This is a joke introduction to "Apotheosis", written well after the fact.
We all know perfectly well that those two morons on the bridge of Voyager these
days are NOT the real Janeway and Chakotay, even if TPTB, who used to own them,
are too stupid to have figured it out.

REPLICANTS
by Your Cruise Director

"Tuvok, can you sneak off the bridge for a few minutes? I need to talk to you
about something."

"Lieutenant Paris, I am in the middle of recalibrating the tactical relay grid.
Starfleet officers do not interrupt their duties to 'sneak off' for socializing."

"This isn't socializing. It's important."

"What is the nature of your concern?"

"If I wanted to tell you that in public, I wouldn't have asked you to leave the
bridge! Sheesh! How lazy do you think I am? Never mind, don't answer that. Could
you just meet me in Sickbay when you get a chance? I'm on medic duty this morning.
Actually, I think I'll go ask the Doc about it."

"I will endeavor to find an appropriate moment to join you."

"Thanks, Commander."

* * * *

"It's not them."

"Mr. Paris, what are you talking about?"

"It's not the real Janeway and Chakotay. I don't know where, or how, but those
two people on the bridge are not the ones we started out with on this mission.
Can you take a look at their DNA scans, or something, Doc?"

"I have looked at both the captain and Chakotay's DNA scans many times since we
started this mission, and I assure you that other than some minor degradation
caused by incidents like the one in which you evolved the captain into a
salamander, there have been no significant changes. I realize you lack my
expertise as a doctor, Mr. Paris, but you must have studied the way high-stress
situations can affect behavior. What you are characterizing as personality
changes is no more than the effects of long-term exposure to..."

"Come on, Doc. Do you know what the captain said about the omega particles?
'Maybe the final frontier has some barriers that aren't meant to be crossed.'"
I don't know who that woman is, but she is NOT the one who destroyed the
Caretaker's array. And I haven't known who Chakotay is since he decided he likes
me. Seriously. When's the last time you heard him go on about his mission, or
his cause, or any of those things? You weren't there, and I wasn't either, but do
you know that when the crew was stranded on Hanan IV, he couldn't even start a fire!"

"And this is supposed to represent proof that he's been replaced by a replicant."

"He's an Indian. He grew up making fires even when he didn't want to. That
wasn't Chakotay."

"And just when do you think this exchange of the real captain and first officer
for these body-snatchers supposedly took place?"

"Hmm. Let's see. It had to be after that whole thing where I pretended I was
defecting, because Chakotay gave me so much shit about that. That was really him.
And it had to be after we left the captain and Chakotay stranded with that virus,
because that was totally like him to beam down looking for her and get exposed to
it himself. They seemed a little different when they came back, but I figured
that was just having been out of a command situation for so many weeks. But wait
a minute. Hanan IV was only a couple of weeks after that."

"You think the Kazon swapped them for fake doubles, is that what you're saying?
Mr. Paris, I don't need to listen to another word of this..."

"Wait. No. I don't. Because they never would have gone into a trap like that in
the first place. Not the real Janeway and Chakotay. If they were going to do it,
they would have planned better, waited for the right moment - and they never
would have let that Kazon saboteur on the ship. I think something happened to
them when they were stranded."

"Maybe they fell in love."

"Very funny, Doc. I mean, I think something HAPPENED to them. An alternate
universe swap or something."

"So these doubles are here, and the real Janeway and Chakotay are...?"

"Probably back on that planet where we left them."

Click here if you want to know.