Quotes From "The Unnatural"

  • "I don't wanna be no famous man. I just wanna be a man." -- Josh Exley

  • Scully: Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?
    Mulder: I've seen the life on this planet, and that is exactly why I'm looking elsewhere.

  • "Oh, *you're* Mr. Live-It-Up ... Mulder, you're really ... Mr. Squeeze-Every-Last-Drop-Out-Of-This-Sweet-Life, aren't you?" -- Scully

  • "This precious Saturday, you've got us grabbing life by the testes." -- Scully

  • Scully: This is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for fifty years. Let them rest in peace, let sleeping dogs lie.
    Mulder: Well I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me ... preparation is the father of inspiration.
    Scully: Necessity is the mother of invention.
    Mulder: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
    Scully: Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die.
    Mulder: You scream I scream we all scream for non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicle!

  • "[The box score] is like the pythagorean theorem for jocks ... The numbers talk to me, they comfort me. They tell me that even though lots of things can change, some things do remain the same." -- Mulder

  • Scully: Mulder, can I ask you a personal question?
    Mulder: Of course not.
    Scully: Did your mother ever tell you to go outside and play?

  • "You rebel." -- Scully to Mulder

  • "Unless you're hiding some Chinese food, let's call it a day." -- Dales to Mulder

  • "What you fail to understand in your joyless myopia is that baseball is the key to life. The Rosetta Stone, if you will. If you just understood baseball better, all your other questions ... the aliens, the conspiracy, they would all in a way be answered by the baseball Gods." -- Dales to Mulder

  • "My brother Arthur started the X-Files at the Federal Bureau of Obfiscation before you were born; working for the FBI, hunting for aliens when you were watching My Best Friend's Martian." -- Dales to Mulder

  • Dales: Do you believe that [passion] can change your very nature? Can make you ... shapeshift from a man into something other than a man?
    Mulder: ... What exactly has your brother told you about me?

  • "I'm not RIPE?? Let me tell you something, I've been ripe for years. I am way past ripe. I'm so ripe I'm rotten!" -- Mulder

  • "Mr. Mulder, maybe you'd better start paying a little less attention to the heart of mystery, and a little more attention to the mystery of the heart." -- Dales

  • Mulder: You're making me feel like a child.
    Dales: Perfect!

  • "The first thing you gotta know about baseball is ... it keeps you forever young." -- Dales

  • "I really don't have an opinion on Negros ... or Jews, or Communists, or even Canadians and vegetarians for that matter." -- Dales

  • "ET steal home, ET steal home." -- Mulder

  • "See, none of the great ones fit in. Not in this world, not in any other world." -- Dales

  • "Speaking metaphorically is for young men like you, Agent McGuyver." -- Dales to Mulder

  • Exley: Don't go talking about my race, you don't know nothing about my race.
    Dales: I know that liars come in all colors.

  • "While you're chasing secrets, you make sure you're chasing the right ones." -- Exley to Dales

  • "There's something you gotta understand about my race ... we don't have a word for 'laughter.' We don't laugh ... I saw a baseball game being played, the laughter just rolls up outta me." -- Exley

  • "The game is meaningless but it seems to mean everything to me ... it's useless, but perfect." -- Exley

  • "You certainly have a knack for turning chicken salad into chicken spit." -- Dales to Mulder

  • Dales: Trust the tale, Agent McGuyver, not the teller. That which fascinates us is by definition true! Speaking metaphorically, of course.

  • Mulder: Okay, so is Ex a man who is metaphorically an alien, or an alien who is metaphorically a man, or a something-in-between who is literally an alien-human hybrid?

  • "It's official. I am a horse's ass." -- Mulder

  • "To be a man is to have the heart of a man. Intregity, decency, sympathy. These are the things that make a man a man." -- Dales

  • Teggy: Where is this stuff from? Where did you get it?
    Exley/Bounty Hunter: Mars. Actually just to the left of Mars.

  • "Family's more important than the game." -- Exley

  • "We don't think like that, man. We may be able to look like y'all, but we ain't y'all. You know the big thing that separates us from you? We got rhythm." -- Exley

  • Officer: You may think you know the man, Dales, but believe me, you do not know the man.
    Dales: You don't know what I know, and you don't know what I don't know.

  • Bounty Hunter: Show me your true face, or you will die without honor.
    Exley: This *is* my true face.

  • "I guess I have, uh, found more necessary things to do with my time than flap a piece of horsehide with a stick." -- Scully

  • "Not a bad piece of ash, huh? The bat. I'm talking about the bat." -- Mulder

  • Mulder: Now don't strangle [the bat.] You just want to shake hands with it. 'Hello, Mr. Bat, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.' 'Oh no no Miss Scully, the pleasure's all mine.' ... We're not gonna think, we're just gonna let it fly. Now what you may find, as you concentrate on hitting that little ball, the rest of the world just fades away, all your everyday nagging concerns: the ticking of your biological clock, how you probably couldn't afford that new suede coat on a G-woman salary, how you threw away a promising career in medicine to hunt aliens with a crackpot albeit brilliant partner, getting into the heart of a global conspiracy, your obscenely overdue triple-x bill ... oh, I'm sorry Scully, the last two problems are mine, not yours.
    Scully: Shut up Mulder, I'm playing baseball.

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