Freaky Topics to Converse About With Strangers on Airplanes

  • *"Squirrels are the devils oven mitts!"
  • *"Good, I had to talk to someone, my teeth are spying on me"
  • "It burns when I urinate"
  • Stare off into space sporadically, then say, "sorry, interference from the mother ship"
  • "Do you mind if I remove my feet covering devices, my phillanges are no longer able to stand the odor."
  • "Cows outnumber people in 9 US states."
  • "The light is red. Red means stop."
  • "Mr. Burkman's head is shiny."
  • "I wet myself."
  • "Do you ever get the urge to tickle a moose?"
  • "My kitty-cat excretes flatulence when you pick him up."
  • "I was struck by lightening once, and now, whenever I sneeze a fairy dies." *achoo* "Oh, no!"
  • "Can't fall asleep, the pink bunny will get me. Can't fall asleep, the pink bunny will get me. Can't fall asleep, the pink bunny will get me."
  • "Wow! You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen!"
    Them: "How sweet, thanks."
    "Don't let anyone tell you that I'm a cronic liar, I'm better now."
  • Pretend that you're afraid to fly, and shake for the majority of the flight, telling them of everything that could go wrong, and past airplane crashes."
  • Act like you keep seeing something on the wing of the plane. "There's a man out there, look there's a man out there!"
  • "I used to be a man."
  • Whenever the seat belt light goes on begin spouting gibberish like "One Tin Soldier, Happy tin soldier. Little green men don't really exist. Little green men don't really exist. Cheese, heh, I like cheese, he he. Cheese." Continue 'til the sign goes off.
  • Talk like Yoda.
  • Start out with a British accent, then switch to southern, then New Jersey. See if they notice.
  • When you see them, be immediately friendly and request a hug, and chat about your wonderful mamma, and how you miss her wonderful road-kill kandy, and your 19 year old sisters sweet baby boy. Just be a real hick, for nice touch keep a dead animal in your carry-on, and when they ask what it is say "Lunch."





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    The ones with *'s are quoted from Ms. Piggy