Ren bit her
lip, "I guess the Enforcer-types must have heard about it and want it
too."
        "And the question is," Mary stared wide eyed at the page, realizing at
once that Lacroix and Nick had no idea what Janette must be up to, "What
the heck we're going to do with it?"
        Just then Ren noticed the guy behind the counter eyeing them. "Oh geez,
we still don't have any money.  How are we going to pay for this?"
        "Ugh," Mary handed her Nick's key, "Better go get our purses, I'll stay
here and read up on the evil eye."
Ren sighed, "'Kay, be back soon."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        Ren left Sparky with Mary (seeing eye dog, yeah, that's it mister
computer guy, he's allowed in here!) and headed towards the loft.  She
was about half way there when she heard the engine of a motorcycle roar
behind her.  Turning, she beheld the leather-clad glory that was Vachon!
        Ren's eyes widened, her mouth went dry  she could see the Spaniard's
finely sculpted lips moving slowly, but the only thing she could hear was
the only frantic beating of her own heart.  Seconds later she found
herself on the back of his bike holding on for dear life.
        "Ack!" Ren squeaked as her thoughts again became her own (and a bug
ended it's slimy little life in her teeth) "Where are we going?"  She
yelled.
        "Somewhere safe!"  He yelled back, "I'm going to keep you safe
Quiedera."
        Now Ren liked the idea of being safe (and -really- liked the idea of
Vachon being the one to keep her that way) but the fact that her dog and
best twin Mary were currently being held hostage by the laws of
capatalism kinda took the shine off the ol' apple.  "Wait! What's this
about?  Safe from who?  And what about Mary?!"
        Dispite the wind whipping past her at sixty miles per hour, Ren still
heard Vachon's annoyed sigh.  Seconds later he pulled over and turned on
the seat to look at her, his lips quirked up in an amused smile, "Don't
you realise you're supposed to let the hero whisk you away to safety?"
His eyes were twinkling at her.  "Women today, they just don't get it."
        "Well, If you're the hero that means I'm the heroine,"  Ren paused to
savor that for a moment, "And if that's the case that means I have to
save my friends too doesn't it?  And what happened with Screed?  You two
find out who's after us?"
        Vachon's smile disappeared, "No.  Screed's still looking, but all we
could find out was that who ever they are, they're very powerful  and
mean."
        Ren shivered involuntarily at that.
        Vachon scooped off his leather jacket and settled it on her shoulders.
"Come on, I have a place up North  we can disappear for awhile."
        As his chocolate eyes gazed into her baby blues, Ren almost agreed with
that, then her twin's face popped into her head (she'll never forgive
Mary for that! ) "No, we have to go back for my friend."  Ren
insisted, "We have to pay the 'net cafi too."
        Vachon frowned slightly, then he nodded, "Sure, we'll go get her."
        "And my puppy," Ren added.
        Vachon blinked, "OK, your puppy too."
        Ren shot him a dazzling smile, "You really are wonderful."  She sighed.
        Vachon smiled back at her before turning back and starting his bike.
        Ren wrapped her arms around Vachon's T-shirt clad form, enjoying the
muscular build under the thin cotton.  She directed him back towards the
cafi, "Left here, another left, straight, now a right, hey!  You missed
the last turn!"  She yelled, watching as they whipped past the street
Mary and Sparky waited on.
        "Someone's following us," Vachon shouted back.
        Ren's eyes widened, she looked over her shoulder and for the first time
noticed the black sedan tailing them.  "Who are they?"
        "I don't know," Vachon told her, "But we're going to lose them!"
        And with that Vachon began speeding down side streets, circling back to
the highway and barreling down the road.
        The sedan followed.
        "Damn!"  Vachon cursed, "Well let's see if they'll follow us this way!"
He shot Ren a devil-make-care grin and gunned the engine.
        Ren's heart began beating double time and she hung on for dear life as
Vachon took a hairpin turn and roared down a tiny two-lane stretch of
road.
        The sedan followed.
        "Are they vampires?"  Ren asked.
        Vachon stiffened at the question, but then confirmed her suspicion with
a quick jerk of his head.  "Yeah."
        Ren tightened her hold.  The sedan sped up, yanking into the lane next
to them Ren watched in horror as one tinted window lowered and a gun
aimed right at her.  "Sh*t!"
        Ren felt Vachon's muscles tighten under her fingertips, the next thing
she knew he was jerking the bike to the left and pulling himself and her
into the air.  Ren had the sensation of being yanked backwards and
straight up at the same time.  She watched as the motorcycle they'd just
been riding on went crashing into car, it skidded down, sparks flew
everywhere.  The driver of the sedan was forced to slam on the breaks and
steer away from the wrecking bike and went crashing into the ditch on the
side of the rode.  The car flipped over almost immediately. The still
skidding bike, careening on top of it all.
        "Oh hell!"  Ren screamed, waiting to see the doors fly open, the
vampires inside pour out and come after them.
        "Hang on," Vachon told her, holding her tight against his body and
racing away from the destruction.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        As Vachon swept her inside the Church, Ren fairly sobbed with relief.
He'd flown with her so quickly she'd had trouble catching so much as a
mouthful of air the entire way!  When he released her, she collapsed on
the couch and gasped for breath.
        "Are you all right?"  He knelt on the floor beside her, "Any idea what
they wanted?"
        Ren nodded, "This," She pulled the amulet from her pocket (thankfully it
hadn't fallen out along the way!)  "It's magic, it's supposed to have
some power over vampires, but what kind I don't know."
        Vachon took the medallion and blinked, "It's a rabbit."
        "Uh, yeah," Ren nodded, catching her breath at last.  "As far as we can
figure out that's what they want."
        "We?"
        "Mary and me," Ren nodded, then looked anxious, "Oh Mary!  She's still
stuck at the internet cafi!  We-"  But Ren's words broke off in a
startled gasp as a strange light seemed to engulf Vachon.  It started at
the hand holding the necklace, but it quickly overtook him.
        In the next instant  he was gone!
        "Vachon!"  Ren screamed.  Looking down she saw that his clothes and the
amulet lay on the floor.  Tears filled Ren's eyes, she'd just found out
why the Enforcers wanted the amulet out of circulation!  Suddenly she
noticed a slight movement from under the pile of t-shirt and jeans.
        "Oh my god!"  Ren whispered as a small dark brown bunny wiggled it's way
out from under the cloths.  She scooped the long eared rodent up by the
nape of the neck, "Javier?"
        The rabbit wiggled its chocolate brown nose at her.
        "Oh hell."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
End part twelve, continued in thirteen.
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com


Usual disclaimers, and confetti

Twin Karma (13/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        A half an hour later Ren wandered back into the cafi, Vachon's wallet in
her pocket (well, it's not like he needed it anymore)  Without a word she
paid the guy behind the counter and led Mary and Sparky outside.
        "Ren!" Mary gushed, "You'll never believe what I found out about that
amulet!  It-"
        "It turns vampires into rabbits," Ren finished unenthusiastically.
        Mary's eyes widened, "Yeah, at least that's the legend.  But how'd you
know?"
        Ren turned to Mary and felt her eyes fill up, "Because the Slacker is a
wasically wabbit!"  She wailed and fell into her twin's shocked arms.
        Mary led Ren over to a bench and sat them down, Sparky leapt into Ren's
lap and the blonde instantly hugged him.
"Vachon? A rabbit?"  Mary shook her head and asked in a dazed matter,
"What- what happened?"
        Ren quickly mumbled out the story between hiccuping sobs.  "And, and I
left him in the back room, we'll have to go back and take him some
lettuce and rabbit pellets!  Waahhh!"
        "Oh geez," Mary just sat there in shock.
        
        Ren and Mary ignored the sound of traffic as they tried to come to grips
with one of their favorite hunks new fuzziness.
        
        Finally the girls looked up, a black Jaguar had pulled up to the curb in
front of them, the passenger's side window rolled down revealing
Lacroix.  "Get in."
        Ren and Mary looked at each other, and shrugged. It's not like they had
anything better planned, though this was still sort of a shock.  They got
up and walked towards the sleek automobile.
        Lacroix popped the door.
        The pair peeked in, "There's only two seats."  Mary stated the obvious.
        "You can both fit," Lacroix sounded at once bored and annoyed, "Get in."
        Mary climbed in, Ren squeezed in next to her, Sparky squished in too.
        "Break fast and we'll never forgive you," Ren glared at him when he eyed
the dog menacingly.
        Lacroix raised an eyebrow at Ren, but then shrugged, as if munchin'
Sparky had been the last thing on his 2000 year old mind.  He turned in
his seat as if preparing to restart the engine, when he said, "So do you
have it then?"
        "Have it?"  Mary repeated slowly.
        "The amulet," Lacroix glared at her, "You do have it I presume."
        "You know about that?" Ren squeaked.
        "Of course," He said matter-of-factly, though everyone knew that he must
have just learned about it, otherwise he would had said something at the
Azure, "Nothing happens in this city that -I- don't hear about."
        "So you talked to Janette?" Ren asked.
        "Janette?"  His eyebrows shot straight up, "What does she have to-"  He
trailed off, realizing that he'd just ruined his omniscient routine.
"Hand it over." He demanded brusquely.
        "Now wait a minute Lacroix," Ren began, "You don't know what-"
        "Silence!  Just hand it over." He ground out.
        "Give it to him Twinner, if he really wants it there's no way we'll be
able to talk him out of it," Mary looked annoyed.
        "But," Ren looked at Mary.
        "Now!" Lacroix snapped.
        Ren just shrugged and handed him the necklace.
        Lacroix looked down at the amulet in his hand, seconds later an intense
white light enveloped him and he disappeared.  In his place was a small
gray rabbit.
        "Little Bunny Foo Foo," A slightly dazed Ren sang under her breath.
        Mary just sat staring down at the hare for a moment, then she scooped it
up and let it loose in the small space behind the Jaguar's bucket seats,
"Well, one good thing-"
        "What's that?" Ren asked.
        "At least he drives an automatic," Mary forced a smile and slid behind
the wheel, "Where to?"
        The surrealness of it all combined then and both girls burst out in
giggles. Ren looked over at her friend, "Next year a card will be enough
Twinner."
        "What?!  Turning a master vampire into a bunny isn't a birthday present
enough for you?" Mary asked in mock exasperation. "You want a card too?!"
        "Yep!" Ren laughed, "One from Hallmark!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        After swinging by the Church, Ren and Mary smuggled their two bunnies
and Dalmation into the Raven, and barricaded themselves all up in
Janette's room.
        Ren began digging around the escritoire for a phone number they could
reach the vampiress at.  "Somebody has got to tell us what the hell is
going on!"  She griped as she tossed aside the home perm coupons (say it
ain't so!) in a frantic search for clues.
        "One great big play for vampiric power," Mary told the floppy eared
general, "Why couldn't your children be involved in something normal,
huh?  Has to be a big drama, no D&D for her, just had to-"
        "Mary," Ren waited for her to look up and threw an eraser at her, "Come
on and help me, okay?"
        Mary gave the gray rabbit once last warning look and went to help search
the desk.  They spent the next hour going through every nook and cranny
in the room but came up empty.  Miklos popped his head in once, gave them
and their pets an odd look, then went back to the bar.
        After several more futile minutes, Mary groaned in disgust, "I'm going
out for coffee, be back in a few."
        Ren nodded and called out, "Bring me back a Cafi la Orange,"  As she
headed down the stairs.
        Ren gave the piles of loose paper one last flip and decided what she
really needed was a long, hot bath.     Leaving the animals gnawing on the
expensive French furniture, Ren wandered into Janette's huge bathroom and
ran a bath in the sunken tub.  She added some Jessica McClintock bubble
bath to the running water and found a button that started the jets.  She
sighed in contentment as she sank into the fragrant water and let the
whirling bubbles ease her worries away.

        She must have fallen asleep because the next thing Ren knew, Mary was
screaming in the other room.  "Twinner?!"  Ren called out, climbing out
of the tub and racing to the main room.
        Mary stood there, staring down at a rather swarmy looking bunny that
could only be Miklos. "We got another one Twinner," Mary looked up and
met Ren's eyes, laughter started shining behind her blue eyes.
        "Oh sh*t!" Ren gasped, realizing she'd left the amulet sitting on the
bed when she'd emptied her pockets before her bath.  (in hindsight, not
the smartest thing she'd ever done.)
        "What's going on, I don't understand " For the first time Ren noticed
Nick standing right behind Mary, looking utterly confused.
        "Ack!" Ren shriek.  (She'd just realized she was standing stark naked in
the bathroom door!)  Nick's head snapped up, she saw a little boy's smile
light his face in the second it took for her to slam the door.  "What's
-he- doing with you?"
        "I thought he could maybe help," Mary apologized as she blushed almost
as brightly as Ren.  "Ya know, since all the vamps seem to be going bunny
on us."
        When Ren emerged from the bathroom moments later fully dressed, she
found Nick looking disbelievingly down at the hares.  It was obvious he
hadn't completely bought Mary's story, she shrugged, it didn't really
matter to her what Nicky-poo thought.  She looked at her Twin, "So, did
you remember the coffee?"
        "Of course,"  Mary grinned and held up two tall paper cups with
'Buckstar's' stamped on the sides.  She handed her a Cafi la Orange and
sipped her mocha.  "Was there ever any doubt?"

        "Lacroix?"
        Ren and Mary turned to see Nick on the floor talking to the gray rabbit.
 The rabbit wiggled its nose at the blond vampire.  Something seemed to
pass between the two because suddenly Nick believed. He scooped up the
hare and sat him on his lap, talking to him gently, "I don't know if you
can understand me mon pere, but I'll get you out of this, some how I
will.  I swear it."
        The rabbit just piddled on him.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
End part thirteen, continued in fourteen
Comments to Cousin Mary at anteros@juno.com


Usual disclaimers, and we enter the home stretch, yay!!!

Twin Karma (14/14)
        By: Twin Mary

        "So what do we do now?"  Ren and Mary's bright eyes turned on Nick.
        "Um, we, um," Nick was clueless. (shocked aren't you? )
        "Hey, I know!"  Mary stabbed one finger in the air (the classic 'Eureka'
pose) "The Museum!  The amulet was part of the exhibit, maybe there's
some anti-bunny bracelet or something that goes with it!"
        "Yeah!" Ren grinned, "Great thinking me Twinnner!"
        Nick looked less than convinced, "'Anti-bunny bracelet?'" He repeated
sarcastically, "And what?  Matching wombat earrings?"
        "Hey, you have a better idea fang-boy?"  Ren glared at him.
        Nick sighed, "I guess not."
        And with that the twin, Sparky and a bunny laden Nick all left, via the
Caddy, and headed towards the Toronto Art Museum.
        Parking in a handicapped spot (bad Nick!) the party quickly climbed the
steps and snuck inside.

        "Oh geez, you just completely broke that lock!" Mary whispered as she
followed Nick inside.
        "Yeah well I don't exactly have a key," Nick snapped at her, "And it's
not like I can wait until 9 AM for it to open."
        Ren was somewhat taken aback by Nick's overall snippiness. "Have a cow
why don't you?"  Then the irony of her statement hit her and she glanced
at Mary, they both started giggling.
        Nick ignored them.
        The Monaco Exhibit was on the second floor of the new wing, so they
headed up the stairs as quickly as they could with their arms filled with
wiggling rabbits.  Nick had insisted on carrying his master (La Squirt),
Ren had Vachon and Mary was left with Miklos.  Sparky trotted happily
behind them, wagging his spotted little tail, just happy to be off a
leash.
        "Finally!" Mary sighed as they reached the double doors that led to the
exhibit.  She held Miklos-rabbit out in front of her and glared at him,
the little creep had been trying to dive down the front of her shirt for
quite a while now  perverted little bunny!
        Throwing the doors wide, Nick revealed to them all the glory the Monaco
could offer!  Surprisingly, it didn't quite fill an entire room.
        "Gee, looks like they don't let much out of the county," Ren commented
as she wandered into the center of the exhibit.
        "Well, would you trust your crown jewels to," Mary's voice lowered
ominously, "Canadians?"
        "Ha ha," Nick glared at them, then cursed as Lacroix had another
'accident.'  "Dammit!" He dropped the rabbit, who quickly darted under a
large case filled with coins.
        "Never mind," Mary told him, "He's okay under there for a bit, let's
look around."
        Just as they were setting down to work, a flashlight shot through the
dimness and illuminated their faces.
        When Gus first looked in at the two leggy blondes, one fluffy headed
guy, three rabbits and puppy running around the Otis Miller Memorial
Wing, his first reaction had been to wonder if maybe he shouldn't give up
drinking.  It had taken several moments, but he'd eventually realized
that this wasn't a hallucination brought on by his good friend Jack
Daniel's, this was really happening! "Hey now, what's going on here?"
The security guard demanded.
        "Uh-oh." Ren whispered.
        "I'll take care of it," Nick told her, then walked up to the guard, "Hi,
this isn't what it looks like, we-"
        Ren and Mary could almost hear the  in the air.  Seconds
later Gus left, remembering nothing.
        "That -is- handy," Mary nodded appreciatively as Nick returned to their
sides.
        "Nothing to it," He grinned back.
        "So, where do we start?"  Ren asked, then she looked up at the huge sign
with a Rabbit on it, "Oh, maybe there?"
        Ren, Mary and Nick all headed over and leaned down to peer into the
case.

        Suddenly the doors burst open again, only this time instead of Gus it
was the Enforcers!
        "We knew you'd come here eventually!"  They sneered.  "Now you will
die!"
        "Oh hell!"  Mary yelped.
        Sparky began barking.  Nick bared his fangs. The Enforcers growled.
        "Stop it!"  Ren yelled at the top of her lungs, "It's my birthday!  You
can't kill us!"
        The Enforcers looked at Ren, their fanged jaws slightly agape.  "What?"
One asked.
        "You heard me!"  Ren stomped her foot, hysterical laughter starting to
tickle her stomach, "Stop right there or I'll-"
        "You'll what?"  One sneered at her.
        "I'll turn you into rabbits!"  She held the amulet high, as she did,
Vachon wiggled loose and hopped a few feet in front of her.  "Just like I
did him!"  She pointed at the rabbit, who was now sitting down and
staring at the Enforcers in a rather unnerving-bunny manner.
        The Enforcers looked a little worried.
        "She can do it!"  Mary said, "I've seen it.  She has great power!"
        Lacroix came out from under the case and piddled on an Enforcer's shoe.
        "Ick!"  The Enforcer booted the bunny across the hall.
        "Noooo!" Nick, who'd been standing idly by trying to figure out what was
going on until this point, snapped at the sight of Lacroix getting his
fluffy little tail punted across the way.  He dove at the Enforcers, eyes
red, fangs bared.
        Ren and Mary stared in awe as Nick tore into the two Enforcers.  But
after a few minutes it became obvious that Nick was no match for them.
        "Twinner we've got to do something!"  Mary cried.
        Ren looked at her, then around widely.  "But what?!"
        Then suddenly it came to her, "The amulet!"  She threw it to the ground
and stomped on it, shattering it to pieces.  The second she did, Lacroix,
Vachon and Miklos all returned to their true forms.  (Interesting to
note, they were all naked.)
        The vamps quickly lunged in to the brawl and fought with Nick against
the Enforcers.
        "We did it Mary!" Ren hugged her, "We did it!"
        Mary grinned, hugging her twin back and hopping up and down at the same
time. Then she happened to look down at the broken amulet, "Uh, Twinner?"
        "What?"  Ren looked down, an eerie white light was starting to come from
the broken talisman.  Then it shot towards them, enveloping them in a
light-filled mist.  "Oh sh*t."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        When Ren woke up it was to the steady pounding of a something pink,
fluffy and smelly in her face.  "Ack!"  She swatted it away.
        "Mean Lady!'  Came an outraged wail.  Ren looked up to see a ticked off
two year old glaring at her, the toddler's toy rabbit it swatted down on
to the seat beside her.  Slightly stunned, Ren handed the tot back his
toy and watched him slide back down into his own seat.
        She was on an airplane!  Ren looked around frantically.
        "Would you like some more coffee Ms. Miller?"
        "Huh?"  Ren turned her eyes on the smiling flight attendant, 'Monica.'
(Monica - Monaco?)  "Um, yeah, please."
        As she the cup sitting next to the pizza crust on her lunch tray was
refilled, Ren looked down at the car magazine open on her lap, she'd been
reading it when she'd fallen asleep!  Pictured in the article on design?
A Ford Tempo and a black Jaguar.  "Was it all a dream?"  She mumbled to
herself.
        As she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, the captain turned on the
'fasten seat belt sign.'
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
        Later Ren came down the ramp and got her first glimpse of the Toronto
International Airport.
        "Twinner!"
        Ren looked over to see Mary standing in the back of the crowd, smiling
and waving her arms frantically to get her attention.  She smiled and
rushed to her side, "Mary!  It's so good to see you!  Though on the plane
I had the weirdest dream!"
        "Really?"  Mary's eyes widened, "About Vachon?"  She giggled.
        "He was in it, yeah," Ren blushed.  "Come on, let's go get some coffee
and I'll tell you about it."
        Suddenly Ren heard a "Yip!"  She looked down and was astounded to see a
Dalmatian puppy standing on its hind legs, tongue lolling out, looking at
her.
        "Happy birthday Ren!" Mary crowed, "Like him?  He's your present!"
        Ren knelt down and let the pup shower her faces with kisses.  "He was in
my dream!"  Ren exclaimed in shock.
        Mary was astounded but then grinned, "Well, it's gotta be that 'twin
karma' at work again!  What you gonna name him?"
        Ren smiled, "There's only one name he -could- have!"
        "What's that?" Mary asked.
        "Sparky!"
        "Great name."  Mary grinned, "Now come on.  What do you want to do first
for your birthday?  All of Toronto is our playground!"
        Ren thought about it for a long minute, "I want to do it all!  But
first," Ren yawned hugely, "I think I need a nap!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Happy birthday Twinner!  Hope you liked it!

Comments to Cousin Mary anteros@juno.com
Birthday wishes to Ren DarkPNinja@aol.com

    Source: geocities.com/area51/hollow/1228/fic

               ( geocities.com/area51/hollow/1228)                   ( geocities.com/area51/hollow)                   ( geocities.com/area51)