Musings in Writings

When I got married, I knew the wedding vows were important, but i didn't quite understand why... until recently I read someone's diary and the diarist wondered why she had to remain chaste with her boyfriend until married. What difference does the wedding make anyway, if she and her boyfriend are already serious about each other?

It set me thinking... What difference does the wedding make between unmarried and married? Some people think that the wedding is just a formality, a ceremony they have to go through to consider themselves married. They do not see the meaning and significance of it.

After thinking about it for some time, I realise that the wedding vows are the one that really make all the difference! It is not the party, or the wedding dinner, or showing off the bridal gown or the photo album.

The reason why we invite our family and friends and community to our wedding is to declare before them, solemnly our lifelong commitment to each other as a married couple and also to celebrate our happiness for finding our Matrimonial Love.

Of course, one can just email out or call everyone up to say "hey, we are a serious couple in love! So from now on, take us as a life long committed couple. Consider us married, okay? " Hmm.. seems valid, but yet this seems to make light of the whole issue!

If one takes the love and marriage seriously and truly mean the words said in the vows, then one will realise the solemnity, sacredness of the vows. Saying it in front of the community, family, friends, and God, also means that the community, family, friends and God also take the vows seriously and expect the couple to remain true to the vow. If one does not mean the words of the vows when he/she says the vows , then he/she is, in fact, lying to them all!

Precisely because making the wedding vows is such a solemn, sacred thing, that's why the wedding affair is often so grand and formal ....

Of course, in today's world, things are a little different. For many people the vows are but a little small bit of the wedding day. Such that even I myself didn't realise the impact of the vows I took. Of course I meant every word of the Vow I said. I knew the words were meaningful and important. But I just didn't realise its impact.

This was the vow I took nearly a year ago. I still mean every word that I said :

I, Sharen, take you, [my hubby's name], to be my husband. I promise to be true to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.

I remember the exchange of rings, and these were the words I said :

[My Hubby's name], take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

If there is a chance, I don't mind renewing our matrimonial vows again some day. And this time, I will treat the vows with greater reverence.