"Babysitter Wanted"
by Alien Girl
comixgirl@juno.com
www.geocities.com/Area51/Underworld/1113
Rating: PG, maybe G
Classification, V, H
Keywords: MSM, H, Kids
Spoilers: Hey, I'm refraining from reading any spoilers for "Closure"!!
Gimmie some credit here!!! :P
Summary: Mulder and Scully try to find a babysitter.
Archive: All places including the norm welcome to do so! Just tell me
first!!
Feedback: Fanfic without feedback is like Mulder without Scully. Well,
maybe not quite like that, perhaps it's more like Cancer Man without
Morleys...
Disclaimer: Moose and Squirrel do not belong to me. Only in my world
they're not a moose and a squirrel, they're a fox and a cat! (Never
mind...) But all of our fabulous MulderAndScullyKids, Mel, Ethan, Kat n'
Kyle belong to Riva and me, Troi belongs to Riva (and I guess Kian does
too) and Moby belongs to me. :) Alyssa Caitren is mentioned, and she's
Riva's. So I guess there's more characters that ARE ours then there are
that aren't! How nice!
Author's Notes: Alright. So Riva comes up and she's like, "write
something." And I'm like, "Write what?" And she's like, "Write a really
cute Mulder-Scully Married scene." So I'm like, "Oookay..." And I did,
and this is it! VERY short and pointless, but funny nonetheless. This
story exists in the "Accumulation"/"Around the World in Twelve Months"
universe, but you don't need to read any of those things to read this. It
would be NICE and helpful if you did, but it's not mandatory. :)
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"Babysitter Wanted"
By Alien Girl
"You *can't*? Oh...oh alright, that's fine. Thanks anyway."
Mulder hung up the phone with a frustrated click, then proceeded to
accidentally tread upon a racing car made out of duplo blocks.
Mulder fought the urge to swear as he hopped up and down on one foot
with the pain. "Who left these blocks on the floor?!" Mulder cried aloud.
"Katwan did!" Kyle pointed an accusing finger at his twin sister.
"No, Kywel did!" Kat argued back, scrunching her face into a scowl. "He
bwilded it!"
Mulder fumed and put his foot back down tenderly. At that moment, Scully
walked into the kitchen. She took one look at the scattered blocks, the
frowning twins and Mulder's desperate expression and knew that things
weren't going well. "I take it that Samantha couldn't babysit."
Mulder rolled his eyes. "Troi's gone for the evening and left Kian with
us. Your mom is visiting someone in Conneticut. I even called the Lone
Gunmen, and they're busy working on something for our case and they have
to have it done by tonight. So that leaves practically no one to
babysit!"
"Mo-om!!" Eight-year-old Mel came shuffling into the kitchen, looking as
if the only problems in the world were her own. "You said we were going
to have spaghetti tonight! Why are you ordering pizza?!"
"Because we don't have *time* to fix spaghetti, Mel..."
"But we had pizza two nights ago!" Mel whined again.
"Every *other* kid in this country doesn't mind having pizza several
nights in a row...." Scully mumbled to herself.
Mulder thought for a moment, picked up the phone and dialed another
number. Perhaps Alyssa Caitren was free tonight, the kids always liked
her. At that moment, Moby the pomeranean ran by with Ethan's slobbery
stuffed dinosaur dangling in his mouth. Ethan was in hot pursuit,
giggling and grabbing at Moby's frizzy tail. Moby trotted over the back
of Scully's dress, leaving a trail of muddy footprints on the silk.
"Nooooo!!!" Scully wailed aloud at the brown stains on the back of her
dress. "I'm gonna kill that dog!!"
Kat began to cry. "Mommie's gonga kiwl Mobeeee!!" She wailed in terror.
Scully sighed and picked up the bawling Kat. "Oh, baby, it's okay....
Mommy's not going to kill Moby, okay? Mommy's just mad because she has to
find a new dress now and we have to be at our place in 20 minutes and
she's about to lose her patience..."
"Daddy, do Mr. Potato Head!" Ethan tugged on Mulder's pant leg. Mulder
stared down at Ethan despairingly.
"Ethan, Daddy's trying to make a phone call..."
"Do Mr. Potato Head! Do Mr. Potato Head!" Ethan persisted, bouncing on
his heels.
Mulder could hear Alyssa's phone ringing. He puffed out his cheeks and
crossed his eyes. Ethan giggled, a rare smile spreading across his face.
"Do Mr. Potato Head again!"
Mulder was just about ready to crush the phone in his fist. Ethan, for
some reason, almost never paid attention to him or Scully much except
when he wanted Mulder to do Mr. Potato Head. And Ethan would not be
satisfied until Mulder did Mr. Potato Head 20 times non-stop.
The phone continued to ring. Mulder puffed out his cheeks and crossed
his eyes again. "Do it again!" Ethan demanded.
Mulder ignored his son's request. "Alyssa's not answering!" He cried to
Scully. "Who else is there?!"
"I don't know, you figure it out! I have to go find a new dress, I don't
have time to clean this off!" And with that, she hurried back to the
bedroom.
Leaving Mulder in a dumping ground of a kitchen with one muddy dog and
four whiny, fidgeting, unbearable kids.
"Alright!" Mulder raised his voice loudly so that he grabbed everyone's
attention. "Could everyone PLEASE be quiet for two seconds so I can make
a phone call?!?!!?"
The kitchen fell completely silent. Mulder sighed with thankfulness and
started to flip through an address book. Then Kat began to yell at Kyle
at how he was taking all her duplo blocks. Mulder shot his youngest
daughter a look. "It beens twoo sekans!" Kat explained.
Mulder didn't even bother to answer. The noise started up again as
Mulder found the number of their neighbor two houses down; they had a
teenage daughter that could perhaps babysit.
The phone rang twice. "Hello? Is this Lauren? Hello, this is Mr. Mulder.
You know, from a few houses down? Well, my wife and I have to go to a
formal dinner close to the Capitol, and we were trying to find a
babysitter for the kids tonight, so....would you be willing?" Mulder
pulled away from the phone quickly to stop Mel from turning on the T.V.
when he had *specifically* said no T.V. until after dinner. Then he
brought himself back to the other line. "You *can*? Great! You have *no*
idea how much this helps us out....yeah, there's four kids, you know Mel
and Ethan, and the twins... Don't worry, I'll pay you whatever you want,
ten bucks an hour, whatever! Just thank you so much! Yeah, see you in a
little bit."
Mulder hung up the phone with a triumphant flourish and a huge grin. He
was just about to do a little victory dance when Kyle smacked him in the
knee with a plastic baseball bat. "Babawl!" He gurgled happily.
Mulder groaned and clutched at his knee, certain that the little
two-year-old had fractured it. "I like baseball too, Kyle, but you don't
need to break my legs over it!"
"Whips 'fore hans," Kyle recited with amazing accuracy.
"No, Kywel, it's hans 'fore wips!!" Kat argued back.
Scully reentered the kitchen, wearing a new black dress. "Do you think
this is okay?" She looked to Mulder for approval.
"You look beautiful Scully," Mulder said, causing her to blush.
"Did you find us a babysitter?"
"I did!" Mulder stated proudly. "I told you I could do it!"
"Although you couldn't say the same for dad's cooking..." Mel commented.
"Mel!" Scully scolded.
Mulder couldn't help but grin. Just then, the doorbell rang, and Scully
went to go answer it. Mulder crouched down on his knees. "Come give your
dad a hug, okay?"
Mulder was almost completely bowled over as four kids came up and tried
to choke him. "Wen you come bake?" Kat asked.
"We'll be back after you're asleep. Mind the babysitter, okay?" He
lowered his voice. "And if you're good, I'll let you see the rare
Indonesion bettle that carries an extraterrestrial disease that we caught
since it's related to our case....."
"I heard that!!!" Scully shouted.
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thE End!!
Send all the feedback you can and I shall cherish it for ever and ever
and ever! (Or however long that is...)
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