Phoebe's Songs


The Animal Song
My Mother's Ashes
The Blackout
Children
That's another thing that you don't wanna do
Grandma
Two of them kissed last night
Love
Love Song
The Shower Song
Smelly Cat
The Snowman
Terry's a Jerk
A Crusty Old Man
Sticky Shoes
Little Fetus


The Animal Song

Real Audio | Download
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo,
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers!

Nooowww, chickens!


My Mother's Ashes

My mother's ashes,
Even her eyelashes,
Are resting in a little, yellow jar.

And sometimes when it's breezy,
Or if I'm feeling sneezy,
And now I...

Excuse me! Excuse me!
Yeah, noisy boys!


The Blackout

Real Audio | Download
New York City has no power.
And the milk is getting sour.
But to me it is not scary,
'Cause I stay away from dairy.


Children

Real Audio | Download
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch.This page was written by Chris Thompson
Soon they'll grow up to resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why.
You cry and you cry and you cry.


That's another thing that you don't wanna do

Real Audio | Download
There'll be times when you get older
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you...
But don't.

Chorus:
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do. Everybody!
That's another thing that you don't wanna do.



Grandma

Real Audio | Download
Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes,
She bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and some day you will too.
La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...


Two of them kissed last night

Real Audio | Download
There was a girl. We'll call her Betty.
And a guy. Let's call him Neil.
Now, I can't stress this point too strongly,
This story isn't real.

(. . .)

Now our Neil must decide,
Who will be the girl that he casts aside.
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly,
Or will it be the one who we'll call... Lulie

He MUST decide, he MUST decide,
Even though I made him up he MUST decide...


Love

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Sometimes men love women,
Sometimes men love men,
And then there are bisexuals,
Though some just say they're kidding themselves.
La la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...


Love Song

You don't have to be awake to be my man
Long as you have brainwaves,
I'll be there to hold your hand.
Tho' we just met the other day
There's something I have got to say...
Thank you, that's all.


The Shower Song

Real Audio | Download
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song,
Stop me if you've heard it,
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet,
And Tegrin spelled backwards is Nirget.

Chorus:
Lather, rinse, repeat,
And lather, rinse, repeat,
And lather, rinse, repeat,
As needed.


Smelly Cat

Real Audio | Download
Chorus:
Smelly Cat, Smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, smelly cat it's not your fault...

They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favorite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses,
And you're no friend to those with noses.

Smelly cat, smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat it's not your fault!


The Snowman

I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin'.
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?
La la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...


Terry's a jerk

Terry's a jerk!
And he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk!
[...]
And you're all invited to bite me!


Crusty Man

And a crusty old man said "I'll do what I can"
And the rest of the rats played marraccas


Sticky Shoes

Sticky shoes, sticky shoes,
always make me smile.
Sticky shoes, sticky shoes,
next time I'll.... avoid the..... pillleeeee.


Little Fetus

Are you in there little fetus?
In nine months will you come great us?
I will buy you some Adidas.