Disclaimer: The characters and events herein are the property of
FOX, and are used without permission but with no intent of
infringement.
Spoilers: FTF
Category: MSR Flickfic
Rating: R for language
The Hot Shower
by Shalimar
6/22/98
copyright 1998
shalimar@mediaone.net
Oh, thank GOD.
A warm shower. At last.
A HOT shower.
Hot hot hot hot hot water, streaming, down, over my skin.
Pounding on my head. Stinging on my skin. Pounding on my aching
bones. Muscles. Neck. Head. Shoulders.
I love you.
Thank God you're in the next shower over. Your own hot shower.
Don't take all the hot water, Sweetheart. If you get done first,
can you be standing outside my shower holding one of those big,
fluffy heated towels for me? Just don't go more than five feet
away. No--three feet. That's my new rule.
Oh. This is much better. Here you are in my shower. Now we
have twice the hot water. I'm holding you in my arms and we can
just stand here propping each other up, letting the hot hot water
sluice over us. Burning our skin, washing away all the slime.
Oh, God. It feels SO good. The hot water. Our skin. Your
body. Against mine. Naked, of course. Stuff pressing hard
against stuff. But not sexual. Not yet. There's time for that
later. All the time in the world now.
Just warm skin.
Hot skin.
Our skin.
Barefoot and naked I'm only about up to *here* on you. That
would be your sternum. Right about where I'd do CPR on you if I
had to. That's one of those things I have tucked away in the
back of my mind, you know? Some people have an emergency fire
route out of their house. I have an emergency CPR plan on you.
So I wouldn't have to think. Just react. Just in case. Aren't
I clever? Organized? Foresighted?
I wonder if you had to think when you gave me mouth to mouth and
CPR, down there. Were we down *there*? I was watching from just
above you, and you seemed to do it very naturally. Very
efficiently--although a little distracted. Those--*things*.
Distracting.
How the hell did we get out of that hole? How the hell did you
get me out of that hole? Were we really down there? I can't
remember.
Any way, forget that. Here we are, back in our shower. Our HOT
shower. Hot skin. I'm leaning my numb cheek, my open mouth, my
tongue against your breastbone and we're letting the heat absorb
into us, into me, into you.
I guess it's the doctor in me, but it's second nature to reach
and press my fingers into the pulse in your neck and make sure
you're okay. Because, you're feeling a little limp propped
against me. A little too heavy. In fact shit all your
weight is slumping against me and I can't even keep my fingers on
your neck. Or feel my fingers for that matter.
Oh, don't be limp. Please. Okay, got my fingers back on your
neck. Please have a pulse. I don't know if I can't feel it
because my fingers are numb or because you don't have one.
I don't know if I can do my CPR plan right now. I'm frozen. I'm
kind of limp myself.
Don't think I can move.
But I'm doing it.
I'm on my knees. Tilt your head. Oh Christ your mouth is cold.
Colder than mine. Six short breaths. The breast bone, a fist's
length.
Another breath. Your breast bone. And one and two and three and-
-
Oh God, your lips are blue--
Four more breaths.
Your face is blue. Your eyelashes frozen together.
And your chest: and one and two and--
I-love you, I-love you, I-love *you*, I-love *you*--
And breathe, and breathe, Love, and breeeathheee.
Just think, hot shower hot shower hot water hot water. Did you
know I'm going to do this until help comes? Might take awhile,
so hang in there.
Come on. Hot water. Hot shower. I love you. I love you. Come
back. Come back. It can't end like this. It can't end like
this. It can't end. It can't. It can't.
And four. Turn head. Cold lips. Breathe.
Damn it.
Breathe.
Check chest. Not rising. Emergency. Dial 911.
Stroke his hair.
Please.
Hang in there.
Keep going. Hold on.
Don't leave me.
God?
Where are you?
Please.
Please?
Please?
Please-please-please-please-please.
--and four and breathe and breathe and--
I love you.
Deux ex machina? NOW ALREADY!
Something's blocking the glare. Somebody. Something. A
helicopter? What? Are helicopters silent these days? I can't
see. I can't hear. I'm snowblind. Snowdeaf.
A blinding white helicopter.
To the rescue.
Practically landed on top of us.
Faces peer out. Lift you first.
CPR!! He's in cardiac arrest!! No pulse!! No breathing!!
Keep doing CPR!!
Do you have any medical supplies onboard! A difibrolater? IV?
NOW!!
Get out of the way dammit!! I'll do it!!
Oh, shit Sweetheart, I think it's a dream 'cause one of them's
holding a champagne glass.
Hands with a blanket. NOT ME! HIM!
What the hell are they saying? ....they're frozen....what the
hell is that hole....must be a scientific camp....earthquake
maybe.....
Door's shut. We're in, Sweetheart. Is it warmer? Can't tell.
Whoever the hell they are, they're in a stupor. Don't think
it's THEM, unless their new look is lotsa gold and big hair.
It's me still doing this. Come on. Come on. Come back.
Come on. Come on. Okay. Okay.
Oh God, why aren't you coming back? You HAVE TO come back to me.
You have NO choice. Do you hear me? I'm giving you NO CHOICE.
Come on. Come on. Up. Up. The chopper's lifting up. That's
it isn't it, you're already up. You're up there. Okay. I'm
looking up. Are you there? Just over me? Still inside the
chopper? Look down. See my face? See my expression? I love
you. Come back down here damn it. Come back. You can't leave.
You're not ready. I'm not ready. I'll never be ready. You
can't leave me. You just told me you loved me one second ago
outside your apartment. You can't do this now. You can't leave
me alone. You can't. I love you.
Did I say I was going to do this until help comes? I meant, I'm
going to do this til I die too.
Just so you know.
So come back.
Woman in the purple snowsuit says: He's got a pulse.
Oh Christ. Oh, God. Oh, Thank you.
Ouch. Looked back down at you so fast it cracked my neck.
I can see it on your face. You knew I meant it.
You're back.
That got you, didn't it. The guilt. Got you right back. Thank
God you're one screwed up puppy. We gotta work on that.
Meanwhile, I'll breath for you. Breathing for you. I still
can't feel my fingers against your neck so I'll have to take
purple snowsuit's word. She's nodding, she's still nodding, her
fingers on your artery. At least she put down her glass.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I'm breathing for you.
Breathing for you. Breathing. Love you. Love you. Breathe. .
. .
And you breathe. Into my mouth. I wait. And you breathe
again.
One more time. Sweet. Into my mouth.
Your breath. My life.
You know.
Two more breaths.
My eyes shut.
I'm falling. Forward.
They're putting a blanket around me, too. They're forcing
something into my mouth. It's burning the hell out of my
throat. But it's burning like hellfire into my stomach. Christ,
it *is* champagne.
What better?
Except it's friggin' ice cold.
My head is on your heart. I can hear your heart. I can feel
your chest rise under my ear as you breathe.
I've got your hand in mine. Even if I pass out I'm not letting
go.
Just so you know. . . .
Didn't pass out. Just resting.
You've breathed one hundred times. I can open my eyes now.
And who the hell are these people, sitting around us smiling like
drunken gawkblockers?
He needs fluids! Give him something already! SOMETHING HOT!
They just needed someone to bark at them.
Chicken soup. Hot cranberry juice. Both. Perfect. Down the
hatch.
I never knew that watching you swallow from this angle would be
one of the most important muscular acts of yours I'd ever
witness.
I can see out the side of the helicopter. The plexiglass wraps a
little underneath. I can see down.
Where in FUCK are we?
You kissed me, and then--
FUCK.
Is that What the hell is that down there? The coast? *Where*
is there nothing but snow? And ocean?
I wish my eyes were working better. I hope you remember.
There's an insignia on the glass in front of me. It's backwards.
But I've always read backwards just has easy as forward.
Listen to this, Love:
Adrianna's Amazing Antarctic Adventures
Antarctica?
You'd better damn well remember.
Well. . . . whoever they are.
Thank you, God.
I think your hand is warmer. And your pulse. Much better. Hang
in there, Sweetheart. I've got you. Got my arms around you.
And I know wherever we're headed, there's a shower with our name
on it.
And all the hot water in the world.
fin
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