Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, DC Comics does. This is done just for the fun of it, no money involved at all!!
CAST: Superboy (Clark Kent/Kal-El), Mon-El (Bob Cobb/Lar Gand), Shadow Lass (Betsy Norcross/Tasmia Malor), Duo Damsel (Marie Elkins/Luornu Durgo), Lana Lang, Jonathan Kent (Pa/Jon), Martha Kent (Ma), Mrs. Lang,
Prof. Lewis Lang, Pete Ross
Setting/Era: Classic Adventure Comics, issues #369 and 370, to be exact! Superboy, Mon-El, Shadow Lass and Duo Damsel are hiding out in Superboy's time from Mordru the Merciless. Shady is posing as exchange student Betsy Norcross and staying with the Langs, Mon-El is again posing as the Kent's 'nephew' Bob Cobb, and Duo Damsel is posing as Marie Elkins, the second cousin of Police Chief Parker's wife. Since Clark and Lana have a movie date, Clark volunteers Bob to take Lana's guest Betsy! This is the story of Mon's reaction to Clark playing matchmaker and the consequences!
Twentieth Century Smallville:
Clark, Lana, Betsy, and Marie are walking home from school. "Clark, don't forget our movie date tonight!"
"I won't. I was thinking, my cousin Bob Cobb is in town. He can take Betsy! We'll make it a double date!"
"Well, this is were I leave you, enjoy yourselves tonight!"
All three: "Bye Marie, see you tomorrow!"
The three head for home; Bob catches up to Clark and the two girls: "Hi, Clark, Lana."
"Umm, Bob, this is Betsy Norcross, she's staying with us for a while."
"Yeah, Bob, Lana and I have a movie date tonight and I, eeerr, volunteered you to take Betsy!"
"Ohh, you did? Well, pleased to meet you Betsy. I'll be glad to take you to the movie, if you really want to go!"
"Yes, it, eerr, sounds like fun! I'm, eerr, looking forward to it!"
"Great! I'm sure we'll all have fun!"
They arrive at the Langs: "Well, c'mon, Betsy! We need to finish our homework before our date! See you boys at six!"
"Sure, Lana, see you then. C'mon, Bob, I have homework and chores before the movie!"
"Right behind you, Clark!"
##########################
A few hours later in the Kent house:
"Well, Jonathan, Clark, dinner's almost ready. Clark, don't you have a date tonight?"
"Yes Ma, I'm taking Lana to the movies,and Mo, eerr, Bob is taking Shad, eerr, Betsy!"
"Careful, son, you have to remember the names right! When did Bob ask her? I don't reckon he had the time to ask her."
"Actually, Pa I, eerr, volunteered him to take her."
"CLARK! You had NO right to do that! How would you like it if he had done such a thing to you!?!"
"B-but, Pa, he didn't object or anything!"
"Was Betsy there when you informed him he had been drafted for a date tonight?"
"Well, yes, Pa but I-- oohh, I get it! He wouldn't refuse, he wouldn't want to hurt her feelings! B-but Pa I'm sure he really likes her! He just, well, he just doesn't know how to show it!"
"All right, son, but you still owe him an apology! I know you meant well, but you had no business doing it!"
"Yes, sir, I know it. I-I just want him to be happy again, that's all, Pa!"
"OOHH, Clark! Your Pa and I realize that! We want that too! We've seen the same sadness in his eyes, and noticed the change in him! But there's a limit to what anyone else can do to change that!"
"I know, Ma, Pa, but don't you see!?! It was my fault he had to go into the Phantom Zone! So it's my responsibility to try to undo the damage!"
"That's, umm, what is the correct term? A load of bull? You didn't know the lead would be deadly to me! I've never blamed you, so why do you keep blaming yourself?"
"Because it was my stupid trick that caused your lead poisoning! If I'd trusted you, it wouldn't have happened!"
"WRONG, CLARK! Sooner or later it WOULD have!! I had amnesia, remember? I couldn't remember the danger lead is to me, so as common as lead is, I was a disaster waiting to happen! It was just pure bad luck that the metal the balls you used were made of lead. Now you better calm down, or Lana's going to wonder what's bothering you, and we don't want that now do we?" "No, we sure don't. I'm sorry I dragged you into going to the movies tonight!"
"Hey, you're not dragging me anywhere, you couldn't; I'm stronger than you are! If I didn't want to go, I wouldn't! I, umm, overheard a lot of the conversation, before I came in, you're right, Clark. I do like her a lot, but, umm, she likes someone else! At least I think she does."
"I doubt that, son, she agreed to the date, after all! You're a fine young man, any girl would have to be well plumb loco to prefer someone else to you!"
HaHaHa, you're good for my ego, Mrs. Kent! But I'm not exactly every girl's dream come true!"
"Nonsense! Martha's right! Any girl would be foolish to let a fine young man like you go. If you really like her, GO GET HER, SON!"
"I'll, eer, think about it, sir, but I've never had much luck were girls are concerned! I was always too busy with my studies and such!"
"That was then, dear, this is now, no reason you can't, well, relax a little and enjoy yourself!"
"I'll try, Mrs. Kent, but it's her decision, too."
"Well, just go to the movie and let whatever happens, happen. You never know, this could be the start of something wonderful! But for now, dinner should be ready. I hope you like pot roast." They all go to the dining room.
The Kent dining room:
"That was great, Mrs. Kent. C'mon, Clark, let's clean this up, then we've got to go get the girls."
"Sure, Bob, but no powers, remember?"
"That's all right, boys, you help Ma clear the table. I'll help her do the dishes."
After they finish clearing the table, they leave.
Next door at the Lang's:
"Hi, Mrs. Lang, are Lana and Betsy ready?"
"Not quite, Clark, come in boys; I'll go upstairs and tell them you're here."
"Hello, Clark, umm, Bob, isn't it?"
"Yes, sir, Mr. Lang."
"So, what movie are you three going to see? Remember there's school tomorrow."
"Errol Flynn in Robin Hood, sir."
"Ahh, here they come; well, enjoy the show, all of you."
"We will, sir, m'am. Bye."
The four leave for the theatre.
In the lobby , they are in line to buy sodas, popcorn, and hot dogs. Betsy whispers to Bob: "Eerr, the hot dogs aren't really made of dog meat, are they?"
"No, they aren't, don't worry. But remember, this movie is about a very well known legend here. So don't let Lana realize you never heard it before."
"Thank you for the warning, I might well have made the error of revealing my ignorance of it!"
"C'mon, you two, the movie's about to start!"
Both: "Coming, Lana."
####################################
Later, walking out of the movie theatre:
"OOHH, that Errol Flynn is so handsome! Don't you think so, Betsy?"
"Yes, very, Lana, and quite a good actor. He did a wonderful job as Robin Hood! His sword fighting is quite good."
"Hey, the Soda Shoppee is still open! Do you girls want to get a malted shake or something?"
"Sure, Clark, a root beer float sounds fab!"
"A hot rings of Saturn sundae would be quite good!"
"A WHAT!?!"
"A hot fudge sundae, right, Betsy?"
"Y-yes, Bob, that's it!"
"Gosh, Betsy, sometimes you say the strangest things!"
They enter the Shoppee. "Hey, Clark, Lana, Betsy, umm, Bob! What can I get you tonight?"
"Hey, Pete! Lana wants a root beer float, Betsy wants a hot fudge sundae, I'll have a banana split, and, umm, what do you want, Bob?"
"I'll have a chocolate milkshake."
"All right, coming right up!"
The four sit down in a booth to wait for their order. They sit talking about their day; after a few minutes, Pete brings their order. "Here you are. Enjoy!"
All four: "Thanks Pete."
"You're all welcome."
The four enjoy their sweets: "Uum, this is delicious! Reminds me of the frozen creamed scarabs my mother used to make!"
"F-frozen creamed WHAT!?!"
"Uumm, it's a dessert my mother used to make, Lana."
"B-but scarabs are beetles!?!"
"I'm sure that's just what Betsy's mother calls the dessert, Lana!"
"Oh, yes, of course, Bob, that's it, isn't it, Betsy?"
"Yes, that's it exactly, Lana."
"Well, if you're finished, we better get going!"
"Right Clark, you three have school, and I've got brushes to sell." They leave and walk home.
At the Lang's front door:
"Good night, Betsy, Lana. Sleep well. Uumm, Betsy, if you'd like, umm, maybe you and I could, eerr, umm, go somewhere else one night?"
"OOH, YES! I-I'd like that very much, Bob!"
"Great! I'll, eerr, call or see you tomorrow, all right?"
"Good night, Lana, Betsy, see you tomorrow!"
Both girls: "Good night, boys! Thank you for a lovely evening!"
####################################
Later, in the Kent house:
Everyone has been asleep for a while, but Bob's not sleeping peacefully! *Moan* "Noooo, please leave me in peace! No No No No NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"HUH-- WHA-- BOB!! WAKE UP, WHAT'S WRONG!?!"
"LAND SAKES!! Clark, Bob, what's wrong!?!"
"Looks to me like Bob's just had a nightmare, Martha"
"Bob, are you all right? Do you want to talk about it?"
"Unh, no, no, I don't Clark. I-I'm sorry I woke you all up. Please, just go back to bed, I-I'm fine, really!!"
"Martha, Clark, let's do as Bob asks, he doesn't have to talk about it if he doesn't want to!"
"All right, Pa, g'night."
"Jon, shou..."
"Now, Martha, come along."
"G'night again, Clark, Mr. and Mrs. Kent, I'm sorry about waking you all."
"That's all right son. Sleep well this time, dear."
"C'mon, Martha. G'night boys."
Bob waits a few minutes, then goes downstairs to the kitchen. Muttering to himself: "Blasted nitghmares! Don't care what, the psycho-techs say, the less I sleep the better I like it! They're not the ones having to endure the night terrors! Been nearly five years since Brainy released me! And I'm still having night terrors nearly every night! Psycho-techs keep telling me the nightmares will go away someday! Too bad they seem to be wrong!"
The overhead kitchen light suddenly turns on. "Wh-what the--? OOhh, Mrs. Kent! Did I wake you again?"
"No, Bob, I couldn't get back to sleep, when I heard you leave your bedroom, I followed you. I'm worried about you. Y-you just said 'Brainy' released you, d-do you mean Brainiac 5, i-in the thirtieth century!?! C-Clark's never said exactly what year you were released. H-he doesn't know, does he? He thinks you visit the Legion's time from only, well, only a decade or two from this year, doesn't he!?!"
"When he's in the thirtieth century, he knows I was released in that century. But, well, the Legion have, umm, given him a super post-hypnotic suggestion, that causes him to forget everything he learns about his own future. That includes the fact that he will never free me from the Phantom Zone."
"OOHH, Lordy! H-he must never, Bob, please! It-it would break his heart! T-the only reason he can bear his guilt over your being in the Zone is he's positive that he'll release you from it someday!!"
"We know that, m'am, and we've done everything we can to let him keep believing that!"
"Thank you all for that! B-but why do you have such horrible nightmares!?! I know you think that not talking about it to anyone is the way to handle it, but you are wrong there, son!"
"I-I can't talk about it, m'am. I'm sorry, it's just too painful! As for why I have such nightmares, the psycho-techs tell me it's because of a thousand years of sleep deprivation. They've given me meds that, though they don't always prevent the nightmares, do tone them down to a more bearable level. Unfortunately, we left the thirtieth century in a hurry! I don't have them with with me, and I can't get any in this century!"
"Ohh, dear, that is a problem! I'll make you some warm milk, that's what I use."
"Sure, Mrs. Kent, it can't hurt to try."
Martha heats the milk. Bob drinks it, and washes the glass and pot.
"Well, I'm going back to bed son, and you should do the same!"
"G'night, m'am, I'll be up in a while."
"G'night, Bob."
She returns to her bedroom, Jonathan is awake and waiting for her: "Well, Martha, is he all right?"
"Y-yes, Jonathan, h-he's as all right as he'll ever be!"
"Martha, you were down there with him for quite a while, and you're upset! What did you two talk about that upset you so?"
"OOHH, Jonathan!! That poor boy! He-- Jon, he got out of the Phantom Zone in the thirtieth century! Clark's never going to find the cure for him! That green boy, Brainiac 5, he's the one who will finally release him!! Th-the nightmares are from his being in the Phantom Zone, awake, for a thousand years!" *SOB* SOB* "OOHH, Jon! My boys!!" *SOB* "My poor, poor boys!"
"JUMPING JEHOSOHAT! C-Clark must-- Does Clark know?!"
She repeats the explanation Bob gave her.
"Well, thank the Lord for that! It would, well, Clark's guilt is bad enough now! The only reason it hasn't eaten him alive is he's so sure he'll find the cure someday!"
"I know Jon, but, oohh, I wish there was some way to help Bob! I-I tried to get him to talk about it! But he-- he says it's too painful to talk about it! B-but he'll never get over it if he doesn't talk about it!"
"I know Martha, but I guess he just isn't ready yet! But we'll make sure he knows, before he goes back to the Legion, that we'll always love him like a son! And that we're available, when and if he ever wants to talk about it!"
"Ohh, yes! And, well, he did seem happier when the boys came home from their date! I-I really think he cares for her Jon!"
"Well, all we can do is hope for the best and be there for him, whenever he needs us to, Martha. Now let's try to get some sleep!"
"G'night, Jon."
"G'night, Martha."
Kent house, Clark's bedroom:
*YAWN* "Good morning, Bob. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Clark, sorry about last night."
"Hey, it's all right, Bob. Everyone has nightmares, sometimes."
"BOYS, BREAKFAST IS ALMOST READY!!"
"WE'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS SOON, MA!"
"We better get a move on. Don't want to keep your Ma waiting."
"Bob, s-she's your Ma, too, you know."
"I know."
"AHH, here they are! Pancakes, boys! Come and get it!!"
#########################################
Later that day:
"Hey, Clark, how was school? Betsy and Marie are, umm, fitting in all right?"
"Everything was fine, Bob. No problems, though I should have given Betsy more information about this time. Poor kid's scared she'll make a mistake."
"Umm, maybe we could try to get her some more information about this time, that would help."
"Ohh, I almost forgot, there's a dance at school this Friday night. I'm going to ask Lana to go with me."
"That's, umm, nice, err, I think I'll go for a walk."
"Suure, Bob; have a nice one." Bob leaves, Clark rushes to find Martha.
"HEY, Ma!! I told Bob about the dance Friday! I think he's gone to ask Betsy to it!!"
"Land sakes, Clark! That would be wonderful! But don't count on it, just in case you're wrong."
"OK, Ma, but he likes her, I know he does! You'll see! He's going to take her to the dance! I just know it!!"
"I hope you're right son, I surely do!"
Meanwhile, next door at the Lang's:
*BRINNGG* "Oh, hello, Bob, isn't it?"
"Yes, m'am, is Betsy busy? I, um, I'd like to speak to her."
"Yes, come in, I'll get her. Have a seat."
"Yes, m'am, thank you."
"Hello, Bob."
"Hello, sir."
"Come to see Betsy?"
"Yes, sir."
"Hello, Bob, Mrs. Lang said you wanted to speak to me?"
"Yes, Betsy, umm, would you like to take a walk?"
"Yes, I would."
"Betsy, don't be long, dinner will be ready soon!"
"We won't be long, M'am."
#########################################
Outside:
"So Clark tells me that the school's having a dance Friday night."
"Yes, poor Lana's hoping that Superboy will return in time to take her to it!"
*SIGH* "She's going to be, umm, disappointed. Clark is going to ask her, but Superboy won't."
"Yes, poor girl! If she only knew!"
"Well, umm, I was, that is if you want to, eerr, go to the dance, umm, I'd be honored to take you!"
"Why, yes, I'd be happy to go to the dance with you. But, umm, I don't know how to dance, at least, not the dances they'll be dancing!"
"Ohh, that's all right, neither do I! I guess we better try and learn between now and then! I'm sure Clark or Mr. and Mrs. Kent can show us how."
"And Clark can try to reformulate this make-up! If it comes off at the dance..."
"Umm, yes, I'll ask about both at dinner tonight."
"Hey, Betsy! Mom says dinner's ready!"
"Bob! Ma says come and get it!"
"Yes, sir! Well, Betsy, see you later, bye."
"Coming, Lana. See you, Bob, bye."
#########################################
Kent dining room:
"Well, Bob, you and Betsy were looking mighty friendly! What's up?"
"I, eerr, asked her to the dance. Clark, I volunteered you to teach us how to dance, and we need to reformulate her make-up, so it'll be less likely to wipe off during the dance."
"See, Ma!?! I told you he was going to ask her! Sure, I'll teach you the dances, and we'll see what we can do about the make-up!"
"That's great, thanks, Clark!"
"It's going to be fun for you all, and Pa and I will help with the dance lessons. I'm glad you're going to have some fun, Bob. You need more fun in your life!"
"Yes, m'am, I guess you've got a point there!"
Later, after Bob has called Betsy to ask her to come over for dance lessons:
"Well, I've come up with an improved formula for the make-up. How're Bob's dance lessons coming?"
"Well, I've got the foxtrot down pat. But I'm not sure if the jitterbug is going to be, umm, doable? I don't think the make-up will stay in place during it."
"Well, she should be here soon, when she gets here, we'll change her make-up to this new formula, and you two can try to jitterbug here. If she starts sporting patches of blue skin, we'll know to skip the jitterbug lessons!"
*DING DONG*
"Hello, Betsy, c'mon in, Jon and the boys are waiting for you. Clark's made you a new batch of make-up."
"Thank you, m'am"
"C'mon Betsy, let's try the new make-up, then we'll show you and Bob how to jitterbug!"
"Jitterbug!?!"
"It's a dance that's the current favorite among the teenagers, dear."
"Ohh, I see, m'am."
"Ready to change your make-up, Betsy?"
"Yes, Clark." They remove the old, and apply the new.
"OK, Bob, Pa, she's ready. Now we'll see how well the new formula holds up."
"All right, Martha, you and I will jitterbug slowly, while they watch. Then they can try to do it." After the Kents are done demonstrating, Bob and Betsy try it.
"Well, it's a very, umm, interesting dance, but, umm, I'm getting blue splotches all over my arms. So I think we better forget about doing the jitterbug Friday night!"
"Afraid you're right about that Betsy, so let's see how your make-up holds during the foxtrot. After your make-up is repaired, of course."
"Of course, Mr.Kent."
#########################################
"Well, the make-up holds up fine while you do the foxtrot, so I suggest you kids sit out the jitterbugs, and just foxtrot all night."
"Right, Pa, that would be for the best. The last thing we need is for Betsy to have make-up problems in the middle of a crowded dance floor."
"Indeed, I doubt if you'd be able to use your fountain pen to cover for me again, Clark."
"That's for sure, Betsy, we'll just foxtrot Friday night."
"Well, we should have fun. Pete's taking Marie, so we'll all be there!"
"Marie's going!?! She knows the dances!?!"
"Yes, Betsy, she taught me your dances a couple of months ago, and I taught her mine."
"That's wonderful!! I-I felt guilty, going to the movie while she stayed, umm, home."
#########################################
Smalville High School Gym:
The dance is in full swing. The gym is festooned with crepe paper, balloons, and aluminum covered cardboard stars. The crepe paper and balloons are in the school colors of white and crimson.
"So this is a high school dance! The music is quite good, though I prefer more percussive. I do like the, what did Clark call it? Ohh, yes, JAZZ music!"
"Glad you're enjoying yourself, Betsy. They're starting another foxtrot number, do you want to dance?"
"Yes, Bob, it's fun,isn't it!?!"
As he leads her out onto the dance floor:" Yes, it certainly is! We'll have to, umm, do this again, some other time won't we?"
"OOhh, YES!! I-I"d like that very much!" The two dance around the gym, throughly enjoying themselves. Watching from the side of the dance floor, while their dates share a dance together, are Clark and Marie.
"They certainly seem to be enjoying themselves, Clark."
"Yes, they sure are, Marie! Isn't it GREAT!! I haven't seen him looking so so happy since before I caused his lead poisoning! Gosh, I glad he's enjoying this! I hope they keep seeing each other later! Even if they do live in-- you know!"
Marie thinks to herself: "STARS! In this time period he doesn't know Mon lives in the thirtieth century! He thinks he found the cure when he grew up to be Superman! B-but what does he mean? He caused Mon's lead poisoning!?! H-how can that be!?! I-I'll have to ask Mon-El about it, after this is over, and we've gone back home."