These are quotes I picked up from around the Star Trek universe. Some (alright, most) are funny, some are inspirational. The references in bold are episodes and the ones in italics are from the novels. If you know of any I missed, email me and include the quote, who said it, and where/when they said it. I hope you enjoy these, they are in no particular order.
Star Trek: The Original Series
"I transported the whole kit and kaboodle into their engine room - where they'll be no 'tribble' at all." - Scotty
from The Trouble with Tribbles
"I'm a doctor, not a marine invertebrate biologist." - Bones
from Windows on a Lost World
"Whoever has roving hands, they are trespassing on private property." - Kirk
"I am sorry, Captain. I was looking for a way out." - Spock
from The Three Minute Universe
"I hereby secentance you to the rest of your life. And may God have mercy on your soul."
from Shadows on the Sun
"We are all shadows on the sun, obscuring it's holy light, its perfection. To take a life is to allow that heavenly glory to shine that nuch brighter." - Li Moboron
from Shadows on the Sun
"I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer." - Bones
"You're a healer, there's a patient. That's an order." - Kirk
from Devil in the Dark
"I was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was in diapers." - Kirk
from Generations
"You. You. You've just become nurses. Let's go." - Chekov
from Generations
Star Trek: The Next Generation
"Fate, protects fools, little children, and ships named Enterprise." - Riker
from Contagion
"I am NOT a merry man!" - Worf
from Qpid
"Let's make sure history never forgets the name Enterprise." - Picard
from Yesterday's Enterprise
"Good-bye, Jean-Luc. I had such high hopes for you. But All Good things must come to an end." - Q
from All Good Things...
"When in Rome..eh?" - Riker
"When...where, sir?" - Worf
from Justice
"Data, I'm only gonna tell you this just once. It never happened." - Tasha Yar
from The Naked Now
"I'll be looking forward to your report, Mr Broccoli. Um...Barclay." - Picard
from Hollow Pursuits
"Spot, come here." - Worf
from Phantasms
"Welcome to the afterlife, Jean-Luc. You're dead." - Q
"No, I am not dead. Because I refuse to believe the afterlife is run by you. The universe is not to badly designed." - Picard
from Tapestry
"Once you elimainate the impossible, whatever left, no matter how omprobablr, must be the answer." - Data
from Data's Day and Lonely Among Us
"How did you like command?" - Riker
"Comfortable chair." - Worf
from The Emmissary
"Yes, but that is this place?" - Picard
"Where none have gone before." - Data
from Where No One Has Gone Before
"Geordi, what are you doing up there?"
"Resting, sir." - La Forge
from The Last Outpost
"Worf, still struggling up the evolutionary ladder?" - Q
from Q-in-Law
"May what ever god you believe in have mercy on your souls." - Q
from All Good Things...
"Thou art directed to return to thine own solar system immediately." - Q
from Encounter at Farpoint
"It's not you I hate, Cardassia. I hate what I've become because of you." - O'Brien
from The Wounded
"Growl for me. Show me you still care." - Q
from Q Who
Leave us! We've passed your little test!" - Picard
"Temper, temper, mon-capitan." - Q
from Encounter at Farpoint
"Saila, you shouldn't have come." - Wesley
"You want me to leave." - Salia
"I didn't say that." - Wesley
"Then you want me to stay."
from The Dauphin
"oh, don't give me that Klingon nonsence." - K'elehar
from The Emissary
"I am the goddess on empathy. Cast off your inhabitions and embrace love." - Holo-Troi
"Muzzle it." - Troi
from Hollow Pursuits
"I bring good news: Keiko has called off the wedding." - Data
"What! How can she do that?" - O'Brien
"Next time, let me bring the good news, Data," - La Forge
from Data's Day
"What is a 'Q'?" - Worf
"Last I heard it was a letter in the alphabet." - Tasha Yar
from All Good Things
"O ye of little faith." - Riker
from The Devil's Heart
"How do you want your tea?" - Maid
"Tea. Earl Grey. Hot." - Picard
"'Course it's hot, what you want in it?" - Maid
from All Good things...
"Captain, I believe the crew is de-evolving." - Data
from Genesis
"This above all, to thine ownself be true." - Data
from Hide and Q
"What must I do to convince you?" - Q
"Die." - Worf
from Deja Q
"Please, don't feel compelled to tell me the story of the boy who cried Worf." - Q
from Deja Q
"I'm an android, not a robot." - Data
from Deja Q
"I'm a doctor, remember, not a fusion engineer." - Bevery Crusher
from Here There Be Dragons
"The androis at the bar said you could show me my old ship. Let me see it." - Scotty
"Insufficent data. Please specify parameters." - Computer
"The Enterprise. Show me the bridge of the Enterprise, ya jabblin' piece a-" - Scotty
"There have been five Federation ships with that name. Please specify be registry number." - Computer
"N-C-C 1-7-0-1. No blood A, B, C, or D." - Scotty
from Relics
"Oh, shit." - Data
from Generations
"He must be the only engineer in Starfleet that doesn't go to Engeering." - Lursa
from Generations
"Fog." - Picard
"It just sort of rolled in on us." - Riker
from Sub Rosa
"I'm your worst nightmare." - Riker
from Lower Decks
"You might say I have a magnetic personality." - Data
from Generations
"Don't tell me, Tuesday." - Kirk
from Generations
"Do you know what always follows Q?" - Troi
"R?" - Lwaxana
from Q-in-Law
"May God have mercy on your soul." - Picard
from Generations
"Yess!" - Data
from Generations
"An keeper [kick] of the Holy [kick] Rings [kick] of Betazed. [kick]" - Lwaxana
from Q-in-Law
"They say time is the fire in which we burn." - Soren
from Generations
"...Unfortuneately, the Enterprise herself cannot be salvaged." - Picard
from Generations
"You'll have to excuse me, Captain, I have an appointment with eternity and I don't want to be late." - Soren
from Generations
"Lifeforms. You tiny little lifeforms. You precious little lifeforms. Where are you?" - Data
from Generations
"Computer, remove the plank." - Riker
"Number One, that's retact the plank, not remove the plank." - Picard
"Yes, sir. Sorry!" - Riker
from Generations
"I get it. On the mission to Farpoint you said, 'The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has got to go." - Data
"What?" - La Forge
"You told a joke, that was the punchline." - Data
"Data, that was seven yeaers ago." - La Forge
"I know. I just got it!" - Data
from Generations
"Riker. I'll bet he sleeps in his uniform." - Ensign LeVelle
from Lower Decks
"The ship in the bottle. Good lord! Didn't anyone build ships in bottles when they were boys?" - Picard
"I did not play with toys." - Worf
"I was never a boy." - Data
"I did, sir." - O'Brien
"Thank you, Mr O'Brien." - Picard
"I did, really. Ship in a bottle. It was great fun." - O'Brien
from Booby Trap
"Nice to meet you, Pinocchio." - Riker
from Encounter at Farpoint
"Offne-Wrong's got a broken heart, couldn't tell his boys apart." - Lore
from Brothers
"The name of my ship is the Lillipop." - Riker
"I have no knowledge of that ship." - Holo-Paul Rice
"It's just been commissioned. It's a good ship." - Riker
from The Arsenal of Freedom
"Hailing frequencies closed, sir." - Tasha Yar
from Skin of Evil
Geordi nodded bruskly and unconsciously straightened his shirt and rearranged his armor in imitation of the little motion the captain di whenever her rose or sat - the motion which, in goodnatured kidding around that ship, had been nicknamed "the Picard Maneuver".
from Vendetta
In the corridor Geordi said, "Whatever there is between the captain and Guinan, he obviously wants to keep it private."
"And we'll respect that, Mr La Forge." - Riker
"No question." - La Forge
"If the captain has anything to tell us, he will." - Riker
"No question." And then, after a moment of thought, Geordi added, "of course, until such time that the captain chooses to tell us, we're all going to speculate one hell of a lot."
"No question," said Riker
from Vendetta
"It's elementaty, my dear Riker." - Data
from Lonely Among Us
"Data, let's procede without the pipe." - Picard
from Lonely Among Us
"One can swim in moonlight?" - Data
from Conspiracy
Korsmo turned to shelby. "You're the ecpert on these things, Shelby. Do they have a weak point?"
For a fleeting moment Shelby was reminded of the old story about the baseball player - the one who came up to bat three times and hit a doub;e, a triple, and a home run. When he came up to bat for the fourth time the pitcher was pulled in favor of a new, frexh pitcher. As they passed each other, the new pitcher asked the departing one, 'This guy got any weaknesses?' And the losing pitcher said dourly, 'Yeah, he can't hit singles."
from Vendetta
"The advocate will refrain from making her opponent disappear." - Data
from Devil's Due
"Is this how you handle all your personell problems?" - Troi
"Sure. You'd be surprised how far a hug goes with Geordi, or Worf!" - Riker
from The Loss
"It appears that the mother of your untaken road will be joining us. Lwaxana troi is being sent be Betazed to be their representative at the joining of the houses of Graziunas and Nistral aboutar the USS Enterprise." - Picard
"Do they ever miss an opportunity to send her off planet?" - Riker
from Q-in-Law
"Captain, I's like to announce the birth of a large baby...something." - Beverly Crusher
from Galaxy's Child
Curosity could kill the captain.
from Galaxy's Child
"I hear Worf had a son? Data had a daughter?" - Pulashi
"Not with each other." - Riker
from Vendetta
"Speak softly, Governer, for those who cannot hear an angry shout may strain to hear a whisper." - Riker as Ambassador Odan
from The Host
And Wesley turned and said, "Do not pass go, do not collect $200?"
from A Rock and a Hard Place
"Gentlemen," Stone said slowly, "we're up a creek. Let's paddle."
from A Rock and a Hard Place
"Data, I want to meet her, not disect her." - Wesley
from The Dauphin
"It appears we will have to ignite the midnight pertrolium." - Data
from All Good Things...
"Nothing will please me more than to give away Mrs Troi." - Picard
from The Cost of Living
"Congradulations, Data, it's a girl." - Troi
from The Offspring
"Grow some hair, Picard, your brain has caught a cold." - Q
from Q-in-Law
"It is cosmically unjust that my first officer has more hair on his face than I do on my entire head." - Riker's thoughts when he thinks about Picard's reaction to his new beard.
from Strike Zone
"How long can two people talk about nothing?" - Riker
from Starship Mine
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
"You hit me?! Picard never hit me!" - Q
from Q-Less
Star Trek: Voyager
"What do you want?" - Torres
"I'd settle for good morning, but I'd rather have my mobel emitter." - the Doctor
from Drone
"I'm a doctor, not a peeping tom." - the Doctor
from Drone
"Maybe I could stand with an apple on my head and you could phaser it off." - Janeway
"Sounds great. If I miss I get to be captain." - Chakotay
from Coda
"I'll reattach anysevered limbs, just don't misplace them." - the Doctor
from The Killing Game pt2
"I can't sacrafice the presesnt waiting for a future that may never happen." - Chakotay
from Resolutions
"You will be assimilated." - 7 of 9
"No time for that now, maybe later." - Neelix
from Mortal Coil
"If we are assimilated our thoughts will become one and I will understand perfectly." - 7 of 9
from Hope and Fear
"Is someone ever going to fix my projectors?" - the Doctor
from Parallax
"I'm a doctor, Mr Neelix, not a decorator." - the Doctor
from Phage
"There's coffee in that nebula." - Janeway
from The Cloud
"I'm just gonna have to give up coffee, that's all there is to it." - Janeway
from The Cloud
"Mr Kim...at ease before you sprain something." - Janeway
from Caretaker
"When in the collective, Harry, adapt." - Chakotay
from The Omega Directive
Misc
Star Trek Memories really give you somethings to cling to. (You though I was going to say 'cling on', didn't you?) - Peter David
Return to the Main page.