Seth R. Meyer presents
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=========== Star Trek: The Next Generation ===========
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============ Episode 23 ============
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=========== A Galaxy Far, Far Away (part 2) ===========
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Last time, on Star Trek: The Next Generation, we entered the Star Wars
universe and encountered the Millinium Falcon with Leia, Solo, Luke, and
Chewbacca. After mistaking a battlestation for a moon, we found the crew
at the mercy of Darth Vader. With the help of Wesley, they, or actually
he, defeats Vader, but...
Troi: With all our attention on the binar episode, we should be more
attentive to the new ship approaching.
Solo: Oh No! It's the Emperor.
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Now, the continuation of A Galaxy Far, Far, Away.
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Scene 6:
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Picard: [yelling at ceiling] Now hear this! Red alert, this is a red
alert! Seperate saucer section! Klaxon on loud! Arm torpedos
and phasers on full! Everyone to their assigned cabins! Children
first! Close all shopping areas! Evacuate pool area! Evacuate
anti-gravity gym! Secure everyone in safety belts! Cancel sale
at Halley's. All personnel wearing jewelry should...
Riker: Excuse me, sir. [Yells at ceiling] The girls in my cabin should
go back to their own cabins. [the sounds of disappointed groans
can be heard...Riker blushes] Holodeck, stop prostitute program.
[Turns to Picard] Thank you sir. [grins]
Solo: Are we gonna just stand here or do you have a plan?
Picard: Of course I plan! Riker?
Riker: Sir?
Picard: The plan, Riker. Tell him what the plan is.
Riker: Are we surrendering?
Solo: Would you stop yapping and get a plan together.
Picard: I wasn't planing on surrendering? Counselor?
Troi: I think we should fight him.
Picard: Fight? Troi, that's the last thing I would expect to hear
from you.
Solo: [grabbing Riker's and Picard's phasers] I'll handle this
my way.
Troi: This mind I sense is very powerful...very old and evil...
He would never give in unless he died.
[bridge doors open as Luke enters the shuttlecraft bay]
Picard: Ah! Glad you came in. Welcome.
Solo: Luke. The ...
Luke: ...emperor is coming. Yes I felt him.
[Picard, Riker, and Troi look at each other in amazement. They move
away from Luke slowly]
Yar: Sir, the shuttlecraft door in Bay 3 has been opened and
detectors sense one life form is in there.
Picard: Quickly! Everyone to docking Bay 4!
Riker: Four?
Troi: Sir...
[Solo exits]
Picard: Yeah. Didn't you just hear what Yar just said?
Troi: [impatiently] Sir...
Riker: She said three... not four.
Picard: Well...err...I thought that we could surprise him when he
came by docking bay four.
Troi: [almost yelling] Sir!
Picard: [whining] What!?
Troi: Yar is supposed to be dead!
[Luke nods head and smiles at stupidity of Captain and first officer]
Luke: Maybe it was the force. [leaves in an uncontrollable fit
of laughter]
[everyone else shrugs shoulders and all follow Luke]
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Scene 7:
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Emperor: So, Luke... we meet for the first time for the last time.
Luke: Sorry Emperor, but this is Star Trek and Star Wars. You are
sure to lose here. Even saying lines from Spaceballs won't
help you now. [light sabre is ignited] woooooozzzzz...
Emperor: Ah, lets party! [light sabre is ignited] wooooozzzzz...
woozzz, wizzz, crackle, fizzzzz, wozzzzoozozzoooo
Luke: Give up Emperor. I have the good force.
[rest of crew looks on in awe]
Emperor: I'm not even working up a sweat. This is too easy.
Solo: You want to sweat a little? [fires phaser at Emperor] bweeeepppp!
Emperor: ow. [gestures toward Solo, who is somehow lifted off the
ground and slams into the wall]
[Luke takes advantage of the situation, and hits the emperor in the side
with the sabre]
Picard & Riker: Yay!!!!! Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke!!!!
Luke: Victory is mine, evil emperor.
Emperor: Shit! My new robe is messed up! You will pay for this!
[Holds hands toward toward Luke and bolts of energy shoot out
and hit Luke]
Luke: AAEEEIII!!!!
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Scene 8:
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Emperor: Heh, heh, heh. [energy bolts continue]
[Picard, Riker and Troi look on with shock.]
Troi: Stop! Please!
[Troi is lifted into the air and lands next to Luke and now also is hit
be the energy bolts]
Luke: AAEEEIII!
Troi: Oh the pain! (How many of you netters knew this was coming...?)
Emperor: Heh, heh, heh...huh?
[suddenly, the emperor fades and disappears]
[all is silent, as the lights in the bay begin to glow brighter]
Picard: Hmmm... ya think he ran out of batteries?
Solo: Ohhh...what happened?
Worf: <>
[Han wakes up]
Solo: Huh? Where'd he go?
Picard: [yelling at bright lights] Go ahead Wes.
Wesley: <>
Riker: [to captain] Let me handle this. He's my responsibility.
[to ceiling] Wesley. Explain.
[Luke and Solo get up and look at Troi who seems to be unconscious
they go over to help her]
Wesley: <>
Riker: Well, good. Keep it contained for a few minutes. Riker out.
Picard: Well, that explains the brighter lights.
Riker: Well, I'm gonna go to the holodeck and finish with that program
I was working on. [grins]
Picard: Well, I'll see you later. Well, Will, while we wonder what
Wesley...
Solo: Hey idiots! [Picard and Riker look at Solo] What about your
crew member here?
Riker: Oh, she was fun for a while. You can take her.
Luke: She's dead.
Riker: Oh... well you can bury her too.
Solo: Let's get out of here. [Chewbacca and Leia Enter] Chewie,
carry her to the ship.
Chewie: AAAARRRGGG!
Luke: Sis, you and Chewie both look worn out. What's been going on?
Leia: Let's just say that while I kept Data busy, Chewie kept Worf
busy.
Chewie: I LIVE FOR THIS! ARGGGG!
[everyone exits]
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Scene 9:
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[everyone enters Bay 2]
[All but Luke enter Millinean Falcon.]
Luke: May the force be with you.
[enters ship]
Picard & Riker: Sure.. You too.
[Riker and Picard exit Bay and enter hallway]
Picard: [looking at ceiling] Wesley! Get us home!
Riker: [grins]
Picard: What are you grinning about now.
Riker: Oh nothing I guess... [grins some more]
[sounds of engines firing and the ship leaving]
Riker: Well, [still grinning] I think I'm gonna miss her.
Picard: Nah...I talked to the binars and they reprogrammed Minuet.
Catch my drift? [winks]
[Riker & Picard start laughinging hysterically]
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Epilogue:
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Solo: Those people were asses!
Vader: Ohhh...
Luke: Dad's waking up. Drop him off on the fifth planet of endor.
That'll keep him unconscious but his suit should keep him alive.
Chewie: ARRRGGG!! I LIKE STRONG WOMEN!
Leia: Oh great! Now we'll hear Chewie talking like Worf...
Luke: [looking at Troi] Poor girl. Look at her. Her beautiful face,
her wonderful shape, her lovely eyes, her lips, her sexually
provocative legs, her low neck line showing off her...her...!
[kisses her delicately on lips]
Troi: Oh..? [opens eyes]
Solo: Huh? How?
Luke: Err...never underestimate the power of the force.
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