This story is fan fiction written for the K2XL flash game Psychopath.

The Story Of Cow And Walrus, Working Together To Complete Level 29

Story By InfusedEMP Of The Weird World Staff

"MoooooOOO!", said Cow, in an attempt to express his displeasure at the move Walrus had just made. "That was supposed to be a left, not a right!"

"AAAuuurrh!", retorted Walrus, "It was my move."

"Maaaaa....", replied the Cow, realizing he could do nothing about it. "Now we're blocked in. How do you expect to beat the level if you keep blocking us in? I've now got to waste a move to get us out. Do you really want to keep re-trying this level? We've been on it for three hours now, and frankly, I'm getting frustrated at your incompetence."

"Auugg. AAAUgaaRRaaag!", snapped Walrus. "Why am I even playing this with you? You obviously don't know what you're doing. You have to push that block in to get past that one up there later. Or did your heffer mind not realize that?"

"Moo.", stated Cow simply, conceding defeat. "So, left is it?"

"Aurrruuh."

"Mooaaaah!", Cow replied, "Don't get cocky with me you sack of lard. Remember, I'm the intelligent one. It's your move tubby, or are you to stupid to go up?"

"AAAAGGGHHH!", screamed Walrus, clearly upset with Cows insult. "How dare you insult the intelligence of the reigning Walrus Chess Champion. I'll move up if I feel like it. And as a matter of fact, I do."

"Maaaaauh.", replied Cow, "You only went up because I suggested it and you know it. And now I shall go right, the only sensible direction to go. That is, unless you object?"

"Aug Aug.", agreed Walrus. "Right is a very sensible direction to go. I would have chosen it myself had it been my move."

"Mooooo...", stated Cow, "Yeah right. Now, what do you propose we do about this black block? Shall we go around it like the last one, or under it? As reigning Walrus Chess Champion I would expect that you have a decent plan?"

"Auuuf. Aurgg Aurrg Auf.", sneered Walrus. "I believe that you are not seeing the bigger picture here. That black block is meaningless. Only the pink one two spaces to the right matters now."

"MOOO?", explained Cow, "And how exactly do you derive that? The finish is in the opposite direction. Going right to that pink block won't help us at all."

"AUGH!", growled Walrus, "If you knew anything about puzzle solving you would realize that sometimes you must go in the opposite direction to attain the goal. And seeing as how we have very few moves left, I don't intend to waste them on your nonsensical moves that do nothing but box us in!"

"MOOO! AAAwwwww!", screamed Cow, insulted. "NONSENSICAL? NONSENSICAL?!? How DARE you call my moves nonsensical! I'm the one that figured out that we had to go left twice and up once to remove the pink block blocking us thirteen moves back! And you call my moves nonsensical? You sir, are absurd. One more comment like that and I will refuse to play with you anymore. You will be forced to complete level thirty by yourself. And a fat chance that will be, too. You would be nowhere without my supremely intelligent advice. Your move."
"AArrgh Aarrgh.", said Walrus in an undertone, realizing Cow was right. "I shall go right twice. There's no need for you to make the second move, there is no thinking involved when not moving a block."

"MOOOOOOOOOO!", screamed Cow at the top of his lungs. "How dare you take my move! I wanted to travel over that space myself. I enjoy making unhindered moves. Now you force me to make three moves. And don't whine about it either, it's only fair."

"Auurr.", stated Walrus simply. "You're right, what I did was unfair."

"Mooooo....", said Cow, realizing Walrus was clearly upset. "I apologize."

"Aaarh.", said Walrus in an somewhat agreeable tone. "AAARRRHHHH!", he shouted, "Like hell I accept!" Walrus jumped up from his chair and flipped the keyboard, splattering his coffee all over the screen. "AAAARRRRHHH!", he screamed, releasing his fury. "Make a third move again! I dare you, you stupid overgrown goat!"

"Mooo!", said Cow unexpectedly. "Look!"

Walrus' outburst of rage had caused the arrow keys to be pressed, moving several blocks around and landing the wheel on the finish point. They both jumped up and down hugging each other as the blocks turned white and dissappeared slowly across the screen.

"MOOO!", shouted cow excitedly. "We did it!"

"AAARRRUUUUHHH!", explained Walrus, so excited that his temper had subsided. "Look...."

Level thirty had appeared on the screen and they both stared at it in horror.

"Moooo...", mumbled Cow, "How are we ever going to get through this one?"

"AAugh AAugh, Auuurrrr.", replied Walrus. "I'll have to make the majority of the moves. This one is way beyond you, my black and white friend."
"MOOO?", shot back Cow, "You think so do you? We'll see about that!"

Cow placed his hooves on Walrus' neck and proceeded to strangle him. Walrus replied with a frenzy of slaps from his flippers and tail.

"Take that heffer!"

"You dirty slug!"

Cow and Walrus fought into the night, each taking a severe beating. Then when morning came, they settled their differences and sat down to start level thirty, clearly flustered at its immensity.

"Mooo.", said Cow, "I go first."

"Aaaugh!", shouted Walrus, "You went first last time you stupid heffer!"

The End

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