TITLE: StaticElectricity
AUTHOR: Cutter241@aol.com
RATING: Heavy R/light NC-17
CLASSIFICATION: MSR
SPOILERS: Nothing specific
DISCLAIMER: NO infringement on anyone's rights is intended
DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere, just let me know where
SUMMARY: For once, different minds are thinking alike.
FEEDBACK: Would just make my day, Send to Cutter241@aol.com
Authors notes and thanks following story at the end.
Part 1 - Scully's Lament
Scully writes in her journal.
1 Jan 00
I drive by his apartment often enough. Sometimes, I go for months
without thinking about him and then I'll have a vision so strong it must
be real. Occasionally, he's alone in the kitchen with a glass of milk
in his hand. The light from the stovetop reflects off his hair;
absently he stares out at the rain-darkened night. Other times, he's in
bed, glasses propped on the end of his nose, his knees up to his chest,
absorbed in his work; the light from his bedside lamp halos him and I
watch as he goes about his life. Once I saw him look up and off to the
distance. His brows draw together and I feel ashamed of my
eavesdropping. I look in on him and he doesn't see.
I love him, and he doesn't know.
Over the years I have watched him. I've seen him change in good ways
and bad. I've watched him laugh and I've heard him cry. He used to
have a really wicked sense of humor, I loved hearing him throw his head
back and roar with laughter. He doesn't do that anymore. Now he just
seems quiet, broken, damaged. I worry about his spirit. Everybody has
one and once you lose yours one-way or another you die. The things he
needs the most I can't give him, he has to find it for himself. I find
this so frustrating. It's impossible to teach someone how to love
himself. He has always looked to others to give to him what he can't
find within himself. I can attest all to well to the fact that no one
can love you unless you love yourself first.
There's a fragile beauty within him. It cries out to me. He is
probably blissfully unaware that I know. Beneath his surface, I see a
loving, kind and passionate man, a man not afraid to simply be himself.
He's lost so much, his sister, his father, his mother. Now there's no
one left, but him. And me, well I just watch and wait. I do a lot of
praying, but God doesn't seem to have much to say these days. I don't
understand why people, ok, Mulder has to have so much sadness in his
life. Isn't he allowed to have any happiness?
Mulder is damaged. An odd word is "damaged". Not like the front fender
of a car, that can be repaired. "Damaged" in the sense of the word that
goes down to the psyche and eats at the soul. Outwardly his body is
fine but his spirit has been broken into pieces. Individually I can see
how the parts don't fit. They overlap here and over there they don't
touch at all. There is quiet dignity to his defeat. If I listen very
carefully I can hear the undertones of sadness in his voice. Without
even thinking about it I catch myself turning an inner ear listening to
his casual male confidence and being strangely comforted by the
throbbing undertones in his voice.
Three years ago at a FBI Christmas party he touched me. With a single
inward glance, I can feel his hand on my back. He's sitting on the arm
of a chair in front of a fire, talking with a colleague. A single touch,
and every other person in that room was gone. I can still recall how his
hand spread across my back, his fingers on my shoulder blades. It was
strong and fearless. Did he feel me melt in that instant? All there
was in the world was his hand on me. In a few seconds that were a
lifetime it was over; I've never been the same since.
They say it's better to have loved and lost - what a confabulation! I
can't tell him of my feelings and I can't ask him about his. It would
destroy me to find that he never thinks of me beyond our work. Or, for
him to know that I never stop thinking of him when our work is done.
I can feel a day of reckoning coming; it scares me.
Scully paused; she stared thoughtfully off into space. This journal was
her only outlet for emotions she could physically feel - a pain in her
chest with sensations coming to full force. She was ready for a change,
any change that would give her release and allow her to go back to her
life. Now and then there was the palpable sensation of frustration
shimmering behind her eyes, a scream in her throat looking for release.
There were times, Scully was convinced she was going insane.
Abruptly Scully slapped the covers of her journal together with a
frustrated snap of unspoken things. She stood up and restlessly paced
the room. Scully spied her car keys on the table; she snatched them up
and headed towards the door. A drive would clear her head. She decided
to swing around Mulder's apartment. She found it gave her thoughts
peace to drive by Mulder's place and know he was safe.
~~~
Mulder stood in the kitchen glass of milk in hand. Absently he stared
out at the wet night. The panes of glass reflecting the video he'd left
playing in the other room. Damn, that looked like Scully's car. He
pushed the blinds apart. Hard to say for sure all cars look the same at
night and he couldn't really tell who was driving. He continued to
watch as the car turned left onto Moore. Nah, it wasn't her. It was
straight for 2 more blocks before you took a right to go to Scully's
place.
He let the blinds flick back together and considered giving her a call.
Maybe he'd ask her what she was wearing. Maybe Scully would tell him.
MAYBE, she'd even be wearing what the girl on the video was wearing.
Not that what little that girl had on could really be considered an
"outfit".
~~~~~
Part 2 - Mulder's Longing
Mulder wandered into the other room and settled into his battered
recliner. He'd found it laying by the side of the road some time back.
It was old, cracked and patched with duct tape in several places. Many
a time had Mulder walked into his apartment, seen that chair and
thought: here I am, beaten and maimed. Held together with nothing
stronger than duct tape. He snorted, duct tape, had Alexander The Great
had duct tape he probably could have conquered the rest of the civilized
world.
"Scully, what a surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you tonight."
Mulder found a half smile, half smirk forming. He covered it by rubbing
his face and acting like he was waking up. She stood in the doorway and
looked at him. No trace of emotion on her face.
She was dressed comfortably. Jeans, a white pullover T-shirt.
Sneakers on her feet. Sneakers! When was the last time he'd ever seen
her in anything but sensible heels and a professional length skirt?
Mulder caught himself wondering if anything else was coming between
Scully and her Calvin's.
Scully raised her right hand and Mulder found himself staring at the
small white expanse of skin that was showing between her shirt and
jeans. The glint of silver caught Mulder's eye and he looked up to see
Scully, her face still void of feeling, dangling a pair of handcuffs
from one finger.
Mulder thought he was going to faint. His head felt so light, so very
light. In the unbearable lightness of being, he laughed silently to
himself. Mulder crossed his arms and leaned to the left trying to prop
himself in the doorframe. He missed completely, landing in the floor
with a thud loud enough for the neighbors two floors down to hear. He
mutely berated himself for being so ineptly suave.
Mulder propped himself up on one elbow. Standing over him was a goddess
on her mountaintop. Scully placed one sneakered foot on his shoulder
and pushed him flat on the floor. Speaking to him for the first time
since he'd opened
the door.
"Mulder, I'm going to make you scream!"
Scully gave him a small half smile, raised her eyebrow and swung the
handcuffs back and forth.
Once again Mulder found the room spinning!
Scully stuck her hand out to pull him up and Mulder briefly considered
pulling her down to the floor with him. No, she'd blindly followed him
many times out of nothing more than faith. This time he'd follow her.
She pulled him up and the Mulder found himself being shoved face first
against the wall.
Scully growled at him, "Spread those legs and put those hands up high
where I can see them."
Her hands roamed up and down his body. She was frisking him! He'd been
searched many times before but never like this.
"Oh my God!" his mind screamed, but all he could audibly manage was a
very low moan.
Scully slowly trailed her right hand over his jeans, pausing briefly to
squeeze Mulder's behind, before continuing down. Feeling his body
through the texture of the clothes he was wearing.
Mulder closed his eyes and concentrated on the feel of Scully's hands
on him. Gentle and soft. He was radiating heat and it had nothing to
do with just being on a Stairmaster. 'He' was hot!
His hands shook as she cuffed him, first left then right. He ached to
touch her! She was so beautiful! His need for her astounded him in its
sudden and unbridled ferocity.
Scully began to pull him towards the bedroom.
The ringing phone interrupted Mulder's attention.
"Damn."
He guiltily swung around, his eyes darting left and right.
He found himself where he'd been all along, in that old chair, the phone
on his desk by the window shrilly ringing off the hook. He lurched up
and across the floor and snatched it up.
"Mulder," he croaked. Boy was he really professional tonight!
"Scully," Mulder hoped he didn't sound guilty. "Yeah, what, ok, see you
in a bit, bye."
He hung the phone up and decided he'd better take a quick shower first.
He shook his head clearing it of the last vestiges of his reverie.
It was a good thing Scully couldn't read his mind. Otherwise he'd have
some real explaining to do.
Head down, deep in thought he headed towards the bathroom.
~~~~~
Part 3 - Scully Ka-Ching!
As Scully walked up the stairs to her apartment, her mind spun with
unspoken desires. She hoped the exercise would take her mind off of her
emotions.
For the first time in her life there were no rational explanations for
what she was feeling. Certainly Mulder had never given her any signs of
wanting her. The few previous times they'd come close to anything there
had been some huge emotional upheaval. Scully tried to pinpoint what
might have triggered this current round of inner turmoil. The only
remotely plausible thing she could come up with is that Christmas, such
as it was, had just come and gone.
She popped her key into the lock and let herself in.
"Home," she sighed.
But what was a home without….she shook that thought away and idly
wandered over to her desk. Reaching into the bottom drawer she pulled
out her journal. She flipped through, reading as various passages
jumped out at her.
13 Feb 99
You don't have to tell me what you've been through. I can see it in
your eyes and I can feel it by my reaction to you every time you are
near. I want to wrap myself in your essence, kiss you until you're
breathless with desire, and touch you until you're dizzy with
anticipation.
31 March 99
You have no idea of the emotions you unleash in me. Would you be
surprised if I told you? Sometimes I think you already know. My life
is in limbo and I don't know which way to turn.
22 April 99
Once in awhile I want to go to you and tell you what I'm feeling. But
I'm afraid that it would destroy those last remnants of goodness that I
see in you, me and everything in between. How bad could that be when
the alternative is so much worse? To see the light go out of your eyes
forever and know it was because of me.
Scully put her journal back and walked over to the phone. She stared
thoughtfully into space, her fingers resting lightly on the phone. To
make no decision is to make a decision she reminded herself. Hesitantly
at first then with more confidence than she felt she dialed Mulder's
number.
On the other end she could hear his phone ring, Scully was ready to give
up when Mulder answered. She closed her eyes and quietly swallowed.
"Mulder, hey I was wondering…", her voice trailed off.
Quietly Mulder waited on the other end. He listened to Scully's light
breaths and considered how to respond to her unspoken question. He had
waited a long time for THIS phone call, and had many times considered
making it himself. Now here she was and he didn't have a clue, up was
down, left was right and Mulder was speechless.
The silence wove itself into a rope of desire and Mulder found himself
being pulled in.
Scully began to talk again; finishing the question she had begun.
"Mulder will you come over?"
She left it as an open-ended invitation which allowed Mulder to
interpret it any way he wanted and giving her a way out if he wasn't
interested.
Mulder knew what Scully meant and what she wanted. Hard on the heels
of this insight was the fact that he wanted the same thing she did.
Whatever complications arose from this new dimension of their
relationship they would handle together.
"I'll be right over." Mulder replied and hung up the phone.
"Well," Scully lightly laughed to herself, "That is that".
Mulder was on his way and she felt the thrills of expectation.
Scully got up and went to the bathroom. She stared into the mirror for
a long time before picking up her hairbrush and stroking her hair.
~~~~~
Part 4 - Mulder Sha-Wing!
Mulder tapped on Scully's door.
"Just a moment." She called out.
Nervously, she checked her reflection in the mirror. This was as good
as it was going to get. She took a deep breath and swung the door open.
Scully gave Mulder a small half smile and beckoned him into the room.
"I'm glad you came."
Mulder ambled in and looked around. As usual her apartment was pin
neat. No lighted candles, no incense, no soft music in the background.
He wondered if maybe he'd misunderstood Scully's intentions and she'd
invited him over to discuss work.
He wandered over to the window. It had stopped raining, but dark clouds
still scudded by high overhead. Off in the distance he could see
lightening and hear the rolling echo of thunder. Silently he counted
the seconds between claps. The storm was coming this way.
Mulder closed his eyes and surrendered to the luxury of feeling Scully's
presence nearby. He caught himself listening for her breaths.
"Mulder?" she queried.
"Hmmmmm?" he responded.
For a second there was silence.
Mulder sensed that whatever she was going to say was going to be
replaced by something rational and logical. He opened his eyes, turned
to Scully and gave her a bemused smile.
"What?" he raised his eyebrows encouraging her to continue.
Scully moved towards Mulder and clasped his hand in hers. Soundlessly
she stared at the floor. Her vibrant red tresses hid her face from view.
Mulder raised his free hand. He was not surprised it trembled slightly
as he began to stroke Scully's hair. She leaned into his caress; his
hand felt cool against her flesh.
In a silent room, of a silent apartment on a silent street, time stood
still.
Outside the storm continued its approach. Gathering fury like the
wrathful rumblings of an angry God. Clouds of deep black, purple and
blue pushed against one another. Lightening, dazzling white in its
purity fractured the air. Still the rain held back, watching, waiting.
Inside Scully's apartment a storm of desire continued forth in its own
momentum.
Scully raised Mulder's hand to her lips. She lightly brushed his
knuckles with her mouth before turning his hand over and softly kissing
each of his fingertips. Her lips were satin soft and a slow inward
shudder went through his body. Mulder felt a vein begin to pulse on the
side of his head.
The weather continued its forward march. On a now deserted street the
wind picked up. It shook the traffic lights, making them dance like
puppets pulled by invisible strings.
Mulder placed his index finger under Scully's chin and tilted her head
up. Wordlessly, they considered one another. Through a fringe of
red-gold, eyes of deep ocean blue regarded eyes of blazing autumn brown.
Unbidden the old saying "blue eyes never lie" came to Mulder; within the
depths of her eyes Mulder saw his future and it was all good.
Slowly Mulder lowered his mouth to Scully's. She tasted of summer fruit
and warm lazy days. He allowed himself to sink into that kiss, closing
his eyes as her scent enveloped him. Within her kiss was the promise of
all the days to come and Fox Mulder believed.
Scully returned Mulder's passion with a growing need of her own. His
every touch was answered with one of her own. Mulder sank to his knees
and wrapped his arms around Scully. She ran her fingers through his
hair and down his back, pausing at the base of his spine to grab his
shirt and pull it off over his head.
Mulder looked up at her, "Scully, I…"
She shushed him gently putting one finger against his lips.
"Mulder," she breathed, "show me love."
Without another word, Mulder swept Scully up into his arms and carried
her to her bedroom.
"I won't hurt you," he said. The hallway was dark and fearful of doing
just that he shoved the door open further with one foot.
He stopped.
There on her dresser stood a single lighted oil lamp. He caught a faint
whiff of freesias, as he gently placed her on the bed.Mulder laid beside
Scully. Gently, he outlined her face with his hand. Slowly he traced a
finger across her eyebrow, down her nose, pausing at her lips, feeling
the ragged intake of her breath across his fingers. Mulder's erection
was swift, he shifted putting a few millimeters between him and Scully,
afraid this evening would otherwise come to a premature end.
Scully smiled knowingly, her eyes crinkled impishly at his very obvious
situation. Slowly she reached up and trailed her hand across Mulder's
chest, stopping only to brush her fingers lightly across his nipples
before continuing a leisurely path down across Mulder's stomach. Scully
teasingly feathered her hand down Mulder's leg halting at his knee; her
hand rested there for a moment before she began dragging a single
fingernail up the inseam of Mulder's jeans.
Scully's every stroke was incendiary. Her touch a barely restrained
fiery liquid love and Mulder was ready to go down in flames.
"Scully," Mulder said, "W…w e have to stop for a moment or this is going
to be a very messy situation."
Scully bared her teeth, before throwing a leg across Mulder and
straddling him. She cupped his head with her hands and oh so slowly
grazed Mulder's face with her lips.
"I" she kissed Mulder's closed eyes, first one.
"Should." Then the other.
"Certainly." She nuzzled down to Mulder's nose.
"Hope." she moved lower to Mulder's lips, taking one then the other in
between her teeth.
"So." Scully kissed Mulder full on the lips and gently ground her hips
against his lower half.
Mulder surrendered, giving everything to Scully without a second
thought.
His hands roamed over her breasts, pausing to discover she wasn't
wearing a bra. He pulled her shirt off and scooted out from underneath
her, intent on getting the rest of her clothes off. Scully arched her
hips as Mulder eased her pants down; her anticipation as obvious as his.
Mulder left the bed long enough to pull the rest of his clothes off.
When he was as naked as Scully, he stood above her a humorously evil
glint in his eyes. He threw back his head and beat on his chest
emitting a loud war cry. Scully, laughing delightedly, reached her arms
out and drew Mulder to her.
With a roaring howl the storm vented it's rage. A bolt of white-hot
light struck the transformer outside Scully's apartment. Sparks
showered down and plunged the neighborhood into darkness.
Inside, cries of passion mingled with the furious rampage of the wind.
Rain lashed against the windows. Within Scully's bedroom love created
its own shield to defend its occupants from the insidious dark murmurs
of their minds and the outside lashings of the storm
Gradually the tempest slowed, then stopped. The clouds began to part
and a full moon continued its path across the sky. Quiet descended on
the neighborhood. An occasional breeze rustled through the trees.
The lamp on Scully's dresser had long since burned out. Underneath the
covers of her bed, bodies entwined, she and Mulder dreamlessly slept as
one.
End
~~~~~
Author's Notes: My deepest thanks to my beta reader Mary and the Beta
Readers Circle for giving me great guidance.
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