Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, DC Comics does! This is done just for the fun of it, no money being made!

Cast: M'Onel (Lar Gand), Umbra (Tasmia Mallor Gand/Tas), Andromeda (Laurel Gand Dox), Kid Quantum II (Jazmin Cullen), Monstress (Candi Pyponte-Le Parc III), Star Boy (Thom Kallor), Thunder (Cee Cee Bek), Sensor (Jeka Wynnzzor), Triad (Luornu Durgo), Karate Kid (Val Armorr), Ultra Boy (Jo Nah), Nightwing (Richard 'Dick' Grayson), Starfire Koriand'r/Kory), Troia (Donna Troy), Lobo, Omen (Lilith), Tempest Garth), Arsenal (Roy Harper), Lian Harper, The Flash (Wally West), Dolphin, Linda Park West, Condo Arlik, Meta (Roxxas the Butcher)

Setting: Shortly after his wedding, M'Onel learned that Workforce member Meta, who's claiming to be Valor, was in fact Roxxas, the Butcher of Trom. Now that his internal injuries have healed, Lar's determined to see that Roxxas pays for his crimes.

  Part 1

The Legionnaires and the Titans are relaxing in the Legion HQ rec-room. Suddenly the holo-vid show the Triads are watching is interrupted: "This is Condo Arlik, we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this late breaking story. Meta of McCauley's Workforce, who recently revealed himself as Valor, has called a press conference. We take you there live now." A holo image of Meta appears on the screen:

"Races of the UP and AP, I have watched with growing apprehension as each race has lost more and more of their genetic and cultural identities. The intermixing has become a serious problem that so long as the races intermingle and intermarry, will only become critical.

Unless something is done to correct this problem, many if not most of the races will become culturally sterile and genetically extinct! The only solution is for all interspecies marriages to be outlawed! At the very least, the participants in such unions should be sterilized!

I call on the ruling councils of the UP and AP to enact measures to correct this problem. If they fail to do this, then each planets governing body should enact these measures on a local level. Only then will the continued existence of each individual race as an individual race be assured. I thank you all for your time. Good night."

Condo Arlik reappears: "Umm, a very provocative, yet thought-provoking message from Meta. We will of course continue to follow this story as it develops. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress."

The various occupants of the room react with varying degrees of anger, disgust, and disbelief.

"X'Hal! How can anyone still believe in such garbage!!"

"Oh Gods! We have to do something before this separatist garbage spreads throughout the two alliances! Querl, our baby's safety could depend on it!"

"HELL AND DAMNATION!!! I'm going to enjoy breaking every bone in his body!!"

"Calm down, Lar, you need a plan to beat him with a minimum of damage, my love!"

Risa interrupts: "Lar, Legionnaires, Titans, I've been using the Daxamite materials in the Pilgrim's replicators to create replicas of the weapons the Titans use. These will be effective against Meta. I've also replicated Daxamite stunguns, enough for each of you. Meta must be stopped, before he can do even more irreparable harm!"

"Agreed. Great Neptune, if Meta attracts fanatics to his cause, we're going to have four major problems. Tasmia, Laurel, Dolphin, and Linda, as living symbols of the, umm, 'problem,' will become walking targets!"

"Take it easy, Garth! My Lian is also an, er, living symbol so we'll have five possible targets! And I'm NOT letting anything happen to my daughter! NO WAY IN HELL!!!"

"ENOUGH!!!" Lar looks around the room. Satisfied that he has everyone's attention he continues : "All right, now let's all calm down! We need a plan to stop Meta with a minimum of damage! Sure I could most likely take the bastiche in a fight, but not without leveling the Gods alone know how many blocks of the city!

"So the safest, least damaging way is to neutralize Meta's powers before he has a chance to destroy anything! Now, Risa, is the damping field technology you developed earlier adaptable to this situation? Can you make a projector that will cover, umm, a four block area?"

"Yes, easily Lar, when do you want it?"

"As soon as possible the sooner the better! Ohh and locate Lobo!! We're going to need that psycho before this is over!"

"B-but I thought you and Lobo hate each other! How can that maniac be of use? And how will you get him to cooperate?"

"Simple, my love, I'm going to kick his butt from here to Khundia! Then by his code he'll be honor bound to do whatever I tell him to do!! "

"Speaking of Khundia, Lar that's where Lobo is! I located him there, wreaking havoc because the Khunds wiped out his 'fishies' back in the mid-twenty fifth century."

"All right, I'll go, umm, persuade Lobo to cooperate. Risa, have the damping field projector ready when I get back!"

"Be careful, my love, Lobo is not going to want to cooperate with us!"

"Umm, honey, I'm not planning on giving him the option of refusing! But I'll be careful, just for you, OK?" Lar kisses his wife good-bye then leaves.

"C'mon Titans, we better get back to Workforce HQ and keep an eye on Meta."

"Sure Dick, Lian's getting sleepy, so we're ready to go."

"Well, 'bye everyone. Don't worry Tasmia, I'm sure Lar will be fine! If he couldn't fight well my sister certainly wouldn't have... Oh X'Hal, when will I learn to think before I speak!"

"Ohh, that's all right, Kory! After all he married me in two ceremonies! That's all I care about!"

"Right you are, Tasmia! Nothing proves a man's commitment and love like getting married! And I'm sure Lar is going to defeat both Lobo and Meta! He's been giving me lessons in Daxam's martial arts, and I can assure you, he's at least as good at Daxam's arts as I am at Earth's!"

"Thank you for the reassurance, Val, I'm well aware of his skills! He's a true perfectionist, whatever skill he decides to acquire, he isn't satisfied until he's the best there is! I sometimes worry about that, he can be so hard on himself! But I love the big lug!"

Three days later, Lar returns with an unconscious Lobo draped over his shoulder. He's still bruised and his uniform is in tatters, but Lobo's are even worse.

"Ancestors! You look like you've been in a war! Are you all right? Let me get the Medi-kit we brought from Daxam! That should heal you quickly. Is Lobo going to need anything?"

"Just a shot to counter the sedative I gave him so he'd sleep until I got him back here. His Czarian recuperative powers are even greater than mine."

###########################################

Later: "Hey, Large Gland, what do you want from me? Blasted bastiche you. You beat me! You won! So what is it you want from me?"

"Simple, Lobo, I want you to stay here and protect five females, four women and a little girl! I'm expecting some trouble, and I know you can handle it. I don't know exactly how many you'll have to fight, though that's never bothered you has it?

"OHH yes, and while I'd prefer you not kill any of them, I don't care how badly you hurt them. And if it's, umm, necessary to kill, well, just try to keep the body count down to a minimum. Though you can break as many bones as you like. Hell, do whatever it takes to keep your five charges safe and unharmed!"

"Let me get this straight. I can do whatever I fragging please to the bastiches? Maim, cripple, dismember to my little heart's content? Even kill if necessary? Care to define necessary?"

"If the choice is kill or allow any harm to come to your charges, that's the definition of necessary! I don't care if you leave them all armless, legless or paralyzed for life! Just keep my wife, cousin, and three friends safe and unharmed!"

"Just how will I know who to frag? You got any holo-pics, scent traces? Anything?"

"No, but the alarm system will sound, and the automatic defense systems will come on line!"

At that moment Omen appears with the rest of the Titans. They've obviously been on the losing side of a battle. Lar has Omen teleport them to the Medical area of the HQ. After the Titans' injuries have been treated Dick tells the tale: "Meta is definitely White Triangle! He brought a dozen of them to Workforce HQ. He's got Lian and Dolphin! He's insane, renting about 'genetic purity.' We tried to stop them, but with the element of surprise on their side, we couldn't. We owe Risa an apology, should've taken the weapons and equipment when she offered it! Might've given a better accounting of ourselves! At the least we could have stopped them from taking Lian and Dolphin hostage!"

Risa interrupts Dick: "Lar, we're receiving a communique from Meta, he wants to talk to you. Shall I route it here or to your quarters?"

"Since everyone here is interested in what he has to say, umm, here will be fine, Risa."

Meta appears on the vid-screen: "Ahh, M'Onel, I see my former teammates went running like the genetrash they ar..."

"Skip the racist garbage, Roxxas. Yes, I know who you are under that stupid mask, and it's not Valor!! What do you want?"

"H-how do you know-- never mind. If you want to see the child and the female alive again, meet me in the ruins of Midway City in one hour, and come alone! After I'm finished with you, I'll take care of that misbegotten spawn your harlot cousin and 'wife' are carrying within them! Neither dams nor spawns will survive to pollute Daxam!"

"Ooh, I'll be there all right, don't worry! But you scum, won't be getting anywhere near Laurel, my wife, or our babies! Except over my dead body!!"

"AAHH, but that's my intention, Legionnaire!"

"Well, better than you have been trying to get that job done for a very long time,and I'm still here!! And I'm not going anywhere! But I'll send you somewhere, and I'm going to enjoy doing it!!!" Meta abruptly disappears from the screen.

Moments later in the main meeting hall the assembled members of both teams are arguing how to handle Meta's threats: "X'Hal! You can't mean to just do as he demands, Lar! It's suicide!"

I'm not suicidal, Kory! But I have to go alone! It's the only way to save Lian and Dolphin!"

"Lar, Kory is right! And the baby and I need you!"

"I said I had to go alone, Tas, not be alone! I've got a plan, and if you'll all calm down, I'll outline it for you!

"Now I know Midway City's beyond Gates' range. Lilith, can you teleport a team of ten, plus yourself? Risa, the Pilgrim IV is in a parked orbit, use her scanners to analyze Midway City's radiation levels, and try to locate the exact location of Lian and Dolphin. And if the radiation isn't high enough to interfere with the ship's teleportation system teleport them out of there."

"Excuse me for interrupting you, but while I can teleport myself and ten others to Midway City, why are you having Risa check for radia-- ooh, never mind I just realized the unfortunate answer!"

"Sorry, Lar, the radiation is too high to get a solid fix on the hostages, though it is low enough to be safe to go there for a short period of time, I'd still recommend taking protective measures against getting radiation poisoning."

"Right, Risa, Lilith; now I'll go in openly, while Meta's attention is centered on me, you teleport the team as close to them as you can. While I'm dealing with Meta, and the team handles his compatriots, you teleport them back here to Legion HQ."

"X'Hal, sounds like a fine plan! Let's do it!"

"Glad you think so, Kory. Because the team I have in mind consists of you, Donna, Cee Cee, Jeka, Jazmin, Thom, Val, Jo, Candi, and Lilith. With Val as team leader. Val, I've got some hand weapons from Daxam you can use, if you want. Just remember all of you, Meta is mine!

"And Kory, try not to kill anyone unless you have to! Maim, cripple to your Tamaranean warrior heart's content, but please keep the body count to a minimum!

"Jeka, use your illusions to conceal the team's presence, and after you get Lian and Dolphin out of there, create the illusion that they're still there! That should keep Meta and his crew in Midway City, there we won't have to worry about property damage or innocent bystanders! Its been deserted for centuries. Any questions or suggestions?

"Don't bother asking to go, Roy, Garth; you're too emotionally involved! And at the risk of insulting you, you're not up to taking on a fully powered Daxamite one on one! Let's get going, the sooner we get this over with, the sooner we'll have Lian and Dolphin back and Meta were he belongs!"

As the chosen team leaves the hall, Tasmia blocks her husband from leaving. "Remember your promise, Lar!"

"I'll remember, Tas, you take care of yourself and the baby. And try not to worry all right? I'm not the one who's going to be, umm, permanatly affected, physically at least, by this battle."

"C'mere, MMMMMMMM, that's for luck, and there'll be a lot more than just a kiss waiting for you when you get back. Make sure you're, umm, up for it, all right?"

"Ooh, I'll be up for it, Tas! You can count on it!"

  Part 2

M'Onel and Umbra's quarters:

Lar is rummaging in his storage compartment, looking for the hand weapons for Karate Kid to use in the coming battle. "Ahh, here they are." He hands them to Val, several weapons, similar to Earth's in form and function with one difference. "The weapons are set to deliver a stun charge when you hit the opponent. You do remember how to increase the charge? They're set on heavy stun now, but you can increase the charge a little more without killing, but make sure the one you hit is a Daxamite! Even the lowest setting will kill a non-Daxamite, so be certain of the species of the one you hit. We better get going."

############################################

The ruins of Midway City forty minutes later:

"I'M HERE, ROXXAS, YOU BASTICHE! WHERE ARE LIAN AND DOLPHIN!"

"Here we are, race traitor! Now we can get down to business. You and their deaths, then the other two and their unnatural spawn!"

"Nothing unnatural about the babies, jerk! We didn't do anything technological to cause conception! We just forgot to use the technological means to prevent conception!"

Via telepathic ear plug Val tells Lar: "Distracting him by verbal sparing is fine, but you need to get him away from them. Jeka can't do her illusions while Roxxas is so close! He'll know something's up!"

"Agreed, I'll get him away from them right now!" Aloud: "Enough talk Roxxas!" Lar flies and knocks Roxxas away from his friends.

*WHAM* *THWACK* *CRASH* The two punch and kick each other, Lar steadily driving Roxxas farther from the prisoners.

"Lar, we've gotten Lian and Dolphin away, but there are no other White Triangle operatives here. Roxxas came alone!"

"Thanks, Jeka, you all head back to HQ. I can handle Roxxas!"

"Very well, but be careful, Lar!"

"Don't worry, Jeka, I will! Just go!"

The rest of the team leaves, as they do, Jeka's illusion fades. Roxxas is furious when he realizes his hostages are gone. "What?! Where are they?! I'll kill you all!" Roxxas swings wildly at Lar, but misses when Lar sidesteps. Roxxas attempts a roundhouse kick, but Lar dodges. *CRACK* Lar grabs and twists the leg, breaking the knee.

*AAARRRGGGHHH* Roxxas screams with pain. "Here, Roxxas, have some knuckle anesthetics." *POW* A right cross knocks Roxxas unconscious; tossing him over his shoulder, Lar flies back to Legion HQ.

############################################

Meanwhile at Legion HQ a small war is being waged:

"Great Neptune! We're in trouble! Lar was right about our not being a match for fully powered Daxamites!"

"Jan, turn the kryptonite in their blood to iron! That will render them vulnerable to lead. And if Risa will cooperate. Risa unit! You must deploy the damping field projectors now! And don't tell me you can only obey Lar!!"

"Since the safety of his wife and unborn child is at stake, very well, Querl. I will deploy the damping fields at once!"

At that moment the team from Midway City appears: "X'Hal! Lilith, get Lian and Dolphin out of here!" *SKREEEEE* Kory blasts the Daxamite flying toward Lian and Dolphin.

"Brainy, I tried to change the kryptonite to iron, but they're surrounded by some kind of force field! It's blocking my power! At least it didn't block Kory's starburst blast. Lian and Dolphin are safe for now!"

"Lilith, Lobo is with Tasmia, Laurel and Linda in the commissary, teleport Lian and Dolphin there!"

"At once, Querl." The three vanish.

"Blast it, why aren't they losing their powers!"

"Analysis shows that the same force field that blocks Jan is also countering the damping field effect, Querl! I'm transporting the weaponry I replicated to you now, Legionnaires, Titans! You have to stop them! There are too many of them for even Lobo to defeat!"

"Thanks Risa! Though I'm not sure about using sticks against these guys!"

"Then use the stunner, Dick! It's a longer range weapon!"

"I don't use guns, Risa!"

"Then I suggest you get to the commissary, Dick!"

At that moment Lar arrives with the still unconscious Roxxas. "Gods and Demons! Thom, use your power on them! Keep at it until their strength goes! Risa, try to counter whatever they're using to counter the damping field!"

"I've been trying, Lar! Just haven't succeeded yet!"

"Risa, transport Roxxas aboard the Pilgrim. Lock him in the brig. Set the artificial gravity in the cell at nearly twice Daxam's! That should hold the bastiche!"

"Of course, Lar. Do you want me to attend to his broken knee or let him suffer?"

"Hell! Attend to his knee, then lock him in tight! Then replicate some anesthetic gas that's absorbed thru the skin, using the Daxamite chemicals aboard the Pilgrim! And transuits made of Daxamite materials for us!"

"Yes, Lar, consider it done!"

Roxxas disappears. Within minutes the anesthetic canisters and transuits appear. "Wally, the transuits!" Wally grabs the suits and puts them on all the Legionnaires and Titans. At the same time Lar releases the anesthetic. "Hellfire! Their forcefield's blocking it! But Thom got some of them. Risa, any progress countering their forcefields?"

"Not yet, Lar, look out behind you!"

He backhands the attacker. *CRACK* "Umm, think I broke his jaw. Guess we're going to have to deal with these jerks one on one. Risa, how many of these Nassheads are there?"

"There are thirty of them, Lar. I suggest you don't hold back!"

"I wasn't planning on holding back, Risa. Damn, how could this many of them get off Daxam? It sure as hell wasn't thru proper channels! Look out, Roy!"

Lar intercepts Roy's would-be attacker. *THWACK* A kick to the side of his head renders him unconscious. "Risa, transport this one to the brig of the Pilgrim."

"Yes, Lar, same as the other one you knocked out and Roxxas, but the Pilgrim's brig isn't large enough to hold them all, Lar."

"Hmm, I'm going to try something. Risa, can you pinpoint their forcefield projectors?"

"Yes, Lar, it's in their belts."

"Fine, Jan be ready to change the kryptonite in their blood to iron." Lar concentrates, suddenly the attackers' belts fly off their waists. "Now, Jan, do it now!"

"Right, Lar, it's done!"

"YEEHAH, the dampers should work on them now! Let's take these turkeys!"

"You got it, Roy! By X'Hal, we'll teach these fools not to mess with the Titans or the Legion!"

Without their powers, the battle is quickly over. Standing amid the unconscious attackers: "Risa, rig a damping field in the Legion brig, transport these fools into it, then contact the Science Police to come get them! And make thirty-one of the portable damping field projectors, similar to the one you made for Tasmia, except these should lock onto them! Then the SP's can take these scum!"

"Lar! Roxxas has escaped the Pilgrim IV and transported into the commissary!"

"HELL AND DAMNATION!!" Lar disappears, headed for the commissary, the rest following as best they can.

############################################ In the commissary:

"Ancestors! What's happening out there? Why haven't we heard anything?"

"Relax Tas, I'm sure we'll hear something soon!"

"I hope so Laurel, this waiting is driving me mad! I wish Wally would come and tell us something!"

"I'm sure Wally and the others will be here soon Linda."

"Not soon enough to save you and your unnatural spawn, Laurel!"

"ROXXAS! W-What are you...where's Lar?! What have you done to my husband, you animal!!"

"The same thing I'll do to all of you, Talokite trash!"

"FRAG IT!! Much as the man loves murder and mayhem, I got my orders! Soo I guess you're the one I gotta frag!!"

"I think not, genescum! *FAWHOOSH*

*AARRGGHH* Lobo screams as Roxxas begins to burn him. Laurel jumps Roxxas from behind: "Tas! Get the others out of here now!"

"Ahh Laurel! How could you have sunk so far beneath you? No matter, you and your spawn die, now!"

Roxxas tosses her off him: "Yes, I shall enjoy this! So kind of your cousin to leave the replicators of his ship open to anyone. Made replicating this so easy, almost too easy!" He waves a long-bladed knife. "Ohh yes, I will certainly enjoy this!"

"Not as much as I will! Get out of here Laurel, NOW!! Tell the others to stay out of here too!"

Laurel hesitates, seeing Roxxas slashing at Lar with the knife. Dodging the knife, Lar kicks it, sending it skittering across the room. Laurel rushes to Lobo; picking him up she flies to the Medi-center wing of HQ.

"Damn you! Once I finish you, I'll finish the rest!"

"You couldn't get the job done in Midway City, and you sure as hell won't do it now!"

*POW* *THWACK* *THWACK* *WHOMP* The two fight on, punching and kicking, Roxxas all the while trying to retrieve his knife.

"Ohh, no, no weapons, Roxxas! Just the two of us, hand to hand!" Lar dodges a poorly thrown punch. *CRACK* He connects with Roxxas' jaw, stunning him.

"Daddy, are you in here? Daddy, where are you? What's happening?"

"Lian, come back here! Don't go in there! Daddy's not in there!"

Laurel rushes to get Lian out of the commissary, and out of harm's way. At the same instant Roxxas unleashes a blast of laser vision at Lian.

"LOOK OUT, LIAN! AAIIIEEE!"

"LAUREL, NOOOOO!!!" *THWACK* "That's it Roxxas! You're never hurting another soul! I swear it!"

At that moment Wally, Roy, and Donna arrive, looking for Lian. "Wally, get Laurel to the medi-wing and Querl! Donna, get Lian and Roy out of here! I'll deal with Roxxas!"

"You got it, Lar! I'll get her to Brainy ASAP!" Wally picks up Laurel and they disappear. Roy grabs Lian even as Donna grabs him and flies from the room.

############################################

Legion HQ Medi-Center wing:

Brainy and Tasmia are in the Medi-Center preparing to handle any injuries incurred during the fighting. They don't expect the figures who suddenly appear in the room: "BRAINY! Lian wandered into the commissary! Roxxas tried to burn her, but Laurel took the blast! She's hurt bad!"

"Put her on the Medi-bed, Wally!" The readout is upsetting. "DAMN! She has severe burns to the abdomen, and internal injuries! She'll lose the baby, unless-- Tasmia, get on the other bed, blast it I can't do this alone! I need Lar's help!"

"B-but Brainy, he hasn't finished dealing with Roxxas yet!"

"Well, Wally, the rest of you will have to deal with Roxxas! Lar has to help me save the baby!!"

"Ancestors, Querl, talk sense! Why am I on this-- HELLFIRE! You're going to transfer Laurel's to me?! Is it possible? W-what about my baby?"

"It's both possible to do and perfectly safe for you and your baby Tasmia, but I can't do it alone! It's a two Meditech procedure and Lar's the only other Meditech here!"

"FRAG IT ALL! Is Roxxas the bastiche that burned me?"

"Yes, he is, why?"

Lobo gets off the Medi-bed: "Because, Greenie, I'll go frag him, and Large Gland can c'mere ta do whatcha need him ta do. Gimme yer force field belt, that'll keep the bastiche from burning me again, won't it?"

"Yes, Of course, it will protect you from his laser vision!" Querl puts the belt on Lobo and quickly explains the basics of operating the forcefield.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it! Now lemme go frag the bastiche!" Lobo leaves, moments later he enters the commissary: "HEY LARGE GLAND! THE GREEN GEEK NEEDS YOU TO HELP HIM SAVE THE BLONDE'S BABY! LEAVE THIS BASTICHE TO ME!!"

"WHAT!?! Fine Lobo, he's all yours! Just, umm, don't kill him, if you can avoid it."

"Yeah, sure, get outta here and let the man do what he does best!"

Lar leaves Roxxas to the tender mercies of Lobo. Arriving at the Medi-Center: "All right, Querl, what do you want me to do? Tas, why are you on the... Ohh, I get it! So are you ready to do the transfer?"

"Almost, you start prepping Tasmia to receive the embryos. We won't be disturbed, the others are all busy getting the prisoners ready for the Science Police"

"Right, this shouldn't take long. Just relax Tas, this won't hurt you or the babies." "Well, at least now Brainy won't have to play any hypnotic tricks on Dr. Gym'll!"

"HAHAHA, that's my lady! Always looking on the bright side!" Lar activates the hypno-anesthetic field.

"All right, Querl, you ready? I've got Tas prepped."

"Yes, extracting now. Come get them, while you implant them in Tasmia, I'll treat Laurel's burns and other injuries."

"Right, Brainy. Let's do it!" Lar takes the embryos and implants them, he then deactivates the field.

"Umm, Lar, is everything all right?"

"Yes, Tas, according to the readout, you and the babies are fine. How's Laurel doing, Querl?"

"I-I'm fine, Lar. What happened? Are the babies all right?"

"They are fine Laurel, but they're in Tasmia now. We had to transfer them."

"Ohh, I see. *SNIFF* What's that Gods awful smell?"

*SNIFF* "Ohh, Gods! I better go see what Lobo's doing! Especially if it's what I think it is!" Lar disappears.

############################################

While Lar and Querl were saving Laurel and the twins, in the commissary:

"All right, bastiche, I owe ya a major fraggin' for burning me! And I < i>always pay my debts of fraggin'!! I enjoy fragging not being fragged!!" *THOOM* *THWACK* "I'm goin' ta rip your arms off and beat you with 'em, fragger!! *THWACK* "Then I'm gonna roast 'em for lunch!!" *CRACK*

"AAAARRRRGGGHHH!"

"That's one arm, fragger!!" *THUD* *THUD* *CRACK*

"AAAIIIEEE!!!"

"And that's the other!" *THOOM* *THUD* *CRACK*

"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"

"Aww, did I break the fraggers leggie weggie? Let's try it again!" *CRUNCH*

"AAIIEE!!"

"YER SCREAMS ARE MUSIC TO THE MAN'S EARS! Ain't had this much fun in too long, but all this fraggin's given the man the munchies, soo time to cook the arms, and let's see what else these Legion dweebs have."

Lobo ransacks the commissary: "Nothing, not even a beer! Frag it, guess I'll hafta make do!" *RIP*

"AHHHHH!!!"

*RIP*

"AHHHHH!!!"

"Well, arms and legs'll have ta do! Large Gland'll have a fit if I take yer eyes and family jewels too, though I do love the taste of eyeballs and testicles!"

Lobo begins to cook the limbs. Lar rushes in:

"LOBO, WHAT THE BLOODY NASS ARE YOU-- GODS AND DEMONS!! Y-YOU'RE COOKING ROXXAS!?!"

"Just his arms and legs, Large Gland. I'm hungry an' I don't eat the crud in yer pantry!"

"Never mind, I'll take what's left of Roxxas to treat his, umm, injuries."

"You do that, Large Gland, me I'd let 'im fraggin' bleed to death!"

"Well, I'm not you, Lobo! And I thank the Gods for that!"

Lar carries Roxxas to the Medi-Center wing.

"Ancestors! What happened to him!?!"

"Lobo did, the smell, Laurel, is, umm, his arms and legs; Lobo's cooking them for, umm, his lunch! Get Laurel, ahh, something to, umm... she's turning a deeper shade of green than you are!"

"Here, Laurel, let me--"

"UUUAAGGHHHHHH!"

"Well, that was an experience I could have foregone!"

"OOOHHHH! I-I'm sorry Querl, but I-I think I'm going to--"

"IN THE CONTAINER, LAUREL!"

While he helps her, Lar tends to Roxxas: "Damn, Lobo is the same sadistic bastiche he always has been! Couldn't reattach the limbs, even if he wasn't eating the bloody things! Maybe the med-techs on Daxam will be able to regenerate the limbs or attach prosthetics. Though if anyone deserves to go thru life limbless it's this bastiche!"

"Ancestors, Lar you always said Lobo was a lunatic psychopath! But this, eating Roxxas limbs for lunch!! OOHH, I think I'm going to--"

"Here Tas, in here--"

"UUAAGGHH!"

"--that's it, take it easy, honey." He strokes her hair away from her face. "You feel better? Want to rinse out your mouth? C'mon, let's get you cleaned up and you can lie down in bed. You need any help with Laurel? No? Good. Risa, transport Roxxas to the Pilgrims Med-bay, keep him sedated until the SPs want him."

"Yes, Lar, consider it done!"

Moments after Roxxas disappears: "WHERE'S ROXXAS!?!"

"Calm down, Jan, he's sedated in the Pilgrim's Med-bay. Lobo, umm, ripped off his arms and legs, and he's eating them for lunch."

"L-Lobo's eating Roxxas' arms and legs!?! Y-you are joking, aren't you, Lar?"

"Er, Jan, I know I don't have a great sense of humor, but I don't have a sick one, either! Lobo is, at this moment in the commissary. He's having Roxxas' limbs for lunch! Apparently, the healing of his burns, and then the fight with Roxxas, gave him quite an appetite! If you don't believe me, go see for yourself!!"

"BY MY ANCESTORS! Will you two please stop talking about it!?! I do not want to throw up again! And I'm sure Laurel feels the same way!"

"OHH, GODS! Yes!! Please let's drop the whole subject!"

"Sorry, honey, Laurel, we'll drop the subject! How are you feeling, Laurel? Brainy explained what we had to do?"

"Yes, Lar, he did. I'm just glad the babies are all right!"

"Well, I still want Dr. Gym'll to check you both out later, but all the readings show everything is fine!"

At that moment Legion Liaison officer Shavaughn Erin enters the room: "All right, my fellow SPs have most of the prisoners, but Nightwing tells me Meta is really Roxxas! And you have him in custody?"

"Right, Risa, transport some SPs to the Pilgrim's brig to take custody of the prisoners there, and transport Roxxas here in, umm, five minutes, so Brainy and I can have a final look at his wounds. After we do that, he's all yours, Shauvaughn!"

"As you wish, Lar, consider it done!"

"What wounds can an invulnerable Daxamite have!?!"

"Shavaughn, let me get Tasmia settled in our quarters, then I'll answer all your questions!"

"Yes, that will be fine, Lar."

"Querl, I want to go to our quarters! I don't want to see Roxxas or hear the whole sordid story again!!"

"Yes, of course, Laurel. You will excuse us, Officer Erin? I'll return after I get Laurel settled. My wife was badly injured by Roxxas, she needs to rest!"

"Yes, that will be fine, Brainiac 5.1"

"Jan, are you all right? I know this must be hard on you."

"Yes, but I'll be all right, it's hard to believe though!"

"What is, Jan? That Meta is Roxxas?"

"No, Officer Erin, that he's captured and virtually helpless!"

"Helpless!?!"

"Yes, Officer, as you will see when I transport him here from the Pilgrim."

"Ohh, very well. Risa... ahh, back already, Lar, Brainiac 5.1. Jan has been telling me Roxxas is helpless. Would you mind explaining?"

They explain.

"SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! L-Lobo ate-- OOOHHH, I think I'm going to--"

"Here, Shauvaghn, in here!"

"UUAAGGHH! OOH, thank you, Lar! I needed that! Eeeww, my mouth tastes like--"

"Here, Officer Erin, you can rinse your mouth over here."

"Thank you Brai--"

"Lar, are you and Querl ready to inspect Roxxas' wounds?"

"Yes, Risa." Roxxas appears on the Medi-bed.

"Gods! Lobo really did a number on him! Though it's no more than he deserves!"

"True, Lar, but the Risa unit did a fine job of sedating him and maintaining your previous treatment of the wounds. Lobo must be nearly as strong as you are! He ripped the legs off at the hip!!"

"He is, Querl, I'm just glad this is over! You can take him into custody now."

*GROAN* "Wh-where am I? Why can't move my limbs-- RAO HELP ME! That maniac ripped them off of me! Damn you, M'Onel, why didn't you reattach them!?!"

"Couldn't, Roxxas, Lobo cooked and ate them!"

"HE WHAT!?!?! AND YOU LET HIM!! DAMN YOU ALL!! I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE!!"

"OH, SHUT UP, ROXXAS!! IT'S BETTER THAN YOU DESERVE, YOU BASTICHE!!! YOU BUTCHERED MY PEOPLE, DAMN YOU TO ALL THE HELLS!!"

"CALM DOWN, BOTH OF YOU!! Jan, he's not worth it! As for you Roxxas, just be glad you didn't lose even more body parts! It's a miracle he didn't take your eyes and genitalia. Not to mention your internal organs!! Frankly, I fully intended to leave you a hopeless quadriplegic!"

"Well on that note, I'll just take him to SP HQ. Bye all of you. Lar, Brainiac, I'm glad the babies are all right. Though I'm sorry that Tasmia's carrying both of them now."

"Bye, Shauvaughn, thanks for everything. See you later."

The End?