DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/ Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author.

Copyright 2000 by Noda
noda@win.bright.net

~Story notes~ This is a future story, inspired by the Vertical Horizon song, "The Best I Ever Had." As in past stories, since the song provided the catalyst, I stole it's title.

*The Best I Ever Had*

Samantha Carter-Greenfield reached over, brushing the damp, brown hair from her son's brow. He was so still and pale, lying in the hospital bed. So unlike his usual energetic self. Jon could never sit still. If his mind wasn't going a mile a minute, it was his hands. Anything he came in contact with seemed to be instantly dismantled, even before the boy seemed aware of it. To see him so listless, lying on the stark, white sheets, made Sam shiver. Neither of her children had anything more severe than colds; she didn't quite know how to react to seeing her son in such obvious distress.

Sam looked up as her husband Jeff re-entered the room, carrying their sleeping five year-old daughter, Kelsey.

"I'll take her," Sam offered quietly.

"I think I'll just take her back over to Mom's," Jeff whispered. "She needs to rest. You know, you really should too."

"I know, but until the doctors can tell me what's wrong, I'm not leaving him," Sam stated adamantly.

"I figured that's what you'd say," Jeff smiled warmly at her. "I'll come back once Kelsey's settled."

"That's not necessary, Jeff. You need to get some sleep, too."

"Damn it, Sam! Why is it you always get to be the strong one? The one who takes on all the responsibility? He's my son too, you know!"

Sam looked up at her husband. He was right. She never stopped to think he would feel the need to be strong for her. But it was how she'd always been. From the time her mother died, she was the one who had to hold everyone and everything together. Even when she worked at the SGC, She had to be the one to pull the miracle out of a hat, rewrite the laws of physics. The one they all turned to, to "save the day." It was a hard habit to break.

"I'm sorry, Jeff. You're right," Sam said, placing her fingers on either side of her nose, rubbing up and down. "I guess I could use a break."

Jeff's smile widened. "I'll just take care of Kelsey. I'll be back in about an hour." Sam nodded, standing to give her sleeping daughter a kiss.

"Drive careful," she smiled, watching them leave the room. Retaking her seat, Sam turned her attention once more to her sleeping son. What was she going to do if there were really something seriously wrong with him? Something that couldn't be taken care of with a "quick fix?" She just wished the doctors could give her more answers, but until the latest battery of tests returned, there was nothing anyone could do.

It was times like this Sam really missed Janet. Not only for her medical expertise, but for her friendship as well. Oh, she had friends where she worked, but they were more acquaintances than true friends. Not like the friends she'd had at Stargate Command. Maybe it was being locked underground with them so much of the time that spawned the camaraderie and intense friendships she felt with her former team, but she doubted that was the entire reason. Being in the military had a tendency to draw people together as well. It was easy to form lasting bonds with like-minded people.

But the people at GenTech were like-minded people. Sam just never seemed to get as close to them as she had SG-1. Maybe she was holding herself back, trying to protect herself from some of the pain she experienced when she parted company with her old comrades. It was her choice to come to Minneapolis, to do research among the private sector. In fact, General Hammond had done everything short of blocking the door to keep her at the SGC.

It wasn't that she wasn't touched by their concern and genuine wishes she remain on the team. It was more that her life had suddenly taken an unexpected turn, and she had to reconsider her options. Taking up one of the fifty or so offers she had on the table seemed to be the best course of action.

Without much thought, she pretty much picked a location and a job at random. Pay scales and benefits being nearly equal, Sam decided on the first job her finger landed on when she pointed to the list. She did a bit of research into the Minneapolis/St. Paul area; liked what she saw; was resigned, moved and settled all in about a span of two weeks. No one ever said Sam Carter couldn't get things done when she set her mind to it.

She met Jeff soon after moving to the suburb of Edina, while looking for houseplants, of all things. She was at a garden center, looking at some hanging planters when she heard a male voice behind her.

"Unless you've got a room with a lot of light, I wouldn't get that one."

Sam turned around, expecting to see an employee of the nursery. Instead there was a tall, blonde man in jeans and a polo shirt with his hands on his hips.

"Excuse me?" she said, surprised a total stranger was dictating what plants she should buy.

"I'm sorry, I really don't mean to be telling you what you need, but I've tried to grow them and they're really touchy. They need a lot of sun and a lot of care."

"Well, you're right, I guess that isn't for me," Sam agreed. "I work a lot. I need something that doesn't need much attention. Maybe I should be looking at a cactus or something," she joked.

"How about this one," the man suggested, pointing out a spider plant. "They're pretty easy to grow."

"Do you work here?" she asked, curious how a guy knew so much about plants.

"Uh, no. I've got a landscaping company," he said, pointing out the window to a small red truck with the words "Greenfield's Landscaping Service" painted on the side. "I'm Jeff Greenfield, by the way," he said extending his hand in her direction.

Sam accepted the handshake. "Samantha Carter, but most people call me 'Sam.'"

"Nice to meet you, Sam."

She felt awkward, wondering if she should just thank him for his advice or say something else.

"A landscaper called 'Greenfield?' Isn't that a little cliché?" she asked, reminding her of another man who wasn't terribly fond of clichés.

"Yeah," he smiled shyly. "It's almost kind of embarrassing. I've thought about changing the name, but the pun seems to stick in people's minds, so I guess they remember my company, which is a good thing."

There were a few more moments of tense silence before Jeff finally said, "Well, again, it was nice to meet you, Sam."

"Same here. Thanks for the tip." She started reaching for the hanging plant, but she couldn't quite reach the hook. Sam turned to see if she could still catch the man she'd been talking to.

"Uh, Jeff?" she called out.

"Yeah?" he said, turning around so quickly he almost knocked into some of the shelving.

Sam had to smile at his eagerness. "I can't quite reach the hook. Could you. . . .?"

"Sure, I'd be glad too." As he handed her the plant, he added rather quickly, "are you busy? I mean I know I just met you and all, but I was wondering if I could buy you a cup of coffee or something."

Sam couldn't hide her grin at the nervous invitation. She had to admit she found him attractive, and she hadn't met many people since she'd moved.

"Sure, that would be great," Sam answered.

Coffee led to dinner, dinner led to a second date, and then a third. It wasn't long before they were seeing each other every night. Six months later they were engaged, and a week later they were married in a quiet ceremony witnessed by his family and her father, Daniel, Janet and Teal'c. She hadn't even bothered to invite Jack, as he was still furious with her over her resignation, and General Hammond was too busy with some minor emergency at the SGC which no one could talk about since she no longer had security clearance.

That had hurt. That she no longer was privy to the happenings at the SGC. If she'd stayed on as a civilian consultant, she'd still be in the loop, but it had been her own choice to cut herself off completely from the Program and the Air Force.

She still called Daniel and Janet occasionally, even attended their wedding, but in a little over ten years, she hadn't seen or heard from Jack, and that hurt the most of all.

Sam was distracted from her musing as a nurse entered the room to check Jon's vital signs. The woman smiled at Sam, obviously trying to give a worried mother some comfort.

"Mrs. Greenfield, I really doubt your son's going to wake any time soon. The sedative the doctor gave him will most likely keep him sleeping the rest of the night. You really should get some rest yourself."

"I know," Sam smiled weakly. "I just can't leave him."

The nurse laid a comforting hand on her arm as she passed. "I understand. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want to leave either."

Sam stood once more, stretching her back. How could it be her baby was ten years old when it seemed like he'd born just yesterday? He'd been a noisy one, she remembered. Loudly protesting his removal from the comforting warmth into the cold, harshly lit world. Physically, there wasn't a bit of her in him, except maybe her nose, but his mind was a different story. He talked at an early age for a boy, and once he did, he never stopped asking questions. Sam had to wonder if she drove her own mother as crazy as Jon did her sometimes. But secretly she was pleased he was so quick and curious. At least she'd contributed something to her son!

Kelsey, on the other hand was all hers. From the unruly blonde hair to her blue eyes, she was almost a carbon copy of herself at that age. She was bright, but her intelligence was aimed in a more artistic direction than scientific as Jon's was. Even at her young age, she delighted in helping her father with his designs, and was surprisingly good. If either of her children were destined to go into "the family trade," Kelsey would be the one to take over the landscaping business.

Jon, on the other hand showed a strong interest in joining the military, which Jeff didn't approve of in the least. Sam tried to convince Jeff not to be too hard on the boy, as he was young and no doubt enamored by the adventurous aspects of a military life.

Jeff blamed Sam for Jon's interest in wanting to join the Air Force. They'd fought over it quite a lot, actually. It was almost as if he didn't want to acknowledge his wife had been a soldier. He had no problem with her making twice the money he did, but he couldn't reconcile the fact his wife had been involved in combat. If he only knew! He never mentioned it to his friends, and wouldn't have to his family if Jon hadn't said something at a gathering about his mother logging in air time over enemy air space during Desert Storm. At first the relatives laughed it off as a child's over-active imagination, until Sam told everyone of her public military career. There had been such an awful silence from her in-laws, that she and Jeff left the party soon after, only to have a bitter argument once they returned home.

That was when the distance between them became noticeable. Sam tried to ignore it, rationalizing every couple had something one spouse didn't like about the other. But this was no minor "pet peeve." She was honored to have served her country. Proud of the work she'd done, even if she couldn't speak of most of it.

Every time Jeff belittled her role in the Air Force, she felt it was a personal attack against her comrades. Especially those she left at the SGC. Kelsey had been a newborn when the incident happened with his family, so essentially she and Jeff had been "sharing living quarters" for the better part of four years. They didn't really fight, but there was certainly no love between them, if indeed there had ever been. Sam used to at least genuinely like Jeff, figuring she'd eventually learn to love him. His continued snide comments about the service ended that. In fact, she'd even gone so far as talking to a lawyer to see about divorce proceedings before Jon had become ill.

Sam's thoughts were interrupted by the very man she'd been thinking about, having returned from depositing their daughter at his mother's.

"Hey," Jeff said, placing a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder, squeezing gently. "How's he doing?"

"Still sleeping," she whispered, motioning him out to the hallway. Once the door was shut she turned to her husband. "Kelsey get settled in okay?"

"Yeah, you know how she loves it at Mom's."

Sam smiled. Even if Ellen Greenfield never approved of her, she adored Kelsey. Sam found it ironic when Kelsey looked so much like her. Perhaps it was because she was the baby of the family, Jeff's brother and sister both having older children.

"I'm glad she's out of here. A hospital is no place for a child," she said, looking back at the door to the room where her son lay.

"Sam, they'll find out what's wrong with him. He'll be all right," Jeff said, pulling her into a hug.

At first she barely wound her arms around him, but he squeezed tighter, forcing her to relax.

"Don't be so stubborn," he whispered in her ear. "Let me help you with this." At his words, Sam softened, allowing her ridged posture to loosen.

"I'm scared," she said.

"Me too."

Sam pulled back, wiping at the stray tears that had fallen. There were times he could be so sweet, so understanding. And then there were the times he could be so cold. She didn't know what she felt for him anymore.

***

Jeff and Sam spent the rest of the night, dozing on and off in Jon's room, wanting to be nearby should he wake. Both were slouched in their chairs, heads touching as a nurse gently shook them awake.

"Mr. and Mrs. Greenfield? Dr. Bellanca has your son's test results back. He'd like to talk to you."

Instantly alert, Sam ran a hand through her disheveled hair, blinking rapidly to dispense the sleep from her eyes. She looked over at Jeff, who was stretching from his night in the uncomfortable chair. At least she had faired better on that score, being smaller than him.

It was a short walk to the doctor's office, and Sam was grateful for the movement. Sitting around, waiting for answers had been one of the hardest things she'd ever done. She had infinite patience when it came to technology, but when the situation was personal? She was worse than a child. Kelsey had more patience than she did.

After another interminable wait in the doctor's office, Dr. Bellanca breezed in, looking well-rested, carrying a cup of coffee and a folder of test results. Sam almost felt resentful toward the man who looked so fresh after she and her husband had spent a miserable night.

"Mr. and Mrs. Greenfield," he said, smiling warmly. "Would you like some coffee?" Sam almost smiled herself. They must look pretty bad if the doctor was offering to jolt them into reality.

"Yes, thank you," Sam said, accepting for them both. Secretly she wished for something stronger if the news was going to be bad. Judging from the serious look on the doctor's face, she was going to need a whole bottle of something.

Handing them each a Styrofoam cup, Dr. Bellanca began. "Mr. and Mrs. Greenfield, the results are back, and my suspicions were correct."

Sam waited on the edge of her seat, hand gripping Jeff's so hard she was surprised he didn't cry out. "And what did you suspect?"

The doctor paused, looking at each of them, sighed and said, "aplastic anemia."

Sam and Jeff turned to look at each other, shock registering on their faces.

"Is it serious?" Jeff asked.

"Of course it's serious!" Sam snapped, disengaging her hand from Jeff's, raising it to cover her eyes.

"But it is treatable," Dr. Bellanca added.

"I've heard the term, but I don't know what the disease entails. Could you tell me what it is and what we can expect?" Jeff asked.

"It's a condition, first of all, not a disease in the traditional sense that your son contracted anything. This is a deficiency within his own body."

Sam's mind was racing. *It's my fault! It's all my fault! He's my son and I gave this to him!*

"Simply put, Jon's bone marrow is not producing enough red blood cells," the doctor added.

"So, what can we do?" Jeff asked, looking over at Sam once more.

"The most common treatment, especially in children, would be a bone marrow transplant."

"A transplant? You mean to take part of someone's bone and put it into him or something?" Jeff asked.

"No, not quite so complicated as that," the doctor smiled. "The procedure is called a bone marrow aspiration. It involves taking a syringe and removing a small portion of bone marrow, from a donor. Either from the sternum," he said, touching the middle of his chest, or from the top of the iliac crest, which is the top of the pelvis."

"You said donor," Sam said. "Could it be one of us?"

"Yes, but a sibling is usually a better match. It's not as painful a procedure as it once was. The donor is under general anesthesia, so it's likely they'll only feel discomfort once awake."

Sam shook her head. The thought of both her children in the hospital was almost too much. "How do we find out who's compatible?"

"There's a blood test to determine who would be the best candidate. I'm assuming you'd like this done as soon as possible?"

"Yes, of course!" Sam said.

"I can have you and your husband tested as soon we're through here. Does Jon have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yes, Kelsey, but she's only five!"

"Mrs. Greenfield, it really wouldn't hurt her. If Jon doesn't have this transplant, well, it is fatal."

"I understand, that. It's just the thought of both my children. . . ."

"What about non-family members?" Jeff asked, now refusing to look at Sam.

"Well, there is a chance they'd be compatible, but some family connection is always the best," the doctor informed him. "May I ask why you think you'll need to consider that option?"

Jeff waited a moment, swallowed, then said. "I'm not Jon's biological father."

"I see," the doctor said, clearly unsure of what to say next. "I believe you should still have the test done. There is always the chance you could be a match."

"Of course. If it could help Jon, I'll do it."

Sam watched Jeff. She never doubted he loved Jon as his own. He was the one who was with her when she gave birth, the one who got up in the middle of the night to feed him, change him, soothe his cries. In every way that mattered, Jeff was his father. She had to let him know even though she saw the evidence of Jon's true parentage in her son's features, she never once considered Jeff less his father because of it.

"He's your son," she stated simply, reaching over and squeezing his hand.

"Yes, well," the doctor said, giving a slight cough, "I think we should see about those tests. I'd like you to have your daughter tested as soon as possible as well. The sooner we find a donor, the sooner we can help your son."

*********

For the second time that day, Sam found herself waiting in Dr. Bellanca's office. He rushed the tests, and again she and Jeff were waiting for results. As soon as their blood had been drawn, Jeff left to get Kelsey. She had to admit her daughter handled the blood test better than she would have at her age. Kelsey seemed to be more curious about what they were going to do with the blood than being concerned about the needle used to remove it.

Sam's attention was brought back to her daughter as she jumped off her lap to wander around the room. She'd admonished her several times about picking things up, but now was to the point of not caring if something got broke. If the doctor was going to leave them all sitting in here, in limbo, he deserved to lose a few things off his shelves.

"I want to see Jon," she said, playing with a pen and fake inkwell on the doctor's desk.

"I know you do, Sweetie, but Mommy and Daddy have to talk to the doctor first. When he says it's okay, we'll go see him," she said.

She and Jeff had just come from spending most of the day with Jon, taking turns watching Kelsey and spending time with their son. For his part, Jon was taking the news well. Sam insisted they tell him the truth, explaining what was wrong with him as the doctor had them. It was yet another reason for an argument between her and Jeff. Nerves frayed, they snapped at each other until they noticed they were drawing attention from the hospital staff. Jon was a smart kid. He didn't need to be talked down to. It was what her family had done to her, and Sam was damned if it would happen with her son.

"Ah, the Greenfields," Dr. Bellanca said, upon entering his office. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Now, about those test results. . . ." he said, taking a seat at his desk, reading the report before him.

"Hmmm." he said, causing Sam and Jeff to look at one another.

"I'm afraid I don't have the best news," he said, looking up, removing his glasses.

"What does that mean?" Sam asked.

"Well, according to your tests, none of you would be a compatible match."

"None of us? Not even Kelsey?" Sam said.

"I'm sorry. I thought for sure either you or your daughter would be a match," he said, shaking his head. "There also seems to be some kind of unidentified protein marker in your blood, Mrs. Greenfield. Not that it's what's causing the incompatibility. I just find it odd."

*The naquada,* Sam thought. *Or maybe a different legacy of Jolinar's. Could that be why Jon got sick?*

"To your knowledge, has this ever shown up before?"

"Not that I know of," Sam said, trying to deflect the doctor from asking too many questions about how Jolinar had messed up her body chemistry. "I could contact the doctor from the base I used to work at."

"Base?"

"I was in the Air Force," Sam said, casting a look at Jeff, noticing he immediately tensed.

"I see. Were you ever in combat?"

*How long do you have?* Sam thought to herself. Instead she said, "yes. I was involved in Desert Storm."

"Then perhaps it's the result of some agent you were exposed to during your tour of duty. If you like, I could schedule some tests. . ."

"Is it causing any problems?"

"None that I can see. It *seems* to be benign."

"Then let's just leave it for now. We're here for Jon, anyway."

Sam hoped she didn't seem too eager to brush off something potentially dangerous. *She* knew why there was something abnormal in her blood, but it wouldn't do to have Dr. Bellanca poking around and dredging up her old medical records. Not that he'd have access to Janet's files. Surely they were considered classified. But it might get him digging even further until he found evidence of the SGC.

"So, now what?" Jeff asked.

"Would you mind if my nurse watched your daughter for a moment? I don't know how much she'll understand, but I'd rather not ask this with her in the room."

"That's fine," Sam said, allowing the doctor to escort Kelsey from the room.

Sam and Jeff looked at each other. "What do you suppose that's all about?" he asked.

"I think I have an idea," Sam said, hoping her suspicions were incorrect.

Dr. Bellanca came back into the room, and leaned on the edge of his desk, facing Sam and Jeff. "Are you able, or would you be willing to contact Jon's biological father?"

Sam exchanged glances with Jeff, totally flabbergasted. "Yes, I think I know how I can contact him. But he has no idea I was even pregnant the last time I saw him."

"Well, he's our best option at this point. Mr. Greenfield, I don't mean to be disrespectful of your role as Jon's father, but it's now rather obvious to me, physically he takes after his biological father. I think the chances for a match are pretty good."

Sam was stunned. She had to call him? Tell him nearly eleven years ago he'd fathered a child he never knew about? And wouldn't have ever known about had Jon not developed the anemia? How the *hell* was she going to do that?

Sam took a shaky breath. "I'll contact him."

"Sam, you don't have to do this! We'll find some other way! Maybe your Dad, or brother, his kids. . . ."

"Jeff, I know you're trying to protect me, but we both know he's going to be the most compatible."

"Mrs. Greenfield, you obviously had your reasons for not revealing your pregnancy to the father, and I'm sorry to put you in this position, but I really don't see any other way. Your son's life depends on it."

"I know," she sighed. "What do you need me to do?"

"Well, if he's not in the area, he could have the blood test done where he's at, have the results sent to me, and if he's compatible, we'll go from there."

"He's not in the area. But this isn't something I can just tell him and ask him to do over the phone. Maybe I can get him to come here. That way if he is compatible, he'll be here for the aspiration."

"Sam, no!" Jeff cried. "It's bad enough that you have to call him! You don't have to bring him here!"

"Jeff, if he's a match, he'll have to come anyway! At least this way we won't have to wait to do the transplant."

Dr. Bellanca looked uncomfortable witnessing their argument, and for that reason Sam decided the rest of their "discussion" on the topic would have to wait until they were alone.

Moving back behind his desk, Dr. Bellanca started to jot down some notes. "Mrs. Greenfield, if I may, could you tell me the name of the father?"

Taking a deep breath, Sam raised her eyes to look at the doctor. "Jonathan O'Neill."

*********

Sam gave a sigh of relief walking in the door of her house. Jeff and his mother were at the hospital with Jon and Kelsey, and the few moments of peace she'd had on the drive home had done her a world of good. She knew Jeff was angry she had to call Jack, but what choice did they have? Actually, it was more that she'd never told him anything about Jon's real father that got him going.

After their meeting with Dr. Bellanca, Jeff had pulled her into an empty waiting room, demanding answers.

"You named my son after him? Jesus, Sam! How could you? The guy uses you for a night and you give him his *name?*"

"It wasn't like that, Jeff. I'll admit the circumstances weren't ideal, but it's not like we were strangers or anything."

"So that makes it right? Obviously you felt you couldn't tell him about the baby. He couldn't have been that great of a guy!"

Sam rubbed a hand over her eyebrows, trying to dispel the headache that was starting. "Jeff, do we really have to talk about this now? *Here?*"

"I think you owe me some answers, Sam."

He was right. He'd never asked before, but maybe that had just been a form of denial. Soon after they started seeing each other it was evident she was pregnant. They talked about it in the respect it was her reason for moving, but beyond that, Jeff had treated her pregnancy almost as if it was an immaculate conception.

She'd never understood why he was so eager to take on a pregnant wife, raise another man's child, but he seriously didn't seem to have any qualms about it. Maybe he *did* really love her that much. Just because she didn't feel the same for him, didn't mean he couldn't be in love with her.

"You're right. I suppose I should have told you when we met, but you didn't seem to want to know and I just wanted to forget." Sam inhaled, then let her breath out slowly. "He was my commanding officer at the base in Colorado I worked at."

"More of that Air Force stuff," Jeff growled.

Sam felt her anger rising. "Yes, more of that 'Air Force stuff.' I'm sorry Jeff, whether you like it or not, I *was* in the military. And I *did* have a life before I met you!"

"Apparently quite an active one," he shot at her.

"That wasn't fair! You have no idea of the circumstances of Jon's conception!"

"So, enlighten me, *Major.*" He sneered her rank, making her want to slap the condescending look off his face.

"Let's just leave it at it was against regulations for us to become involved. We both realized our being together wasn't an option, and when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I couldn't do my job at the base and take care of a child, so I resigned."

"But you thought you could do research here and raise a child on your own. I don't see how the location makes any difference."

"If I would have stayed, Jack would have realized I was pregnant, and known he was the father. He would have tried to 'do the right thing' and marry me. I didn't want that. I didn't want him to give up his career for a mistake in judgment." God, she felt awful thinking of the night they spent together as being a "mistake in judgment." It meant a lot to her. It still meant a lot to her. But Jack didn't love her. Or if he did he sure kept it hidden well. Sure, he'd admitted "caring for her more than he was supposed to," but that wasn't the same as confessing love. If the only way she could have him was to "trap" him with a baby, she didn't want him.

Jeff had his back to her. "Did you love him?"

"I. . .I don't know. I guess I thought I did."

"What about now?" he asked.

"What do you mean, what about now?"

"Do you still love him?"

"No! Jeff, I'm married to you!"

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Jeff, it's been over ten years since I spoke to the man. I can't say I don't think of him. It's a little hard not to when I see his face every time I look at Jon, but I don't love him." Sam wondered if Jeff caught the fact she didn't mention she loved him either.

"Look, I know this is a shock. This whole past two weeks have been a nightmare for all of us. You're not the one who has to call up a guy, who no doubt is still holding a grudge, to tell him you've had his baby!"

Jeff sighed. "You're right, Sam. This isn't easy. But how do you think I'm going to feel having to meet him? How's he going to feel about meeting the man who's raised his son? You know either way he'll be coming out here."

Sam nodded. "I know. No matter how upset he is with me, he's going to want to meet Jon."

"So, now what?"

"I guess I go make a phone call."

***

Sam tossed her keys on the dinning room table as she shrugged out of her jacket. At least Jeff had calmed down and they didn't have a full-blown fight in the hospital. God, all she wanted was to take a shower, catch an hour of sleep and go back to the hospital. She stared at the phone. It wasn't going to dial itself. The first person, or people she had to contact were Daniel and Janet. They'd have Jack's number. Although she'd asked them not to reveal her whereabouts or phone number to Jack, it turns out the request wasn't necessary--he'd never asked them about her.

Picking up the phone, Sam realized it had been so long since she'd contacted the Jackson's, she needed to look up the number.

Tones, clicks and buzzes rang in her ear as she waited for an answer on the other end.

"Hello?"

Sam hesitated a moment before the voice registered with her. "Cassie?"

"Uh, yeah. Who is this?"

"It's Sam." There was a bit of silence as Sam guessed the woman on the other end was sorting through names and faces.

"Sam? Ohmigod! Sam! How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks," she laughed. "What are you doing home?"

"We had a break from school. Also, it's Ian's birthday, and I knew Mom could use some help with this brood of hers besides the kids coming to the party."

"Sounds like quite the gathering."

"Well, I'd say there's about fifteen people here so far, and more on the way!"

Sam shook her head. Daniel and Janet certainly made up for lost time once they were married!

"I'm sorry to call when there's so much going on, but could I talk to your Mom or Daniel? I need to get in touch with Jack."

Again there was a silence on the other end of the phone, then, "Really? I didn't think you guys were on speaking terms."

"Well, something's come up and I need to find him. I thought maybe Daniel . . . .?"

"Sure. Oh! Here he comes now! Dad? It's Sam. Yeah, Carter, uh Greenfield." Sam heard Daniel mumble something in the background as he took the receiver from Cassie.

"Sam? Is something wrong?"

"Uh, well, yes and no. Jon's in the hospital."

"Oh, God! Is he okay? What happened?"

"Well, he's been getting more and more dragged out, apparently from nothing. We took him to the doctor, and they immediately put him in the hospital. Turns out he has aplastic anemia."

"Oh, God, Sam! I'm so sorry! How are you holding up?" The concern in Daniel's voice was making it difficult for Sam not to cry.

"Okay. Okay, I guess."

"Is there anything we can do? Janet and I could come out there or. . ."

"No, really, that's not necessary. One thing you could do for me though," she closed her eyes and said the words. "You could tell me how to find Jack."

"Jack? After all this time why do you need to get in touch with Jack?"

"Jon needs a bone marrow transplant and Kelsey and I aren't compatible. I'm hoping. . .well, with Jack being. . . ." Sam's voice trailed off, she couldn't even bring herself to admit to her closest friends Jack was the father of her son. Even though they'd met Jon, and it was obvious who his father was, Daniel and Janet never broached the subject with her.

"I understand," Daniel said, sparing her any more embarrassment. "I'm really sorry, Sam. He's still in Colorado Springs. I've got the number here somewhere."

Sam heard him riffling through what sounded like a stack of papers. Knowing Daniel, his desk was a complete mess, but he knew exactly where every scrap of paper was.

"Here it is," he finally said. "Got a pen? It's 719-266-4849. He's retired, you know, so I would think you'd have a pretty good chance of getting a hold of him. He doesn't travel much. He told me once you've seen places like Argos, it's a little hard to get excited by Florida."

Sam found herself smiling despite herself. That sounded like Jack. "I didn't know he'd retired," was all she said.

"Yeah, went out a General. He'd probably still be there, but he couldn't stand to sit behind a desk and watch the others go without him. Must have been how Hammond felt."

Sam had lost touch with the general as well, but if she'd thought about it, she knew he wouldn't still be working at the SGC, provided it was still in operation. She couldn't ask Daniel, especially over the phone. Any thing they *could* discuss was always in vague terms.

"I wish I could tell you more," Daniel said, as if reading her mind.

"Yeah, I know. I know. So! It's Ian's birthday, huh?" Sam said brightly, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah," Daniel said. "The little guy turns two today. I just get the others 'housebroken' and then this one comes along." Sam could hear the smile in his voice. He was proud of his children with good reason. Although she hadn't seen Ian in person since his birth, Daniel and Janet e-mailed pictures to her all the time. Or rather Sean, their oldest did. Even at his young age he was the computer whiz in the family.

"Well, Daniel, I would love to talk some more, but you have a house full of relatives and kids to take care of. Thanks for the number."

"Sure. You'll let us know what happens? With Jon, I mean?"

"Of course. I would have called sooner, but it's been a pretty intense week here."

"I know. Say 'hi' to everyone there," Daniel said.

"Same to you, too. I miss you guys."

"We miss you too, Sam. Take care."

Sam stared at the phone for a moment, not wanting to hang it up. Slowly, she lowered the handset to the cradle. Lord, she didn't want to call Jack! What did she say to him? She knew she had to do it now, before she lost her nerve.

Picking the phone back up, she dialed the number, almost hoping he wasn't there. Maybe if she left a message on his machine, he'd have to call her back. It might not be so hard to ask him if he were contacting her.

One ring, then two. A third. He wasn't home. Mentally she started preparing a statement for the answering machine when a male voice answered on the other end.

"Hello?"

His voice hadn't changed. And even a single word went straight through her, causing her knees to feel weak.

"Hello?" he repeated. Sam couldn't get her own voice to work.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud! Who's there?"

Sam heard him mutter something else and knew he was about to hang up, forcing her to call out, "Please, Jack! Don't hang up!"

"Who is this?"

She swallowed. "It's. . .it's Sam." She waited a moment then added. "Carter." She didn't bother with the Greenfield; it wouldn't mean anything to him.

"Sam? What the. . . .? How did you get my number?" His voice was almost accusatory.

"From. . .from Daniel." She hated that her voice was so shaky. "I'm sorry, sir. I really needed to contact you."

"Ya know, I'm retired now, and you haven't been under my command for some time. I don't think the 'sir' really applies any more."

"Sorry, I guess old habits are hard to break," she laughed nervously.

There was an uncomfortable silence before Jack said, "So what's up? Must be pretty damn important seeing as I haven't heard from you in over ten years."

Sam didn't miss the bitterness in his tone. She supposed she couldn't blame him, but she figured after all this time he wouldn't still be angry with her.

"Well, sir, Jack," she amended, "there's something I need to tell you. Something about why I left." At least some of the tremor had left her voice.

"What's the big deal? You must have had your reasons. It's water under the bridge, Carter."

"But there were *specific* reasons why I left, and I never told you."

"You said you thought it was time for a change and you were going to do private research. I don't see that it needs any elaboration. Especially after all this time." He was still angry at her, she could tell by his tone.

"Jack, please, I need to tell you. . . ."

"What, you dyin' or somethin'? Decided to 'come clean' with everyone?"

Sam blinked back tears before she said, "no, but someone is."

"Okay, Carter. Enough with the word games. What do you want?"

"Jack, I need you to come to Minneapolis."

"Minne. . . . You're kidding, right? I don't hear from you in over a *decade* and I'm supposed to just jump on some plane and come to Minneapolis?"

"Please, Jack. This isn't something I can tell you over the phone."

"Well, I'm sorry, Sam, but some cryptic message about what happened years ago isn't enough incentive for me to come out there."

Sam didn't know what she could say to convince him to come. Then she remembered. P2R-665. They'd never really discussed what happened there. Perhaps if she mentioned that mission. . . .

"Jack, this has to do with what happened on P2R-665." There was dead air on the other end of the receiver. "Jack?" she asked, afraid he might have just hung up.

"Ah, ya," he said, his voice hoarse and strangely quiet. "We never really did talk about that, did we?"

Sam could envision him standing with the phone to his ear, running a hand through his short hair. At least she assumed it was still short. "No, we didn't."

"Sam, it's been ten years! Is it really necessary to dredge all that up again? I mean, we were both kind of feeling our mortality, and all."

"Jack, like I said, this isn't a conversation we should be having over the phone for any number of reasons. Please, just come to Minneapolis and hear me out. I promise after you hear what I have to say, if you never want to speak to me again, I'll understand. Give me a chance."

"Why can't you come here? If you're so all-fired up to have this little heart-to-heart, why not come to me?"

Sam had to think fast. How did she avoid telling him the real reason she couldn't come out there? If Jon wasn't lying in a hospital bed, she would have done it. But there was no way she could leave him.

"I can't get away right now," she said vaguely. "Besides, Daniel tells me you're retired. I'll pay for your ticket."

"Geeze, Carter, it's not the damn ticket! I just don't know what going over this after so much time is going to accomplish!"

Sam tried one last plea. "Jack, I know you haven't thought of me as a friend for years, but please, if you ever felt any friendship for me, you'll do this."

There was another long silence as Sam waited to hear his answer. *Please let him say yes,* she prayed to herself. She heard a long, drawn out sigh, then,

"I don't know why, but I guess you've got my curiosity goin'. Gimme your number. I'll call you when I know what flight I'll be on."

Sam couldn't stop the flood of tears that instantly burst forth at his words. "Thank you, Jack. You don't know what this means to me."

"Well, I better find out," he said. "What's the number?"

*********

Jack hung up the phone. Well, *this* certainly wasn't how he'd envisioned his day ending! What had gotten into Sam that after this much time, she suddenly felt the need to talk about that day. . . . He remembered it with absolute clarity, even after all this time. For the life of him, he couldn't see what would have been so important that Sam would have called him now to put the matter to rest. *Begging* him to come to Minneapolis to settle this. *Minneapolis,* he thought, shaking his head. Who would have thought she was only a couple of hundred miles south of him when he visited his cabin?

Had he known where she was, would he have sought her out? Probably not, he reasoned. After all, Daniel had known all along where she'd moved and he'd never asked him of her location. At first he *was* angry with her, for leaving under the circumstances she had. Then it became a matter of pride. He probably would have reconciled with her at Daniel's wedding if he hadn't been called away on an emergency mission. Not only did he miss his best friend's wedding, he missed the chance to meet with Sam on neutral ground. After that failed opportunity, Jack felt silly trying to contact her. After all, she was the one who left them!

So, over the years, it became more and more difficult to think of a legitimate reason to call her. And surprisingly, he did think of her often. Certainly more than he thought of Sara after their parting, and he'd been married to her!

Jack wondered if he should call Daniel. Maybe he could clue him in on what was going on with Sam. He was pretty sure if Daniel knew anything, he'd tell him. Picking up the phone he dialed Daniel's number. A slightly exasperated voice answered on the other end.

"Yeah?"

"Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"I asked you first," Jack said, smiling at how easily he fell into his old pattern with Daniel.

"I guess I should have expected your call. Sean! Take that balloon away from Ian! Sorry about that. It's a bit of a circus around here today."

"You were expecting me to call?"

"Well, after Sam asked for your number, I figured you'd be my next blast from the past."

"So, what does she really want?" Jack asked.

"You just talked to her, how would I know?" Daniel's voice was harsh; he obviously was dividing his attention between Jack and his kids. "Janet! I'm on the phone with Jack! Could you watch the kids? Just for a second? Oh, Janet says 'hi.'"

"Daniel!"

"Look, Jack, I'm sorry I can't give you more information. She didn't tell me what it was about, only that she needed to get in touch with you."

"But you've got some idea. There's something you're not telling me."

"I've got a theory, but that's all it is, so I'm not going to say anything. I can't believe she got up the nerve to call you then didn't tell you what it was about."

"She asked, no *begged* me to come to Minneapolis to see her, but that's all she said," Jack told him, pacing the confines of his living room.

"I'm sure it's important. She wouldn't have called otherwise. So, are you going?"

Jack blew out a breath. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean now that she's got my curiosity goin', I can't just leave it and not find out what this is all about."

"Just don't be too judgmental," Daniel said.

"You *do* know something!"

"No, I don't. But I know how you are! Give her the benefit of the doubt, okay, Jack? Don't go in with an antagonistic attitude."

"I do not have an antagonistic attitude!"

"You do!"

"Don't!"

"Do!" Daniel started laughing, which got Jack chuckling as well. "I guess some things never change."

There was a bit of a silence, then Daniel said, "Jack, I'm sorry, but I really need to go here or there's going to be an international incident between the Canadian relatives and the Americans."

"Ah, the war with Canada," Jack said, referring to Teal'c's conversation with Michael when they were accidentally transported to 1969.

"Yeah," Daniel laughed. "Something like that. Call me after you've talked to her, okay?"

"Sure, Buddy. Good luck maintaining the demilitarized zone."

Jack hung up the phone with no more information than he'd started with. Still, talking to Daniel seemed to put some perspective on the whole thing. After having spoken to both Sam and Daniel, it almost felt like old times. Now, if Teal'c would just contact him, his day would be complete.

*********

Sam sat in the airport, in an uncomfortable chair, watching the minutes tick by on clocks that seemed to be everywhere, along with monitors listing arriving flights. According to the screen across from her, the flight from Denver was on time. If that was the case, she had thirty-eight minutes to decide what the hell she was going to say to Jack. Make that thirty-seven. Jeff sat next to her, holding Kelsey. She'd told him she was fine meeting Jack on her own, that one of them should be with Jon, but Jeff insisted. Sam knew he was there to see if there were still any emotion between the two of them, more than for moral support.

"Jeff, this really isn't necessary. I'm perfectly capable of meeting him. What if Jon wakes up and we're both gone?"

"Mom and Dad are there, he'll be fine. I want to make sure you are too. I know this can't be easy for you, Sam." Jeff reached over, putting his arm around her shoulders. Maybe she was wrong about Jeff's motivations. Could it be she was projecting her own attitude about their relationship onto him?

"You know," he said, setting Kelsey into a seat of her own, "I'm a little surprised your Dad hasn't come, or at least called. Even Mark did that."

"Dad's traveling, again," Sam said vaguely. "I've been trying to get in touch with him, but I haven't been able to get a message through." She now had a device to contact Jacob/Selmak directly, but he hadn't responded. Perhaps the Tok'ra were on the move again and he couldn't get away. Sam almost smiled to herself as she thought of her father. It was a little like having a secret agent for a parent. Even Jacob wouldn't tell her if the SGC was still in operation. When he did answer Sam's signal, it was always a mystery as to exactly *how* he arrived on Earth.

"For a retired guy, he sure seems busy," Jeff commented.

"He's never liked staying in one place too long," Sam said, and it was especially true now.

"How are you holding up?" Jeff asked.

Sam looked into his genuinely concerned eyes. "I'm okay. I'm nervous, but okay. Who would have thought meeting an old friend could be so hard, huh?"

"Well, from what you told me, you didn't exactly part on the best of terms. I'd be nervous too." Jeff leaned forward and gave her a small kiss. "I'm sorry I wasn't more understanding when you first brought up the idea of bringing him out here."

"I guess I could have been a little more tactful," she said, glad they'd settled their argument before they'd come to the airport. Sam was distracted by Kelsey squirming in her seat.

"It won't be much longer, Honey. I know you're bored."

"Maybe I should take her for a little walk. It'll give you some time to gather your thoughts."

"Thanks, Jeff. I would really appreciate that." Sam watched him walk down the wide aisle, stopping to show their daughter something from one of the vendors. He really was a sweet man, she thought. The few friends she had, often told her how lucky she was to have truly found "Mr. Right." And she knew she was fortunate. What man would marry a pregnant woman, offering to raise her child as his own? Only a man with an incredibly generous nature. And that was Jeff all over. Generous, almost to a fault. Which only served to make Sam feel even worse she didn't return his love. She honestly believed given enough time, Jeff would win her heart. But wasn't ten years enough time?

Sam looked up as she heard the announcement of Jack's arriving flight. All that time she'd sat there musing over Jeff, not once thinking about what she was going to do when she saw Jack. Part of the reason she didn't want to dwell on it was her hope. Hope he'd forgiven her, that he'd be actually be happy to see her again. It battled with her fear that this latest news she had would drive him away forever. If she were honest with herself, she knew she'd never gotten over Jack. Deep down it was the real reason she couldn't find room in her heart for Jeff and his love. She'd just never allowed herself to admit it before.

Looking through the sea of bodies and faces, she spotted him. Dressed in his same old black leather jacket, white T-shirt and blue jeans. He was almost completely gray now, but his face still had a boyish look to it. So much like that of her son, it almost hurt to see the resemblance.

Jack had a curiously blank look on his face when he spotted her, stopping mid-stream in the pedestrian traffic as his eyes met hers. She wondered briefly what her own face was revealing as she gazed at him, before slowly taking a step forward.

*********

Jack stood in the milling crowd, feeling almost as if time had stopped and the rest of the world flowed around him. Sam was standing at the gate. Funny how now it was an airport gate and not the Stargate, he thought to himself briefly. She hadn't changed a bit. Okay, so it wasn't entirely true. There were a few more lines around her eyes, but that was the only discernible difference he saw. Her hair was still short. The same tousled blonde he remembered. She was dressed in a denim jacket, T-shirt and jeans, same as she used to wear off-duty. Only now her downtime had been ten years.

Jack just stared at her, unable to move. He hadn't been prepared for this reaction to seeing her again. He'd been pissed. Pissed she'd called, pissed she'd made this request of him, and pissed at himself for all the old feelings that came flooding back again. Feelings he was sure he'd buried all those years ago. She had such a confused look on her face, for one insane instant he wanted to draw her into his arms and tell her all was forgiven.

Sam took a step forward, breaking the trance they'd both fallen under.

"Hello, sir," she said, with a small smile, obviously unsure about what to call him. Unsure if she should shake his hand, embrace him or simply stand apart from him, aloof. He faced the same dilemma.

"Carter," Jack said evenly. "I thought we agreed it was 'Jack.'"

"You're right. . . Jack." Sam said, still staring at him with wide eyes. "How was you're flight?"

"Typical. I had some screamin' kid behind me and some overweight guy wedged in next to me."

"Is that all you brought?" Sam asked, indicating the carry-on Jack held in his hand.

"Yeah. I kinda figured I over-packed just to have a little chat. Look, Carter, I'm here. So let's cut to the chase. What was so important I had to drag my ass out here?"

"It's Greenfield."

"Excuse me?" "My last name, it's Greenfield." Jack noticed the ring she was nervously twisting on her finger. Of course she would have gotten married, he thought. He shouldn't have been so shocked by the news.

"I didn't figure you for the takin'-the-last-name type."

"Well, it's Carter-Greenfield, actually."

"Whatever. Look, I've got a splitting headache and all I really want is some answers. Don't they have a bar somewhere around here?"

Jack's mood was deteriorating fast. Just then a blonde man stepped up to Sam, placing a possessive arm around her shoulders, holding onto the hand of a small girl, who looked exactly like Sam. Jack felt some of his anger fading, seeing Sam's daughter. God, she looked just like her!

"Jack, I'd like you to meet my husband, Jeff Greenfield, Jeff, Jack O'Neill." Jack eyed the man before him. Jeff smiled at him, but it lacked warmth. Accepting the man's out-stretched hand, Jack tried to make his own smile more sincere, but knew he hadn't succeeded. He watched as Sam's eyes flitted between the two of them, as if she were trying to sense any hostility.

"And this is Kelsey," She said, picking her daughter up.

"Hello," she said. "Are you my mommy's friend? She said an old friend of hers was coming here today. You sure look old."

"Kelsey!" Sam admonished, but couldn't hide her grin. If she were on good terms with Jack, it's probably something she would have said herself.

"Cute. She really does take after you," Jack said, smiling now.

"So, you and my wife were in the Air Force together." Jeff stated, stressing the word "wife."

"Yeah, we made quite a team in those days," Jack said, grinning at Sam, making small talk like he was working a cocktail party.

"Sam doesn't talk much about those days," Jeff said.

Sam's head snapped up, giving her husband a glaring look. Jack didn't know what it was about, but Sam was definitely *not* a happy camper. Even after all this time he could still read her emotions.

"Look, I just had a long flight and it's starting to get a little dry in here. Whaddya say we move this little reunion to someplace where I could get a drink?"

"I'd prefer not to have my daughter in a bar," Jeff said.

"Well, that settles it then, since I came here to talk to Sam." Jack was tired of all the beating around the bush these two were doing. Sam had something to tell him? Fine. Let her tell him so he could go home and pretend to forget about her again.

Jeff was clenching his jaw, about to protest, when Sam dragged him off a few feet, talking to him in hushed tones. Jack didn't catch much, but most of what he heard was Sam's pleading with him to understand.

Finally, he looked up, frowning at Jack. "Fine. We'll wait for you at the main entrance. I'll give you an hour."

As Jeff left them, Jack called out, insincerely, "Nice to have met you!"

Sam gave him a venomous stare. "Well, one thing hasn't changed. You're still ass, Jack."

*********

*Nice way to get on his good side,* Sam thought to herself. It was just so hard not to fall into the same routine they'd always had. Either the flirting that was on the edge of improper behavior or the constant baiting of the other.

"I'm glad to see he hasn't taken all the of 'Carter' out of you," Jack teased, easing the tension between them.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I really am incredibly grateful you came here."

Suddenly serious, Jack asked, "okay, Sam. What is this all about? You mentioned P2R-665. . . ."

"Not here. Let's just wait until we get to the lounge, okay?"

Jack threw up his arms. "Sure, why not? What's a few more minutes of mystery?"

***

Sam and Jack settled in a far corner of the tacky airport bar, waiting for the cocktail waitress to saunter over to them. Once they placed their order, Jack turned his attention back to Sam.

"Okay, we've got as much privacy as we're going to get around here, so spill it. What couldn't you tell me over the phone?"

"I assume you remember what happened on P2R-. . . "

"665, yeah, I remember. Facing death has a way of sticking with you."

"We were in bad situations before," Sam reminded him.

"Yeah, but not like that. And we'd never. . . . I mean, we were pretty sure we were going to die in the morning, so it was understandable that we. . ."

"Slept together?" she couldn't quite term it as "making love," even though it's how she chose to remember it.

"Well, that's a little more polite than what I would have called it," Jack said, looking down at the table. He looked up, meeting her gaze, adding. "we had sex, Sam, and I'm sorry. Sorry I didn't have more restraint, and sorry we never really cleared the air after we got back. We never quite got back to where we'd been before that, did we?"

Sam swallowed, trying to keep her emotions in check. "No, we didn't. I can't tell you how much I missed that. How much I missed being comfortable around you, and having you be comfortable with me. I tried to bring it up, to talk to you about what happened, but you just kept brushing it aside, as if it hadn't occurred. That was the mistake, Jack. Not what happened on the planet."

"I know," he sighed, looking down once more, only to be distracted by the waitress placing a scotch in front of him.

"That's the real reason why you left, isn't it? Because things were so strained between us."

"It's part of the reason," Sam acknowledged.

"So, I got that part on my own," Jack said. "Why call me and ask me to come here just to tell me that? You could have said this over the phone."

"Like I said, it was part of the reason."

"And the other part?" he asked, taking a sip of his drink.

Sam fiddled with the straw of her soda, still hesitating how she should phrase her confession. "The day I resigned, the day I came to talk to you, I was coming to tell you something else."

"What? What were you going to tell me?"

"As I approached your door, I heard you talking to Daniel. Talking to him about what happened on the planet."

Jack looked sheepish. "So, you were pissed that I was talking to Danny about it, but not you. I guess I can see that, but did you have to resign over it?"

"You told him it was a mistake. That you'd wished it never happened," Sam's voice caught, her eyes starting to fill with tears.

"Yeah, I did, because I felt the reason everything had gone to hell with us was because I couldn't keep it in my pants."

"Jack," Sam said, wiping the tears that were now flowing down her cheeks, "I was coming to tell you I was. . .that I was pregnant."

Jack's mouth dropped open as he stared at her in total disbelief. "Pregnant? But. . .I thought. . . . Didn't Jolinar. . . . You weren't on any kind of birth control?" The disjointed sentences still didn't seem to be sinking the concept into his brain.

"Birth control? Why, because of my active social life? You, more than anyone, knew I had no life outside the SGC. It seemed a little ridiculous to risk the side effects when there was no reason. And you're right. Jolinar *did* mess up my body chemistry. I never expected to have *any* children because of it. And I certainly didn't expect to find my self pregnant after. . .after what happened with us. I mean it was only the once."

"Well, twice, if you want to get technical," Jack said. "God," he said, downing his drink in one gulp.

Sam watched as Jack let the knowledge settle in his brain. Suddenly, his head snapped up.

"You had the baby?"

"Yes," she said quietly, unable to look him in the eye. "A boy."

"Jesus, Sam! You had my kid and never *told* me? Never even gave me the option of being his father? Christ! You *know* how much kids mean to me! What Charlie meant to me! How could you have kept this to yourself?"

"I'm sorry, Jack. I know I should have told you!" Sam cried, looking back up at him. "Do you know how many times I tried to tell you? How many times I picked up the phone to try and explain? After I met Jeff, and we decided to get married, it just seemed harder and harder to come up with a way to tell you."

"You're *sorry?* that's all you have to say? You've been living a lie for what, a little over ten years and 'sorry' is the best you can do?"

"I did it for you!"

"Oh, right! Please spare me the speech about how you didn't tell me so you could protect my position at the SGC!" Jack's voice had raised sufficiently to earn him some dirty looks from the surrounding customers.

"That was part of it, I admit. But what did you expect me to say after I heard what you said to Daniel? You told him you would give anything to take it back! That you didn't think of me in that way! How the hell was I supposed to walk into your office and expect you to be even mildly accepting of the fact I was having your baby?"

"Sam, we would have worked something out! You were quick enough to leave the SGC for private research, to run away. We could have worked out. . .something," he repeated.

"Like what? Me staying on as a civilian? I couldn't do that any more than you could. How do you think I would have felt watching you all go off without me? And my staying on as a civilian wouldn't have stopped you from getting court-martialed! Especially given the circumstances of our 'encounter,' I'm sure we both would have been brought up on charges. Even if it was a mutual decision. That wasn't how I planned to end my military career, or yours."

"So, you ran away," Jack accused. "God! I still can't believe you never told me! Where the hell is that cocktail waitress?"

Sam reached across the table, trying to touch his hand.

"Don't, Carter," he said as he snatched his hand back. "I don't want to be comforted. I don't want to understand, because I can't. There's no reason for keeping this from me. You could have said *something* before this. Even if you couldn't say it, you could have wrote to me for Christ's sake!"

"I know," Sam whispered, looking down once more, as her tears flowed freely. "But I was scared. Scared of this. Scared of you looking at me that way; disgusted with me."

Jack sighed. "Sam, I'm not disgusted with you. I'm angry as hell, but can you blame me?"

"No," she said, wiping at her eyes in vain.

"So why now? Why'd you suddenly decide this was the day to turn my life upside down?"

Sam hesitated. How much more could she subject him to and expect him not to just walk out of the dingy bar, and never speak to her again?

"Where is he? You brought your daughter and husband, were you afraid to let me see him?"

"He couldn't come."

"Why? Nintendo more important than meeting your real old man?"

"He. . .he isn't well," Sam managed.

"What? He's sick? Got a cold or somethin'?"

God, he was going to make her spell it out for him! "No, Jack, he doesn't have a cold. He's just been diagnosed with aplastic anemia."

"Plastic what?"

"*A* plastic anemia. It's a condition where his body isn't producing enough red blood cells."

< "And that's bad, right?"

"It's very bad, Jack. He's dying."

Jack's gaze met Sam's, and for the first time, there was genuine sympathy in his eyes. "Oh, God, Sam! That's why you called? Because he's sick?"

"Yes."

"So, what's this, like some kind of last minute plea? To try and redeem yourself for keeping my son from me for all these years?"

"No, Jack. I mean, yes, in a way. I guess if this hadn't happened I wouldn't have been forced to contact you."

"Kinda weird feelin' like I should be grateful he got sick so I had the chance to meet him."

Sam glared at him. "How can you even think that? If you knew the pain he's gone through, both mentally and physically you'd think before you speak!"

"I want to see him. Now. He's in the hospital, right? Take me to him."

"Jack, maybe it would be better if you calmed down a bit before. . ."

"Damn it, Sam! I didn't come all the way out here for you to drop this little bombshell on me just to board the next plane home! You take me to him! Now!"

"Okay! Just calm down! Being ready to kill me isn't exactly going to win you any points when you meet him."

"I'm not gonna to kill you, Sam. At least not until I've seen him." Normally, that statement would have been laced with Jack's brand of sarcasm. This time it wasn't. He was serious. There was going to be no easy forgiveness for her.

*********

Jack stood outside the door of his son's room. His son. The words almost didn't have any meaning for him. Standing there, he had the strangest sense of deja vu. The last time he'd seen Charlie was in a room like this, barely hanging on to life. Now he was going to see another son, for the first time, also in a hospital room, hanging on to life. There was definitely some irony here.

"Jack?" Sam asked, lightly touching his arm.

"Yeah. Let's do this," he said, surprised to find his voice hoarse.

Jeff started towards them, but Sam held up her hand. "I think it's better if it's just us, first, okay?"

He nodded, stepping back away from the entrance to Jon's room, but not before giving Jack a warning.

"You better not say anything to upset *my* son. You might have been there for the conception, but in every way that matters, he's mine."

"Look, *Buddy,*" Jack said, getting in Jeff's face, "I was there for more than just the 'conception' as you put it! And I would have been there for both of them if I'd known Sam was pregnant!"

"You seem like a pretty smart guy, Jack. I think if you'd had any compassion towards Sam, you would have figured out what was going on with her!"

"Don't you presume to tell me what I felt for Samantha!" Jack almost shouted, stepping closer to Jeff.

"Jack! Jeff! Stop it!" Sam cried, holding her hands up to her temples. "This isn't going to solve anything! The important person here is Jon! You think he won't hear this or pick up on all this fighting? He's *my* son. And while you've both played a part in his life, I won't have *either* of you upsetting him!"

Jack and Jeff stared at each other, then backed off.

"She's right," Jeff said. "I'll talk to him later." He turned, taking Kelsey with him.

"Feel better? Now that you've got all that macho posturing out of the way?" Sam asked.

"Actually, yeah. Let's go."

Sam pushed the door open crossing to the bed where a pale boy lay. Jack approached slowly, uncertain of what he was going to say. Looking down at the child, Jack felt his breath catch. It could have been Charlie! His features mirrored his dead son's so closely, Jack felt his knees growing weak. Jack sagged a bit against the bed, causing Sam to grab his arm.

"Jack? Are you all right?"

"Charlie," he mumbled. "He looks just like Charlie."

Sam was at a loss for words as Jack suddenly turned to leave the room. He needed air. Needed to pull himself together before he even thought about meeting him. As he rushed from the room, he heard a weak voice.

"Mom? Who was that?"

"An old friend of mine, Honey. I'll be right back. Okay?"

Jack didn't hear the boy's response as the door shut behind him. Leaning on the corridor wall, he covered his face with his hands. Why was he so surprised? Everyone always told him Charlie was his spitting image. It stood to reason Sam's son could look like him as well. He was sure there were differences, but he hadn't had time to look for them. All he saw was the similarity between the two boys who would have been brothers.

He felt a hand on his arm. "Jack? What's wrong? Why did you leave?"

It took a moment, but finally he whispered. "Charlie. He looks just like Charlie." Jack took a deep breath. "I don't know what I was expecting. . . . Maybe for him to look more like you. Like Kelsey does. I don't know. It was just kind of a shock."

"I'm sorry," Sam said. "I should have realized. I mean I've seen pictures of Charlie at your house, and I know how much Jon looks like you, and. . ."

"Jon? His name is Jon? As in Jonathan? You *named* him after me but you couldn't tell me about him?" Jack was staring at Sam with such fury he caused her to take a step back.

"Jack, I. . . ."

"Save it, Carter," he snapped almost as if he were in a position to still give her orders. Now that he was a little more prepared to see him, Jack wanted to talk to his son.

Sam followed him into the room, pasting on a fake smile. This time when she introduced him as an old friend, her voice shook, probably feeling she no longer had the right to refer to him as her friend.

"Jon, honey, this is Jack. An old friend of mine from when I used to be in the Air Force." Sam held the boy's hand and looked tentatively at Jack, begging him with her eyes not to upset him.

"Hey, Sport," Jack said, extending his hand.

Jon let go of his mother's hand and shook Jack's. "It's nice to meet you, sir."

"Hey, what's with the 'sir' stuff? Your mom teach you that? Call me 'Jack,'" he smiled.

"Okay, Jack."

There was a tense silence as everyone looked to the other to say something.

"Soooo," Jack finally said, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans, "you're not feelin' too hot, huh?"

"Just a little tired, is all."

Jack could see he was trying to be brave in front of his mother, and for some reason he felt proud of him. He'd barely met the kid and already he found himself liking him. Of course he'd like him, he thought. He was his son. His and Sam's. How could he *not* care about him? Just the thought sent his head spinning. In all the times he'd thought about her over the years, this was the last scenario he'd come up with. True, he'd had some day dreams that if she'd stuck around the SGC, eventually they might have gotten together. Maybe they would have even had some kids. But this wasn't how he'd envisioned having that kid. Meeting him for the first time when he was sick and half-way to adulthood.

"So, what do ya like to do, besides hangin' out in the hospital?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm working on project for my science fair competition. If I win, they're going to display it in the Science Museum of Minnesota."

Jack looked up at Sam, his gaze softening for the first time since he'd learned of Jon's existence. "Geeze, Carter, couldn't you have taught him how to play hockey or somethin'?"

"I do play hockey," Jon piped up. "Or rather I did, before I was sick."

"All right!" Jack exclaimed, giving the boy a high-five. "I knew I liked you!"

"Well, this *is* Minnesota, after all," Sam said. "He could hardly avoid it."

"Mom's not a big fan," Jon said, almost as if he were sharing inside information.

"Oh, I know. When a game used to be on, I'd bribe her and tell her we were gonna watch 'Nova.' It didn't take her long to catch on though. You're mom's kinda smart." Jack glanced over at Sam, noticing the small, embarrassed smile playing on her lips.

"Okay, you guys! Two against one isn't fair! Hockey's. . .okay. I just don't see the point of it, that's all."

"Mom!" Jon wailed, as if he'd have this conversation with her before.

"Are ya any good?" Jack asked.

Jon shrugged. "I'm okay, I guess. Coach says I have 'potential.'"

"Well, ya know, once you can pry yourself away from the great food and good lookin' women around here, I'll have to show you some moves. I used to be pretty good. Had some 'potential' of my own at one point."

"Really? That would be *so* cool! My dad's tried, but he's not very good. But don't tell him I said that," he said, looking to his mother then back to Jack. "I don't want to hurt his feelings."

"It'll be our secret," Jack said.

Jon grew quiet, suddenly, playing with the edge of his blanket.

"Honey? What's wrong?" Sam asked. Jack noticed the shift in the boy's mood as well.

"Nothing," Jon tried to smile at her, but he didn't quite make it. "It's just that. . .it's just that I know I need that transplant to get better. And I start thinking about playing hockey. Even if I get the transplant, you're not going to let me play again, are you?"

Jack's head snapped up. His eyes bored into Sam's as she tried placating her son. "Jon, that'll be up to the doctors. If they say it's all right, I won't make you quit."

"It doesn't matter," Jon said, picking at the fibers of the blanket. "They'll never find a donor for me anyway."

"Don't talk like that!" Sam stated emphatically. "Jon, we'll find one! You're going to get better! You're going to be playing hockey, and army, and going back to school before you know it!"

Jack could see Jon was fighting the temptation to cry. "I'm kind of tired now, Mom. I'm going to go to sleep for awhile, okay?"

Sam stroked the hair from his brow. "Sure, Jon. I'll be just outside if you need me, okay?"

Jon nodded his head. "Jack, you're not going back to Colorado, are you?"

"Not yet, Buddy. I've got to show you those hockey moves, remember?"

Jon nodded again, rolling over onto his side.

***

Jack followed Sam out of Jon's room, grabbing her arm as soon as they were out of earshot.

"You and I need to have a little chat, Mrs. Greenfield."

"Jack! You're hurting me! Let go!" she whispered.

"Where can we go to talk in private?" he asked, propelling her down the hallway.

"There's a waiting room around the next corner."

Jack pulled her roughly into the room. "*Now* it's all starting to come together," he said. "How much longer were you going to wait to tell me he needs a transplant of some kind? That's the real reason you called me, isn't it? The real reason you insisted I come here to have this little reunion! So I could be his donor!"

"Jack, I was going to tell, you, really I was, but I didn't want to drop everything on you at once! My, God! How would you have felt if I'd called you up, told you about Jon and that he needed a bone marrow transplant all in one quick phone call? It's bad enough you had to find out this way!"

"Damn straight it's bad! It wouldn't have gotten to this point if you hadn't kept his birth a secret from me!" Jack released her arm and Sam moved away from him, rubbing the spot he'd gripped her.

"Okay, Jack, you're right. I was completely wrong not to tell you about Jon. And calling you only when I want, no *need* something from you is reprehensible." She stopped to try and catch her breath as she began crying once more. "I can't tell you how sorry I am that it came to this. That I'm *using* you. But I didn't know what to do. I was so scared. I'm *still* so scared. If we can't find a donor, my son is going to die. You of all people should understand how desperate I feel! You know what it's like to lose a son!"

"So, I get to do it all over again, huh? Find out I've got a second chance at being a father, only to discover *this* son is going to die as well? Talk about being trapped in the Twilight Zone!"

"I can't lose him," Sam sobbed, taking a seat, burying her face in her hands. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost him."

Jack felt himself softening. He knew exactly what this felt like. To be so scared you would rather go into battle unarmed rather than face the possibility your child wasn't going to make it. To beg a higher power to take you instead, so your son had a chance at life.

Sitting down next to Sam, he put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry too, Sam. I know what you're going through, and even though I'm still angry you didn't tell me about Jon, I wouldn't wish this helpless feeling on anyone."

"Please believe me, Jack, I never meant to hurt you by keeping Jon a secret. I knew if you found out I was pregnant, you would have insisted on marrying me. I didn't want that, not when you didn't love me. It wasn't fair to either of us. Then you were so angry with me because I was leaving, I was too scared to tell you."

"Sam," Jack said, pulling her back slightly so he could see her face, "Where did you come up with I didn't love you? I didn't know myself how I felt about you. That was the problem! We crossed a line we weren't ready to cross. And yes, you're right, I probably would have done the 'honorable thing' and married you, but would it have been so bad? At least we were friends! If we weren't in love, we probably would have ended up there."

"I just couldn't see myself staying at the SGC with a baby. It just wouldn't have worked, and you know it. Even as a civilian it would have demanded too much of my time."

"I could have retired. I had, twice."

"I know, and I thought about it. I know you think I came to this decision easily, but I didn't. Jack, the SGC needed you. My loss was going to be bad enough, but both of us would have truly damaged the program. I worked too long and hard to see it become a reality to ruin it by taking you as well."

Jack allowed Sam to pull herself away from him. "There were no easy answers, were there?" he said.

"No. I really thought my leaving was the best of the bad choices. And then I met Jeff. He was kind, funny, giving. He reminded me of you without the sarcasm," she confessed. "And most importantly, he was willing to raise another man's child without question. He never even knew where I came up with the name 'Jonathan' until two days ago. We had quite a fight about it, actually."

"Yeah, something like that wouldn't have set too well with me either," Jack said.

Sam sat back on the uncomfortable vinyl chair, staring at him. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm wondering how you can always get me to forget how pissed I am at you."

"Did I piss you off a lot?"

"Only because you were usually right. And because you could always see through the jokes to know what I was really feeling. Couldn't get much past you, Carter."

Sam managed to smile a bit. "Still can't, sir."

Jack blew out a breath. "So, this bone marrow thingy. What's it take?"

"You're willing to try?" Sam asked, suddenly sitting up straighter, leaning closer to him.

"Well, that's why you dragged me out here, isn't it?" Jack felt the beginnings of a smile coming to his face.

"First there's a blood test. If you're compatible, then Dr. Bellanca does what's called a 'bone marrow aspiration.' That involves taking bone marrow from either your sternum or from you hip. Most likely it'll be your hip."

"Takes it how?"

"With a syringe."

"As in big honkin' needle?"

"They put you to sleep," Sam assured him. Jack felt the blood drain from his face. If there was one thing he didn't miss about the SGC, it was Janet's exams and tests.

"And then what? They inject it into Jon's bones?"

"Into an I.V., actually. The hope is the healthy bone marrow will start producing red blood cells and reverse the effects of the anemia. Dr. Bellanca tells me it's relatively painless."

"Yeah, well, I bet he wouldn't say that if it was happening to him."

Sam grinned at his grumbling. "It's nice to know something's haven't changed. You're still a baby when it comes to needles."

"I never saw you fightin' to be the first in line for your post-mission physical," he smiled back.

Jack hadn't realized how much he'd missed trading quips with Sam. It was useless as ever for him to try to stay mad at her. He guessed he could understand her reasons for not telling him. It didn't make it right, or make up for the time he lost with Jon. But he had the chance to get to know him now, and he wasn't going to miss the opportunity.

*********

Sam looked up as Jack exited the lab, sliding on his jacket.

"They said they'd have the results early tomorrow," he told her.

"Thank you, Jack. You don't know what this means to me. To all of us."

"Ya, well, it's just a test, Sam. Don't get your hopes up until we find out the results."

"I know," she said looking down at her hands. "But this is going to work. I can just feel it."

"So, where's the better half?" Jack asked.

"With Jon. Kelsey's with him too."

"How do they get along? The kids I mean."

"Surprisingly well. I think because there's such an age gap between them," she said. "Kelsey worships Jon, and he's amazingly patient with her."

"Kinda like us, huh? You worshipped me, and I was amazingly patient."

Sam burst out laughing, the first real laugh since this nightmare began. "You still tell the worst jokes."

"And you still laugh at them. I've missed you, Sam."

Suddenly feeling shy, Sam confessed, "I missed you too, Jack." Tentatively, she looked up at him. Seeing the honest emotion in his eyes made her heart flutter. *Damn!* She thought. She could have sworn she was completely over him, but one look, and five minutes of civility had all her old feelings rushing back to her.

"I. . .I really should get back to Jon. Do you want to come?"

"I would, but since I hadn't planned on being here more than a few hours, I didn't make any arrangements for a room or anything. And it looks like I'm going to have to cash in my return ticket for a later date."

Sam was about to offer to let him stay with them, but knew the situation would be too awkward. "I can recommend some places nearby, if you like, tell you how to get there. I suppose you'll have to rent a car, too. Jack, you understand why I don't. . ."

"It's okay, Sam. It would be a little too weird. This'll be fine."

"I just wish there was something I could do for you. I can't believe you're being so understanding after, well, after the kind of day it's been."

"There is one thing you could do for me."

"Anything."

"Promise me when visiting hours are over you'll go home and get some rest. You look like hell, Sam. You're not going to help Jon by letting him see how worried you are."

"Jack, I can't leave him! I'll sleep in the chair or something, but I can't go! Do you know how hard it was to leave him even to come to the airport?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I do. Okay, I won't fight you on this. At least not right now. Promise me you'll try to get some sleep?"

"I'll try."

"I'll make sure she doesn't over-do it," Jeff said, coming up behind Jack. "I see you two settled your differences?"

"We called a truce," Jack acknowledged.

"Jack had his blood drawn for the compatibility test," Sam informed Jeff. She watched as Jeff held his emotions in check long enough to thank Jack.

Jeff extended his hand, offering it to Jack. "I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot, Jack. I can't tell you what this means to Sam and I that you're willing to give this a shot."

Sam knew what it had taken for Jeff to say the words he had to Jack. If there ever was a time she felt she didn't deserve Jeff, this was it. Here she was, practically flaunting a past lover in his face, and he was the one bearing the olive branch.

It took a moment, but Jack eventually grasped the man's hand. "It's been kind of a rough day for all of us," he said. "Well," Jack said, clearing his throat. "I should get going on finding that room."

"I'll give you a hand," Sam volunteered again.

"Ya know, Sam, I'll just call a cab. You've been away from Jon enough today."

"Jeff could take you, couldn't you?" she asked.

Jeff hesitated then answered, "sure. You mind taking Kelsey, though? I could use a break from keeping my eye on her."

"Of course," she said, taking Kelsey's hand.

"I want to stay with Daddy!"

Sam looked apologetically at Jeff. She really didn't want to cause a scene over something so trivial. "I'm sorry. Do you mind?"

"No," Jeff sighed. "It's okay. We'll see you later." He leaned in and gave Sam a kiss good-bye. It was certainly a more extensive kiss than necessary, but she knew whose benefit it was for. "I'll be back as soon as I can," he told her

"It's really not a problem to call a cab," Jack said.

"It's fine, Jack," Jeff said. "After all, a lift to a motel is the least I can do."

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