EGWENE: Sit down! Tell me, what does your Ajah do to justify its existence?

WHITE: We apply ourselves to logic, Mother.

EGWENE: Marvelous! What have you come up with lately to benefit humanity and improve our public relations problem with the nations of the world? You know, those nasty people who think when we aren't meddling with their lives, we're cloistered here in the Tower amusing ourselves by doing things of no earthly value to anyone at all?

WHITE: Well, mother, after 500 years of rousing debate, we have finally resolved the old problem: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

EGWENE: And?

WHITE: Our consensus was: "WHO CARES? It doesn't matter! Logically, we should stick to problems relating to the experiences and difficulties of actual human beings!"

EGWENE: It took you five hundred years to settle that point for once and for all? I'm afraid to ask what your Ajah has selected as its new favorite problem . . .

WHITE: A very practical one, Mother, with far-reaching consequences for every Sister in times to come! The knotty question of whether or not using the Oath Rod actually shortens our lifespans!

EGWENE: How soon do you expect an answer on that one?

WHITE: Well,.we compiled information on the birthdates of every Tower novice who has not yet held the Oath Rod, and similar statistics for every apprentice Wise One among the Aiel. We propose to have the novices use the Oath Rod, the Wise Ones naturally won't, and then after everybody dies we'll be able to tabulate our results and see which group lived longer, on average!

EGWENE (rubbing her aching forehead): Did you consider compiling such data for the past thousand years, using the records of the Kin and the Wise Ones in contrast to those of the Tower, and reaching some IMMEDIATE conclusions?

WHITE (in a reproachful tone): Mother, that would be most unorthodox! Frankly, we suspect many of the Kin are lying about their ages in order to gain more status among us than they actually deserve. And the Wise Ones . . . they hardly even write things down! They rely on oral tradition! It would be most illogical to assume that their memories are perfect! We only rely upon data we can observe and record for ourselves!

EGWENE: So, in another 300 or 400 years, you may reach a conclusion on whether using the Oath Rod can be dangerous to our longevity?

WHITE (beaming proudly as this stupid Amyrlin finally gets the point): That's right, Mother!

EGWENE: I am seriously considering disbanding your Ajah entirely and starting over fresh. Or at least giving it a new mission. Tell me, have you ever considered applying your logical and analytical skills to practical pursuits such as engineering and mathematics, and perhaps starting a technical school to instruct others in these disciplines so that we can finally achieve a few genuine technological advances after 3000 years of stagnation?

WHITE (blank stare): Teaching? You mean, teaching NORMAL people? What a waste of time! They never live long enough to properly understand anything, anyway!

EGWENE: That's all for now. Dismissed! Send in the Gray Sister, will you? I want to hear what HER Ajah has done lately . . .

Raina's Hold / Raina's Library / Other People's Humour / Renovating the White Tower