Ankh-Morpork Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of Cities! (Yes, that's right, it can be likened to a piece of grit covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusc...) This twin city, known as the Big Wahoonie, features in almost all of the Discworld novels, and is a large, sprawling mass of houses, streets and roads. The Patrician, Lord Havelock Vetinari, rules by the One Man, One Vote system - he is the Man and he has the Vote. Attractions of Ankh-Morpork It is said that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. In fact, all roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork - people just walk down them the wrong way. Ankh-Morpork has many places of interest for the Idle Touriste, including: Unseen University, the Discworld's premier college of magic. Wizards flock from all over the Disc to study here, although the senior faculty see the purpose of life as eating big dinners, and students as perpetually underfoot. The present Archchancellor is Mustrum Ridcully, and the faculty includes the Dean, Bursar (albeit propped up with dried frog pills), Senior Wrangler, Librarian (ook), Lecturer in Recent Runes, Reader in Invisible Writings (Ponder Stibbons) and the late Professor of Egregious Geography. The Mended Drum, (formerly the Broken Drum, because 'You can't beat it') drinking establishment extraordinaire. Frequented by all kinds of trolls, dwarfs, humans and humanoids - if you need to ask which type of beer you're drinking, you haven't drunk enough. The Palace, home of the Rats Chamber and Oblong Office - previously home to the monarchs of the city and now home to the Patrician. Leonard of Quirm is kept (bodily imprisoned, but you cannot lock up a man who can spend all day pondering about the light reflecting off a spider's web) in a room located somewhere in the Palace. The Guilds. Before you attempt to practice your trade here (especially if it is thievery), join the relevant Guild - paying a AM$1000 fee is infinitely preferable to being nailed up by your ears in Sator Square. The Street of Cunning Artificers - if you have something that is broken, there will be a shop that can fix it here. Some of the shops seem to disappear, others mysteriously appear one day and then have been there for years. Biers, tavern of the differently alive - bogeymen, vampires, werewolves, zombies and all your classical undead frequent this inn, as do Tooth Fairies and Susan. The main feature of Ankh-Morpork, and one that easily identifies it to the returning denizen, is its distinctive Smell. The rarely-used sewer systems and 1, 000, 000 inhabitants greatly contribute to this, and many Ankh-Morporkians cannot smell an onion placed next to their collective nose. Copyright © Terry Pratchett from the Discworld (R) Novels. Maintained by Jennie Lees, lees@mistral.co.uk - 1998. [Index] [People] [Places] [Books] [Games] [Unclear Physics] [afp] [Links] [About]