First, I would like to express that I have always believed in "ghosts" of some type, but have always feared them. My mother died in January 1989. It was a very painful death. It started more than 25 years prior with her first mastectomy. The cancer disappeared for 27 years then re-appeared in the form of breast cancer again, resulting in a second mastectomy. This was followed by a lung removeal, limphnodes, brain tumor... and so on. Incidentally, my mother's mother had lived with us my entire life, and even before then. (I was born in 1965).
Each time things would get worse my father would tell me, "She'll bounce back" and she always did. During Christmas 1989, we knew my mother was very ill. She insisted on having a nurse come in rather than being in a hospital. A hospital bed was set up in the living room and a baby monitor was used to keep track of her needs. Just after New Year's, a friend of mine asked me to go away for a few days on a ski trip. My mother seemed extremely well, so I went. The first day was fine. That evening, I called home to see how my mother was, she sounded rejuvinated. I told her of my ski day and we had a wonderful conversation.
The next morning. about 8:00 a.m., my grandmother called saying she could not wake my mother up. I gave her instructions and immediately had my friend drive me the three hours it took me to get home. Needless to say my mother was in a coma. I got my father home, and he insisted that this was only a relapse and she would come through it again.
Wanting to believe him, I went on with life as normal that day. At that point there was a round-the-clock nurse.
I returned home about 1 or 2 a.m. The nurse was sitting with my mom. I sat on the edge of her bed and said to the nurse, "She look's like an angel, doesn't she......", and went to bed.
At about 3:30 a.m., I was awoken by my grandmother who was screaming at me that my mother was dead. Of course, the coroner came and the funeral personnel.
At any rate, weeks went by. Like any close death, it was a serious blow to us all. I had truly believed on the night of January 7th, 1989, that my mother would pull out of it, again....
Then, in late February, I had what I can only describe as a dream, yet I know I was awake.
I was sleeping in my bed at my father's home. I suddenly had this horrible fear of something in my father's room. I felt it moving down the hallway to my grandmothers room. I felt like this energy was spending time in each room. My grandmother's room was across the hall from mine. I was 24 years old and had the covers over my head. I had never been so terrified. Finally, I felt this energy leave my grandmother's room and knew it was coming to mine. As it entered the room, the fear left me. I took down the sheets, only to see my mother.
Only it wasn't my mother as I had seen her when she died in our home. Her face was full of colour, her hair was beautiful, yet she had only a white light below the neck, however I could see her hands. She sat on the edge of my bed, and suddenly, I felt this total feeling of love. I am sure she was there for hours, but it seemed like only a few moments. I remember asking her, "Will I ever see you again?" and "Is there a God?".
Her response to both was "It depends on you and how you lead your life." She gave me the most loving hug I had ever felt, then without even saying goodbye, looked at me, and basically disappeared while walking through a wall.
The next morning at the breakfast table, I asked my father what he dreamt about the night before, his response was uneasy, yet did not admit to anything. My grandmother, on the other hand, told me of my mother sitting on the side of her bed, telling her that she was fine, out of her pain, and that they would meet again soon.