Scully's Software/Hardware Dilemma

I got this from one of my Society Of X mailing lists. We don't know who wrote it, but if it's you, let me know, so I can give you propper credit!! :)

TO: Tech Support for Boyfriend 1.0
FROM: Dana K. Scully

I have been a satisfied user of your Partner software for many years now and have had very few problems with it - apart from a nasty virus a couple of years back. However, believing that Partner 8.0 would be unavailable, I attempted to upgrade from Partner 7.0 to Boyfriend 1.0.

The installation went very smoothly - in fact, it seemed quite easy - but I soon noticed that I was having trouble with a lot of the applications that used to run smoothly under Partner 7.0. In fact, a few weeks later the entire system appeared to crash and now I seem to have neither Partner 7.0 nor Boyfriend 1.0.

Also, I am disturbed to find that I appear to be running Pregnancy 2.0. I definitely did not request this application, indeed I believed my system was unable to support it.

I hope you can help me.

Dana K. Scully, FBI


Dear Ms Scully,

Please accept our apologies for the problems you have encountered with Boyfriend 1.0. Your mistake was in thinking that you were upgrading from Partner 7.0, when in fact Boyfriend 1.0 is a much less sophisticated program. The good news is that you can now run applications such as Dinnerout 5.1, Flowers 2.0 and Jewellery 6.1. You should be aware though that these will no longer be supported if you choose to upgrade to Husband 1.0.

The bad news is that once you have installed Boyfriend 1.0, it is very difficult to uninstall. Partner software will no longer run on your system, which is a shame as it turns out Partner 8.0 will be available after all - a brand new package with many improved features.

Unfortunately, the acquisition of Pregnancy 2.0 - which can happen accidentally while installing Boyfriend 1.0 - does sometimes cause Boyfriend 1.0 to crash. This is a system error that we have not yet been able to programme out. My advice is to sit tight and see what happens - very often Boyfriend 1.0 will reappear in almost full working order. You should also be aware that while running Pregnancy 2.0 you should avoid overworking the system as this can cause unpleasant system errors such as Varicoseveins and Stretchmarks.

One final piece of good news. If you manage to keep Pregnancy 2.0 running smoothly and bug-free, you can expect to receive Birth 1.0 free of charge in about nine months. This is an exciting package consisting of Pain 3.1, Sleeplessnights 24.7 and Crying 2000. Of course, after this your system will no longer work at all (and believe me, you won't want it to!) so you'd better hope Boyfriend 1.0 is back in full working order as you will no longer be able to download any other Boyfriend software. Ever.

Hope this has been some help.

Karen
Customer Care Division