To the doctor we will go, our fair ladies!

Cast: M'Onel (Lar Gand/ Valor), Tasmia Mallor Gand/ Tas), Andromeda (Laurel Gand Dox) , Brainiac 5.1 (Querl Dox/ Brainy), Tenzil Kem (Tenz), Tempest (Garth), Dolphin

Setting: Umbra and Andromeda are about to have their *first* prenatal exam. And M'Onel and Brainiac 5.1 are having an interesting time coping with their wives cravings!

LegionHQ Commissary:

Tenzil asks Umbra what she wants for breakfast. 'I'm craving sushi from a restaurant Lar and I went to in Osaka. Lar's gone to get it for me. But thanks for asking, Tenz." She goes to join Laurel and Querl, who are already eating. Just as she's sitting, Lar enters carrying several boxes. 'Since you weren't sure exactly which dish you wanted, I brought one of each!"

'Hey Lar, what can I get *you* for breakfast?" ' Some steak and eggs with hash browns will be fine Tenz." 'Don't forget, we four must be at Dr. Gym'll's office fir the prenatal exam at ten thirty."

' Yes Querl, did you make that device for Laurel? And one for Tasmia?" 'Yes it's *all* taken care of, he will not discover any information we don't want him to! Thank you again for the loan of the Pilgrim IV. It made getting the fresh Titanese ringed fruit cake Laurel was craving last night *much* easier!"

'*chuckle* No problem, I'd have gotten it for you, but I had to go all the way to Orando for some vormalac fruit cobbler for Tas. It was faster for you to take the Pilgrim than wait for me to get back from Orando. At least *you* only have to deal with cravings for three or four more months! Tas tells me she'll have cravings for the *entire* pregnancy!" '*chuckle* Yes, I just wish the psi link didn't cause *both* of us to have the cravings! I *loathe* Titanese ringed fruit cake!! Yet I ate as much of it as Laurel did! Wait, *why* aren't *you* experiencing Tasmia's cravings? YOU'RE NOT EATING SUSHI FOR BREAKFAST AS SHE IS!!"

Lar shrugs :' Just better at blocking the psi link when necessary, I guess. Unfortunately it's getting harder to block, and during labor, *nothing* will block the sympathetic labor pains!" Querl weakly :'sympathetic labor pains?" " 'Don't worry Querl, I'll *try* to block the link, but I'm afraid that Lar's right, I *won't* be able to *completely block the pains from you." ' That's all right Laurel, I *had* surmised that the psi link would have that affect, I just *hoped* it wouldn't!"

'Anyone want some sushi? Lar brought *far* more than I can eat!" No one accepts the offer. Tenzil offers to store the left overs for future use. 'Well, I'll get the aero-car, we should be leaving for Dr. Gym'll's." 'Since when do *you* *have* an aero-car, Lar?" 'Since Tas's eer morning sickness turned to any time any where sickness, Querl. The aero-car has built in facilities to handle the umm you know."

Everyone chuckles in sympathy. 'Laurel, do you two want to ride with us? There's *plenty* of room. Tasmia offer as she stands to help Tenz store the extra sushi. ' Sure Tas, I'm having the same problem, myself, poor Querl is too!" '*chuckle* he hides it well, but Lar is also, apparently it's easier to block my cravings than my morning, noon and night sickness!"

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They're in route to Dr. Gym'll's office:

"Querl, Lar, these devices will cause Gym'll's Bio-scanner to register that *I'm* having a single Daxamite/Coluan baby, and that Tasmia's having fraternal twins.But what are we going to do about the actual births?" "Well, I suppose we could umm go for a 'joyride' in the Pilgrim IV and let Risa deliver the babies." Tasmia muses as she tries to control her nausea.

"NO WAY! If something goes wrong, *neither* Querl nor I will be in any shape to be much help! Besides I don't know about Querl, but *I've* never delivered a baby in my *life* and I'm *not* going to start *now* with *these* babies! Not to *mention* the fact that the Pilgrim's Med-bay is *NOT* equipped as a maternity ward!"

"Hmm I could build a superhypnotic device that will erase all memory of the actual births. And plant the false memory of the births occurring as we wish the world to believe,that *Tasmia* bears twins, and Laurel a single baby." "MMMM kissing her husband: That's a wonderful idea Querl!" "Oh Lar, I made an appointment for you so Dr. Gym'll can make *sure* your internal injuries are healing properly , my love."

"Great Tas, If he gives me a clean bill of health, I can *finally* deal with the Meta/Roxxas situation!" "OH Ancestors! I hadn't thought of that! Yyou *will* be careful, won't you? He's older, heavier, and stronger than you are! Well he's *physically* older than you are! I I Couldn't *bear* it if anything happened to you, especially now!" " Yes, Tas, I'll be careful. But I *have* to do it, there's no one else! Except for maybe Element Lad, and I *don't* want Jan involved!"

"Just promise me, if it comes down to a choice of kill or be killed, *you'll* be the one who survives! I know killing is normally *not* an option, but in *this* case , I believe an exception *can* and *should* be made! That bastiche wiped out the Trommites!" "Tasmia *is* quite correct Lar. By *any* reasonable standard, the universe would be a *much* better place if *you* are still in it , rather than Roxxas the Butcher!"

"Don't worry Tas my heart, Querl, *if* it comes down to a choice, *I* *will* be the survivor! I've got too much to live for to let Roxxas end it for me! Ahh here we are, Metropolis Medi-Center!"

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Later in Dr. Gym'll's office:

"Well, legionnaires, you're *both*in perfect health, and so are your babies! M'Onel, your internal injuries are completely healed!. But remember, you only have the *one* kidney now! So *try* to take *proper* care of it! With your 'one of a kind' blood type, a transplant is *not* an option! Now if you will just sign my credit vouchers, I have patients to see who are *actually* sick!"

After signing the vouchers, they thank Dr. Gym'll and leave. "Mmm I want the escargot I had at that little cafe' on the Stein for lunch Lar." "Sure Tas, you want to go to the cafe' or home and I'll go get it?" "I want to go home Lar, I feel like a nap before lunch!" "Mmm Querl, I want the Haggis I had at that inn we went to in New Edinburgh, and that delicious Yorkshire pudding from that little pub restaurant in New London!"

"Laurel, unless you want to *go* to the inn and pub, you and Querl take Tas home, and I'll bring back all the food you two ladies are craving! Anything *else* you want Tas, Laurel? Besides the snails, haggis and Yorkshire pudding?" "Mmm now that you mention it, some of the spicy curried rice from that restaurant in New Calcutta, and some baklavas from that stand in Athens." " OK, you want anything else Laurel?" "Well, some cherries jubilee and eclairs would be great!"

"All right then, Tas wants escargot, spicy curried rice, and baklavas. Laurel wants haggis, Yorkshire Pudding, cherries jubilee and eclairs. Anything else? You want anything Querl? No? Then you all head home. If you didn't inform anyone you want to find out about the babies on your homeworlds or anywhere else for that matter, I suggest you do it now! I'll be as fast as I can with the food."

"Why Lar? Do you think one of the Medi-Center employees will blab to a holo-news reporter?" "More than likely Tas, so if any of you have someone you *don't* want to hear about it on the holo-news, you better tell them yourselves, as soon as you can!"

"Correct Lar it *will* be in and on the holos as soon as it is known to the holo-news networks. I will inform Vril as soon as we arrive at Legion HQ. Laurel, Tasmia, if you have anyone on Talok VIII or Daxam you wish to tell personally about the babies you'd better do it as soon as we reach the HQ."

Lar kisses his wife and flies off to get the food.

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Later in the Legion Commissary:

Tempest and Dolphin are visiting when Lar arrives with the food.

"Great Neptune! Lar *what* is that awful smell? HOLY HADDOCK IT'S HAGGIS!!! I'd recognize that stench *anywhere*!! I *hoped* no one was cooking that God awful thing anymore!" "HAHAHAHA Right you are Garth, but how do *you* know about haggis? I thought you were a *strict* vegetarian!"

" I *am*, but in my younger days, Aquaman sent me to a boarding school in Scotland to learn more about the surface dwellers! I *never* *ate* haggis, but they served it *regularly* at the school!"

"Glad to hear you *don't* want my haggis Garth! Though Lar probably bought *more* than enough if you want any Dolphin?" "Eer *what* is *in* a haggis?" "UMM Dolphin *trust* me you DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" "Actually I *do* Lar , after all how can I decide if I want to try it if I don't know what it is?" "Fair enough, it's a stuffed sheep's stomach, stuffed with umm sheep entrails, oats, and whatever else the cook puts in it Dolphin, still want to try some?" " OOOHHHHH NO thank you but no."

"Lar! Your back! Great I'm famished! Where's the escargot? And the spicy curried rice and baklava?" " Here you go my love enjoy! Umm Garth the curried rice *is* vegetarian, but I've got to warn you it's the hottest in *all* of New Calcutta , at least that's what Apu Mahandraz claims."

"Ahh now *that* sounds tempting *if* your sure you have enough to spare." "*More* than enough Garth, trust me. The only way to placate Apu about dragging him out of bed was to buy enough to feed the *entire* memberships of the Legion and Titans *combined*!" Hell, I ended up buying the bloody restaurant for Roa's sake!"

AWW Pooor Lar, I *am* a trial to you aren't I?" "Sometimes you *are* Tas, but I love you anyway!"

The end

Meta: Roa is the Daxamite word for God.