Just before you leave (skeptika had a leave of absence during 2000 - ed.), I have to tell you about something that just happened to me. I have a friend here (J.H.) who is teaching me how to get the gifts of the spirit. He goes to this church and all, and he's really well versed in the teachings of the Bible and everything.
Well, I have noticed, in my endeavours of practicing wicca with my friend L.S., (the same guy that I had my other 'experience' with [see T.M.D.R.'s experience]), that I can 'see' spirits and communicate with them. My friend here who is the devout christian, saw my gift and said it was a weird version of '...(something) ...of the spirits'.
I don't know what he called it but J.H. thinks that I have the beginnings of the gift of seeing the good and bad spirits around the world (yes, apparently 'God' - if you want to call Him that, depending on your beliefs - has a gift called that, that He gives to people).
He has never experienced that gift personally but I have been with the gift as long as I can remember. J.H. just came into my room and said he felt like something was 'seeping into your soul' and it wasn't very 'kosher'. Then he made me get my Bible and open it up to a page and sleep with it and left the room. The other thing, on the other hand, wasn't leaving.
I began to read passages from the Good Book. As I flipped through the pages to go to the very beginning and start reading Genesis, a slip of paper that I have never seen before and which no one known to me had put inside my Bible was wedged between the pages. I have never seen the paper before, nor have I ever loaned the book to anyone, nor has anyone else but I read it. It had a name on it, the name of someone who I knew more than eight years ago, when I was delivering papers for "The Recorder" - Amsterdam's newspaper. The name on the paper was the very same name I remembered, that of an old lady. She has been dead for eight years.
That's what is sooooooo wierd. I went over to J.H.'s room and knocked wildly on his door. I told him the story of the slip of paper and he was even more baffled than I. He is now saying a prayer for me as am I.
Why won't this thing ever leave me alone? It follows me to school, to home, to my other friend's houses, it won't stop. I keep living in a torment of always having eyes watching me everywhere I go. I feel them right behind me now as I type this. I remember praying to God when I was very little, saying that I always wanted to see ghosts and stay in contact with them. I was very curious (to say the least) about things I could not explain. Always on the pursuit of truth, wherever it might roam.
But I never wanted bad things to be attracted to me and not leave me alone. I am scared but I know they can't hurt me. It is more psychological than that though. It is a mind f___ing is what it is and I want it stopped. I don't mind being in contact with them, but I dont want to be harassed.