"Here I stand apon the shores of hell, as I wait for the five noble and great apostles...
The Dark Symmetry is flowing around my body...
I can feel the voices calling...
'You are the chosen one...' They say, 'You will bring the apocalypse... The destruction of humankind is in your hands...'
And then I hear them coming...
Alegroth on a horse of iron...
Ilian in a chariot of fire...
Semai from the ground below me...
Mauijhe from the skies above me...
Demnogonis from the carcasses to my feet...
And the most gigantic five call to me...
'In the name of Death, Decay, Destruction, Insanity and Spite, we, the five apostles of darkness name you..."
NON, the Apostle of Junk Food!!!
(The creation of the sixth apostle)
From my throne on Nero, I came to tell you about myself, the great apostle of junk food!!!
My Enemies
1) Cardinals.
This one is pretty obvious. For the greatest apostle of all, these little buggers are always in the way, tryin' to spread this "purify the universe" shit of theirs. So, my soloution to blow these fuckheads to Honolulu, is in one word: PORK. It seems that the dear brothers eat kosher! Just give them some bacon'n'eggs and they're history.
My greatest enemy.
2) Danus Shlomius
When I first heard of this monstrous creature, I Nearly choked on my "Quarter Pounder". This thing is a gigantic pig (5 meter high, wheighing half a ton),that EATS its enemies. Nobody knows where it came from, not even the brotherhood (thats what my archmagus says)! The first victims of the Danus Shlomius were a couple of NecroMutants who were raping valkyries on Venus. The Danus killed'em all. But by using a couple starved Necrotigers (see below) I turned the sonovabitch into cardinal extermination weapon...
Danus Shlomius.
3) Bill Gates
I think this one is self explanatory.
My Loves
1) My animals.
I always liked animals, from the time I was a little apostle prince. But my father (that which...)never allowed me to adopt a kidnapped Imperial foxhound. So 3 years ago I sent a heretic on a mission - to find animals on the ruined earth. He came back with two cats and a Chinchila andI made him a Cheeseburgerian Maculator. I transfigured the animals into 2 NecroTigers and aBio-Rat.
My Bio-Rat
2) My computer (nothing to do with WIN95)
Although it's an old piece of junk that falls each thursday, I'm still mad about the boy (withapologies to... Emm... The boy;)).
3)Nynnys, my wife.
Unlike ohter married couple, me and my 6 headed wife love each other like no other couple in the whole universe. But, there's a catch, of course... Nynnys is verry weak and helpless...
...One day I came back from the citadel, and found only a empty house. For some reason, Nynnys didn't leave me a note or something telling me where the hell she is. Then I started worrying. Think how many people would like to get their hands on me by blackmail?! So, while still holding my James Bond (CCG) case, I ran to uncle Mauighe, that can probably find her...
...Mauighe looked worried when he came out of trans. He told me that Nynnys is held by an evil monster named OMARIGAIOS, and is some kind of a mutation that Mishima tried to creat from a mercurian maculator, only the mutation went wrong, and the maculator turned into a crazy, super-powerful monster. with no hesitations I started to think about how to rescue Nynnys and also take over the OMARIGAIOS. And then a briliant thougt went thru my mind...
If you want to know the end of the story, read all of it soon, in my HORROR LIBRARY!
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