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WHITECLOAKS [SETTING: Ishamael's office as Acting CEO of the Darkfriends, in the absence of the Chairman of the Board, Mister Great Lord of the Dark himself! (His friends call him "Great Lord" for short). Or at least, this is the T'A'R manifestation of that office, since Ishy is still bound in the flesh for the time being.] [The Darkfriend Station Chief from Amador enters the office. He is swathed in black, including a long, loose cloak, so that any other Darkfriends lingering in the foyer outside don't get too many clues about his real identity. He carries himself with an arrogant stride which suggests he considers himself superior to the lot of them put together!] ISHAMAEL: How go things in the Fortress of Light, lackey? Whitecloak: Quite well, sir. It is still considered proof that a person is a Darkfriend himself if he (or she) does any of the following: 1) Suggests that any Child of the Light is secretly a Darkfriend (UNLESS the man suggesting it is himself a respected Child of the Light) 2) Can channel, Aes Sedai or not, male or female. 3) Has ever been trained at Tar Valon 4) Has ever been in the employ of Tar Valon (Servants, soldiers, etc.), although we admit in theory that many of their employees are working for Darkfriends (the Aes Sedai) without knowing it, and are probably good people if they have the chance. 5) Does anything whatsoever that insults or annoys an Inquisitor, except if the offender is himself a prominent Child of the Light (such as a Lord Captain). 6) Tries to popularize "rap" music. ISHAMAEL [blinking]: How did that last item get on the list? WHITECLOAK: Oh, Pedron Niall's predecessor was a real bluegrass and country/western fan, and tolerated no dissent! He claimed that certain other forms of music, such as rap, were tools of the Dark One, meant to brainwash people into forsaking the traditional values, whatever that was supposed to mean. ISHAMAEL [under his breath]: Wonder how he figured that one out? Good thing he's dead now. [He shrugs and snickers for a moment] With all that to keep them busy, the Hand of the Light's chances of catching any REAL Darkfriends are fairly scarce. WHITECLOAK [regretfully]: Actually, Great Lord, they DO get a few each year. Some of our comrades are, to put it bluntly, STUPID. And occasionally I find it necessary to put to the Question a few of our own organization, captured by myself (but always choosing ones who do not know who I really am) to maintain my own high standing among my order. Ishamael [waves his hand to dismiss the matter]: You can't make an omelet without dropping a few eggs on the floor, as the old saying goes. By the way, just how DO you go about torturing a really stubborn case? WHITECLOAK: Well, if the usual beatings and brandings don't do it, we have more insidious methods. Pulling out their fingernails and toenails, carving scars on their faces if they have considered themselves attractive previously (especially women), sleep deprivation, keeping them half-starved, tying ropes around sensitive bits of their bodies, tight enough to cut off circulation . . . it varies. ISHAMAEL (shaking his head): BO-O-O-ORING! Now, back in MY day, if some of MY loyal fanatics wanted to get the truth out of someone, assuming none of them could channel to use simple Compulsion, they'd start by rounding up his wife and kids, or whatever loved ones he had, and asking him which one he wanted fed to the Trollocs! If he refused to pick one, they'd pick TWO instead! Then he got to watch the Trollocs fricassee them . . . now THAT was a method that got results! None of this wimpy "We're going to use the thumbscrews now!" junk, no, we went for true EMOTIONAL torture! [Ishy breaks off and sighs profoundly] They just don't make really RUTHLESS torturers anymore! Funny how much I miss those days. Are the fanatics getting saner, or am I just getting crazier? [Whitecloak starts to open his mouth to try and frame an appropriate response] ISHAMAEL : DON'T ANSWER THAT! WHITECLOAK [sighing]: Yes, Great Lord. Er . . . what are my orders now? ISHAMAEL: Oh, just carry on as usual for the time being. Encourage Pedron Niall (as best you can) in his dreams of reestablishing the nation of Almoth under Whitecloak Rule; it will give him something to keep him busy until the Seanchan arrive in that very region and kind of mess up all his schemes. Perish the thought that he should find something PRACTICAL to do with his legions, such as lending them to the Borderlanders for use in crushing my major offensive at Tarwin's Gap two springs from now! If he ever figured out who his worst enemies really are, I'd have a fight on my hands! But if he goes meddling with the disputed zone between Tarabon and Arad Doman, he'll be no trouble to my own, much more intricate plans, despite his military brilliance. WHITECLOAK: Yes, Great Lord! ISHAMAEL: On your way out, Bors, send in the Tinker who's waiting to see me, will ya? |