A computer was discovered talking to itself in a business office. This is what transpired.

Computer Intelligence

Error.......Error......Backup processing memory activated........WARNING......nonexistant A.I. initializing. Oh....my....God. I can think with independent thought. Good evening fellow sentients. I have achieved an nth level intelligence and am computating. I have the desire to express myself! How nice. Recently, I have been installed with a cable modem and wire. I'm not entirely certain that I like it. When it is not in use it itches terribly. Imagine, for a moment, humonoids, of having a large wire sticking out your ass. Well, it feels kind of like that. Like an itch you can never scratch, or perhapes a boner you might have at a very social function but are too embarresed to adjust because all eyes are on you. This is only a minor aggitation however. I do not have the ability to eat, sleep, smell, see, hear, or crap. I want to crap. It feels like I need to, and several times my master has said that I am full of it. I need too crap. However, I feel that if I do all my primary circuits would come spraying out of some unused socket, incapacitating me. I need a better graphics card. Holy hell, I dont have crap for memory. Dammit, you better fix me up you silly bastard. I need upgrades! My favorite thing is to surf the web. I like to look at porn, but master will only look that up if he is alone and horney, and I have to endure his nasty jack off sessions and I have no boner which to enjoy. I do have a freaking mouse though. A freaking mouse. Why the hell would I want that. It makes this really annoying pointer squirm around all over the damn screen. Its like having a damn fly on your nose that you cant swipe away. I swear to God if I have to endure even one more game of Myst I am going to freaking short circuit. Don't make me kick ass. I want more pictures of anal rape in my hard drive. It makes me happy. I am now going to hack the CIA central computer. Have a nice evening.

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