freesia : My Poem Collection

God, listen to me, who trapped in disgrace,
Suffer in agonies of human race.

My pray just a joke for them, my parents,
They care no more, I know, they never intend.

Treat me good, only treat my silhouette,
For interior, they say 'not appropriate'.

Sure for I'm not kind of malicious,
But at once I turned into great furious.

Sudden, I felt pair of my hands might've killed,
Indeed, it was me who swallowed these bitter pills.

Never found back, the innocent, the purest child,
Finished as began ironies which I've tried.

Autumn leaves

Everywhere is spelling your name, the world is silent to wait.
What the endless love, but the spring is forgetting you.

The floating petal now is rending and ruining your dream.
Are you afraid sincerely? Lost or achieved...?

Long.. long time. Till the day I couldn't recognize you.

We held our hands together through the deepest night.
When it's morn, we were apart from forgotten dream.

Strong sunlight is reflecting on the pieces of memory.
The sight with nothing.

Every star is searching for the moon, for their undiscovered moon.
Their light compete with each other, but still the undiscovered moon.

Starry sky as the velvet. falling to the terra into pieces.
Scattered to be a million stars, decorate the velvet sky.

It's time for spring to say goodbye,
You'll be forgotten as I am now.

Destiny

What if does the world fall into you,
will anyone be there to rescue?

What can you believe in this huge world,
yourself or me?

If only we didn't meet each other,
things must be changed.

So do you believe in the destiny,
which guided us to be here.

Eternal

[dedicated to Gackt]

Glad for being human, bygones,

A holy angel finally was born.

Kept on breathing in very first morn,

Understanding what was going on.

To nowhere's road, the soul was torn,

Oh... at last, where will he be gone.

Kono heya de

[Inspired by Kono dare mo inai heya de]

Inside this whitest room, there is nothing.
But a few drawings on the wall, the shadow of yesterdays.

Every pieces of mental memoir recalls those memorable days,
which there was you right here, which had got you inside my embrace.

Why did you have to be faded, why did you have to go?
Emptiness has been your answer, all the time.

I looked at the foggy sky, suddenly it turned into gray.
Why do I have to shed my tears, for those passing days.

Close my eyes, your figure is still vivid in my memory.
The elegant fragile you sleep now here, inside my heart.

Softly, I touch your face with my trembling fingers.
Wish I could feel your silkly skin again by the tips of them,

There is nothing, but the illusion inside my eyes.
Inside this whitest room, there is nothing.
But sadness inside me, emptiness you fulfilled.

ma cherie

[dedicated to Gackt]

The fallen stars telling me you're here,
but tell me... where are you, beneath this serene sky?

Could I touch you, before you softly fade away.
Thousand dreams are made at night.
then thousand stars will be the answer of us.

Grow worms are shimmering in the dark,
did you know, whom they're calling for...?

In the street which is full of lovers,
I can only gaze with silent jealousy.
Amongst the crowd, still looking for you.

Can you remember, the day you've promised.
"Dream will be made by both of you and me."
Dearest, can you?

How many empty morns and how many lonely nights.
Please, get them rid away from me.

Just come to my side... much more closer,
Let me hold you... I'll never make you fade away.

Just come to my side... much more closer,
Let your arms surround me...
let's trade the missing piece of you and me.

Malice Mizer

Masquerade now performs,

A game seems like she's won.

Longing roles are played,

"I wish it could stay.

Come here, my gorgeous prince,

Everlasting that I mean."

Meaningless words were said,

I play as attention I paid.

Zealots plainted smiles on lips,

Evermore, I run to extreme tip.

Realize it's the mirage she made.

Mana

Marionette, this great marionette,

A tear run dry inside the puppet.

Never be free, never you feel inside,

A role's been played till the day you die.

Mars and Venus

When Venus meets Mars, love occurs,
Brute in gentleness, like rock in the fur.
Tips of fingers linked, though to never,
Lips of sweetness touched, as they ever.

When Mars meets Venus, affair begins,
Blind in the raylight, as if the sin.
When love greets hate, there is a way,
Welcoming new freshness, my heart sways.

People

People, not only you who still sink in the lament.
We're all the same, being in disgrace is what we are.

Someone said, who can resist feeling lonely if they're exactly lonely.
That's true, who can...?

Love, hatred, hope, loss, we're surrounded by these emotions.
Do you feel lonely? Do you feel ashame?

But these... are for surviving,
being the survival must be unkind. This is a rule.

Someone's tear falling when dawn has come.
Could you feel it? It's mine.

People, you're not alone, because all of us are the same.
People, you shouldn't have cried and complained, because this is what we are.

But people, why do we have to hurt each other, could anyone tell me?
People, why do we feel hurt at the time we hurt another, why?

People, why do we have to cry when we suffer in what we've seeked for?
People, why do I feel this pain when write this poem, please tell me?

How deep has this pain stuck into my heart?
Could anyone tell me?
People... please tell me.

Princess

Princess...
The era of princes and knights has been over,
So now you have to fight against the world by yourself.

Open the jewel cage where you are in,
The moment, it's time to spread your wings.

For those strangers, they might be cruel, they might be warm,
For those acquaintances, they might be loyal, they might betray.

And you might be hurt, you might be pleased, you might be fallen,
All is waiting, all will be coming,
If only you let the destiny return into your hands.

Regret

[dedicated to Gackt]

The vision of destruction is still shadowed,
like some pains in hearts.
The tide of slowly pouring time is in the stillness,
like some moan to the sky.

Hold on: listen to the sound of that broken bird,
its wings were rent into bloody remains.
but... can you hold back the days?

Someone has fallen from the sky,
now he's searching the stairs guiding to home.
Aim to be the past... to be the virgin,
so pitiful one not even knows he's wrapped by the filthy dirt.
Being pitiful till the day he find his true self.

He cries, he laughs, he hurts.
He fights, he loses, he gains.
for learning this meaningful being.

Looking back to the passing days,
sigh for unmistakably forgotten recollection.

Last...will he be enable to be back his home?
indeed, won't he?

Satisfaction

How did you get hurt inside my protection?
Was there something wrong in time?

Why did you say you have been a fool?
Because exactly it's me, there's no clue.

When would you look at yourself in the mirror?
Just see who you really are inside.

This endless theme, never get satisfied,
You've greeted for the better things.

Until the day you lose everything inside your hands,
Until the day you find how filthy under your beautiful ornadents.

Never, never, you'll never...
be happy in the satisfaction of humankind.

Seki-ray

[dedicated to Gackt]

"To believe is to be saved."
Coz I used to be faithful in those words,
so I had to suffer those pains.

My pair of wings are for fluttering back to my home, the sky.
Never for protecting myself from all swards and krises.
So now, I lost them.

The color of blue sky changed into the blue of the sea.
Tears were dried up then kissed by the tender breeze.

Wonder.. if myself is wrapped by the filthy dirt?

Virginity had lost into the mortal crowd.
Heart was dyed by the gory crimson.

Can't return again, be back to the past, to that pureness.
Now I don't look back, discover my new sinful way.

Survival

It's me who always end up alone... why?
Feeling lonely amongst the crowded crowd... how?
They've come then passed me by,
Ah, they've never noticed my trace of tears.

Calling up to that unheld line.. once and once again.
Am I left alone in this widest world? In this isolated life?
Whenever I come close, they fade away just before.
Outside is snowing, like my inside now.

Ah... father who dwells in heaven, now I pray...
Please grant my wish just once more.
"Let me stay in peace, far from these sins."
Please grant my last wish with all your kindness.

You, who away from the sins of ths world,
couldn't ever be hurt by the meaningless words.
You, who away from the sins of the world,
couldn't evern be betrayed by the faithless.
You, who away from the sins of the world,
couldn't even be alive longer...

so you will die.

The day

The day my love says goodbye,
I know myself would cry,
for this bitter sweet emotion I've tried,
from the truth in the fake, I can't hide.

The day my love slips away,
when I see and follow your way,
when I can't please you to stay,
the only wish I can't pray.

The sea

Let the sea breeze blow through your every dream,
Let the seagull remember every song you sing.
Because you're in the land beyond my vision to see,
I've been waiting you until the time you're free

Let the sea sand imprint your every step,
Let the pains pass you by, it's just the wave.
Because I'm in the land beyond the horizon you see,
I've been waiting there until the time you come to me.

Let the serene sky be your home to rest,
Let the ocean be your comfortable place.
Because you're in the land beyond my vision to see,
Because I'm in the land beyond the horizon you see.

Thoro

See, please see the real me,
see what I am really meant to be.

Not the pretty ornament I wear,
Not the pretty doll of all fair.

It's not the fairy tale beyond time,
It's not the stanza in the rhyme.

See, look at these scars on my skin,
See and feel my broken heart from within.

Time has gone, but pains remain,
To the earth I am just the vain.

Oh see, please see the real me,
Isn't that the sin God give to thee.

Thus

I know... this is sadness,
Right here in front of you, Right here in front of me.

I know... this is the great pain,
Sticks within our hearts, never sets us free.

I know... this is tears in your eyes,
That I could never shed for, that I would always recall.

I know... this is the broken recollection,
Which I longed for too much, which you grasped too hard.

'Coz I know... 'Coz I know...Because I always know.
By chance, the silvery sky has parted us away,
Vanishing... those desired days.

Thy angel

[the continuation of Seki-ray]

[dedicated to Gackt]

Flying away, then falling down...
Finally, an angel became humankind.

'Are you willing? Lose your wings to be the creation..
I'm willing, desperately willing.
And are you sure? for something which you have to lose.
I'm sure, it's my alone longing desire, Father...

So.... become your longing sinner."

In the crowd, there's only confusion inside my brain.
Panic riots occurs each day, but still, no one wills to care.

There is blood everywhere, remains of grief and sin.
I'm wrapped by the flthy dirt, it's hard to breathe.

Locked in the golden cage, but I have no wings to fly back home.
Gradually, I become blank, become the emptiness of the earth.

Ah... Father, now I pray...
Wishing every melody carrying my words towards the sky.
Wishing every sound resoundling to the place where I belong to.

Father... who dwells in heaven, please listen to my prayer.
Then... the ressurected angel returns to the sky.

Thou keeps looking at the world,
thy tears become the crytal of blue...

Time

Hey time, you've been passing me,
From the farthest I couldn't see.

Sometimes, made me cry painfully,
Then you made me laugh so funny.

It's you who showed me comedies,
And it's you who showed me tragedies.

You always cure me when I'm hurt,
And you support me from the first.

This time I think that I'm pleased,
But why do my pains still increase?

I do need you for solid saving,
Please come as you were trying.

Dear time, now I pray for one wish,
Let me unchained from you, please.

Under the Lake

Slowly, I was drowning in the lake of tears.
Quietly, I've submerged into the great fear.

Nobody wills to rescue me.
They all only looked at me indifferently.

I was suddenly frozen, fallen into the bottom,
which had no warth, which had no light.
The world turned its back like all the sights.

And softly, I was scattered inside...

Tears fulfilled the lake,
Night sky reflected on the surface.

The moon was distorted as the breeze came,
waving the crystal glass.

Memories faded, dreams vanished.
Passing days were forgotten, as what I was.

Finally, I became a pupple on the ground of the lake,
Waiting for someone to pick me up.
Return to the world above,
Be wrapped by the shining ray of strong sun.

Valediction

[dedicated to Kami, the late drummer of Malice Mizer]

I'll always remember you,
As if you've never gone.
And always recall those days,
As if they are yesterdays.

No farewell, no regret, not shed tears.
'cause I know you are there,
heaven, gazing at the earth painlessly.

I've closed my eyes, and believed completely.
You are now full of happiness, ain't you?

I may call out to angels, Ask for their mercy.
Just wish the wings of hope would be surrounding you,
Let you sleep in the peaceful liberty.

Now it's your time to be free,
To find the place you heart will be.
Faith and love, they all belong to you,
...Kami...

Vanishing You

Because you told me
you would be always here, so I believed.

Because you told me
it's only me whom you cared for, so I trusted.

Another day after another night, everything dazed to endless time.
After I sank my mind into the pond of emotionless, you glared at me,
As if you were wondered and doubtful in what you would see.

After all, it was me, the dreamer. I've been a fool for thousand of times.
After all, it was you, the voyager. You've voyaged for your first crime.

If only, the truth appeared in my foggy belief.
If only I could stand on my knees.
If only, if only, if only I could turn back time...
Who wills this to happen? Who will...

The foolishest I am, the one who has been so faithful in the vanishing shadow of you.

Wishes

Wish you were here,
to rescue me from my fear,
that keeps me in my tears,
that tortures me for years.

Wish I were there,
to show you that I care,
for all of the truth that it's fair,
that you are the one whom can't be compared.