War: DP:  The Queen of Tarts and All Her Little Men (1/2)
Place: DP Mansion and later the Loft
Time: Wednesday afternoon 'til dawn on Thursday the 11th 

By: Cousin Mary and Anne

	(A timer sounds, and Anne and Mary walk into the kitchen, continuing a 
conversation)
	
	"Are you sure it was Qa'Ra?" Anne asked, taking a pan of brownies out of 
the oven and setting them on the counter.
 
"Absolutely.  Definitely.  100%." Mary declared, nodding vigorously.
 
Anne shook her head.  "He's supposed to be staked and buried under what's 
left of the NA Shrine."  She rubbed her back absently.
 
"I guess he's much too old and powerful for that," Mary commented, and 
reached for the brownies.
 
Anne yanked them out of reach.  "Don't touch them.  These are coffee-less 
brownies for Wolfy."
 
Mary jerked her hand back faster than if she'd been burned.  "Coffee-*less* 
brownies?  That's sacrilege!"
 
"Just because he's off coffee doesn't mean that he shouldn't get brownies."  
Anne said firmly.
 
Mary shrugged.  DPs not drinking coffee was a problem she'd deal with later.  
She poured herself a mug of coffee and another one for Anne.
 
The Perkulator Librarian took it and breathed in the aroma.  "Ahh. Qa'Ra or 
not, this smells divine.  I've been so busy baking and cleaning this war I haven't had 
time for a cup, yet."
 
At that moment, Burp raced across the counter and jumped off, caught 
Anne's arm like a trapeze artiste, swung around, and flew off to the next counter, 
knocking her coffee, mug and all, to the floor.
 
The fearsome Dark Perk Godmommy giggled (yes, actually *giggled*). Anne 
rolled her eyes.  "What a waste of good coffee."
 
"It's a good thing you bought all that cleaning stuff, though," Mary said 
between giggles at the sight of Burp du Soleil.
 
"Anticipating the messes we'd have," Anne called over her shoulder as she 
walked over to the cleaning supply closet.  She opened the door and stared.  "And it 
looks like we have another mess in here."

The was a  sound.

"What?"  Mary leaned over and looked, "Is that a Cousin?"

"A Cousin that fainted," Anne agreed, she leaned down and peered at the 
girl, "Why does her shirt say insane?"

"Some of Wolfy's shirts say that," Mary shrugged, "I think that's Shelley, she's 
the one who maxed out Lacroix's credit cards last war."

"Lacroix has a limit?"  Anne was surprised.

"Well, maybe they weren't maxed out," Mary conceded, "But she apparently 
went a little nuts with them."

"So why is she here?"  Anne asked.

"Dunno," Mary shrugged, then closed the closet door.

"You can't just leave her there!"  Anne laughed.

"Why?  She seems happy, cuddling that orange cleaner like a teddy bear," 
Mary smiled, "We'll get her when she wakes up.  I still have to tell you about the UF's 
party."

Anne shrugged and followed Mary back to the counter and proceeded to 
help the Godmommy make a few sandwiches for lunch.  "So?  I heard Caro taking 
non-stop about Miklos a bit ago.  What happened?"

"Well," Mary grinned, ready to gossip her heart out, "He's gorgeous, as 
always, and was behind the bar and-"

"Who else was there?"  Anne asked, reaching for the mustard.

"Uh Janette, Alma was supposed to be there, I heard rumors about Lacriox," 
Mary snitched a pickle, "All the factions were there, saw some Cousins, N&N Pack, 
Diehards oh Kimmer was at the bar with us harassin' Miklos."

"What about the NA and the Knighties?"  Anne asked.

"Yeah," Mary's smile faded a bit.

"What?"  Anne stopped mid tomato slice, "What happened?"

"Um, some of the Knighties got into the caffeine and uh," Mary paused, she 
knew Anne wasn't going to like what she had to say, "Well, I don't really know who 
was involved, I was kind of distracted by-"

"Yeah Miklos," Anne's eyes narrowed, "What don't you want to tell me?"

Mary looked around the room for a way out, but short of Shelley waking up at 
that exact moment she didn't see one, "Well, the Knighties got over-caffeinated and 
started bouncing around a bit."

"And?"

"And," Mary paused, took a deep breath and spit it out, "Then Eowyn, she's a 
Knightie too, anyway, she saw the bouncing and called them all…"

"What?"  Anne demanded, "What did she call them?"

"Perks," Mary backed away from Anne, after all, the Perk librarian was still 
holding that knife…  "She said, 'The Knighties are becoming Perks!'"

Anne went very still and calmly put down the knife and the tomato, "Perks do 
not bounce."

Mary nodded, hoping Anne wasn't going to blow up.  But the librarian's green 
eyes were flashing and her back was just a little too straight.

"The NatPack bounce, it's their trademark," Anne went on, still deadly calm.

"So, uh," Mary looked around wildly, "Oh look!  The Cousin is awake!"  She 
threw open the closet door and nudged Shelley with the toe of her shoe 'til the 
blonde woke up.

"Whaaah?"  Shelley looked up groggily, still looking for someone to follow.

"Shelley!"  Mary grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet, "Come with me!  
We're uh, going to run away a bit until Anne's calmed down and then I think we're 
going to attack the Knighties!"

Shelley blinked, "Ok."

Mary paused for a bit and frowned, she hadn't expected the Cousin to agree.  
But then she decided she'd figure it out later and get herself and their uh, kidnap 
victim or whoever Shelley was, out of there.

>>>>>>>>>

	An hour or so later when Anne had calmed down enough to be around 
people again, she found Mary and Eric in the lounge watching Cousin Shelley polish 
the bar.

	"What's going on?"  The now reasonably calm librarian asked.

	"She does whatever you tell her!"  Mary explained, amazed.  

	Eric nodded, "We've already had her oil all the hinges on the trap doors, 
sharpen the lawn mower blades and scrub that weird stain off the ceiling in Gubs 
room."

	"What is that stain anyway?"  Mary asked.  Eric and Anne just shrugged.

	"So is she just super helpful?"  Anne asked, watching Shelley polish the 
brass fixtures.

	"We think she got whammied, " Eric said, "Lacroix maybe, possibly Vachon."

	"Why Vachon?"  Anne frowned.

	"Why would Lacroix send us someone to clean our house?"  Mary pointed 
out, "At least Vachon likes us."

	"Yes, but Vachon would need his own place cleaned before ours," Anne 
rationalized, "I mean, the Mansion is usually spotless, not so much the Church."

	"True," Mary began chewing on her lip, "Maybe she just got lost?"

	The three Thugs thought about it while they followed Shelley around the 
Mansion and watched her vacuum.  

	"So I think we should attack the Knighties tonight," Anne said after a light 
supper.

	"The Knighties?  I thought Shelley was a Cousin?"  Eric asked, sitting back to 
allow Shelley to bus his dishes.

	"She is, but the Knighties called us bouncy last night," Anne said slowly.

	"Ah," And after that Eric didn't argue.

	"Hey," Mary said suddenly, "Has anyone seen Robin, Wolfy or JL?"

	"Not since this morning," Eric shrugged, "They might have gone to Bob's 
Bargain Barn again though, we're running low on creamer."

	"So, attacking the Knighties?"  Mary reintroduced to the table as Shelley 
served them a delightful fruit-filled dessert. "Oh!  This is good!  Are these cranberry 
and cherry tarts?  Mmm!  Is there anything this whammied Cousin can't do?!"

	Eric nodded, "We should get all the Cousins whammied.  I mean, this tart!"

	"Back to the Knightie attack," Anne grumbled, then smiled at delight at her 
tart.

	"Knighties yeah, how about we use those things?"  Mary suggested.

	"Those things?"  Anne's eyebrow went up.

	"Yeah, those things Eric made, you know, in the garage," Mary explained.

	"The things I made for an attack against the Knighties," Eric furthered.

	"What's in the garage?"  Anne was just plain confused now.

	"Dark Perks are always prepared," Eric smiled happily.

	Anne just made a noise of pure frustration and left to prepare.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
End part 1
anteros@juno.com
	

	
War: DP:  The Queen of Tarts and All Her Little Men (2/2)
Place: DP Mansion and later the Loft
Time: Thursday the 11th, Midnight 'til dawn

By: Cousin Mary and Anne


	
	Anne still didn't know what had been in the garage, but now it was in the back 
of the Magnum in 6 huge cardboard boxes, packed there, of course, by Shelley.  
Eric was driving them to the Loft for the attack, 'them' being Eric, Mary, herself and 
Shelley, the Cousin having become their sidekick/butler since they found her.

	"So should we wait until after the sun comes up?"  Mary asked, "We don't 
want Nick to come home and find us setting it up."

	"Probably be better," Eric agreed, "That's in a few more hours, we can case 
the joint, figure out the best set up."

	Just then Mary's cell phone rang.  The blonde didn't even answer it, just 
handed it to Shelley.

	The Cousin looked confused, but since it was obvious that one of the DP 
she'd been following wanted her to answer it, she answered it, "Hello?"

	"Who is this?"  Came a voice over the line.

	"Shelley," The Cousin answered, still in a dazed fog from Marci's hypnotism.

	"There's a DP named Shelley?"  The voice, Shelley finally recognized as that 
of Tracy Vetter, asked, "Never mind, listen can you get over to the Ontario 
Outriggers and pick up a dozen or so canteens and enough pocket knives for the 
faction?  Thanks, bye!"

	Shelley stared down at the now silent cell phone in her hand.  She had to do 
what the voice told her, she had to follow…  "Stop the car!"

	Eric slammed on the breaks, thinking he was going to hit something, "What?  
Cat, baby carriage, baby carriage filled with cats?!"

	Without answering though, Shelley had thrown open the car door and was off 
like a shot down the street.

	"Hey!"  Mary yelled after her, "My cell phone!"

	But it was too late, Shelley was gone.  

	"Why'd you even give her your cell phone anyway?" Anne asked, amazed at 
how fast that Cousin could run.

	Mary shrugged, "I hate answering that thing."

	Eric started the car moving forward again, "Oh well, I guess we couldn't keep 
her forever."

	"Pity," Mary sighed, "Those tarts were indescribable!"

	"What exactly are we doing to the Knighties anyway?" Anne asked as they 
neared the warehouse district. "What's back there?"

	"Nicks," Eric said quickly.

	"Hundreds of them," Mary nodded.

	"Nick's in those boxes?"  Anne looked back over her shoulder, "Don't tell me 
he's in six pieces."

	"Not the real Nick," Eric laughed, "Bobble heads."

	"You made bobble heads of Nick?"  Anne smiled.

	"Well, I made one of every character," Eric explained, "But then there was just 
something about the Nick one."

	"He emailed my a picture one night and then we thought, Wow!  Won't this be 
great for a War?"  Mary did a little dance in her seat, "So we had a few hundred 
made and shipped here just in time."

	"Here we are!"  Eric announced as he pulled into an alley beside the 
warehouse that held the Loft, "Now we wait for Nick to be safely inside and then we 
set 'em up."

	"What do we do in the meantime?" Mary asked.

	Anne and Eric exchanged a look, then together sang out, "99 cups of coffee 
on the wall, 99 cups of coffee!"

	Mary groaned.

	"Take one down and slurp it down, 98 cups of coffee on the wall!"

?-----------?

	"And there were no more cups of coffee on the wall!"  They all finished 
together, "Hey!  There's the Caddy!  Shhhh!"

	Three sets of eyes watched together as the huge boat of a car slid into the 
garage, the door closed and they let out the breaths they'd been holding.

	"Whew!  Okay, dawn!  Let's get going!"  Mary shot out of her seat and ran 
around the back as Eric popped the hatch.

	Anne and Eric came out and soon the boxes were unloaded and open on the 
ground.

	"Would you look at them all!"  Anne's voice was filled with awe.

	"So many Nicks," Mary echoed, "So many."

	"One thousand, two hundred and twenty eight!"  Eric announced proudly.

	"Original," Mary snorted.

	"You said get a lot!"  Eric grinned back, "Let's set then up!"

	Mary groaned at the work ahead of them, "I wish Shelley was here!"

	Anne patted Mary's shoulder, "We all wish that."

	It was more work than they'd liked and by the end they were all exhausted 
and thoroughly hated all that bobbed, but the end result was startling.  The Loft's 
parking lot was a sea of Nicks.  Small, no more than 6 inches high, perfect if over-
sized heads over tiny suit clad bodies, bobbling in the light morning breeze.

	"Kinda eerie," Mary backed away towards the car, she looked up at the Loft's 
windows.  

"All of the Nick's are staring at the Loft," Anne pointed out, wiping her brow.

"Let's get out of here," Eric suggested then walked casually, okay, ran to the 
car.

"Wait!"  Anne went to get her purse and pulled out her calligraphy set and a 
nice piece of notepaper.  The she wrote in her best script, 'Roses are red, violets 
are blue.  The Natpack is bouncy.  And now you will be too.'  Then set the note in the 
hands of the lead Nick.

Then the DP were gone, an ocean of Nicks in their wake.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
So many Nicks, so many
anteros@juno.com

    Source: geocities.com/area51/hollow/1228/fic

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