Another raid that was too simple, too easy. Chakotay was even more on edge; wondering what Starfleet's game plan was. Even Kurt was becoming suspicious. There had been a Federation presence around the dilithium refinery, but no more than standard security. Surely the Federation realized what a crucial target the refinery was and that the Maquis would eventually try to destroy it. In fact, Chakotay himself was aware of Starfleet's knowledge that this was a key installation. He had known months ago that this was a good bet for a Maquis strike. And yet, once again, there was only minimal resistance.
Chakotay did have his chance to prove his loyalty to his new cause, as he fired on one of the few ships Starfleet had stationed as a defense. Had it been an actual battle, where he had been defending his people from an aggressor, he could have justified the killing. As it was, he felt nauseous. Killing just for the sake of killing. True, he had solidified his position as a leader among his cell, but at what cost? His people looked at him with new respect, but now he couldn't look at himself.
Lakita saw the inner war her brother was waging, but knew there was little she could do for him. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she gave him a small reassuring smile, but said nothing. She knew he understood her intentions without having to verbalize them.
If the Maquis had done nothing else, at least it had brought her and her brother closer together. Not that she would have chosen this method of aquatinting herself with her family, but at least it was some compensation for all the devastation that had been dealt to the people living in the DMZ.
Chakotay had left for the Academy when she had been quite young, and visited rarely. Consequently, she had an image of him that was larger-than-life. He was practically a mythical being in her mind. An idol who could do no wrong. At first it was a shock for Lakita to realize he was just a man, like any other. That he couldn't make things better with the wave of his hand. Of course she didn't really think that was what was going to happen when he joined the Maquis, but she hadn't anticipated the other's resistance to his leadership. It forced her to see her brother as mortal, and at first she had been a bit disappointed. Her "knight in shining armor" had been replaced by a rather tarnished image of a man who joined their cause out of guilt, rather than an actual belief in the rightness of their movement.
Of course, she now knew Chakotay had embraced their cause, and it wasn't the destruction of a Federation ship that had convinced her. She saw in his eyes the minute he stopped belonging to Starfleet. It was also when he gave up trying to contact Kathryn. He had come to some sort of resolution about his choices and accepted the repercussions of his actions.
Chakotay watched Lakita walk away from him, her touch having said all there was to say between them. She knew the pain he was in both today and the recent past, and her reassuring smile told him she understood. When had he begun to rely so much on her? His little sister somehow had become his confessor, granting him absolution when he couldn't find it within himself. Of all his sisters, he would have thought the spoiled baby of the family would be the last to offer him a sense of comfort. He missed so much of her life, having been at the Academy during most of her formative years. Knowing she idolized him, he ate it up, reveling in the fact that she thought he could do no wrong.
Chakotay wondered if he'd ever have seen this side of his sister had they not been forced into this situation. He knew he'd probably have continued to have a superficial relationship with her. Calling her occasionally, and visiting even less frequently. It was almost reason enough to have joined the Resistance, just to get this opportunity to know her as a person. Wondering if he had the chance to do it all again, he decided he couldn't make that decision. Things happened for a reason. Perhaps he had lost Kathryn, but he'd found Lakita in her place. It wasn't an even trade, but at least he'd received something for all his sacrifice.
Chakotay looked up to see Seska headed in his direction with a plate of food.
"I noticed you didn't eat anything," she said, handing him the plate. He accepted it, but set it aside.
"I'm not hungry," he answered, not offering her a place near the fire.
"That was some pretty impressive flying," Seska continued, taking a seat next to him. She saw him almost pull away at her invasion of his personal space, but at the last minute, he stayed where he was. She could tell he was uncomfortable with her closeness, but chose to remain where she was.
"Thanks."
"Nice shot on that ship, too. I think it was the turning point of the whole battle."
"Battle?" he cried, jumping up to walk some distance from her. "That was no battle, it was a slaughter!"
"And here I thought you'd proven your loyalty to us today," Seska sneered. "You're still as much a part of Starfleet as if you were standing there in that uniform."
"Is it so disloyal to the Resistance that I don't believe in senseless killing? I didn't know the Maquis had taken up the Cardassian way of life, killing just to be killing. If that's the criteria you judge your comrades-in-arms by, then yeah, I guess I do still belong to the Federation and Starfleet." Chakotay was pacing before the fire, growing angrier by the second. He regretted his decision to fire on the ship even more, now that Seska sat there, claiming it wasn't good enough. He started to leave, but she called out to him.
"Chakotay! Wait! I'm sorry I pushed you. But you have to know how it looks! One minute heading up the posse that's sent to look for us, and the next your the leader of a cell? Wouldn't you be a little suspicious of that great of a turn-around?"
"I suppose, but if I was a spy, don't you think sending me here under these conditions is a bit obvious?"
"Sometimes the best place to hide is right under someone's nose," she said. "And what about all those transmissions you sent when you first got here? We were able to trace them, you know, at least as far as they got."
"What are you talking about?" Chakotay asked, suddenly scared that she *would* be convinced he was a spy if she'd figured out that the messages he'd sent had been to *Starfleet* Captain Kathryn Janeway. Even if he did send most of them to her house, he'd tried to get some through to her office as well. How would he be able to explain he was only trying to contact Kathryn to let her know how much he loved her, how much he regretted having to make the choice between her and his People?
"Your messages didn't get through," she said, watching his reaction to the news.
"Didn't get through?" he whispered. Chakotay sat down as if he'd had the wind knocked out of him. In fact he felt breathless. *None* of the messages had gotten through? Then she still didn't know? Didn't know why he had left her? Oh, Gods, his mind moaned. It had been the only thing that had been keeping him going. The thought that she knew he hadn't deserted the moment he left her. Not that she was going to forgiving him, but now there was no chance for that! Surely *Voyager* was on the way, if not already somewhere within the DMZ. And she would be there to bring him in, thinking he had tossed her aside to join the enemy.
His mind was still reeling when he looked up at Seska. "How long have you known about this?"
"Since you sent them."
"And you didn't tell me?"
"Do you think I'm stupid? If you're a spy, do you think I'd tell you your transmissions didn't get through so you could keep trying? Although, I do have to admit, whoever you were trying to contact, you certainly gave it a valiant effort."
"So why are you telling me all this now? Don't you still think I'm a spy?" he asked.
"No, I don't. And it wasn't shooting that pathetic little excuse for a defense from the sky," she confessed. "I knew you weren't a spy before that. I just wanted to see if you had the balls to do it."
"So all this was some little test you devised to see if I had the 'right stuff?'"
"More or less," she said, rising. "Oh, and by the way, you passed."
*********
Kathryn sat at her desk reviewing the report on latest Maquis raid on the L'nock Dilithium Refinery. 150 casualties, 75 dead. Most of them had been on a small ship that was the only defense for the mining operation. The worst of it was, they had been in the area. They received the distress calls for any available assistance and they just sat there, ignoring the pleas of the people on the planet. After five minutes, Janeway had snapped at Harry to turn off the audio. She couldn't stand to listen to their cries for help as she stood by and let them be murdered. How could Starfleet ask this of her? Of any of their people? She wasn't the only one affected by the desperate calls for help. All of the Bridge crew had looked as if they were about to be ill. She couldn't stand to look at any of them and fled to the safety of her Ready Room. Feeling like a coward, she finished reading her reports and took her seat once more on the Bridge. She'd barely settled in when Ensign Kim informed her they had another distress call coming in. She was about to inform him she didn't want to hear another call she couldn't answer when he cried,
"This one's different! It's coming from Resika Prime! I think it's Commander Tuvok!"
At the mention of Tuvok's name, Kathryn was on her feet. "Send him a message confirming that we're on our way. Mr. Paris, lay in a course for Resika Prime, warp seven."
"Aye, Captain," Paris replied, fingers flying over his console. The mood seemed to have lightened considerably, although no one besides Harry and Janeway knew who Commander Tuvok was. All they knew was they were no longer simply waiting for casualty reports to come in.
Once in orbit around Resika, Janeway left for the transporter room, wanting to be on hand when Tuvok beamed aboard. She had a mind full of questions she needed answers to, even though she knew Tuvok would give her a very thorough report once he had time to complete it.
Janeway gave the order to "energize" and waited the few seconds for Tuvok's form to materialize on the pad. He appeared, calm and unruffled as ever as if he'd been vacationing on Resika rather than marooned there.
"Greetings, Captain," he said, stepping from the pad.
"It's good to see you, Tuvok, but I admit, I didn't expect it to be under these circumstances."
"Nor did I. It was a rather unusual set of events that led to my being on Resika," he said as they headed towards the Bridge. Once in the turbolift he said, "I have a great deal of information to relay, but I feel it's best if we wait until we have the privacy of your Ready Room."
"Agreed," she said, knowing the words were said to temper her patience. He knew she was filled with questions, but didn't want to start when he'd be interrupted by their arrival on the Bridge. Once there, Kathryn made short introductions to the Bridge staff before they entered her office.
Declining her offer of refreshment or a seat, Tuvok stood at attention, ready for his debriefing. His formal stance was nothing new to Janeway. In all the time she'd known him, she'd never seen him truly relax, at least not by human standards. She sometimes wondered why he bothered with a chair or sofa in his living areas. Maybe for his human friends when they dropped by.
"Why don't you just start at the beginning," Janeway prompted, settling back in her desk chair with a cup of coffee. Her relaxed posture was the opposite of her true emotions, but she thought if she emulated calm, perhaps she would begin to feel it.
"As you can imagine, I was rather surprised to see Comm. . .Chakotay across the compound on Meridian III. At first I thought he'd been sent in as another operative, but all too quickly I realized he was there by choice."
Kathryn felt herself sit up straighter at the mention of Chakotay's name. She had wondered what would happen when the two men met. Tuvok obviously was a threat to the Resistance, and Chakotay would do something about it. What he would actually do, she didn't know, but obviously he hadn't killed him or turned him over to the Maquis. For that she was grateful. Maybe he didn't have a chance to reveal Tuvok's secret. Perhaps Tuvok had managed to make it off Meridian to Resika before Chakotay could turn him in.
As if reading her thoughts, Tuvok continued. "Chakotay delivered me to Resika, allowed me to retain my communication equipment and provided me with ample rations until I could be rescued. I believe he knew it was *Voyager* that would find me."
"Oh? Why do you say that?"
"Because he asked me to deliver a message to you."
Kathryn could no longer maintain her veneer of calm. She knew Tuvok had seen through it anyway. Standing to pace the room, she nodded for him to continue.
"He asked me to tell you that he 'still loves you and never meant to hurt you.'" Tuvok clearly felt uncomfortable delivering a message of such a personal nature.
Kathryn waited for more, but apparently there was none. That was it? Still no explanation? Just a false declaration of love and an ineffectual attempt at an apology? Kathryn thought she'd worked through a major portion of the hurt she felt at his disappearance, but now she wondered if she'd settled anything at all. The pain she felt at the abbreviated message was almost worse than if she'd heard nothing at all. Tears stung her eyes but she would not cry. She wouldn't give the bastard that satisfaction.
Seeing the Captain's distress, Tuvok made an attempt to comfort her. "I do not believe Chakotay's words were meant to cause you duress, Captain. I believe he meant for them to be reassuring."
Janeway gave a short laugh and tried to blink away her unshed tears. "I'm sure that's what he thought he was doing." She cleared her throat and forced herself to concentrate on the issue at hand. "Please, Tuvok. Continue."
Relaying how the new Maquis Captain had spared his life in deference to her, Tuvok informed her how he hadn't expected to be allowed to live. Kathryn wasn't quite sure why the Vulcan was defending Chakotay's actions to her. Perhaps it was simple gratitude, that he felt he should give credit where credit was due. But it was more likely he thought he was helping to mend the rift between her and Chakotay. For all his outward coolness and apparent lack of emotions, Kathryn knew Tuvok to be something of a romantic at heart. He would deny it of course, stating it was "illogical," but that didn't mean it wasn't there. It was one of the reasons she had found herself friends with him in the first place. He was as proper a Vulcan as they came, and yet he found a way to be something more as well, without compromising his beliefs.
"I am grateful Chakotay spared your life, Tuvok, but that doesn't change the fact that he's a traitor, and a dangerous one." She went on to express her frustration over her latest orders, especially when she knew this last raid on L'nock would have been their best chance for capturing him. Tuvok agreed, pointing out that the Maquis would no doubt be moving their base from Meridian III as well, especially since Tuvok knew that location. Janeway asked if he had any ideas on where they might relocate, and he gave her several options.
After discussing more of what Tuvok had discovered before Chakotay had left him on Resika, Janeway assigned him quarters and posted him at Tactical. Rollins took his replacement with professional grace, although Kathryn could see his disappointment. She'd have to find a position for him, preferably another one that challenged his abilities.
*********
Tom watched Harry enter the mess hall and walk to a bank of replicators. Sitting in his usual spot, Tom had the vantage point of the entire room. Once Harry had a tray of food, Tom motioned him over to join him.
"Harry, have a seat. We really haven't had much of a chance to talk," he said smoothly, making room for the Ensign.
Harry accepted Tom's offer, slightly suspicious of his overt attempts at friendship. He'd been honest when he'd told the Captain he didn't need anyone choosing his friends for him, but at this point he hadn't had much of a chance to prove that theory. Most of the crew had been onboard for some time and had established friendships, sometimes it was hard to break into the cliques that had already formed.
"So what do you think of *Voyager* ?" Tom asked conversationally.
"It's a pretty amazing ship," Harry enthused, stirring his chili. "I'm just lucky I got assigned. It's too bad Chakotay had to join the Maquis for me to get this chance, though."
Tom smiled slightly. *Nice of the kid to give me such a perfect opening*, he thought. "So this was a pretty big surprise, him joining the Maquis?" he asked innocently.
"Completely out of the blue!" Harry continued, his lunch momentarily forgotten. "I knew he'd been called home because of his father's funeral, but I never expected this! I can tell the Captain didn't either. Man, she's looked like the walking dead for these past few weeks."
"You don't say," Tom prompted.
Harry leaned closer and whispered. "Just between you and me, I think there was something more going on than just a professional relationship."
*So, Harry likes to gossip*, Tom thought. One more point in the kid's favor. "Oh?" Tom asked, egging Harry on.
"She denied it, of course, so did he, but you should have seen the looks they'd give each other. They could have powered the ship with the current between them."
Tom had seen those looks the night of the christening. He was glad he hadn't been wrong about his gut instincts. He needed to be sure of his intuitions if he was going to keep on top of his betting pools.
"That complicates things," Tom said, referring to his point spread, but Harry took it another way.
"No kidding! I sure couldn't handle being sent to arrest my lover!"
"Harry! Keep your voice down! You don't want the whole ship to know about this, do you?"
Harry flushed with sudden embarrassment. "You're right. I don't. Do you think anyone heard?"
"No one that shouldn't," Tom replied cryptically. "I wouldn't worry about the Captain. She's made of stronger stuff than she seems."
"I was wondering about that. I got the impression you know her. Have you served with her before?"
"No, but she served with my dad twice. First on the *Icarus* then on the *Al-Batanni*. She was even in a Cardassian prison with him for a couple of days."
"Wow," Harry said, clearly even more impressed with his Commanding Officer. "That's got to be weird, serving with someone who worked with your dad."
"A little. She's been a family friend for years, along with her former fiancé, Mark Johnson. It's kind of like having your older sister being your Captain. But I respect the hell out of her." Tom said in all sincerity. "She's earned the right to sit in that chair."
"What's the deal with her and this former fiancé, anyway?" Harry asked, never having quite put all the pieces together.
"You were there, you could probably tell me!"
"All I know was she went to Indiana to make plans for her wedding, then a few days later, she's back and not another word about it. I heard through the grapevine she called it off, but no one seems to know why."
Both men were silent for a moment before they looked at each other and said, "Chakotay!" at the same time.
"Do you think?" Harry asked.
"It makes perfect sense," Tom said. Especially when I saw the three of them at *Voyager's* christening.
"You were there? How did you get so lucky?" Harry asked, clearly impressed Tom had made the party. It had been one of the most coveted invitations of the year.
"Being the son of an Admiral has some advantages," he said. "Actually, it's because I'm one of the Pilots. All the senior staff was invited. If you would have had your commission at the time, I'm sure you would have been invited."
"Just my rotten luck," Harry griped.
"Hey, if you've got such rotten luck, how come you made it on this ship against all odds?"
"You're right. I am grateful to be here." Harry readdressed his meal, taking a spoonful of the chili. Just then the doors opened and he heard Tom let out a low whistle.
"HEL-lo," he said under his breath. Harry looked up to see a woman enter the mess hall. She looked to be Klingon, but her features were softened, as if she weren't full-blooded.
"Who's that?" Harry asked, noting the glazed look on Tom's face.
"B'Elanna Torres, the Chief Engineer," Tom said. "Man, I'd like to initialize her warp core."
Harry nearly choked. Reaching for a glass of water, he took a long drink. "You're playing with fire, Paris. You know what they say about Klingons and sex."
"Yeah, I do," Tom said, a silly grin spreading across his face. He stood and clapped Harry on the shoulder, "see you later, buddy."
Harry couldn't resist watching Tom make his move on the woman at the replicator, wondering if he'd seen any of the incident reports that had crossed the Captain's desk concerning *Voyager's* Chief Engineer. If Tom didn't watch it, he'd end up the subject of the next one.
*********
Alarms blared from nearly every system on the Runabout as Chakotay barked orders to his already harried crew. Sitting next to him, working navigation and communications, Seska listed off some of the failed systems.
"Shields down to twenty-percent, warp drive is off-line. Most of our weapons have been knocked out. Chakotay, we have to get out of here!"
"I'm not leaving, not while we've got people down there!" he said, dodging the latest Cardassian phaser barrage.
"Look, I know Kurt 's one of those people stranded down there, but he knew the risks! We all do! The phaser rifles aren't worth loosing this ship over, or our others! We can come back for them! They know how to hide! They'll be safe until we can come back for them!" Seska tried to convince Chakotay that it was insanity to try to fight when they were so out-numbered and out-gunned.
"My sister's down there, too! We're not leaving without them!"
This mission had been his idea; he felt personally responsible for the lives of his crew and team. It had sounded so simple; fly in, grab the weapons they desperately needed, and get the hell out. It was a relatively obscure Federation armory; he had anticipated few problems from either Starfleet or Cardassia. It wasn't a big enough stash that either side would anticipate it attracting the attention of the Maquis. Generally the Resistance went for bigger targets, trying to make an impact with the few ships they had. Chakotay convinced them that smaller, less noticeable strikes would have the same effect with fewer casualties. The strategy had been working for them. Attacking minor installations, they hadn't met with the traditional big guns from either side of their opposition. Until today.
Chakotay had to admit that he'd succumbed to a false sense of security with their missions these past weeks. It had been well over a month since *Voyager* should have arrived in the DMZ, yet there was still no sign of the ship. Maybe Starfleet had changed Kathryn's orders and sent her ship to another part of the quadrant. He knew he couldn't be so lucky. They were looking for him, and she would be heading up the search. Starfleet would be foolish to ignore the opportunity they had, knowing he and Kathryn had worked closely. She knew more about him and his method of operations than anyone else in the 'Fleet; he was sure they would take advantage of that knowledge.
So where was she? Why hadn't they sent *Voyager* in firing first and asking questions later? He had become complacent by the lack of resistance, a situation he'd vowed he wouldn't find himself in.
And how did the Cardassians know where to find them? The armory was a two day flight from the Maquis' last strike. Chakotay purposely chose a distant target to throw his persuers off-balance, And yet, soon after they had established an orbit, the Cardassians showed up with more fire power than a typical defense force. Someone had tipped them off, but he had no idea who it was. Now he was in danger of not only loosing his small ship, but several other vessels as well. The Maquis didn't have a lot of resources, especially where ships were concerned. Those they had were patched together with mis-matched parts and a prayer, hoping to make it through one more battle. If they lost the ships, they were done for. As cold as it sounded, the people on the planet could be replaced far easier than their transports.
"Allright!" Chakotay shouted, finally capitulating to Seska's logic. "Hail the other ships. Tell them to take what ever measures are necessary to keep their ships together and head for the rendezvous point. Try to get a message to our people on the surface. Tell them it's Code Red."
Seska nodded and implemented his orders. "You made the right decision," she said as he broke off and fled his attackers. Chakotay didn't feel like he'd made the right call, but knew he had little choice.
He was even more suspicious when the Cardassians didn't pursue them. It could only mean one thing: they were concentrating their efforts on finding the people on the surface.
*********
Chakotay couldn't relax. Pacing before the fire of their make-shift encampment, he refused food or reassurance from his comrades. All he could think of was Kurt, Lakita and the others trapped on the small planetoid, no doubt running for their lives as the Cardassians hunted them down with Toskanar dogs.
"I can't stay here," he announced, grabbing his pack and heading towards the Runabout. "I can't sit here knowing they could be found and killed at any minute."
"Chakotay! You're crazy! What's one crippled ship going to be able to do? We have to wait until we've made some repairs! This is suicide!" Seska tried to argue.
"Then it's a good day to die," he said, not giving her a backward glance. He had probably saved more of his people by following Seska's earlier suggestions, but he couldn't just sit here now. His sister, best friend and ten more of his people were fighting for their lives as the rest of his cell rested in relative safety. He couldn't sit by and do nothing any longer.
"I'm coming with you!" she called after him.
"I thought you said it was suicide," he remarked.
"Yeah, well, I've always been a sucker for lost causes. This one is more lost than most."
Chakotay smiled at her sarcasm. The only trouble was, she was right.
********