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 How To Be A Gorean Master - as taught by a slave On a recent Saturday morning, having spent a difficult week at work, I decided to sit down at my computer for a few hours of "self-time." Instead of heading to the Silk & Steel tavern and spending my time in fellowship, I thought I might browse a few websites and engage in some intellectual pursuit of things Gorean. I found some interesting tidbits, and eventually came across the following post in a newsgroup:
There are two kinds of love as far as I'm concerned, conditional and unconditional.. We need to always be loved unconditionally in our everyday lives and tasks w/ our Masters.. We need to know that if we burn dinner or let a red shirt end up in the white wash that he will still love us.. those things are not a part of our submission, that is just life in general.. most of use, are very capable of running our own lives, and wish to do so w/out fear of discipline for minor life mistakes.. to me, that is unconditional love, "I will love you even though you can't make spaghetti sauce the way my mother did." But, the second kind of love, conditional love.. that is where we as submissives need to know that we do have a responsibility to our Master, that our overall performance, attitude and actions are something we will be accountable to our Masters for..conditional love is our D/s lives we live.. we, as subs want to earn that love.. that is part of us being a submissive.. we need to know that if we are not pleasing for whatever reasons, that we will be held accoutable for that.. and that we do risk any, and all forms for punishment, and/or discipline.. anywhere from being put in the corner for an hour, to be released.. Please Masters/Doms, let us *earn* that love from you, but always love us for who we are in our daily lives.. "I need a Master that will *respect* my submission." I am a submissive, but, I am also a human being.. I might even be a mother to children, I am a friend to my friends, and I am a daughter to my parents.. there is more to us than just being a submissive.. we need to be respected as women, as your friend, your lover, and maybe the mother to your children.. But, those are things that are outside of our D/s relationship.. Inside our relationship, we still need to be respected, and we need to know that when we are at your feet, or tied to a bed unable to move, or performing publically for you in a crowded room, that you are *proud* of who and what we are.. and that you respect our position.. and you are very in tune w/ the emotional and mental joys and anguishes that each of those acts bring us... I have seen many "Doms and Masters" that think being a Dominant means they can boss women around.. this isn't about being rude and bossy.. Please Masters/Doms .. let us know that you respect, appriciate and are in fact in tune w/ our feelings.. take some weekly time and *talk* w/ your submissive.. let her know you respect all she does for you.. "I need a Master that will *treasure and love* my submission." Treasure your submissive.... let her know that you love her.. there are many ways you can do this.. and the more ways you show her, the closer your relationship will grow and blossom..It is nice to hear "I love you".. but, don't forget about the deep emotional aspects of this lifestyle.. One of the best ways to show your submissive that you love her, is to *take* what she is offering to you..She has a gift.. for *you*... if you don't take it *all*.. she will probably become insecure in the relationship..We talk a lot about D/s being a lifestyle that involves the heart, mind, body and soul..Those are the areas that you need take from her.. Many times, I have talked w/ submissives that say they don't feel their Master's *take* what they are offering.. they don't feel loved or treasured.. It is very important that you spend good quality talks w/ your partner.. know her needs and desires in all areas.. what is it she needs to be taken from her heart, her mind, her soul, and her body.. Dont' just take those areas and wrap them up as one package.. look at them each as individual gifts.. take them from her.. take all she is willing to give, and then even a tiny bit more.. leave her drained, and hungry for more.. "I need a Master that will *nurture* my submission." For me, this is the one area that many Masters/Doms fail to see.. as your slave/sub .. let us *feel* like we belong to you.. this goes w/ the above area, being treasured.. *take* us.. MAKE us *yours* .. Once we do belong to you, continue to nurture our submission.. perfect us.. mold and form us to be more pleasing and fulfilling to your needs and desires. This might be a bad analogy, but it's the best I can think of on short notice: You go to the nursery and purchase a pack of flower seeds, soil and planting pot.. you lovlingly and protectively plant the seeds, you give it just the right amount of sunshine, enough water .. one day.. after all your devoted attention, you notice the sprout.. Now, that sprout needs different nurturing an attention than the seeds did.. you comply.. and then one day you see the buds.. again, the buds need different nurturing and attention than the seeds and the sprouts.. the same when your seeds in the planting pot become flowers... The same is true w/ submissives, our needs change.. not always because of our growth in our submission, but just because we, as people, go through changes our whole life..Please, be very aware of where your submissive is emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually in her life.. Always keep her wanting more though.. Keep her on the edge.. don't ever let contintment be the end of your relationship..Remember that she is a submissive.. and do things out of the blue, for no reason at all.. call her to you and tell her to kneel... reach down and tell her that you love her as your carress her cheek... keep her in the state she craves to be.. Afterall, if you want a submissive woman, then it is up to you to make, and keep her that... "We need a Master that will love, respect, treasure and nurture our submission" Well, what do you think? What do you think I thought? Those who know me are already laughing... The last sentence really sums it up (this is an appropriate thing for a last sentence to do my English professors have told me). So let me start there. The "we" in the sentence refers to "submissives" although the unknown author (xxxx{Xx}is not the author, she merely passes it along) does use the words "slaves" and "Masters" interchangeably with "subs" and "Doms." It is important to remember that most Goreans consider such terms to be distinctly different things. There are other words in the sentence like "need," "love," "respect," and "nurture." In every case these words are used with the submissive being the object. It is she who needs, she who is to be loved, she who is to be respected, and she who is to be nurtured. The Dominant, by inference, is the one who will perform these actions. He will satisfy, love, respect, and nurture. In each case it is clear that the direction of the action is from the Dominant to the submissive. To my Gorean way of thinking, this is backward. A slave may indeed have needs. But it is not imperative on the Master to fulfill them. He may fulfill them if he so chooses, but if he does, it is because it pleases him to do so. The pleasure and satisfaction of fulfilling the slave's needs belongs to the Master. If she has needs that go unsatisfied, then it is because it pleases him to leave them unsatisfied. Let us postulate a Master and a slave. This slave has needs. She needs respect, love, and nurture. But she receives none of this. Her Master cares nothing for her. He beats her regularly, uses her when it pleases him, and has her perform a variety of menial tasks. He often cavorts with other women and, in turn, gives her to other men. She has on occasion asked to speak to him about things... she needs to talk and be listened to... but he has always refused, often beating her instead. On Earth we'd be rooting for the girl. "Dump the stupid son-of-a-bitch!" the audience of the popular talk show would shout, "Get yourself a real man, honey, you deserve better than that worthless crud!" On Gor, it would be just another Master with his slave. She has no talk shows to watch, no one to commiserate with over coffee and danish. She has no legal recourse. She can't go to the battered woman's shelter. She is totally, and simply, a slave. She has no rights -- legal or inalienable. Should her Master become tired of her, he can simply sell her or even kill her. Of course, we do not live on Gor. There is no such place. But there are people who call themselves Gorean. If you wish to call yourself Gorean, then you must believe in things that are Gorean in nature. You must approach a relationship with a slave from a Gorean context. No, you cannot kill your slave if she displeases you, not without serious legal consequences. But that should not change the fundamental direction from which you approach the relationship. It is still the Master around whom the relationship revolves -- only the Master. Slaves may indeed be loved, respected, and nurtured. But it is not done because the Master must fulfill her needs. It is done because it pleases him to do so. It fulfills his needs to do so. The submission of a Gorean slave is not a gift to her Master. It is a choice she makes. It is her last choice, because once made, she never has another choice. Once made, her submission is not a gift or a weapon. She becomes owned. Everything that she ever had, to include her submission, is now the property of her Master. It is then he who chooses. His choices may or may not include love, respect, and nurture. Naturally, the reality of the situation is that a slave may run away from a relationship on Earth. On Gor, she might be hunted down and recaptured, if worth the effort, or slain, if not. Or she might simply be let go. She'd only too quickly find herself in yet another collar and another set of chains. But on Earth, she can get free. And she should be let free, with little more regard to her. There will be another, and another after that. And should there fail to be another for awhile, then it does not make him less than what he is -- a man. So, for those who wish to call themselves Gorean, pay no attention to "How to Be A Gorean Master" particularly and especially if written by a woman. Each individual male sets his own parameters and if he chooses to take a slave, he sets her parameters as well. I wish you well, Zeb Grow Up Watching the current discussions permeating Gor on why it is in a state of disarray, something "dawned" on me from watching a discussion between two "Masters". "Moe and Larry" were deciding what was their "right" to do with their property, and what their rights were with regards to their conduct in channel. Both "Masters" were in FULL agreement that it was their right to do whatever they pleased with their property, that they could do whatever they pleased in any channel, and that it was dishonorable for anyone to tell them otherwise. After thinking on this a while, I realized that this same attitude is the current belief of many irc "Goreans". There is only one problem with this belief....its wrong. Ownership, in itself, does not truly fulfill the contract.. ownership is not adequately accomplished, until the responsibilities of owning an article.. a title.. another person, are properly met. Further, a personÕs RIGHT to do anything ENDS at the point it infringes on the rights of another. This is where your rights end and your RESPONSIBILITIES begin. While it is true that animals tend to do whatever they want, when and where ever they want, humans exist in"a society". In real life, you own your car, but should you decide to decorate it with nude women, racial slurs and profanity and drive it back and forth to work, it would probably not take long before your "rights of ownership" get trampled on by an outraged public. Again, if you decide to take your car and drive it THRU a shopping mall full of people, running merrily over several in the process.. what would happen? You would be lucky IF you lived to see jail. In a society, ANY SOCIETY, laws are passed to allow humans to interact and live with each other without chaos. If a society had NO laws and each man did only what He wanted, again, without penalty, it would be called anarchy. Picture a soldier deciding that he didn't WANT to take his post watching the gates one night. Picture next, the invaders walking in and killing everyone, since no one was on duty to sound the alarm. The raiders then, after looting the city, would themselves be "prey" to another band because their own soldiers chose to party rather than post guards that night....and on and on it goes...till there is nothing. It is true that the books by John Norman outlining Gor are often sketchy, he does,however, describe cities and armys and speaks of "laws" in those cities. Do you think the Freeperson of Gor, did whatever they damn well pleased? HELL NO!! If that were the case, how could they maintain an army?...a court?.... have family structures that produced free children? Answer: they could not. Even in a society where the strong dominate the weak, certain social norms apply.. certain rules abided by certain tabooÕs observed. In the books of Gor, for example, the wearing of Body Armor is not done. It is GLOBALLY considered cowardly to wear armor. That accepted belief in itself constitutes a law of sorts, intended to give each combatant a "fair" chance at victory. Lets take a look at IRC Gor for a moment. It is commonly accepted that if a persons nick is capped, they are a Freeperson and that slaves show them at least a modicum of respect. In "Moe and Larry's" script, a slaveÕs owner could tell his girls that no one is a Master but him.... he could tell them to spit in the faces of other "capped nicksÓ, (which, by the way, has actually happened). Where would "Gor" be if such ÒrightsÓbecame the norm? Answer: In pile of bosk dung it inhabits right now!!!!!!!!!!!! In order for a society to survive and flourish, its people must work together to BUILD (buildings, services, structure, goods to sell, etc..) Fortunately, or unfortunately, for people to work together, they must FIRST have the ability to interact with each other. A common language is usually step one down this path. Step two is the decision on what will be built, but step THREE is and must be, the RULES of HOW things are to be built and accomplished. On "irc Gor", we have accomplished step one. Step two is a bit sketchy, but according to almost every one I meet, they all claim to want Gor and to be Gorean so we can take that as step two. That leaves us hovering over the chasm of step three. But, till that step is taken....you've got NOTHING people. Well, enough of my ramblings...my whole reason for writing this is one thing....If you want to do whatever you damn well please and be an uncivilized animal....go ahead....but do so outside of Turia. In Turia, we have LAWS and rules that EVERYONE follow, and will be expected to follow. If you cant...we have nice steel tipped boots for your animalistic behinds. Be well Goreans...the rest of you....read the damn books and wake up. Timbrwolf |