The XFFF
It's the most important question in the free world today: where do YOU stand?
People of different preferences and opinions have formed serveral splinter groups over the years, diverging from the common Phildom into more dangerous waters. Where do you stand? (Watch out for sharks.)
Are You A Shipper?
A Shipper - short for relationshipper - is an extremely intelligent individual who has picked up on six seasons and a movie chock- full of UST - Unresolved Sexual Tension - and rejoyce in in, understanding that, in the end, Mulder and Scully shall be together. Being a shipper doesn't mean you are any less of a fan, of course; it just means you're a bit of a hopeless romantic. A shipper is one of the people who, during the hallways scene in Fight the Future, were yelling at Mulder to "make it a wet one" and "Get some tounge, stud!"
A Finis shipper is a shipper in all regards. They thrive on UST, GTM, and all that good stuff. They would prefer to see eberyone's two favorite FBI agents 'Get it on" sometime close to the end of the show (which *gasp* is fast approaching!) so as not to change the wonderful working relationship they have.
Throghbred -- M.F.E.O
One of this breed still think that UST is man's greatest creation since red Speedos, but just love that love so much that they'll take it right here, right now, no questions asked.
Not to offend anybody, but SMUT shippers are sick little monkies... and they know it! [1] They are the writers of the NC-17 fanficion. Their minds reside in the gutter. They care not for UST. They find UST dull compared to their fanfic. Hell, they find Mulder's videos dull compared to their famfic! [2]
NAXIS stands for "Not A Kiss In Sight". These people are truly weird. They don't want to see Mulder or Scully involved with anyone else (a concept which will make a true shipper physically ill) but refused to admit they are MFEO. I find this rather cruel. These are people who pulled the wings off butterflies and tortured hamsters with pliars when they were children [5]
For those with a different idea of romance...
...There's always everyone's 'other' favorite characters: Walter Skinner and Alex Krycek, here to liven the mood with a little Scully/Skinner or Scully Krycek fling (lovers of this genre are known as SKippers).
NoRomos means No Romance. Ever. After watching The Movie's hallway scene, these guys were rooting for the bee, perhaps wishing it had shown up earlier: say, mid-fifth season. All in all, NoRomos are either bumbling blind fools that SOMEONE took out of the oven a little to early [6] or a part of the Conspiracy. Yes, they wish to force upon us the Detective Whites, the Phoebe Greens, the Diana Fowleys and other creatures from H-E-double-hockeysticks [7]. They laugh happily between puffs of their proverbial Morelys and thnk with a smile of a world without romance.
2) I'm just assuming here, OK?
3) Mr. Alavarez. Know him, love him, but stay out of his AP class.
4) I have no actual evidence that all Soulmates shippers are monks.
5) I have no actual evidence that NAXIS at any time killed small furry animals with pliars.
6) I have no actual evidence that a cosmic baker is responsible for the unfortunate existance of NoRomos. I do, however, have evidence of the existance of a cosmic baker. :) I also have no actual evidence that NoRomos resemble pastries, but I do mean to find out.
7) I don't mean to insinuate that the actresses who play(ed) Det. White, Pheobe Green, or Diana Fowley are from H-E-double-hockeysticks. However, that is my next mission after I prove that NoRomos are pastries.
***This was all written in fun and was not meant to offend anyone very much. These are all my opinions even though I coined none of these phrases and if you don't like it tough cookies. Live with it. Life ain't fair. Any flames written to me because of this will be chucked back at you. So there. Have a nice day.***
