Warning: contains very minor spoilers for "Fair Haven"
Disclaimer: The Star Trek universe belongs to Paramount.
The original characters contained in this work of fanfiction are the
sole and single property of me.
Feedback is always welcome, 
A Spoonful of Deception (Makes Voyager Go Round)
by ragpants, February 2000
"Sir," James's voice came clearly over the intercom, "Lt.
Papandropoulis is here to see you."
Captain Agnes Kazeen momentarily forgot she had turned off video
reception in her office and nodded. Belatedly realizing that her
receptionist couldn't see her, she ordered, "Send him right in." She
purposefully blanked the document she was working on and buzzed the
waiting officer into her office. She folded her hands calmly on the
edge of her desk and schooled her face into a neutral expression
habitual to intelligence officers.
"You've finished your analysis of Operation Moral Majority?" she
asked.
"I have," replied Lt. Papandropoulis .
"Encrypted?" she asked, reaching for the report chip her
subordinate
held in his hand.
"Level four-C security encoded."
Kazeen nodded approval and gestured for the lieutenant to take a
seat.
"Before I read the report, Georg, would you hit hit the highlights
for me? Did the trojan horse work as well as we'd hoped?"
The lieutenant's handsome swarthy face split into a dazzling grin
that made Kazeen wish she were 15 years younger and male since Georg
was an avowed homosexual. "Better."
"Success rate?"
"Something close to 62%."
"Astounding," Kazeen agreed, wondering if she could somehow
finagle the department into springing for a whole body transplant.
The Tinlac body sculptors of Alpha Beta C were doing simply
phenomenal work with forced cloning and engrammatic imprinting these
days. She'd read a copy of an internal memo from the department's
head undercover agent handler just the other day. Kazeen suspected
that very soon now it would be SOP for all deep cover espionage
plants. "Details."
Georg flushed under Kazeen's obvious approval. "Voyager's database
has been forcibly accessed 762 times by non-Federation sources in the
Delta Quadrant during the past 6 years. Of those downloads, 702, or
92% contained the targeted materials."
"Just as we'd hoped, " Kazeen beamed at her confederate.
"Precisely, " Papandropoulis beamed back. "And of those
technological civilizations who attempted to use the stolen data, 433
suffered adverse social ramifications. For example, the Kazon, who
were a fragmented society in the first place, experienced increasing
internal social chaos as groups began to hoard materials and
information, thus leading to total collapse of their space travel
industry. The Hirogen, after being assimilating the target material,
sacrificed their internal solidarity and pursuit of military conquest
as societal goals in favor of greater materialism. Martial
effectiveness was replaced by rampant consumerism."
"Thus rendering them as null threats to the Federation. " The
security Captain was all smiles.
"It gets better, " Papandropoulis confided, letting his voice
slide down into throaty intimate range. Kazeen began mentally
composing her request to volunteer for the Tinlac's experimental
procedure. "The funny forehead aliens proved especially vulnerable."
"Which funny forehead aliens? The ones that look like a cross
between an Bajoran and bagpipe? Or the ones with blue soup spoons
glued between their eyebrows? Or the ones with the really ugly
clarinet holes drilled into their noses?"
The young lieutenant frowned thoughtfully for a moment. "Does it
really matter?"
Now it was the Captain's turn to frown thoughtfully. " I guess
not. One funny forehead alien is as bad as another. I'm always
shocked, shocked, to learn that these people never invented plastic
surgery. But I digress... Please go on."
"As I was saying," the lieutenant swung a slightly reproachful
glance at
his commanding officer. "The funny forehead aliens suffered a
complete
and total societal and economic collapse as a direct result of
viewing
the target materials which they hacked out of Voyager's database.
There
is no other possible explanation for the moral decay and eventual
failure of their empire..."
"Thus rendering them null threats to the Federation's security," a
very smug Captain finished the lieutenant's sentence.
Kazeen rose from her chair and moved around her desk to lay a
gender neutral and Fleet approved 'job well done' hand on the
handsome officer's shoulder. She gave it a level 2 affectionate
squeeze before removing her hand after 9.2 seconds of appropriate
contact. Any longer would subject her to a potential claim of sexual
harassment. "I'll be sure to to give you all due credit when I hand
on the report to the Committee, " Kazeen assured her subordinate as
he move smoothly toward the door and she had a chance to admire his
ass in snug, but regulation, uniform trousers.
"Brilliant idea,Georg. Commercials. Non-participatory sporting
events. Mindless jiggle comedies. Endless, pointless soap operas.
Gratitiously violent formulaic dramas. " Kazeen snorted softly in
disbelief. " It's a wonder that Earth survived television." She
grinned ironically. "Good thing that civilization collapsed when it
did. Just imagine the mess we'd be in now if it hadn't. Bet we'd be
back to slamming each other over the head with stone clubs and
burning books for kindling."
The doors swooped closed, but not before she had a chance to see
Papandropoulis lean over James's desk and whisper something that made
the receptionist blush. Hitting on *her* receptionist on company
time. Well, maybe she wouldn't put in for that sex change just yet.
Besides she was expected before the Committee at 15:30 and it would
take the better part of an hour to expunge any suggestion that
Operation Moral Majority wasn't her idea from the records.
The End