I wasn't sure about dealing with the love triangle thing, but I was pretty sure it'd be one of Cat's fears. I think I did it without a lot of Jerry Springer/Geraldo/Ricky Lake-ism, but if you don't...well, I'm sorry.
If I Fall, part two
By: Sage 182
Cat stepped back from an enormous dragon carcass and
sighed wearily. She had lost count of the challenges she'd met and
conquered. Some had been physically demanding, requiring every
ounce of skill and strength she possessed. These were most definitely
dangerous, but only to her body. Much worse were the challenges to
her mind. These delved to her very soul, laying bare her greatest fears
and longings, playing to them all the way.
The stranger, X, had said her sanity was at risk, but she had
not realized the extent of the quest.
Dropping her sword from benumbed fingers, she closed her
eyes, thankful that this test was over. After her encounter with Dram,
she'd researched dragons, the legendary earth creatures. The study
had intensified the seed of terror already planted by the monster. That
was the way she still thought of it, regardless of what the others
believed.
She would have liked to sit down, but wasn't sure she could
manage it. Shortly into the trials, she'd realized that X had quite a flair
for the dramatic. For each test, she was put into an appropriate
costume, the scenery perfect in every detail. On this occasion, she
wore a full suit of armor, the vista one of spectacular rolling hills, an
ancient Earth castle on the horizon.
Cat pushed the hair from her eyes, grown longer in the time
she'd spent on Yensid. It now brushed her shoulders, still arranged in
it's slightly off-kilter circles of rainbow color. The deep blue-purple of
the lower half fanned across her neck, giving her a somewhat softer mien.
As she made the motion, a blinding light stole over her
momentarily, to reveal X standing a few feet from her, the ever-present
smirk still evident on his face.
"Very good," he drawled, his intonation stealing all the praise
from the words.
"Good for a mortal, you mean."
"Well, yes, I had assumed that was implied."
She ignored the barb, instead crossing to stand in front of him.
"You thing you're so great, don't you?"
"I am great, my dear child. I am far greater than your puny
corporeal mind could ever begin to comprehend." He snapped his
fingers, performed his disappearing act and reappeared a second later,
lounging across the dead dragon.
Well used to X's antics, she hardly noticed. "Why bother me, if
I'm so insignificant?" she asked indignantly. "Why not stay with all the
other superbeings, doing... well, doing whatever it is superbeings do?"
"Oh, those sticks-in-the-mud got old a
few hundred billion years ago," he said, waving off the ridiculous
notion. "Humanoids on the other hand, can be quite amusing when
you put your little minds to it. Oh certainly, at first glance you seem a
primitive lot, boorish and brainless, hardly worth the effort of one such
as myself. Yet underneath..." He paused.
"Underneath..." she prodded, curious despite herself.
"You seem almost intelligent when you're not too busy blowing
each other up or running around after your hormones." X seemed
almost sincere, an unreadable look on his face. He spoiled it a
moment later, grinning insolently and repeating, "Almost. At any rate, you're good for a chuckle or two."
He sat up suddenly, hopping off the dragon and moving toward
her. "But come. We've got much to do, and I don't want to be here
all millennium." He slipped past her, stepping through a doorway that
hadn't been there a moment before.
Cat rolled her eyes, none the less following suit. A now-familiar burst of white light washed over her, departing to reveal the
site of her next test.
She was only slightly shocked to see the familiar veined halls
of the Christa. Briefly considering that this might mean that the tests
were completed, she quickly discarded it. X was too pompous to let
them finish without a great deal of fanfare.
At least the armor was gone. It had departed in favor of her
Staracademy uniform, and she hoped fervently never to see it again. It
had been stiff and cold, harder to maneuver in than anything she had
ever worn.
Sensing a presence next to her, she swiveled her head to
behold X. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought I'd tag along on this one."
Knowing well that she'd get no answer until he was ready to
give it, she started walking.
He followed at her heels, so irritatingly close that she could feel
his breath on the back of her neck. Gritting her teeth, she endured the
insult and continued on.
She headed to the Command Post, reasoning that there was bound to at least be someone at helm. Finally reaching it, she paused in front of
the connecting door and waited for it to open. It was a long wait. After
several moments, she took a step back in puzzlement. She hadn't
been onboard for a while, true, but the ship should still acknowledge
her.
"What are we waiting for?" X demanded. "Let's get this show
on the road!" He gave her a small shove, catching her off-balance.
She stumbled forward, reaching for the wall for support.
Her hand passed through it, vanishing the moment it touched
the door. The rest of her followed immediately thereafter. Regaining
her balance, now in the ComPost, Cat straightened to reveal an odd
sight. The crew of the Christa sat solemnly at their posts. Rosie had
tears in her eyes, and so did Bova... and Radu and Ms. Davenport and
the Commander... even Harlan was making no effort to hold back his
tears. What was going on here!?!
"Welcome to your funeral," a voice whispered in her ear.
"What's going on?" she whispered back, more shaken than she
wanted to admit.
X said nothing, merely moving closer to the small circle of
mourners.
She followed, and, finally close enough to hear their words,
she heard, "...an honor to serve with."
Then, a far away string of techno-babble in a voice she knew
better than her own. Coming closer, the voice stopped and she heard
herself start to reply, breaking off when Harlan asked, "Who the heck
are you?"
It was then that she realized where she was. Or when, to be
more specific. These were the events that had taken place just after
her near-death experience on the Christa's sister ship.
"Why am I here?" she whispered, not sure why she bothered.
It was obvious that they couldn't see her; were she to let out a sonic
scream, Radu wouldn't have batted an eye. These events had already
taken place.
"Why, to observe, of course. Don't you find this fascinating?"
"No, I don't. I don't find it at all fascinating," she said dully,
unable to take her eyes off the events in front of her.
She saw her own delight as she realized that the others could
see Suzee, and in the next instant, her horror as she realized that she
was trapped in Yensid. She had been in much the same situation as
present Cat was now, able to see them, hear them, and yet unable to
touch them or to hold a conversation with them. Little did she know
that soon she would be unable to do even that.
She watched as the others celebrated upon hearing that she
was alive, only to learn a moment later that they might never see her
again. She took a moment's satisfaction at the look on their faces as
they realized who they were talking to, the infamous Suzee herself.
At last she turned away, unable to look anymore. The well-remembered events continued on around her, oblivious to her
presence. "What's the point in showing me all this?" she asked her
guide angrily. "I was here the first time around, I remember what
happened!" Indeed, it was a strange, confounding experience,
watching herself from the outside.
"Perhaps you're right," X said nonchalantly.
Before she could comment on this unusual turn of events,
things went from bad to worse. The room before her spun as its crew
leapt into a flurry of activity. It wasn't a natural sort of activity
either, her friends rushing, speeding faster than the eye could follow.
"What did you do!?!" she asked incredulously.
"The conversation was getting old. 'You're Suzee?' he
mimicked. 'So... you're Suzee?'" He rolled his eyes. "Hard to believe
your buddies were flunking out, isn't it?"
She ignored this, managing, for once, to stay focused on her
original question. "So you just sped up time, just like that?"
"Oh that?" He asked, his voice thick with conceit, as always.
"Child's play." He stopped to watch the quickly-passing scene for a
moment. "This is what I like about watching corporeal existence. You
can fast-forward through the boring parts." An ancient television
remote and a bowl of popcorn appeared in his hands. "Care for
some?"
She politely refused and turned her attention back to her
friends. The ComPost was beginning to shake, though she had no
sense of disorientation. She caught a brief glimpse of the beautiful
planet that had been the Christa's home when last she'd spoken with
her best friend. Then they were making their way swiftly(much too
swiftly!) into the atmosphere. She saw her other-self flicker and
disappear as the scarring between the dimensions became complete.
It went unnoticed, Suzee busy with the business of staying alive as
they crashed on the alien planet. Time seemed to speed even further
along as the crew realized they were safe and began preparing a
temporary camp outside the Christa. Cat barely had time to register
events as they flew by. Then suddenly, as she was still processing
what had occurred, time stopped.
To be more precise, time slowed to its usual pace, but to her
harried mind, the difference was astounding. She looked around to
find herself in a small clearing near the camp site. Harlan and Suzee
stood in front of her, immersed in quiet conversation.
"You know, I kinda think I owe you an apology," Harlan began.
"For what?" Suzee asked, a small smile playing in the corner
of her mouth.
"I used to tease Catalina all the time about you being
imaginary, and...well, you're definitely not imaginary. You are as real as it gets."
Cat's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Did he just
apologize to Suzee?!?" I'm the one he teased a hundred times a day!
Why is he telling her this?"
"Guess." X baited. "thought with your own ever-so-vital
emotions screaming at you, it's a wonder you can understand anything at all.
Humanoids!" he snorted. "You form base sentimental attachments
founded solely on attraction and intuition. You then call it love,
convinced that it's some sort of destiny, and spend every minute of
every day thinking about your beloved, turning your mind to mush. It's
a wonder you get anything done!"
Catching ahold of the point in his tirade, she asked, aghast,
"You don't mean to suggest that Suzee would ever--"
"--Steal your boyfriend? That's exactly what I'm suggesting."
He seemed suddenly cheerful, oblivious to the ranting he'd done a
moment before. "You know, this is better than daytime television!"
An over-stuffed recliner dropped out of the sky and he
immediately plopped himself into it, casually drooping one leg over the
arm, then munched on his popcorn.
Livid herself, she spat out, "Harlan is NOT my boyfriend!"
"Oh, please, you don't have to be omnipotent to see that you
have feelings for this clod! Though why, I'll never understand. He's
obviously brainless, boorish, and completely full of himself!"
Catalina stifled the urge to make an analogy to the pot calling
the kettle black, instead finding herself oddly defensive. "Don't judge a
compupad by its pixels!" As much as she'd teased Harlan, to hear
anyone else mocking him felt horribly wrong. She was the only one
who could do that.
"You should thank me! I'm doing you a favor."
"What do you mean, 'a favor'?" she asked, suddenly alarmed.
"These 'friends' of yours, they don't deserve you. They don't
even miss you."
"Yeah right!" she snorted, but couldn't keep a small fraction of
worry from her voice.
"Disbelieve what's right before your eyes if you
wish, but I might have expected better from you."
Breaking X's gaze, she looked back at Harlan and Suzee, only
to find that the scene had shifted as they talked.
Once again, Suzee and Harlan stood in the woods, but there
were a few noticeable differences. Her hair was arranged differently,
his was caught in a multitude of tiny braids, and they were in a different
section of the forest, nearer the ship.
Harlan spoke first. "Here we've been tryin' to get home for so
long, and now that it's finally going to happen... it doesn't seem so
important anymore."
"I know. I'm really gonna miss yo--everything." They both
smiled, exchanging a look that made Cat's blood boil.
Then their words sunk in. They were going home? When had
this happened? And why hadn't Stardog scientists found a way to bring her
back yet? While she was at it, why had no one mentioned her yet?
"I gotta get back to my dimension. Catalina's probably going
out of her mind wondering where I've been," Suzee continued.
Cat turned to glance pointedly at X, partially mollified. "See,
they do care!"
"Just watch," he replied cryptically.
She flirted, he flirted back, and Catalina was getting mad
enough to scream. Harlan gave the Yensidian a crystal, and she
smiled again.
"This can't be what it looks like," Cat rationalized. "And what
are they talking about? They're going home?!"
"Don't worry child, merely a false alarm. And this is exactly what
it looks like," the super-being replied, delight evident in his voice.
The scene shifted again, and they stood staring at another
private moment, much the same as the last. When that one concluded,
they witnessed another. And another, and another, and another. They came
in a seemingly endless string. All the while, Cat privately seethed.
"Suzee is my best friend," she said finally. Then, louder, "She
sat there and listened to me talk about my feelings for Harlan and then
just walked in and... It didn't even take them a day to forget me! All of
them! They managed it in an hour!"
"Well, it's not as if you were married or anything," he
whispered slyly. "You weren't even dating. Big boy over there never
truly cared about you, and neither did Miss Multiverse, obviously. And
hey, out of sight, out of mind, right?"
Cat needed to sit down. One hand on her forehead, she walked to
the nearest rock and sat, oblivious to the fact that she should have sunk
through it.
"Why?" she whispered.
"I've been trying to figure that out for eons," he responded
glibly. "I mean, why corporeals crave companionship so strongly--."
"No," she interrupted, "I mean, why am I even trying to get
back?" Something deep within her had suddenly snapped. Why was
she bothering? What was the point of it all? Harlan didn't care about
her and the others had forgotten her. Her best friend had betrayed her,
and they were still years away from home. A home where she would likely go
back to being a failing Staracademy student with no parents and siblings she only saw a few times a year. But what was there for her in
Yensid? Waves of despair overwhelmed her. She had nowhere to go, no home,
no future.
"Does that mean that you're giving up? I can return you to
Yensid, if that's what you want." X spoke with surprising kindness.
She nodded wordlessly, unable to speak over the tears welling
up in her throat.
He sighed. "Another one bites the dust. It's all right my dear, don't feel to badly." He drew his index
finger in a large oval, a crackle of light following the appendage and widening into
yet another portal. The last portal she'd ever have to face. In a way, it
was almost a relief. Yet something within her balked at the idea of
quitting.
Shut up, Cat, she told herself. Just shut up and go home. Know
when to quit.
"Take one last look," he called back to her.
She did so, stopping to look at her best friend and the boy she
cared so much about, then prepared to step through the gateway.
And then a thought struck her. "Why are you being so nice to
me all of a sudden?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"You know exactly what I mean. You should be teasing me.
You should be laughing at me. And you should definitely not be letting
me off the hook so easily!"
"Well," he snorted, "you have a funny way of saying 'Thank you'!"
"This is another trick, isn't it?" She circled him warily, unable
to believe his audacity.
"Everything you've seen here is true."
"Oh, I'm not disputing that," she returned, all the fire that had
been lacking minutes before now evident in her voice. "This was real,
all of it, but it's the only thing you've shown me! I can't--won't
believe that they've forgotten me. Let me see the other side; then I'll
make up my mind."
He stared intently at her for a few moments, then his face
broke into a crooked grin. "You're almost as stubborn as Picard!" X
sounded almost proud. "Here's what's happening as we speak." He
snapped his fingers, and both he and the present scenery disappeared.
"I miss her."
The boy's bunkroom was dark, all three youths in their beds,
Bova snoring merrily away. Radu was propped up on his elbows, his
chin on his hands. Harlan was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.
It was he who had just spoken.
Radu said nothing, needing no clarification.
"I mean, I never got to tell her how I felt and now... now I might
never get the chance. What if when she comes back, it's too late?
What if she meets some guy in Yensid and decides to stay there forever?"
He does have feelings for me! she realized, her breath catching
in her throat.
The scene blended into another. A bunkroom again, but this
time, the girl's. Again, it was during the sleep cycle, but this time, both
girls appeared to be sleeping.
But appearances were deceiving. Rosie's eyes popped open
rather suddenly, and she asked loudly, "Suzee? You awake?"
Her only answer was a muffled grunt. Rosie took this as an
affirmative.
"Suzee, is Catalina still your best friend?"
The unexpected question startled her into wakefulness. "Of
course!" she said sleepily. "Why wouldn't she be?"
"Well, she's been gone for over a year..."
"Just because we're apart doesn't mean we're not friends anymore."
"I know, but with Harlan and everything..." Rosie seemed uncomfortable asking, but earnestly wanted to know.
"What about him?" Suzee herself looked rather uneasy with
the line of questioning.
"You know, Cat kinda liked him, and so do you. So I thought--."
"Cat is still my best friend. I just...I didn't mean..." She trailed off, then
sighed and said, "Go to sleep, Rosie. We've got to get up early tomorrow."
That scene vanished again, to be replaced by a world of white
mist. Unsurprisingly, X was putting in an appearance as well.
"So?" he questioned. "What's it going to be?"
"Not exactly the heartwarming endearments I was hoping for,"
Cat mused. "Harlan still likes me, but he has feelings for Suzee too;
Suzee still considers herself my best friend, but she won't stop flirting
with Harlan. The others still miss me, but they like having Suzee
there." She thought for a moment. "Life sure is screwed up, isn't it?"
"A very astute observation," he remarked dryly. "Your decision?"
She smiled determinedly. "I'm going back. Throw whatever you
like at me--monsters, Spung, my childhood nightmares; I am going home."
11/28/98