Title - Switched
Author - Donna
Email address - donnah@pop.uky.edu
URL - www.oocities.com/Area51/Quadrant/4571/
Rating - NC-17
Category - MSR
Spoilers - Series through 6th season
Keywords - MSR, angst
Summary - What if you wake up one morning and everything's
normal, except everyone you know?
Feedback - Please I think...
Disclaimer - Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunman and Skinner all
belong to Chris Carter,10-13 and Fox. No infringement intended
Switched
Mulder spotted her across the room, her arms laden with files of
some kind. He angled toward her, avoiding people and desks
until he was right up with her. "Scully, need some help?" He
was practically leaning over her and leering in her ear. She
didn't respond, veering into an empty cubicle and emptying her
arms onto the desk.
"Can I help you Agent?" She looked up at him, not a trace of
warmth in her expression.
"Agent? You mad at me Scully?" He now took in her body
language, definitely not in a friendly mood. What had
happened? He searched his memory quickly for what
transgression he might have committed this time. He stepped
closer.
"Excuse me?" She backed away one step and he realized she
was in no playful mood.
"Scully?" He took her upper arms into his hands. "Are you
okay?"
"Get your hands off of me." She hissed this at him, glancing
toward the entrance of the cubicle to make sure they were
unobserved.
"Scully, what?" His concern for her was growing rapidly and
caused his hands to tighten on her shoulders. His complete
trust of her causing him to miss all signals of danger to himself.
He was completely vulnerable to her when her knee made
contact with that most sensitive of areas and his hands were no
longer holding her, protecting instead his violated manhood as
he bent double with the pain. No words emerged; he was trying
too desperately not to lose the small breakfast he'd eaten this
morning.
She stepped around him and turned. "You have five minutes to
recover and get out of my area. If you're not gone, I'll press
charges." And she was gone from his sight.
No longer able to stand, he sank gingerly into the chair and tried
to recover his breath. What the hell? He'd done nothing to
warrant this. Hell, he couldn't recall anything that would cause
this kind of reaction from her since they'd met. His five minutes
were almost up and he didn't doubt she was somewhere close
by watching the clock to make certain he emerged on time. No
way he wanted a repeat of what had just happened. It was a
good thing he'd never planned to have children, she'd probably
made that a moot point anyway. Damn!
He managed to regain his feet and walked with what he hoped
looked like a normal gait to the elevator and headed for the
basement.
Once in his office he sank into his own chair and tried to decide
if an ice pack would aid his recovery. He didn't bother to boot
up his computer or even glance at the papers scattered on the
desk. His mind was running over the encounter this morning,
what had set her off? She'd been okay yesterday, so whatever
it was had happened after they left here. She had left for home
before he did, and her car was gone when he finally made it to
the parking garage. Did something happen at her apartment?
Not that involved him, and he hadn't called her and woken her
during the night, so she shouldn't be ticked at him about that.
Of course "ticked" didn't quite cover it.
He saw the door opening out of the corner of his eye and
turned, ready this time to defend himself. He was not, however,
prepared for Diana to walk in.
"What are you doing here?" He asked crossly.
She hesitated just inside the door. "Well, good morning to you
too partner." And came on in, removing her coat to hang beside
his.
Partner? What the hell was she talking about?
"Word has it you tried your charm on the Ice Queen this
morning. A little word of advice, Fox? Stick to the secretarial
pool, they don't have the same hand to hand combat training."
Her eyes showed her hurt, but she didn't comment on it and he
had no intention of getting into this with her.
When he remained silent, she proceeded on to the other desk in
the room, which in his battered state this morning he really
hadn't processed, and sat down. She booted up the computer
and reached for a file on top of what seemed to be her desk.
"What's going on here?" He demanded, turning to face her for
the first time.
"That should be my question, Fox. What's wrong with you this
morning? If you're hung over again, don't expect sympathy
from me."
"Hung over?" He looked at her stung. He didn't drink, maybe
he had some back when they'd been together, but since he'd
teamed up with Scully he hadn't had more than a beer or two a
month. And that usually with Scully over pizza while they were
arguing a case. He stuck to ice tea now and had for years.
"Listen, I don't care what you do in your spare time anymore
Fox. Could we just get down to work?" This was obviously a lie
on her part, but he didn't want to pursue it now. Scully was top
priority and - was that it? Did she think he had requested Diana
to work down here? He had been completely surprised when
Diana had entered the office. Scully knew better, but for
whatever reason she seemed to have a blind spot where Diana
was concerned.
Since Diana didn't seem to have any intention of leaving, he
decided to try to get a little work done himself. He'd give Scully
some time to cool off and then try to find out what had set her
off this morning.
He quickly realized that Scully was not the only thing that was
"off" this morning. He didn't recognize a single file on the desk
as he began to flip through the paper surrounding him while he
waited for his computer to come on-line. He glanced over at
Diana, but she was working, head down, obviously ignoring him
and still in a snit.
Sure, fine, whatever. He turned to his email to see if he could
glean any information from it. This was only getting worse. He
didn't even know what cases were being referred to in the
messages he was receiving. Maybe this was some elaborate
practical joke, no too elaborate and Scully would never injure
him for the sake of a joke. He couldn't be asleep, not with the
ache he still felt in his groin. Okay, keep your mouth shut and
try to figure this out.
As he read on he found himself becoming fascinated by the
information he was looking at. These cases had been
sanctioned? He was startled out of the file he was studying
when Diana stretched and rose from her chair. He'd forgotten
she was there.
"Lunch?" She turned to look at him.
"Is it that time already?" He glanced down at his watch. "Uh,
no, I'm caught up in this, I may grab something later."
She shrugged and left, he could still feel her irritation with him
but he didn't really care. As soon as he heard the elevator close
he was on his feet and pulling open the files. It wasn't there;
there was no file with Scully's name on it. Someone had taken
it, but why? Samantha's was still there, but as he continued
looking he noticed several files missing from the drawer. The
ones missing were the newer ones, just in the last five or so
years. But there were lots of files that he'd never seen before.
They didn't look new, whoever had done this had gone to a lot
of trouble to make it look good.
A quick survey of the remaining files showed that all mention of
Scully had been removed. The new files only listed Agents
Mulder and Fowley as agents of record. She'd called him
partner when she entered the office this morning. He thought
she was just yanking his chain, trying to get a rise from him
especially after the debacle this morning. Now he wasn't so
sure.
In order to give himself a chance to think he wandered upstairs
and found the lunch cart, snagging a sandwich to take back to
his desk. He found that he had wandered close to Scully's
cubicle, at least where she'd assaulted him this morning and
walked past to see if she were there. She was, her back to the
entrance, eating her own lunch at the desk.
He wanted to speak, to get her take on what the hell was
happening. No, now wasn't the time and face it, one `nad
smashing a day was his limit. He'd try to get more information
on his own, then bring the evidence to her, but not here and not
now.
Reluctantly he returned to his own office and continued his
solitary investigation.
*****
He'd debated with himself long enough. He needed to talk to
Scully and he needed it to be private. Get out of the damn car
and go knock on her door, the worse thing she can do is not let
you in. Or maybe knee you in the balls again, either way you
have to try.
The knock was followed by a lengthy wait; she'd looked through
her peephole and seen who was there. He was sure of that.
Did she have company? He knew her car was here, but she
could be out on a date or . . . The door opened and an obviously
annoyed Agent Scully stood before him.
"How the hell do you know where I live and how dare you come
over here uninvited?" Cold as ice, her nickname was certainly
well deserved now.
"Could I talk to you for just a minute? Please."
"There are plenty of other women you could be pestering right
now, because if you came here to get laid - "
"Geez, Scully! That's not . . . can I just talk to you for few
minutes. I'm not here to hurt you, I swear."
Her eyes narrowed and he knew his entry was a flip of the coin
right now. He kept his expression bland, any entreaty on his
part would seem like a come on to her. Finally she sighed and
stepped aside to allow him entrance. "Have a seat." She
gestured toward the couch.
He gratefully sank into his seat, not exactly sure where to start.
"Well?" She was giving no quarter, having taken the chair
farthest from him. He knew she never sat there, this was only to
put distance between them.
He took a deep breath. "Scully, how do you know me?"
"I don't know you, except by reputation." Short, clipped, this
was probably going to be a very short conversation.
"Yeah, `Spooky' Mulder, chasing little green men?"
She waved her hand to dismiss that, "I was actually speaking of
your reputation among the women at the Bureau."
"I have a reputation with women?" He was silent for a minute.
"Me?"
"If this is some sort of weird come on, it's not going to work."
She said dryly.
"No, no. Look, I came here to ask you a few questions.
Please?"
He did look earnest about whatever he was here about. And
she was a little curious, men like Fox Mulder didn't often have
the nerve to do something like this around her. Finally she
nodded. "Go ahead and ask."
He looked her in the eye, she'd never noticed his eyes before,
they were attractive. She'd always been too busy dismissing his
body and the way he enjoyed displaying it to the females
downtown. His words however, brought her back to attention.
"Do you have any memory of ever being my partner?"
"What? Do I . . . is this some kind of sick joke? Did someone
put you up to this?" She was rising from her seat, he knew his
next move would be out the door.
"No, Scully this is not a joke. I'm lost and, shit. I'm sorry I
bothered you." Now he rose from his seat, his defeat evident in
his posture.
Despite her distrust, this didn't look faked. "Agent Mulder, what
are you talking about?" He certainly looked lost. In spite of
everything she'd heard about this man she was intrigued. He
was either a damn good actor or he really was upset about this.
"Sit back down Agent Mulder. I need a little explanation about
that question. Would you like something to drink?" That
surprised even her, she certainly hadn't planned for him to be
here that long.
He looked up at her, his gratitude evident in his face. "Do you
have any ice tea?"
Ice tea? Fox Mulder asking for ice tea? Well, she had heard
that over the last couple of weeks he hadn't been seen out
drinking or even hitting on the female personnel. This visit only
added to the strangeness.
She returned shortly with two tall glasses of ice tea and handed
him one. She couldn't resist, "Not exactly the beverage I would
have expected you to request."
"Is that my reputation now too?"
Now? What did he mean? He saw the confusion on her face.
"Nevermind."
"Go ahead with your questions Agent Mulder."
"Could you call me just Mulder, please?" She nodded. "I guess
this all started a couple of weeks ago, that day I followed you
into your cubicle and you . . . " She nodded. "I apologize for
grabbing you that day, I would never . . . " He ran his hand
through his hair not sure how to get into this story.
The man was sexy, the tousled hair didn't hurt any at all. She
forced her attention back to the business at hand. This must be
how he did it, looking so damn vulnerable.
"Everything went to hell that day, Scully. I woke up at my
normal time, had a bite to eat, drove to work and came upstairs.
I spotted you lugging that huge pile of papers and went over to
see what you had and if I could help. And you . . . you didn't
want to have anything to do with me. I couldn't for the life of me
figure out how I had made you so angry, then Diana shows up
in our office and - "
"Our office?"
"Scully you were my partner when I left work the day before.
We'd been partners for nearly six years. I have a photographic
memory."
She nodded, she'd heard about it. He was phenomenal when
he was hot on a case, remembering every detail of every case
with even a hint of similarity.
"I have a memory of six years with you as your partner, working
with you, coming over here and sharing pizza working at this
very table. You've been to my apartment a thousand times. We
were close, Scully. I . . ." He looked up into her eyes. "Not like
that, we never, we were friends Scully. Best friends, you knew
everything about me and I knew everything about you. We
solved cases the Bureau didn't even want solved. We were
damn good together and now I seem to be the only one that
even remembers that it ever happened."
She spoke softly; he seemed sincere, but . . . "Is this how you
do it? Is this how you get all the women in your bed?"
He suddenly looked tired, "No and I don't remember getting any
women into my bed. I've waited for you for six years instead."
Was he kidding? What kind of a comment was that? He was
smooth anyway, she had to give him that. "You've been
partnered with Diana Fowley for years. You two had a thing
going for a long time I heard, after that you started playing the
field, but you stayed partners. I always wondered how that
worked out, how you managed to remain friends."
"My memory doesn't include us being friends. She tried to
come between the two of us and . . . You think I'm crazy don't
you?"
"I honestly don't know what to think. I know that you and Diana
have the same ideas about what you do, the cases you take."
He gave an unamused chuckle, "You know I always thought if
you'd only agree with me a little more things would be easier.
Having someone who never questions me is worse. I don't feel
like I have to work for it anymore. I'm not as good. I have a
very vivid memory of telling you that you kept me honest, made
me a whole person. I'm not that now, not without . . . You don't
remember any of this. I'm sorry I bothered you." He rose from
the couch. "Thank you for the tea."
Should she stop him? He wasn't making sense, but he hadn't
made any untoward moves. He truly seemed lost. Alone. She
rose also, "I'm sorry Mulder. I wish I could help you, but
I don't . . . "
"It's okay. Thanks for not calling the cops and having me
hauled out of here. I'll see you around the office."
"Mulder, what kind of disagreement are you looking for about
your cases?" He had his hand on the doorknob now. She
almost smiled at the look of eagerness that lit his eyes.
"I need the scientific slant. What if there is a mundane solution.
That's not going to come to me automatically, I reach for
extreme possibilities. I need someone to bring me down to
earth, make me prove my theory. I don't need everything
handed to me, if I can't prove it, then maybe I'm wrong."
"Diana doesn't do that?"
"She's more out there than I am." He snorted, "I don't
remember her being that like when we were together." He
caught her look, "I mean the way I remember things. Some of
the work we've done that I've checked on since this happened is
downright sloppy. I can't believe it passed the AD. Unless . . ."
"What?" He'd gone far away suddenly.
"Unless that's what they want. Let us do a half-assed job, let
everyone who knows about the X-Files have a good laugh.
We'd be less expensive that way and they'd have shut me up by
letting me think I was - "
"That sounds rather paranoid, Mulder."
He grinned at her. "That's the first thing anyone's said to me in
weeks that sounded familiar."
She couldn't help responding to his smile. He was a damn
attractive man. "Look, if you really need someone to give a hard
look at something about one of your cases, why don't you email
me the details. I'll look it over and see if I can help."
"Are you serious?" He reached for her hand and stopped
himself before he could touch her. "Sorry, I used to . . . sorry."
He might look like one, but he certainly didn't act like a lady-
killer. He acted like a geek, kind of, and he seemed shy. This
did not seem like the man she'd heard all the stories about.
Maybe he was different when he drank. But he hadn't tonight,
not a drop except the tea and she was sure he'd been sober
when he knocked on her door.
*****
She felt more energized than she had in years. She wasn't
letting these new cases interfere with her `real' work, but the
stuff Mulder was bringing her, the debates with him, made her
feel alive. She hadn't realized that she was beginning to just go
through the motions, now even her regular work was benefiting
from this sideline.
She had to admit she was a little miffed at his continued
insistence that her involvement be kept completely confidential.
She was beginning to get used to his paranoia and even teased
him about it on occasion, but she had not been able to budge
him on this one issue.
She was in the ladies room reapplying her lipstick when the
door opened. The two women that entered didn't bother to see
if anyone else was in the room.
"I swear he's going to have a heart attack if he doesn't calm
down and I'm ready to help it along. It is illegal to push your
boss out the window, right?"
"Yes, especially one of the windows here. They might catch
you, unless you leave evidence of course." The other woman
snorted. She had as much respect for the abilities of
management as the rest of the staff. "What's wrong with him
today?"
"Oh, it's those damn `X-Files'. Ever since Mulder sobered up
apparently he's turning in work that they can't dismiss anymore.
You know how they used to get together and laugh, well they
ain't laughing anymore and they're beginning to get angry. No
one expected him to do this kind of work, he never has before."
"I thought Diana was supposed to keep him off track."
"Me too. But now he seems to be keeping it in his pants and
staying sober. The female staff are devastated, but not as
much as the fifth floor."
"Come to think of it, I haven't heard of him seeing anyone lately.
You don't suppose there really is anything to those old files? I
thought it was just sop because of his father's position in the
state department."
"Oh no, he's bright, top of his class at the academy. You know,
it's almost as though they were afraid of him. I imagine that's
why he was paired with Diana. I know they used to use to her
thwart investigations they didn't want . . . well, you know." For
the first time the women realized they might not be alone.
Scully had already moved into one of the stalls, not closing the
door, but staying back out of sight.
"I don't see anyone. We better get back to the desks. He'll
explode if he needs a paperclip and I'm not there to disentangle
one for him. You know, I hope Mulder does uncover whatever
they're so upset about. I'd rather work for him, even sober, than
the old man."
The two women left the room, still gossiping. Scully allowed
herself to slide down onto the seat and try to gather her
thoughts. Maybe Mulder wasn't so paranoid after all. And just
because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get
you.
She waited a good five minutes before emerging from the ladies
room and even then found her hands were shaking when she
pulled up her email. Was it safe to send him an email? Were
they watching them both now? Or had her involvement
escaped notice so far? Damn, she felt as paranoid as he
always seemed.
She quickly disengaged the signature from the bottom of her
email and sent Mulder a quick note to meet her at her apartment
at noon. She pretended to work, moving around papers until
she felt she could slip out in the lunch crowd without being
noticed. He was waiting outside her door when she arrived.
"I always wanted to be invited over here for a nooner Scully."
He leered at her.
"Were you followed?" She ignored his comment and he
straightened up from where he'd been leaning against the
doorframe. She was frightened.
"Scully? Are you okay?" She had the door opened now and
rushed him inside, closing and locking the door behind them.
She then went to the window and proceeded to view the street.
He watched with growing concern and finally approached her.
She jumped when he put his hand on her arm.
He immediately released her and stepped back. "No, it's okay,
Mulder. I just, I overheard . . . "
"What? Does anyone know about you working with me?"
"No, no I don't think so. But I think maybe you were right." She
proceeded to relate what she had overheard in the ladies room
to him. She watched his face go carefully blank to hide what he
was feeling. "Mulder?" She didn't remember sitting on the
couch, but that's where they were and she was now holding his
hand. She could practically hear the thoughts racing through
his brain.
"Well, now we know why the sloppy work was tolerated so well."
He tried to make his voice light, but she already knew him better
than that. It felt like she'd always known him. She could
already input his half of their debates without much trouble. She
said nothing, just allowing him to fondle her hand and think his
own thoughts for a moment.
"I think I should revert to my old ways for a while, Scully.
Reassure the powers that be that good `ole Spooky Mulder is no
threat to them."
"Yeah," she said softly, "and the women at the Bureau have
missed you a lot."
"Not that!" His hand tightened over hers, "The drinking Scully, I
was talking about the drinking. The other, that was never me in
the first place. I don't want . . . Scully, I don't want
anyone else. But I can't let anyone know how I feel about . . .
you wouldn't be safe."
She absorbed this in silence, the relief she didn't want to admit
making her positively weak. "Mulder, I think maybe you better
tell me a little more about the relationship you and I were
supposed to have that I don't remember."
He nodded. A few weeks ago she wouldn't even have considered
listening to this. His influence was again leading her to the dark
side and he smiled grimly. "I'm not sure how much of this you
want to hear."
"All of it. Everything you remember."
"But the memories can't be real Scully. My father's still
alive, you were never missing those months from your life.
You've never heard of Duane Barry. It's all false and couldn't
have happened."
"Unless this isn't real." She countered and without thinking he
drew her to him. When she didn't protest he held her even
tighter.
"Its real enough Scully. And I'm putting you in danger again. I
should have known better than to involve you. That's just the kind
of selfish bastard I am. I want you in my life so much that I
. . . I better get out of here."
"No!" Now her arms tightened around him. "Why are you so sure
I'd be in danger?"
"Experience. Scully because of your relationship with me you
were abducted and returned to me in a coma after being away for
months. Your mother had life support removed, that's how close I
came to losing you. Then you found an implant in your neck and
the removal of it caused you to develop inoperable cancer." Her
eyes were wide, he'd been through all of this with her? "Another
implant caused the cancer to go into remission. These people
who don't want me to expose them always go for where it hurts
the most. For me, that's you. Scully," He was fondling her hand
again and wouldn't look her in the eye. "In my reality your
abduction, the tests they performed on you, caused you to be
sterile. You can't have children. I don't want any of that
for you. I should never have gotten close to you. You're much
better off without me. At least this time they don't know about
you. I'm going to keep it that way. Thanks for the help you've
given me, but this is it. Don't contact me, it's over." He dropped
her hand and rose from his seat.
"The hell it is, Mulder!" She was on her feet too, eyes flashing
with fury. He drew back, not the reaction he was expecting. "If
you think you can dump me like last week's bimbo, you're not a
bright as I thought."
"I'm, I'm not dumping you. I'm trying to protect you."
"You don't think I'm capable of that Agent Mulder?"
"Not against these people Scully. If they find out why my work
has become respectable the players in this reality might not cut us
the slack they did in the other one - they might just kill you
outright and I can't handle that."
"What if we took more precautions, they don't know about me."
"Not good enough and we can't ever be sure. The work isn't
worth it, it isn't worth you." She had no answer to that. She
watched his eyes as he took her face in his hands. He was going
to kiss her. He hadn't made any moves toward her before. To
her surprise and, she realized, dismay, he tilted her head and
pressed his lips against her forehead.
Then he was gone, slipping out the door before she could collect
herself enough to react. He was leaving her, getting out
of her life to protect her. No! She didn't want him out
of her life. Oh good lord, she was falling in love with
him. Hell, had fallen in love with him. He couldn't
just vanish from her life. What could she do now?
*****
She was watching for him when he came in the building the next
morning. He looked like shit and was obviously hung over. She
didn't approach him and he refused to acknowledge her.
Scully watched knowing nods and comments trail him to the
elevator and several secretaries actually preened as though
congratulating themselves that Fox might be back on track. She
felt a nearly overwhelming urge to scratch some eyes out.
She stalked to her cubicle and attempted to shut this out of her
mind. She was totally unsuccessful and finally admitted that after
a couple of hours. He could kill himself drinking like that,
especially now that he wasn't used to it. She stood up in her
cubicle and grabbed her briefcase, actually kicking her trashcan
on the way out. That caused several people to turn and look at
her, but the expression on her face froze all comments.
*****
He trudged toward his door. He'd only had a couple of beers
tonight; last night had done him in. He'd have to get back in
practice or at least learn to pretend to drink better. Oh, who gave
a rat's ass? Certainly not him.
He opened the door, kicking the newspaper inside but not
bothering to pick it up. "You're late."
His hand automatically drew his gun without conscious thought
before he realized it was her. "What the fuck are you doing here!
I thought I made myself clear."
"Oh you were clear enough, Agent. I just don't happen to agree,
so tonight you hear my side."
"What if someone saw you come in here? How did you get
here?"
"The metro and then a taxi. I was careful Mulder."
"You don't get it, you don't know what danger you're in!"
She ignored that comment. She hadn't bothered to rise from the
couch and now he loomed over her. "Get out of my apartment."
"The way I see it," she spoke as thought he hadn't, "we're
destined to be together. In your reality we built up a
relationship, friendship, whatever you want to call it over time -
growing closer, counting on each other. In this reality it's
taken a lot less time but I feel closer to you than anyone else I
know, anyone else I want to know. Maybe you think you can walk
away from that - I can't."
"You don't have a choice." His voice was low. He pulled her to
her feet and his hands now gripped her shoulders as though he
would physically throw her out. Her hands were flat on his chest,
but not pushing him away. He realized he was focusing on her
lips, bending down toward them and they most amazing thing was
that she was moving toward him as well.
When their lips met he felt a surge of energy like he'd never even
imagined possible. He had her pressed up against him now and
felt her mold herself to his body, her arms wrapped as tightly
around him.
When they separated slightly for a breath. "I think you're right
about one thing Mulder. We don't have a choice."
He just looked at her, absorbing her words. Then she had control
of his lips again. "Scully. Scully, I can't . . . "
"Yes Mulder, you can. I'm not leaving here." The anguish on his
face almost changed her mind. He was that frightened for her?
"Mulder, together we can -"
"Together is how we're most vulnerable. I should never have
kissed you."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't think I can stop." That caused a smile to begin
to form on her face. "What did you mean you weren't leaving
here?"
She could feel her face heat up at his regard. "I meant we
needed to discuss this more thoroughly. You needed to hear my
side. I didn't . . . I wasn't . . . " Mulder was just
staring at her. "Say something."
She thought for a moment that he was going to cry. Instead he
took a deep breath, "I don't know if I can be strong enough to
push you away. Maybe I should wish to be switched back to my
own dimension and not have to deal with this. That Scully
wouldn't want to get this close to me after everything I've done to
her life and your real Mulder wouldn't be a danger to you."
"And neither of us would be as fulfilled or happy?"
"I was happy with the other Scully." Her eyebrow rose. "Okay, as
happy as I could be under the circumstances. Damn it Scully!"
He drew her to him again. "You'll ruin everything if you care
about me."
"Then everything's already ruined." She stated simply, enjoying
the feel of him around her. "I want to stay here tonight." He drew
back at that, gaping at her. "Is the idea that repugnant?" She
finally asked, embarrassment beginning to grow at his continued
silence.
"You want to stay here? With me? Scully, I'm not sure what that
means."
She swallowed, this was so far outside her normal way of life. But
her life had been upside down since this man had come to her
and asked for her help. He'd made her a whole person, made her
work exciting again, and now had made her want him as a man.
She straightened her spine, she might as well jump in with both
feet. "I want to make love with you."
For an instant she thought he would bolt and run. She could feel
her self-confidence develop a leak and start to deflate rapidly.
"Scully." She could barely hear him. "Don't let me be dreaming.
Please don't let this be a dream."
"It's not Mulder." She said gently. Her hand was again on his
chest, this time pushing him down on his couch. "You willing to
listen to me now?" At his nod she sat beside him.
"I'll be careful, and you can do your drunk act. But look at things
Mulder, in both realities we end up together. Bow to the inevitable
and let's learn caution from what we know. Don't push me away
Mulder, we need each other."
He closed his eyes, as much to block the sight of her as anything.
No choice. If he hadn't approached her, gotten her help, would
they still have found each other somehow? It was certainly
beginning to feel like it. She sat silently waiting for
him to come to the same conclusion she had. He was fighting it
more, but she wasn't willing to lose this battle. There was
something inevitable about all of this. They belonged together -
cosmically. She wanted to laugh at herself, she didn't believe that
kind of thing, except . . . nevermind, she'd study that phenomena
in her spare time.
Right now? Right now she was with Mulder. Enough said. She
pulled him down as she reclined on the couch, enjoying the
weight of him on her body. When she became aware that her
blouse was untucked and several buttons unbuttoned she moved
under him until she was at his ear.
"Do you have any protection?"
"What?"
"There's no indication in this reality that I'm sterile."
His face sobered immediately. "Oh god, I hadn't . . . I don't even
know my own sexual history."
"Then we should use caution, we should probably both be tested.
But not tonight. Tonight I don't want to be practical or even
sensible. I want to be with you."
He closed his eyes. This was a mistake, but how could it be?
This was Scully and she wanted him. He almost felt sorry for that
other Mulder trapped on the other side. Then she had his lower
lip between her teeth and the higher functions of his brain shut
down. Lack of blood flow no doubt. He was positively aching for
her. It had been so damn long.
She was thinking the same thing as he ground himself into her.
She hoped she could remember how to do it, but she was pretty
sure he knew. In fact she was willing to put money on it now that
he had her blouse open, biting tenderly on her nipples through the
lace. Then that barrier was gone and he was laving her breasts
with his tongue. She was whimpering; it wasn't enough. She
wanted, no she needed, more of him.
He understood, since he felt the same and raised his head to kiss
her lips again before rising to remove his tie and shirt. He had a
beautiful body. She couldn't keep her hands from it, smiling
slightly at his hiss when her fingers brushed his nipples. She
trailed her fingers down his chest slowly as he tried to remember
the art of breathing. When her hand reached his waistband he
grabbed it. "Scully, it's not too late."
"Mulder, it was too late the moment we were born." Since there
was no response to that he let go of her hand. She unbuckled his
belt and pulled it slowly from the loops. He knew then that his
control was gone, given completely to her.
She unbuttoned his slacks and carefully lowered his zipper, a task
made more dangerous by the second. He stood to allow her to
lower his slacks and boxers to the floor. What he didn't expect
was her luscious lips closing around him. He had to grasp her
shoulder and the back of the couch to remain upright.
"Scu -"
"Just relax Mulder." He wanted to close his eyes, to concentrate
fully on the sensation, but he needed just as much to watch her,
to see Scully do this with him. The hand on her shoulder moved
down taking her breast in his caress. Her lips tightened as she
took as much of him in her mouth as she could. He tried not to
thrust into her mouth as she alternately sucked and tortured him
with her tongue. Her hands were now fondling his balls and he
knew if he didn't put a stop to this and now, it would be too late.
He gathered his strength and retreated from her. "No, no Scully."
"It's okay. I want to." He shook his head and drew her to her feet.
"I want in on this." His hands under her arms lifted her to stand
on the couch, where she clutched his shoulders as he lowered
her slacks. When his hands grazed the elastic on her panties he
looked up at her.
She nodded at him but still he hesitated. "Mulder?"
He laid his head gently against her stomach. "Oh Scully." She
placed her hands over his and helped him lower the damp silk.
He pulled her against him, burying his face between her breasts,
then taking turns kissing them, nuzzling them.
"Mulder, I think we need to find a bed." He nodded in complete
agreement, knowing he'd burst if he didn't do this soon. He lifted
her into his arms and carried her into his bedroom, laying her
gently on his bed.
He started to pull back from her and she grabbed him. "Please."
"The protection." She nodded with her eyes and he moved to his
dresser. When he returned she reached for it.
"Let me."
"Not yet."
"Yes Mulder. We can play later; right now I need you. I need to
feel you in me."
He drank in her eyes, quenching his soul for the first time ever.
He allowed her control again and shuddered as she sheathed
him, twitching in her hands. She pulled him to her, over her,
taking over his mouth, dueling with his tongue as he took in the
taste of him in her mouth.
She had hold of him again as he nipped at her breasts and moved
down, forcing her to release him as he sucked at her navel.
"Mulder." She was pleading with him now; she wanted him so
much she would beg? Oh god.
He came back to retake her lips and she began guiding him
where she longed for him to be. She brushed him through her
curls as she stimulated her own juices with him. His size
unnerved her, but at the same time she knew he would never hurt
her.
She brushed that bundle of nerves again and his fingers joined
the fun. Now Mulder, damn it or she'd die from sheer anticipation!
He sensed her need matched his own and slowly began entering
her. She tensed for a second, then released herself to him.
Whatever he wanted was his. She arched to bring him deeper,
wrapping her legs around his waist.
"Oh Scully." His last coherent words as he began to move slowly
in her. She had been created for this, for him. He couldn't
imagine ever leaving her body. It was where he belonged. Long
swift strokes bringing him deeper each time, burying himself in
her, never to be unearthed again.
With a gasp she was coming, convulsing under him, around him,
throughout him. He lost all senses except where she existed,
thrusting once, twice and then joining her in whatever galaxy she
had led him to. Knowing that she would understand his cries
though the rest of the world never would.
He lay spent watching her leaning over him, her fingers trailing
through his chest hair. She looked up at him. "What?"
"Ice Queen?"
She blushed slightly. "Now that you know I'll have to kill you."
"I think you already did."
"Oh I don't know. Part of you seems to be resurrecting
itself fairly rapidly."
"You're kidding, right?"
"Oh, I'll give you a little time to reload, but not long." He just
stared at her, wide-eyed. Scully?
She stayed the night; her excuse was that it was better not to be
seen coming and going too much. Yeah, sure, whatever. Just as
long as she was here with him.
*****
What the hell was he doing in Viola, Idaho with Diana? He
wanted to be home with Scully. Dangerous thinking, but honest.
This was no X-File, Diana had found it. No doubt it was
sanctioned to get him out of town and away from any real
investigating he could do.
Diana slipped into the chair beside him, back from the ladies
room. "Fox, you really should try to be a little more diplomatic
with local law enforcement. We do need their help. Cordiality
wouldn't hurt either."
He almost yelped as her hand wrapped around his thigh and
squeezed. "Damn it Diana. Stop that." He pulled her hand from
his leg and literally threw it down on the table in front of them.
The look on her face was anything but friendly. He was acting so
differently. Her superiors were furious and she had to find out
what had happened.
He moved his chair farther from her and finished his meal in
silence. He rose as soon as she finished her last bite. "Let's get
back to the motel, I want to go for a run." I need to, is what he
should say. His body had reverted to being seventeen and
hormone overloaded again just being with Scully. The run would
be better than a cold shower.
He returned to the room following his run much more centered
and relaxed. It wasn't as good as being with Scully, but since that
wasn't an option . . . He was half way across the room, headed
toward his bathroom when he heard her.
"Fox? I don't mind sweaty men. Come here." She was on his
bed, Diana, lying there nude.
"What the hell are you doing in here? How did you get in?" He
knew he'd made sure the connecting door was locked on his side.
"Come on Fox. It's seen a long time for both of us. We used to
be very good at this."
He was standing there looking at her, appalled. What had he
ever seen in her? His body felt no hint of arousal. She was
watching him, becoming more and more uncomfortable. What
was going on, he'd always been turned on by nudity. Now, now it
looked as though he loathed her. She quickly drew her robe up to
her and slipped it on.
"Fox," He almost corrected her. Mulder, he went by Mulder, but
then he realized that's what Scully called him. He didn't even
want to hear the word from her lips. "What is it? We've been
together for years, we're partners. What's going on?"
"I grew up, Diana. I couldn't stay that immature forever and I
grew up to everyone's apparent dismay. Get out of my room."
"You don't mean that."
"Believe me, I mean it." He held the door open for her and stood
by it as she walked out. He threw the bolt at the top and checked
the connecting door again. Never again! If he ever had to travel
with her again they would not have connecting rooms. He
headed for the shower, feeling dirtier than he had when he'd first
returned from his run.
He came back in the room with a towel around him, drying his
hair. God, he wanted to talk to Scully. But it wasn't safe. He
couldn't contact her when he was out of town. If something like
that were traced they'd be on her in a minute. Damn! He
stretched out on the bed after pulling the spread off and tossing it
to the other side of the room. He didn't even want to lie where
she'd been.
How many years had she been betraying him? Going behind his
back to make certain that his investigations were meaningless.
Well, the other Mulder's investigations, but he was here now.
He'd never trust her again.
The next morning he knocked on her door, dressed and ready. "I
just wanted you to know I'm headed back for Washington.
There's no X-File here. I'm packed and the car's loaded. Do you
want to go or ride to the airport with me to bring the car back?"
"Fox? What are you talking about? There's possible abductions
going on here. We need to - "
"Nothing is going on here beyond possibly a high school hoax.
There's no evidence of a real abduction and I have work to do in
DC."
"Fox." She reached out to place her hand on his arm and he drew
back. Her eyes grew icy, "Fine. It'll take me a few minutes to
pack and we can fly back together. Do you want to call the sheriff
or shall I?"
"I already have, to let him know I was leaving. If you want to let
him know you are as well, fine. I'll wait in the car."
He turned and walked away from her without another word.
She seethed in the doorway for a moment, then slammed the
door and went to pack. Her superiors were going to go ballistic.
She was supposed to keep him out of town for several days.
What was going on with him? He was sober and as far as she
could find out not seeing anyone. That made no sense. He'd
never gone this long without a woman and she was willing to bet
without a drink as well.
Fine, if he didn't want to work on her investigations, she'd make
him hers. Something drastic had changed and she had to get to
the bottom of it. He was becoming too dangerous to keep
around.
She made two phone calls before joining him in the car. She
hadn't been completely honest about why they were returning
early. She had to protect herself. She also wanted more freedom
of movement to find out what was happening.
After a couple of days she was fairly certain if he was seeing
anyone she didn't work at the Bureau. He was being such a good
boy. Mildly flirting with almost every woman but no sparks with
any of them. He was going home every night, unless he was
drinking there, and that didn't seem likely. He'd never wanted to
be alone, hence the bar and the women. After they had drifted
apart he'd always played the field, which was fine with her. He
wasn't tied to anyone and they had remained partners and
available to each other.
Now, after the fiasco in Idaho she was positively embarrassed to
be around him. A feeling that was very foreign to her. He'd pay
for it. No one treated her this way.
*****
He couldn't wait to get home. She should already be there
waiting for him. It almost made ignoring her in public worth it,
especially since he did it visualizing her nude. He was all but
whistling as he approached his door.
He let himself in. She hadn't started dinner yet; good he wanted
to help. Well, actually he wanted to watch her. It was so
domestic. Who would have thought that could be erotic. He
tossed his keys on the table and headed for the living room
loosening his tie.
He stopped dead still at the entrance, all movement frozen.
Scully was there, in a chokehold, being held tightly by Diana.
Diana's weapon pressed firmly into her side.
"Look what I found in your apartment Fox. You know, she even
had a key."
"What are you doing here Diana?" This was bad, this was
incredibly bad. He had to get Diana talking.
"You sure I'm the one you should be asking Fox?" While he
searched for an answer she continued, "I think I've figured out
what's going on here. Somehow this icy little bitch caught your
eye. I didn't know you liked `hard to get' Fox. You should have
said something. The problem is, I think you've gotten her
involved in our work. That explains what you've been doing.
You could get us both killed like this lover. We had a great gig
going, we were together when we wanted, you got to be involved
in the work you're so good at. Okay, you were often off track, but
you were enjoying yourself."
Enjoying yourself? He'd been drinking himself into a stupor every
night and hopping from bed to bed. Enjoying himself? "Let her
go Diana. She doesn't know anything about our work."
"I'd like to believe that, but I can't. There's a lot of
women I could believe it about, but not this one. Being with her
changed you." Her grip tightened around Scully's neck and he
made an involuntary move toward her.
"See Fox? You care about her. A fatal mistake, you would have
remained better off with me. No strings, good sex, you blew it
Fox."
But he wasn't looking at her any more. He was watching Scully's
eyes. She loved him; Scully loved him and would follow him no
matter which way he wanted to handle this.
Diana felt her chest tighten. They were communicating! Even
now while she held a gun to the woman they were
communicating. Damn them both. "Enough! Fox, I'm doing this
for you. It's the only way I know to save you."
The explosion from her gun paralyzed him for a millisecond, then
he watched Scully crumple in slow motion to the floor. "No!" The
word was ripped from him and he leapt at Diana.
He couldn't let her get a second shot at Scully. The older woman
was strong, and she was well trained. They grappled for the gun
and Mulder jerked violently as it went off again, waiting for the
pain. It didn't come and finally he looked in Diana's face. She
was so stunned. He saw her lips form the word "Fox" as she
sank toward the floor.
Mulder stepped back, letting her fall and turned to Scully. A
pulse, there was a pulse. He jerked the phone off the table and
demanded help for Scully. He left her side long enough to find a
towel and after ripping her blouse open and away from the
wound, pressed it to her side to staunch the bleeding.
"Scully listen to me. Help is on the way. You have to hang on,
Scully, please. You've got to hear me." His free hand was
caressing her face, willing her to respond to him.
Then the paramedics and the police were all over the place. The
police took him aside and though he answered their questions his
eyes never left her. He barely spared a glance when they
covered Diana with a sheet though he heard them call for a
second ambulance to transport her body.
"Look, I don't know what set her off. When I got here both women
were already here. Agent Fowley was holding a gun on Agent
Scully. She was talking out of her head. After she shot Scully, I
struggled with her, the gun went off. Now I have to go to the
hospital."
"We have a few more questions."
"Fine. You know where you can find me. Check out your
forensics and then get back to me."
He walked out the door and was already at a run before slamming
out into the night. He raced to the hospital and burst into the ER.
"An Agent Scully was brought here. I need to know where she
is."
"Uh, yes sir. Dr. Brody was with her. Just a second."
She left the desk and he stood there, trying to keep his hands
from shaking. Where the hell was she?
"Excuse me, are you here about Agent Scully>'
He turned instantly. "Yes. How is she?"
"And you are?"
"Agent Mulder." He had his ID out. "Please, how is she?"
"I'm sorry Agent Mulder. We couldn't . . . the bullet did too much
damage. Agent Mulder?"
He was staring at the doctor. The words didn't make sense.
Where was Scully? Why were they keeping him from her? He
pushed past the doctor. He had to find her.
"Agent Mulder, please." He wasn't able to stop him. A nurse
came out from behind the desk.
"Should I call security?"
"Maybe you better." He followed Mulder who was now checking
the third cubicle as he moved down the hall.
"Scully?" He sounded breathless. Then he was beside her,
taking her hand. Oh god, she was cold. She shouldn't be so
cold. He was massaging her hand trying to warm her, not
speaking. Not even sure that he could.
"Agent Mulder, is there anyone I can call for you?"
"She's not dead. She can't be." He shook the doctor's hand off
his arm. "She can't be!" He turned back to her as two security
personnel entered the area. The doctor motioned them back.
"She can't be." It was getting dark, as though he had entered a
tunnel, one from which he would never emerge.
*****
Where was he? It was cold. Then memory hit him like a
sledgehammer. Scully. Scully was dead. Why was he still alive?
Why hadn't Diana killed him as well?
He heard a door open but grief held him immobile, not even
bothering to open his eyes. It didn't matter, nothing mattered
now.
"What happened to you? Oh god Mulder, why did you change?
The drinking, the women. Were you trying to get killed? Did you
just give up? What am I supposed to do now? How do I live?"
He'd thought he was dreaming her voice. What? He opened his
eyes to see the red and swollen eyes of Dana Scully, tears
glistening on her face. She jerked back, her eyes impossibly
wide. Her mouth moved but no sound emerged.
"Scully? You're alive?"
That forced air back into her lungs. "Me? Mulder what the hell is
. . . you were . . . you were . . ." And she sank toward the floor.
"Scully!" He was off the table, just beginning to realize
his nudity. When he ensured himself that she had only fainted he
draped the sheet that had covered him around himself and
thought to look around. A morgue? He was in a morgue and she
had thought he was dead. Was he back? Was he back to where
Scully was alive? They had a lot to talk about, he wondered if she
would listen to him this time. And, he smiled, how long it would
take to get her back into his bed.
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