TITLE: Letters
AUTHOR: Spookette
EMAIL: spookette@usa.net
ARCHIVE: Anywhere but please drop me a line and let me know
:)
CATEGORY: MSR
RATING: PG-13 language
SUMMARY: Mulder is undercover and Scully is worried.
DISCLAIMER: Chris owns them, I just wish he would let me
borrow Mulder. I'll return him, I promise :)
----------------------------------------------------
*Scully, I can't tell you what's going on, but I just had
to say good-bye and tell you not to worry about me. -M*
I read this note 10 times a day at least. It's been a month
since I last saw my partner. We parted one evening, just
like all the others before, and when I walked into the
office the next morning the only thing I found was this
note. I went to Skinner searching for an explanation and was
promptly dismissed with "He was needed by VCS on a special
assignment, agent Scully, and that's all I can say to you on
this matter." So now I spend all day organizing our mess of
a filing system full of cases even older than me, and all
night staring at this note.
The worst part is I know he's still close, I've felt him on
a number of occasions, watching me, checking up on me is
probably more accurate. In the parking garage at the
bureau, during a lunch break, outside my apartment, even
once when I went to visit my mother. I can feel that stare
which I have become so accustomed to, I know it's him, but I
have no idea exactly where. The fact that he can be close
enough to see me, but can't speak to me or even let me be
aware of his presence could mean only one thing. He's in
danger.
It's not like we are lovers or anything, but he is my
friend, my best friend. I have come to need him in my life,
if for nothing else just to keep me off balance. If he does
something stupid, like getting himself killed, I will never
forgive him for keeping me in the dark like this. I sure as
hell can't help if I don't even know what's going on.
Damn phone. Wasn't so long ago I enjoyed the phone ringing,
it was usually Mulder with something interesting or at least
annoying, but now each ring is a constant reminder that it
won't be him on the other end of the line.
"Scully" I answer trying not to sound quite as down as I
am.
"Scully" Silence is all that greets me.
"Hello?" Now the panic starts to set in. Is it him? Is he
hurt?
I almost scream when the silence is broken. "Scully, it's
me"
"My god Mulder, where the hell are you?"
"I can't say. I shouldn't have called, but I just wanted to
say hi."
"Mulder, are you okay?"
"Mulder?"
Christ. I cannot believe this. I have had enough.
********
"Agent Scully. Is something wrong?"
"Yes Sir, there is, may I come in?"
Skinner steps aside to let me in while proving himself not
as dense as I sometimes believe him to be.
"Scully, if this is about agent Mulder's whereabouts I have
already told you all I can."
"No Sir, you have told me absolutely nothing. I need to
know where he is and if he is in danger."
"I'm sorry, but there is nothing more I can tell you about
the situation. VCS needed him and even that was more than I
should have told you."
"Sir, if you think that I would endanger Mulder or that I
would do anything to compromise him you are greatly
mistaken."
He looks at me and just shakes his head. I can almost see
his internal struggle.
"I need to know, Sir. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important
to me."
He moves to his couch and motions for me to follow. I sit,
almost frightened of what I am about to hear. My mind
whirls with images of Mulder injured, captured, dead. These
images all go by so quickly I don't get a clear view of any,
but it's enough to make me sick.
"There have been some brutal murders recently. They are
still unsolved. We had found nothing to link the victims,
but the murders have all been so violent and methodical that
what we do know is they are being committed by the same
person, or group of persons. Agent Mulder was asked to
consult on this some time ago because of his profiling
capabilities. He did find that all the victims worked in or
frequented the same area of town. From the few clues left
behind Agent Mulder suspected that these are indeed group
actions and that the members of this group are all employed
by a company in the area. He is working undercover for said
company in hopes he can infiltrate the group and get some
hard evidence to tie them to these crimes. This is much
more than you should know, agent Scully. He is in no direct
danger, but if these people suspect they are being watched
we may never catch them, or worse if they find out Mulder is
watching them, his life could be in danger."
"But why Mulder? The bureau is full of agents who
specialize in these type situations."
"It was Mulder's hunch. Frankly he insisted on this
assignment."
"Is he still in the DC area?"
Skinner rests his head in his hands and sighs at me. The
look he shoots me is almost pity. Something in this look
reassures me that he knows Mulder can handle the situation.
I just wish that was enough for me.
"Agent Scully. I wish I could tell you more, but quite
honestly, I don't even know all the details myself. I will
promise you if there is any cause for alarm I will keep you
posted. I hope you can just trust me with this."
I want to trust him. I really do. I want to just go about
my business and know that everything is fine. I want to
strangle Mulder for yet another ditch job.
"Please let me know if there is ever any danger or anything
I can do to help Mulder with this, Sir." I say as I stand,
realizing I've learned all I will tonight.
Skinner sees me to the door, still trying to convince me
that everything is fine. When I get into my car I stop to
think. I know that Mulder is still in the area. Skinner
would have answered my question if not, but I already knew
this. I know that Mulder is not in danger...yet. I know
that I should let it go and just wait for him to wrap up
this case, but he's had long enough, I want him back.
********
I've replayed every word Skinner said to me on the way home.
Trying to figure out if there was any clue to something he
left unsaid. When I opened my apartment door I almost
slipped on the piece of paper on the floor.
*Scully, It's late October. Very exciting. Year of
unbalance -M*
What the hell???
Well, if I had any doubts that Mulder was still close to
home they are gone now. But why bother leaving me a note
that makes no sense. It's not even October for Christ's
sake.
I put my new note in the drawer of my night stand with the
first, grab a hand full of aspirin and decide to try for
sleep.
********
When I woke from the nightmare I could still hear Mulder
screaming my name. My legs were numb with fear, my clothes
sticking to me. Once I caught my breath and was sure I
could walk I sat up. In my bathroom I did my best to wash
the dream away, but that scream just wouldn't stop. 11:30
PM. Barely into the night and I had already given up any
hope of salvaging it. That's how I ended up in this damn
hole in the wall of a bar, half way to what could only be
described as 'shit faced'.
I know I should stop now while I still have some mental
capability, but I can still hear him. If I close my eyes at
this point I know that I'll see it too. Mulder, hands
behind his back, on his knees, gun to his head. And that
damn scream. I could hear him, could see him, but I wasn't
there to help. As I fight back the tears I hear him again,
but this time he sounds different. He's not screaming
anymore, in fact I can't even make out what he's saying, it
sounds more like a mumble, but that is Mulder's mumble. I
order another drink to wipe away the sound and something
hits me. I can feel that stare again.
"Yeah, I've always had a thing for redheads myself"
Oh God, please don't let this be a dream. I want to turn
around so badly, but what if I'm wrong, what if this is just
the alcohol ringing in my ears. I almost faint when a hand
touches my shoulder.
"Care to dance?"
I turn around, tears welling up in my eyes. When Mulder
sees this he looks as if I just punched him in the jaw, then
just mouths 'don't'. I take a deep breath trying to gain
some control over myself as he takes my hand and sits next
to me at the bar.
"Miss? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine" I tell him. "Just a little down lately."
"How about that dance then?"
I want to touch him so badly, just run my fingers all over
checking for cuts, bruises, chip in the back of the neck
maybe? It takes every bit of self control I have ever had
to stop myself.
"I don't know if I could even stand right now." I say half
because standing close to him right now would be way too
much for me to handle in public and half because it's true.
"Cup of coffee then?" He flashes the most Mulderesque smile
I have ever seen. And I am torn between being relieved that
he is here and screaming that I can't fall into his arms and
make him promise to never do this again.
"That would be nice."
Mulder looks over his shoulder and throws a wink to the
crowd. I turn and see three other men smiling and shooting
him thumbs up and other assorted 'attaboy' gestures. Mulder
calls the bartender over and orders us a couple cups of
coffee.
"My name is Michael." He says leaning in just close enough
for me to barely feel his breath against my skin. It's now
I decide that I'm definitely not dreaming.
"Dana. Nice to meet you Michael" I try not to laugh as
this situation suddenly strikes me as the kind of ridiculous
thing that seems just right for Mulder and I to be in.
"Dana huh?" He chuckles at me. "Pretty name, but I wouldn't
have picked you as a Dana myself."
Just then I think I smiled for the first time since I read
that damn note. The note, the other one. My mind starts
whirling. "Late October?" I ask so quietly I barely even
hear it myself. Mulder heard me loud and clear though and
this brought a Cheshire cat grin to his face. He leaned in
close to me and whispered in my ear.
"Sometimes it's what you don't understand that amazes me."
I start to ask again and he cuts me off, changing the
subject quickly.
"Did you drive here tonight?" The smile he's been holding
is replaced by a look of concern and I instantly miss the
former.
"No, I was out walking and just sort of ended up here." I
smile at him hoping his own will return. And it does.
We make small talk for about ten minutes, saying so much
more with our eyes than our words. One of the men Mulder
was with walked over and said something in his ear. Mulder
looked at his watch, then at me.
"Do you live far from here?" He asks me wiggling his eye
brows and I almost laugh out loud.
"No, just about 3 or 4 miles"
"How bout if you let me borrow your car and I can meet you
guys back here in a few minutes? I'd like to make sure my
lady friend makes it home okay."
The man grins at him, looks at me and hands Mulder his keys.
"Chivalry isn't totally a thing of the past I suppose." He
says with a wink.
"Your chariot awaits ma'am." He offers me a smile and his
arm. I accept both and follow him out the door and down the
street to a late model Chevy parked on the curb. Mulder
opens the door for me, helps me strap in and walks around to
the driver's side.
"I'm gonna kick your ass, Mulder" I say before he even makes
it all the way into the car.
"Name's Mike" He says as he starts the car.
"October?"
Mulder laughs at me. Full throat laugh. I have yet to be
let in on this joke, but he is contagious and I can't keep
from laughing myself. In far to few minutes we reach my
apartment building. Mulder comes around the car to open my
door and help me out. He walks me to my door in silence.
As I look down, fiddling with my keys the words "I miss you"
escape me before I even realize it.
Mulder puts his hand on my back, moving it slightly and
simply says "I know". I turn to him, burying my head in his
chest, no longer able to hold back the tears. I feel
Mulder's arms wrap around me and it feels so damn good. "I
wish you could stay" I manage to say between sobs.
"Me too." I can hear the shakiness in his voice. He kisses
me on top the head and gives me a good tight squeeze. "I'm
sorry, Scully, I need to go."
I can't even look at him. I open the door, walk in and
close it all in one motion. My legs cannot take me any
further than there as I slide to the floor and let my tears
escape without a fight this time. I must have cried for
almost half an hour before picking myself up and walking to
my bedroom.
After debating whether or not dressing for bed would be too
much effort, I decided to find the basketball jersey of
Mulder's I had somehow ended up with. My bedside table
caught my eye as I turned and next thing I knew I was
studying that second note. What was too obvious? I read it
over and over, read it backwards, tried to scramble the
words. Nothing. Then it hit me, had been right in my face
the whole time. How could I be such a fool.
*It's Late October. Very Exciting. Year Of Unrest.*
*I L O V E Y O U*
I would have sworn that I was out of tears. I was almost
shocked when I felt the first one run down my cheek. Then I
felt a dull pain in the back of my head and everything went
black.
********
My hands are tied. My neck hurts. I wonder how long I've
been sitting here with my head hanging like this. My head
hurts so bad I can't even think about opening my eyes. I
can hear voices coming from another room though.
"What the fuck are we going to do with her?"
"How did you end up nabbing a fed? Dammit, this is NOT
good."
"The new guy in accounting was hitting on her last night. I
lifted her wallet and we went back to get her after we
dropped him off."
"You didn't notice the big gold badge? Hell, Chris, what
were you thinking?"
"We were all pretty soused, I don't know. Shit"
"We gotta talk this over with the guys. Go make sure she
won't be able to move if she gets up before we get back."
I let my head drop back down and did my best to steady my
breathing. I knew this was one of the men Mulder was with
last night. My captor came in the room. He checked that my
hands were tied tightly, tied the rope between them to the
back of the chair and fastened my ankles to the legs. He
lifted my head for a second, then let it fall back down and
walked out. I lay there still until I heard a car motor
start and the sound drifted away.
My eye lids felt like 50 pound weights, but I forced them
open. A whole bunch of nothing. One door, one small window
painted black and this chair that I'm sitting on. My eyes
scanned the room looking for anything that could help me get
free. Nothing. Why did I go to that bar last night? Why?
And what screwed up chance of fate brought Mulder there?
How could I have not noticed my wallet was gone? Shit if I
had just taken a cab back home I would have noticed when I
had to pay. More and more questions coming at me all at
once. I need to figure out how to get out of this, not how
I got into it.
I have got to get out of here. If I do, this is quite
enough evidence for Mulder to bust his new friends. Damn
it. The way he tied my ankles to the back legs of the chair
I can't even get enough leverage to move. Oh God. Mulder.
He's going to blame himself for this. He loves me. Christ,
why now? I've got to get out of here. I've got to get to
him.
By the time I heard the car pulling up I was no closer to
forming a plan than when they left. I held my breath when
the door to this room opened and shut again. I didn't think
there was anyone still in here, but was scared to look.
"She's still there. Hasn't moved an inch"
"Well I say no big deal. We do her just like the others, so
what if she's a cop."
"What about Mike? Think he knows she's FBI?"
"What difference does that make?"
"What if she told someone about him? How much did she know
about him? If she told one of her cop friends about him and
they come snooping around that brings the heat way too close
to us."
"Fuck, man, you are paranoid. Plus as fast as he was back
after bringing her home last night she must have blown him
off pretty hard. I don't think the annoying guy at the bar
is exactly who women go yacking about right away. Hell we
should do him a favor and let him get the first cut."
"Oh sure, hey Mike, we're gonna kill that bitch from last
night, wanna help?"
My God, they are laughing. What kind of sick people am I
dealing with here. They are talking about murder like it's
some kind of joke.
"So midnight we take her out, hit the park and the hunt
begins?"
"Yeah, tonight's the night."
"I don't know guys, she's a freaking fed. We should just
get her out the way, no games."
"Man, she's probably a paper pusher. Look at her. You
think the four of us can't take her?"
I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard the squeal of
the phone. Damn I want my phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey man, what's up?"
"Tonight? Maybe. We'll have to make it an early one
though. I got myself a late date tonight."
"Ha, yeah, think you can strike out before 11:30 or so?
Took you a while last night."
It's Mulder. It's got to be Mulder.
"HELP!" I scream louder than I thought physically possible.
The door flings open instantly and two of the men who were
with Mulder last night and another I don't remember seeing
come running in and cover my mouth.
"Just the TV" I hear the man on the phone say. I recognize
him as the one that gave Mulder the keys last night.
"Yeah, man, I'll talk to you later. I have some things to
take care of before tonight."
After he hangs up the phone he points it at me.
"You think you are smart bitch? Gag her with something."
The men let go of me to do as instructed.
"So you're FBI huh. Doesn't look like that will do you much
good now."
"Why me?" was all I could think to say.
"I don't know, hon. You were there, you were too gone to
notice when we picked your pocket. You were easy. Gag her"
"Ya know. Maybe if you had been a little nicer to my pal I
might have let you off. I'm just sick of people with no
compassion for others."
That was the last thing said to me before the men all left.
It's been hours. The more time that passes the closer it
gets to midnight. My mind starts wondering about this
'game' they have planned. Will I be able to get away? If I
could just get to a phone.
I ran scenarios and possibilities through my head for a
couple more hours. What they could have planned, how I
could get to some help. The door swung open and two of the
men from earlier came in. One put a black case over my head
while the other untied my feet and hands from the chair.
They left my hands tied to each other behind me and pulled
me onto my feet. I felt the cool night air hit me then I
was pushed into a car. The radio was loud, it didn't sound
like any of the men were speaking. One of them was holding
my head down into the seat and one was tying my ankles
together. As far as I could tell we had driven a good 45
minutes before the door was opened and I was thrown out.
"We'll be back soon enough bitch" and car tires was all I
heard, then dead silence. I hadn't been laying there for
very long before I heard the footsteps. I wanted to scream
out, knew this was it. I held my eyes closed as tight as I
could and tried to picture good things. Running after my
brothers. Playing with my sister. My father teaching me to
drive a boat. My mother helping me into my dress on prom
night (my date helping me out of it). Mulder smiling at me.
The circles I drew around that last note that revealed the
hidden message.
Just as I steadied myself for whatever was coming I heard
more footsteps. There was a struggle from the sound of it.
No one said anything but I did hear a few "umphs" and
"ughs". Then it just stopped.
I struggled against my restraints to no avail until I heard
more people coming. At least two this time, maybe three.
When they got close I heard the struggle again. This time I
heard one of the men holler something, it was one of my
captors.
When the sound stopped I started pulling fiercely at the
ropes holding my arms and legs. My adrenaline level
unbelievably rose even higher than what it had been for the
last hour or so. It felt like I was going to pull my hands
right off my arms, but I had no idea what was going on or
how long before they stopped toying with me and just
finished the 'game'. I felt the rope cut my wrist and just
then sensed it. Sensed him. Then I heard him, quietly in
my ear.
"Scully, stop. Relax. Trust me."
There IS a God.
Just then I heard more footsteps coming my way. I couldn't
tell if Mulder was still by me or not. Then when I heard
the voice I knew he wasn't.
"Looks like I get first cut, bitch." For some reason this
made me smile into my gag. I just wish I could have seen
his face when...
"Hey, Ben. Whatcha doin?"
"Mike? How'd you get out here, man?"
"Want to tell me what you were planning on doing?"
"Hey, man, what's going on?"
And I heard it so clear I might as well have seen it. Heard
that hand meets stomach sound echo through the night.
"You set your sites on the wrong person you sonofabitch."
I could hear them fighting, rolling on the ground, heard
each make sounds of pain. Then I heard Skinner.
"That's enough agent Mulder, we need him alive for the
trial."
My hood finally removed I could see the men who had been
holding me. They were all cuffed and surrounded by agents.
The one who had been on the phone with Mulder earlier was
being lifted onto his feet. He was one bloody, bruised
mess. As a doctor the thought of one human being doing this
to another repulsed me. As someone who had been held
captive by this monster I had to hold back the urge to smile
at the site. Mulder untied my gag and started working on my
arms and legs.
"How did you find me?"
"I tried to call you this morning. Then this afternoon I
heard you scream over that phone. I knew it was you,
Scully. I wanted to kill him right then and there. I
called Skinner and the SAC for this case. We followed them
out here."
As soon as Mulder freed my hands I started hitting him. Oh
yeah I hit him. I hit him with everything I had. He just
smiled though, grabbed my arms and pulled me into him. I
lay my head into his chest and breathed him in as deep as I
could.
"Don't you EVER pull another ditch like that again." I said
with as much force as each blow I had delivered.
"Shhhhhh, I'm sorry, Scully, I'm sorry."
I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. I wasn't
about to let go. Even when I heard Skinner behind us
clearing his throat.
"Agent Mulder, your shoulder is cut, we need to get you to a
doctor. And we will need a statement from you, agent
Scully."
"No, Sir."
"Excuse me, agent Scully?"
"No, Sir." Mulder and I say in unison this time.
The silence that followed was tangible. We stood motionless
for a few minutes. When I felt Mulder's lips come to rest
on the top of my head I swear I almost moaned. I wrapped
myself even tighter around him.
"Agents?" Damn, didn't Skinner leave YET?
Mulder lifted his head to answer and I missed it already.
"We have some things to wrap up first, Sir. I already have
the doctor I need and you will get agent Scully's
statement."
I didn't turn to look at Skinner, but I could picture his
face clear as day and couldn't hold back a laugh. Mulder
pulled back a little and I reluctantly loosened my hold on
him. He looked down at me and motioned with his head that
it was time to go. He took my hand and led me through the
trees to the road.
"I know a horrible place where we can get a cup of coffee."
He said. "I met a beautiful woman there last night, she
wouldn't dance with me though."
We stopped outside the car and he just looked down at me,
into my eyes. Neither of us were willing to break the gaze.
"Mulder"
"Hmmm?" It sounded more like a purr than a question. I
don't think I have ever heard a grown man purr.
"I love you too."
I couldn't help but smile at my own proclamation. I saw a
tear start to form in Mulder's eyes and reached up to wipe
it away, then amended my statement.
"But I don't want to have coffee or dance with you right
now. I just want to go home?"
He looked more than a little disappointed, but opened my
door for me, got in and started the car.
"Mulder" I said fighting back a smile.
"Yeah, Scully?"
"Your home."
I was rewarded with that Mulder smile that lights up the
night as the car pulled away.
"Yes ma'am."
END
(
geocities.com/area51/quasar) (
geocities.com/area51)