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Exerpts From The Diary Of A French Intruiter, Head Of Doctrines Department, Industrialist Sanction

I don't really like to pee on pedestrians. It's totally not even my style man. I don't think that's something even the most skitzo person should do. But hey, I'm a little off my rocker anyway, so sometimes I say things and don't mean them. And sometimes I do things and really mean them, but I don't mean them, but then again I do. I get the feeling somethings not right. I like to go to bed with the lights on. But when I wake up, the lights are off. I don't understand. If everything in my life is the way that I want it, why can't I fly to work? I can't even get to work in time anyway. Yet, I can forget to take the toast out of the toaster before I go to bed at night, but when I wake up in the morning, there's scrambled eggs in a frying pan and the toast looks, tastes, and smells like it just popped out of the toaster. I just don't understand it. Why can't I be the captain of an airship? I wan't to be the one that throws the sandbags overboard when we want to go higher really quickly. Nobody could tell me what to do. The sky would be the limit. I would go where no mans been before and back again. And then again. And then I'd go back a third time and I'd claim the land in the name of Spain. Though I owe no alleigence to Spain. I've never even been to Spain. Yet I go around claiming everything in the name of Spain. I just dont understand myself sometimes. If everything that I claim is in the name of Spain, why do no spaniards come? Maybe Spain doesn't know that I've claimed these particular lands for them. I mean, I've nver sent them any formal letter or doctrine stating that I've claimed these particular lands for Spain. I just assume of course, that my claims for Spain are entrusted into the particular hands in which set the law and such fourth. I know nothing of these reckonings. I am but a lowley man. I have no hands in the upper deck of civilization. I am not one of the commanders of peace, and freedom, and justice. I am, however, a commander of judiciary court of law precint #9998575 of the 7th court of appeals district 5412247 of the Salsbury Estates. Though I've never been officially summoned to a meeting or altercation of any kind by the state of Pittsburgh, I do hereby declare myself King of all active ground in whose duties are to serve the people and seek justice for all and their hand puppets.

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